23 Hours_ A Vengeful Vampire Tale Part 1

23 Hours.

A Vengeful Vampire Tale.

by David Wellington.

For Carrie

1.

The Marcy State Correctional Inst.i.tution, in Tioga County, Pennsylvania, had been designed and built in the 1960s as a state-of-the-art facility for the rehabilitation and therapeutic treatment of adult female prisoners. The walls were painted bright but tasteful colors. The cells were s.p.a.cious and airy and laid out on an open plan to improve social communication between the inmates. It had a psychiatric ward, a well-stocked library, three full-sized gymnasia, and 768 beds.Forty years later, with a population of over 1,300, it always hovered one incident away from a full-blown riot. On March 7, that incident came when no one expected it-except those who had planned it out meticulously in advance.Laura Caxton was at her usual spot in the cafeteria, over by the wall where she didn't have to watch her back every second. She was eating soup. Everyone was eating soup-you didn't order from a menu at Marcy, you sat down and waited for what they brought you, and then you ate it or you went hungry. She could look down the long length of her white Formica table and see women of every color and creed, but they all wore the same orange jumpsuit and they all were eating beef barley soup.Her first indication that anything was wrong was when she heard a loud plunking noise and then a cry that was half the scream of an inmate scalded by splashing soup and half a chorus of barely suppressed giggles and curses.Ten seats down, an overweight Latina woman was brushing soup off her face and her chest. A rock-hard dinner roll had been thrown into her soup bowl, hard enough to splatter the table and the inmates on both sides of her.The inmate who had thrown the roll, a slimmer and younger woman, white, blond, gla.s.ses (Caxton made mental notes of everything she saw-it was an old habit, one that served her as well inside as it had in her life before), leaned back on the bench and gave an exaggerated shrug. "Sorry, b.i.t.c.h," she said, laughing and turning away.It had nothing to do with Caxton. She put her head down over her own soup and kept eating. She knew what to do if there was a problem. All the inmates had been drilled on what to do-you got up, went to the wall, and raised your hands above your head. The correctional officers would take it from there. She looked around, trying to find where the COs were. Three of them, wearing their regulation navy blue stab-proof vests and carrying batons, were over on the far side of the cafeteria, chatting among themselves. They weren't paying enough attention, but Caxton knew better than to try to signal them.The offended woman, the overweight Latina, rose stiffly from the table. No one stopped her, even though it was strictly forbidden to get up during meals. She didn't look angry, particularly. She was breathing a little heavy, maybe. Without a word she grabbed the blond inmate and smashed her face against the table, shattering her gla.s.ses and breaking her nose with a sickening crunch. Then she pulled the blond's head back again and slammed it down a second time.That got the attention of the COs. The three of them split up and started working their way between the tables, moving carefully in case this was a setup. Before they'd covered half the distance someone had stabbed the big Latina with a sharpened toothbrush handle. Caxton saw it still sticking out of her side. She was pulling at it, trying to tear it free. Someone else had pulled the blond away from the table and had her down on the floor, either to protect her from further attack or just to kick her while she was down. Everywhere Caxton looked women were jumping up from the tables, grabbing their trays or reaching for concealed weapons, looking to defend themselves or to settle old scores while they had the chance.Time to get to the wall, Caxton decided. She put down her plastic spoon and placed her hands on the table so she could slide out of the bench.Before she was even halfway up, someone grabbed her ankles and yanked her downward, under the table. Caxton landed flat on her back with the breath knocked out of her lungs. The hands on her legs were like iron claws, digging into her skin. She was hauled down the length of the table past a double row of feet, all clad in the disposable slippers the inmates wore. Some of the feet kicked at her, maybe just on principle.Her head smacked against a leg of the table and then she was pulled free and she was looking up at the ceiling. Hands-many hands-grabbed her and hauled her upright, then shoved her forward before she had a chance to see where she was headed. All she could hear was screaming, roaring, bellowing, the clatter of women being hit with trays, the noise of bodies. .h.i.tting the floor. She smelled blood, but not from anywhere close by. Her face hit a door that yielded and swung open and she spilled through into the kitchens, where inmates with white ap.r.o.ns over their jumpsuits were cl.u.s.tered around the doors she'd just come through, all of them having tried to see at once through the tiny plastic windows."Get out of here, all of you," someone said, kicking the doors open. One door slammed into Caxton's side, making her wince. "Move this piece of s.h.i.t out of view."Hands reached down and grabbed Caxton, hauled her deeper into the kitchen. She was rolled over on her side and then someone kicked her in the stomach. She hadn't caught her breath yet and couldn't ask any of the questions that occurred to her, couldn't yell for help.A tall, thin Asian woman knelt down next to Caxton and grabbed her lower lip. She yanked on it as if she might tear it off, and Caxton was forced to raise her head. The Asian woman had black tears tattooed underneath her eyes, four on one side, five on the other. Her hair stuck out from either side of her head in a long pigtail. "You're Caxton, right? I'd hate to think we went to all this trouble and got the wrong c.u.n.t."Caxton didn't answer. She didn't see what good would come of doing so."That's her," someone else said. Someone standing behind the Asian woman. Caxton couldn't see who the new voice belonged to-she didn't dare break eye contact with her captor. "She's a cop. Are you sure the pigs won't-""Ex-cop now," the Asian woman said. She didn't smile. "The COs hate her more than we do, because she used to play for their team and then she f.u.c.ked up."She turned back to Caxton. "I'm Guilty Jen. They call me that because there was another Jen on our dorm who used to tell the screws every night how innocent she was. If I'd tried that they would have laughed at me. I mean, just look at me. Guilty as f.u.c.k and it's written all over my face." She tapped the place below her left eye where there were only four tears. "Every time I finish a stint, I get a new one. Come next October, I get out and it'll be number ten. See what I mean?"Caxton tried to bring her knees up to protect her abdomen, but hands from behind grabbed her legs and pulled them back. Other hands grabbed her arms and her shoulders. Guilty Jen had a lot of friends."I don't know you, ex-cop," she said. She reached into the pocket of her coveralls and took out a cigarette lighter and a long iron nail. "I've got no history with you, and no beef. But as many times as I been inside, this is my first time at Marcy and in here, now, I'm n.o.body. I need to make a name for myself all over again. Sucks, but that's how we play. So I asked around and found out who's tough in here, who people are afraid of. I got a pretty short list. Most of the names I could eliminate because they had serious protection. They were ganged up. But you- everybody hates you. d.y.k.e ex-cop. No friends in here. I f.u.c.k you up and I'm looking at zero consequences, other than a couple days in a special housing dorm for violence." She flicked on the lighter and held the point of the nail in the blue part of the flame."There are quicker ways to kill me," Caxton managed to say. "I figure you only have about thirty seconds before the COs realize we're in here.""Oh, I'm not going to go that far," Guilty Jen said. "I'm just going to mark you. Put a J on you so you're mine. You just lie there, stay quiet, this doesn't have to go bad for you. Just tell me one thing?""What's that?" Caxton asked, as Guilty Jen took the nail out of the flame. Its tip was scorched black by the flame."Left cheek, or right?"

2.

Caxton stared at the point of the hot nail. It was beginning to turn red. She knew if she didn't struggle, if she let this woman brand her, she would be marked in more ways than showed on the skin. She would be giving the prison population a signal that she was weak, and vulnerable, and could be preyed upon.There were a lot of women in SCI-Marcy who would be thrilled to get that sign from an ex-cop inmate. This would be only the first a.s.sault of many.She waited until Guilty Jen flicked off the lighter and scooted forward on her knees, ready to bend down and place the nail against her face. She waited for a second longer, until she could feel the heat of it near her skin.Then she twisted her wrists simultaneously, slipping them free of the hands that held her, and brought her hands around to smack Guilty Jen's hand sideways. The nail went into the calf muscle of one of the women standing over Caxton. That woman howled and jumped in the air.The hands on Caxton's ankles slackened their grip, just a little. Caxton had been expecting that-it's hard to pay attention when one of your friends is screaming in pain-and she capitalized on it by bringing her knees up to her chest as fast as she could and then kicking out, knocking Guilty Jen backward and away.In a second Caxton was up, feet spread on the floor, torso bent low with her arms up to protect her head. Someone tried to grab her back and she rolled into it, head-b.u.t.ting them in the stomach hard enough to make them let go.She still had no idea how many a.s.sailants she was facing or how long she had to hold them off before the COs bothered to check the kitchen. She could try to make a break for it, run out of the kitchen and back into the cafeteria, but she figured Guilty Jen had to be organized enough to have someone watching the door.Her other option was to fight her way out. She danced backward, trying to get a wall behind her, and let her eyes flick around the room, a.s.sessing. She counted six orange jumpsuits. Jen's girls were a mixed set, black, Latina, white, and Asian. That was weird: prison gangs normally formed up on racial lines. It looked like Jen had found something else to unite them.Caxton could think about that later, if she got the chance. Right now she had a fight on her hands. Six women she would have to fight, including Jen, including the one with the burnt leg. They were already regrouping, getting ready to mob her. If they all came at her at once she would be done for. They could just pile on top of her and hold her down and beat her into submission.She needed to thin the herd, right away. She looked for the opponent closest to her. To her left was a brown-haired white girl. Tattooed on her earlobes was a pair of tiny swastikas. She must have been a member of the Aryan Brotherhood once. Caxton felt no moral compunctions about grabbing a huge tureen full of boiling soup and sloshing it all over her.The n.a.z.i girl went down in agony, out for the count. A black woman wearing a do-rag came at Caxton from the right, puffing with anger. Caxton laid her out with a haymaker punch that probably fractured her jaw.A third inmate tried to be sneaky and attack while her back was turned. Caxton threw her head back, hard, and felt her skull connect with the unseen woman's nose. She felt the bones there break. Hot blood went spurting down the back of her collar. That must have hurt, Caxton figured, but it wasn't necessarily enough to put her a.s.sailant down. Caxton spun in place and brought both fists toward each other, the knuckles digging hard into the woman's kidneys.She dropped to the floor, grabbing at Caxton's hips and legs, but her hands just didn't have the strength to grapple properly. Caxton looked down at her victim and thought about stomping on her head or her stomach. For a second she almost did, but she managed to pull back.It was going to be hard to end this fight without killing anyone. Caxton had gone through plenty of unarmed-fighting courses at the State Police Academy in Hershey, but she'd never really bothered learning how to incapacitate enemies. On the perps she'd been taking down outside, those kinds of moves were never enough. You had to fight to kill or be killed yourself.Caxton had spent years learning how to fight and kill vampires. Vampires were bigger than she was, much stronger, and much tougher. Any wounds she gave them healed over almost instantly. She had to remind herself constantly that Guilty Jen's set didn't have supernatural resistance to injuries.Killing the downed woman would be a big mistake here. It would get Caxton in all kinds of trouble and mean losing what few privileges she had, as well as draw the kind of attention she most wanted to avoid. So when she turned to face Guilty Jen and her remaining two g.a.n.g.b.a.n.gers, she hesitated for just a second, to give them a chance to run away.They didn't."Impressive," Guilty Jen said. "But stupid. This counts as disrespect, you know that? And I can't allow that, or I look like a b.i.t.c.h. So now I do do have to kill you." have to kill you.""There are other ways to resolve-" Caxton began, but Jen's two underlings were on her before she could finish her thought. One of them, a Latina wearing lipstick and mascara, came at her low and fast, hands stretched out to grab.It was a feint, Caxton knew. The other one, a Korean woman, had a shank made from a metal spoon, flattened out and sharpened all around its edge. The leg of her coveralls was smoldering-it must have been she who caught the heated nail. The injury was slowing her down a little, but not enough.Caxton took a step toward the Latina and raised one arm as if to strike-then launched herself at the Korean and came down hard on her burnt leg. She felt the knee there give way, and the woman collapsed under Caxton's weight. She grabbed the shank out of the woman's flailing hand and threw it underhand at the Latina, who was still coming toward her.It went right into her eye.For a moment everyone was screaming and rolling around on the floor. Then the two people who weren't-Caxton and Guilty Jen-made eye contact, and everything else just fell away. Caxton's entire focus shifted to the gang leader. It was a showdown, an old-fashioned gunslinger standoff, but without the guns.Caxton didn't need them. If she was tough enough and fast enough to fight vampires, one human woman shouldn't pose a problem. She'd just proven she could handle a couple at a time.Guilty Jen, however, was a little more than just the average g.a.n.g.b.a.n.ger. She spread her feet, getting a good stance. Then she did something Caxton would never have expected. She leaned forward slightly. She bowed.What that meant wasn't lost on Caxton. She just had time for a brief spike of fear to go running through her veins before a roundhouse kick came at her face so fast she couldn't avoid it.Jen had martial arts training. That made her dangerous, even to someone like Caxton. Caxton threw up one arm in time to fend off the kick, but it connected with her wrist and made every nerve in her hand fire at once. Her fingers rattled around in her skin and she wondered if her arm was broken.Caxton dropped to one knee and leaned over hard to the side as Jen followed up her kick with a sweeping arm attack that was aimed right at Caxton's neck. The arm went instead over Caxton's head, but Jen recovered and pulled back almost instantly, long before Caxton could bring her own hands down on the gangster's knee. Jen's leg flashed backward, out of Caxton's reach, and Caxton knew she'd made a bad mistake. She had avoided the worst of Jen's attacks, but only by putting herself in a vulnerable posture. The next attack was going to be a killing blow, and-Jen cried out at the same time as something exploded behind her. She staggered forward, her stomach colliding with Caxton's face, and they both went down in a heap. Caxton struggled to get free so she could see what was going on."You f.u.c.king shot me!" Jen howled. "That's unnecessary force!"A team of COs stormed into the kitchen. The one at the front had a guard sergeant's stripes. He also had a smoking shotgun in his hands. "Just a beanbag round, gal," he growled. "You'll have a nasty bruise for a week, but nothing permanent. Alright," he said to the guards behind him. "Forced extraction on all of them. Don't take any chances."Someone hit Caxton with a thick blanket-shoving it down over her face and body, pinning her to the ground. She knew better than to fight back. There was nothing to grab, no one to punch, just heavy fabric that stank of sweat and blood pushed down over her mouth and eyes. Plastic handcuffs wrapped around her wrists, and her arms were pulled painfully back behind her. Then her ankles were cuffed together, too, and she was hog-tied. She was lifted off the floor and carried out of the kitchen by a pair of COs wearing so much armor they looked like baseball umpires.She never got a chance to look back at Guilty Jen, to see what they were doing to her, but she knew one thing without a doubt. They would meet again.

3.Almost two hundred miles away, in Allentown, Clara Hsu was about to be sick. She was surrounded by bodies, corpses drained of their blood and then discarded like old ragged dolls.The women around her ranged in age from thirty-five to fifty, but with some it was hard to tell-their arms and throats had been torn at, savaged by vicious teeth, by a vampire who needed their blood and didn't care how much pain she had to cause to get it.Clara felt her gorge rising and knew she had to do something, quickly. The smell and the colors-oh, G.o.d, the colors- were too much to take in, too much to bear. Luckily, she had a way of dealing with it. Taking a digital camera from the case around her neck, she started snapping pictures, creating a permanent record of the crime scene.Clara had been just a police photographer once. Even a year ago that had been her whole job. She had worked for a rural county sheriff's office, doc.u.menting methamphetamine busts and car accidents. Then she'd done something stupid. She'd fallen in love with Laura Caxton. Caxton's life had been about vampires and nothing else. To stay a part of Caxton's life Clara had agreed to go back to school for forensic criminology, where she'd learned all about latent fingerprints and hair follicle matching and the legal ins and outs of DNA testing. It had gotten her a place on the SSU, the special subjects unit-the Vampire Squad-and exposed her to parts of the human anatomy she had never guessed existed. Or wanted to.She'd learned the trick of using her camera's viewfinder to shield herself from the gore back in the old days, and luckily it still worked. You focused in on a flap of skin hanging loose over a ravaged jugular vein and you thought about composition, and lighting, and getting the color values right, and suddenly it was just a picture. Something created, something not quite real.It was the only way she could handle this mess."They were having a Tupperware party," Special Deputy Glauer said, squatting down next to her. Even if he'd sat on the floor he would have been a head taller than Clara. Big and muscular and with the kind of stiff mustache Clara always thought of as police issue. He'd been just a local patrol cop in Gettysburg when he met Laura Caxton, a good, solid peace officer from a town that went most years without seeing a single homicide. Now he and Clara were partners, in charge of tracking down and killing the last known vampire in Pennsylvania.They were both in way over their heads."The hostess-she's over there, most of her," Glauer went on, pointing at a body he'd partially covered with a sheet, "-is one of the top advertising executives in town."Clara squinted through her camera. "That seems wrong." She'd noticed, of course, when she came in that this wasn't their typical crime scene. Usually the bodies turned up under bridges, in abandoned buildings. This apartment was in an old warehouse, but one that had been converted to expensive loft s.p.a.ce. It was in one of the trendiest neighborhoods in Allentown. "It doesn't fit the profile."Glauer nodded. Together they'd been following the trail of Justinia Malvern, the last living vampire, through one murder scene after another. Vampires needed blood to fuel their unholy existence. The older the vampire got, the more blood it needed every night, or it weakened. Eventually it would lose the strength to crawl out of its own coffin at night and had to lie there rotting away in a body that couldn't die. Justinia Malvern was the oldest vampire on record, well into her fourth century. Most of that time she'd spent trapped in her own coffin, too weak even to rise to feed. That had changed in recent years. She had been feeding a lot recently. Bodies had been turning up all over Pennsylvania. Always before, though, they'd belonged to homeless women or illegal immigrants, migrant workers or housekeepers, the kinds of people who didn't get reported as missing when they failed to turn up for work one day. Malvern was smart. On bad days Clara was sure Malvern was smarter than she was. She'd known that the police would be after her, that she had to keep a low profile if she wanted to keep hunting.And now-this. "If she's taking this kind of risk," Clara said, "it must mean one of two things. Either she's desperate, she needed blood and she didn't have time to find a safe supply. Or-""Or," Glauer said, nodding, "she's not worried about us anymore. We've been following her around, cleaning up her messes. Not giving her any reason to worry. Not since Caxton was arrested. Yeah." He stood up slowly, the joints in his knees popping. "We don't scare her enough to make her hide anymore."They both froze in place at the same time. They'd both been trained by Laura Caxton, the world's last living vampire hunter, and they knew better than to jump, even when a shadow loomed over them from behind."Interesting theory," their boss said. Deputy Marshal Fetlock of the U.S. Marshals Service was a thin man with jet black hair that had turned dramatically white at his temples. Clara sometimes thought it looked dashing, and sometimes thought it made him look like a skunk. "Write it up and send it to my email."Clara gritted her teeth. "Yes, sir," she said.The deputy marshal had come in through the main door of the loft and walked right through the one splash of blood in the entire place. Malvern had been careful not to spill a drop from most of the victims, but when she forced her way in she had attacked whoever came to the door first and there had been a short struggle. Clara was 100 percent certain that the blood's type would only match one of the corpses in the room- Malvern had no blood of her own to spill, even if an unarmed human opponent could somehow injure her-and therefore the blood evidence was probably useless. There was no such thing as a forensic specialist, however, who could watch someone walking all over a clue and not wince."A change in her modus operandi," Fetlock said, putting his hands on his hips. He looked very pleased with himself. "That could be good. It could be the break we've been waiting for."Laura Caxton had fought vampires successfully by doing things most people considered suicidal. She had gone into their lairs at night. She had sprung their traps just to see what would happen. Somehow she had survived and the vampires hadn't, because she was a warrior, a throwback to the time when vampire hunters had tracked their prey with swords and crossbows. Fetlock, on the other hand, was a very modern bureaucrat. He believed in doing every last thing by the book-which included disciplining anyone who broke protocol.It also meant he made sure none of his people ever got in harm's way. Clara was one of his people, so she could appreciate that. Up to a point. It hadn't been lost on her, however, that in the time Fetlock had been tracking Malvern, a lot of innocent people had died. A lot more than Caxton would have felt comfortable with."I prefer your first theory about what we're seeing here. It's desperation. Malvern is running scared. She knows we're close," Fetlock said. He bent down next to one of the victims and closed her eyelids with two fingers. Clara winced again. Now he was touching bodies that hadn't even been doc.u.mented properly. "All we need is one good clue. One mistake on her part. One lucky break.""All we need," Glauer said, folding his arms across his chest, "is Caxton back on the team."Fetlock didn't even look at the big cop. "Not going to happen. She's in prison. End of story."Clara tried not to say anything. She knew it was futile. Fetlock had been the one who'd arrested Laura in the first place.Worse than that. Laura had freely confessed to her crime and said nothing in her defense at her trial-she had pleaded guilty and let her lawyer go through the necessary motions. When it came time for the sentencing, the judge had asked if anyone had an opinion on what the sentence should be. Fetlock had actually stood up and asked for the maximum sentence allowed by law. After all, he claimed, Caxton had been a cop and should have known better than anyone the consequences of her actions. She had a duty not just to uphold the law, he had argued, but to epitomize it. Clara had started hating him that day, and yet... she had felt a certain grudging respect, as well. Because she knew if he was the one being sentenced, he'd still have asked for a maximum penalty. Fetlock was a by-the-book bureaucrat, but at least he had utter faith in his own convictions.If Clara had spoken up then, and made an impa.s.sioned plea to have Laura brought back onto the team, she knew Fetlock's first counterargument would be that Clara had been Laura's girlfriend. That meant she couldn't be objective about this. So there was no point in opening her mouth. And yet--Glauer was right. She knew it. She knew for a fact that the only person in the world who could catch Malvern at this point was Laura Caxton."She could consult, in a purely civilian capacity," Glauer went on, saying it so Clara didn't have to. "She could give us insights on this case that might crack it wide open, and-"Fetlock frowned. "There's no good way to set up that kind of relationship, not with her all the way up in SCI-Marcy."Clara couldn't take it anymore. "You could request the court to have her transferred to SCI-Cambridge Springs," she said. "That's a minimum-security facility. The prisoners there are allowed real phone privileges. We could set up some kind of arrangement where she could get in on conference calls with us, tell us what we're doing wrong.""She's a criminal," Fetlock growled. He made it sound like this conversation was about to end. "Do I have to remind you what she did? She kidnapped and tortured a federal prisoner."Clara sighed. "That guy was a sociopath-he'd killed his entire family just to impress a vampire. He knew where the vampire's lair was and it was the only way Laura could get the information.""And that makes it okay?" Fetlock demanded. He stepped closer to Clara, picking his way through the carnage on the floor. "We're law enforcement, Special Deputy. We swear to uphold the law. To put our faith in the law."Clara bit her lip. Laura had sworn that, sure. She'd also sworn to protect the innocent. How many lives had she saved that night? Lives the vampire would have taken, if she didn't get to him first? If she'd been forced to kill the b.a.s.t.a.r.d for the information, Clara knew she wouldn't have hesitated. Despite Fetlock's attempt to have the book thrown at Laura, the judge had taken all circ.u.mstances into account before sentencing her and had thrown out most of the charges against her. Laura had still been required to plead guilty to a charge of kidnapping, and accept a sentence of five years' imprisonment-the mandatory minimum sentence for that crime in Pennsylvania. Even with early release for good behavior it would be years before she was free.How many people would Malvern kill before that day came?"I know this is hard for you, Special Deputy," Fetlock said, his voice dropping into an almost gentle pitch, "considering the relationship you had with her. But you have to accept the facts. She's in jail because she broke the law.""It's not right," Clara said, knowing she'd already lost. "She deserves better. For all the people she saved-for all the good she did, she deserves better than to rot in a cell for so long. I mean, h.e.l.l, without her there wouldn't be a special subjects unit."Fetlock gave her a warm smile. "And because of her, it was almost disbanded. We walk a very thin line, Hsu, and we can't afford to forget that. We have special powers to execute vampires on sight-the legality, the const.i.tutionality of those powers has never been questioned, but if it ever was they would evaporate in a heartbeat. Then our job wouldn't just be hard, it would be impossible. The three of us have to be above suspicion, at all times. Even just a.s.sociating with a known felon is putting the future of the unit at risk."He had a point, of course. The SSU had been created as an ad hoc working group within the Marshals Service, but no high official had ever written up a charter for it or done anything to give it legal standing. So far no one had come forward to complain about what they were doing-the vast majority of people preferred not to publicly acknowledge that vampires were a real threat. But if they ever really screwed up, say by shooting a living human being by mistake, the press, government watchdog groups, and Internal Affairs would descend like vultures and the SSU would be no more."Alright, alright," she said, holding up her hands in surrender. She walked away from Fetlock, not even wanting to look at him. He turned instead to Glauer, who gave him a good-natured shrug.Suddenly she didn't want to be around either of them. She went over to the far corner of the room and pretended to study some scuff marks on the wall. Far enough away that Fetlock must have believed she couldn't hear what he said next.The Fed leaned in close to speak to Glauer. Man to man- they would be elbowing each other in the ribs soon enough. "So she's in prison," Fetlock whispered, and she could tell from his tone of voice that he was about to try to make a joke. He did that, every once in a while, and every time it made Clara cringe. "It's not that bad, is it? I mean, come on. She's gay. For her, this has to be like going away to summer camp."Glauer earned a little credit in Clara's book then, because he didn't laugh.

4.They carried Caxton through the prison halls at a fast jog. She was wrapped up in a thick blanket that pressed against her nose and mouth and made it difficult to breathe. She couldn't see where she was, much less where they were going. Finally they brought her into a small echoing room and dumped her on the floor. COs in full riot gear stood around her with stun guns, ready for her to jump up and attack them on sight. When she didn't, they stepped out of the room and a pair of female COs in stab-proof vests replaced them."What's going on?" Caxton asked. She looked around and found herself in a room lined with dingy white tiles. There was a large steel bathtub on one side of the room and what looked like medical equipment hanging on the opposite wall."Strip," one of the COs said. A big woman wearing eye protection. She leaned against a plastic table and stared out the window. The other CO, who had a harelip, kept her eyes glued on Caxton. She didn't even blink.Caxton knew this routine. She'd been a cop in her previous life. There were times when you were handling a prisoner when you couldn't predict what they were going to do, so you made sure they didn't have any options. She understood that she wouldn't be allowed to ask any questions and that if she didn't do exactly what the guard told her, the men with the stun guns would come back in and do it for her. Looking down at the floor, she unfastened the Velcro strip that held her jumpsuit closed in the front."Everything. Off," the big CO said, while studying her own fingernails.Caxton kicked off her slippers, then peeled off her underwear and her bra. It was very cold in the little room and she started to wrap her arms around herself, but the CO with the harelip took a step forward and grabbed her arms and pulled them down at her sides."Don't touch anything. Keep your hands where we say," the big CO told Caxton. "Now, we're going to search you. Do not move. Do not swallow. Do not flinch."Harelip pulled on plastic gloves and then ran her fingers through Caxton's hair. She took a flashlight from her pocket and pointed it into her mouth and her ears. She lifted up Caxton's arms and checked her armpits, then told Caxton to lift up her b.r.e.a.s.t.s so she could check underneath."Turn around," the big CO said when that was done. "Lean over the table. Now spread your b.u.t.tocks. Wider."Caxton gritted her teeth. Harelip squatted down to get a good look."Stand up. Turn around again. Spread your v.a.g.i.n.a."Caxton squeezed her eyes shut in shame. But she did it. She knew they had the legal right to handcuff her and do it to her if she refused. When she opened her eyes again she saw Harelip staring up at her from between her legs."You like this, lesbo? You having a good time?" Harelip whispered.Caxton said nothing."Clear," the big CO said. "Alright, prisoner. You can put your underwear back on." She picked up Caxton's jumpsuit and balled it up under her arm. "This gets searched separately." She left the room. Harelip went over to the door and stood next to it, her boots slightly spread, her hands clasped behind her.Caxton pulled her bra and panties back on. Then she just stood there, waiting for whatever came next. There was no place to sit down except on the edge of the bathtub, and it looked very cold. She made a point of staring at the floor, thinking the last thing she wanted to do was antagonize Harelip by looking at her.Eventually there was a knock on the door and another woman came in. She was older than most of the COs Caxton had seen, maybe fifty-five or even sixty. She was wearing a conservative jacket and mid-length skirt, with a stab-proof vest over the top. She was carrying a metal folding chair and a Black-Berry, which she worked with one thumb even as she set up her chair and took a seat.For a while longer nothing happened. The newcomer didn't speak, and Caxton didn't think she ought to try to start up a conversation. The older woman used her thumbs to type something on her BlackBerry, which held her whole attention.Finally, without looking up, she said, "I think we have a problem here."Caxton scratched her nose. Harelip leaned forward, her eyes very hard."I don't like it when you girls don't get along," the older woman said. "It makes it difficult for all of us. I need to find a way to restore the peace, you see. So we're moving you to Special Housing. Effective immediately."Caxton looked up. That was very bad news. "What? But I-""We have a zero-tolerance policy for stabbing in this inst.i.tution." The older woman was still playing with her handheld device. She smiled at something on her screen."I only acted in self-defense," Caxton said. "It wasn't even my shank.""Hmm? I have three inmates in the infirmary right now. One has second-degree burns on her face and chest. One has a broken nose that's going to have to be rebroken if she wants it to set right. The third might lose an eye." She glanced up at Caxton. "You have a bruise on your wrist." She looked back down at her email. "You tell me who should be put in confinement, hmm? There are two kinds of women in this place. There are the ones who just want to get along, work off their time, and go home. Then there are the ones who will stab somebody because they got bored. It's my job to separate these two groups. Today you volunteered for group number two, and I don't care who started it. Beyond that, you're a high-risk prisoner, so you ought to be in protective custody anyway. It's all been decided. You'll be in administrative segregation for the rest of your sentence. Do you have a problem with that?"Caxton bit her lip and thought about how to respond.Prisoners who complained about the conditions in Marcy always regretted it. If you complained, that meant you weren't cooperating with the staff. That meant you weren't demonstrating "good behavior," and that meant you spent even longer inside, longer until you could go before the parole board, until you could walk free again. Inmates at Marcy did not, on the whole, complain.On the other hand-AdSeg was the worst part of the prison. It was where the truly violent women were housed, along with those so crazy they couldn't be allowed to roam free and those who were at such a risk of getting killed by their fellow inmates that they had to be watched around the clock. AdSeg was more than maximum security. It meant no privileges, no privacy, and not even the slightest illusion of freedom.If Caxton had to spend the next five years in an AdSeg cell she would probably go crazy. She had to say something, anything, to avoid that fate."I want to talk to a manager or supervisor about this," she said. "I want to appeal your decision."The older woman stopped pressing b.u.t.tons with her thumbs. Then, slowly, she put her BlackBerry on the table next to her. Smiling, she reached out one hand. "Augie Bellows," she said. "I'm your warden."c.r.a.p, Caxton thought. She'd made a bad mistake. She had to try, though, anyway. "You should know I'm a model prisoner when I'm not being attacked. I have a background in law enforcement and I-""I know exactly who you are," the warden said. She smiled brightly. "And you should know not to expect any special treatment because you used to be a cop. Many of us here on the staff feel that cops gone bad are the worst kind of prisoner, honestly. You were entrusted to know the difference between right and wrong, and you did a bad thing anyway. How could we possibly take anything you say seriously, ever again?""If you look at my record, you'll see I've cooperated fully at all times. I've never started trouble and I've done everything that was asked of me," Caxton said.Bellows shrugged as if to say it didn't matter. That it couldn't possibly matter. "We'll move your things for you. No need to pack. Of course, there are severe restrictions on personal items in AdSeg, so most of your personal belongings will be confiscated. You won't need any makeup or hair care products in special housing, anyway. Now, if things go as I hope they will, you and I will never have to meet again until it's time to send you home. If I were you, I would do everything in my power to make sure we don't.""Are you doing this to me because I was a cop-or because I'm gay?" Caxton demanded.The warden gave her a prolonged, searching look. "It's because you're in my way. That's all. You're a minor obstacle in the road of my life."Then she rose and picked up her folding chair, then went to the door and knocked on it. The door opened and she went out without another word. And that was that. Caxton was doomed to spend the rest of her time in the prison in the worst h.e.l.l they could create. There was nothing she could do about it. She felt invisible doors slamming shut all around her."Wait there," Harelip said. "Do not move. Someone will be along to escort you shortly."Caxton did what she was told.Except.Warden Bellows had left her BlackBerry sitting on the table.Caxton had been a cop. Cops were nosy. They couldn't help it-it was how they solved crimes, and how, sometimes, they stayed alive. She felt a compelling need to look at the handheld device. She could almost, but not quite, make out the screen from where she stood. She took a step sideways.Harelip leaned forward again like a dog on a chain.Caxton held up her hands in surrender. And took another step sideways. When no one burst into the room to restrain or beat her, she stopped in place and looked down. On the screen of the BlackBerry she could see a fragment of a chat transcript. Warden Bellows must have been chatting with someone the whole time she was sentencing Caxton to her new fate. Caxton had no reason to care about the warden's personal correspondence, really, but there was one thread that jumped out at her.ABell: It feels like forever. I can't wait to get started. It feels like forever. I can't wait to get started.DamaNoctis: It shalln't be long. Patience, I say to ye. 'Tis worth the wait. It shalln't be long. Patience, I say to ye. 'Tis worth the wait.ABell: I hope so. I'm risking a I hope so. I'm risking aThat was all she had a chance to read before Harelip stomped across the room and grabbed the thing off the table. "Get the h.e.l.l back, b.i.t.c.h, or I will f.u.c.k you up," she screamed in Caxton's face, knocking Caxton backward until she fell to the floor.A few minutes later a detail of COs came to walk her to her new cell. They at least gave her a brand-new jumpsuit so she wouldn't have to show up in her underwear.

5.The special housing unit at SCI-Marcy was constructed in a circle around a central guard post two levels high. The cells all faced the gla.s.s post and were all identical-narrow rectangles, eight feet wide by sixteen deep, each with a toilet at the back and a solid steel door at the front. The doors were three inches thick and padded on the inside. Each had a small square window set in it at head height and underneath that a narrow sliding panel, a "bean slot," where the guards could hand in food at mealtimes. There was no separate cafeteria for the women in the SHU. They ate in their cells. They did most things in their cells: they stayed inside of them for twenty-three hours out of every day.Three types of prisoner were kept in the SHU. There were AdSeg cases, like Caxton-the most violent or the craziest inmates in the prison, who were deemed a danger to others. Secondly were the protective custody prisoners, who were a danger to themselves. Either they'd p.i.s.sed off some particularly vengeful gang, or turned evidence against other prisoners, or had committed some crime so heinous that the general population hated them enough to want them dead. There were only two child molesters in SCI-Marcy, but they were both in protective custody. Two-thirds of the women in the prison were mothers, separated by the law and circ.u.mstance from the children they loved. Being so far from their kids made some of them crazy. Some of them liked to prove they were still good mothers by attacking baby-rapers on sight.The three women in the SHU who were not in AdSeg or protective custody were model prisoners who kept mostly to themselves, pa.s.sing the time as best they could. These three women alone were given the privilege of a "Cadillac" cell, a private room with some small luxuries allowed. They had barred windows that looked out over the exercise yard and were even allowed to keep radios as long as the volume stayed low. No one in the SHU complained about their getting special treatment, however, because those three cells made up Pennsylvania's only all-female death row.When Caxton came into the SHU for the first time she was nearly blinded. The walls were scuffed and dinged, but they had been painted a brilliant white, and they caught all the light coming down from above from a ring of powerful klieg lights in the ceiling. The light was merciless and all-revealing. She was brought in through the only door leading into the SHU, where a row of COs in riot gear waited for her just in case she tried to make a run for it or, even stupider, tried to fight her way out.She could understand why some inmates would try. For a lucky few who had just pulled temporary AdSeg by stabbing someone or bringing drugs into the prison, a stay in the SHU could last only a few days or weeks. For the women on protective custody and death row, the SHU would be their home for years to come.Just like Caxton.The CO sitting in the guard post lifted one hand and the COs in riot gear took a step back, letting Caxton come forward.Her legs were shackled together and her hands were bound behind her with plastic handcuffs. One guard grabbed her wrists and guided her to the left. There was a red line painted on the floor, equally distant from the cell doors and the guard post, and she was made to walk along it with one foot on either side. She was marched up to a cell door marked with a seven. Two transparent plastic brackets were mounted on the door. One was empty, while the other contained a photograph of a woman with bad acne and the name STIMSON, GERTRUDE R. Below this was a list of known allergies (peanuts) and special restrictions (zero stimulants) and the legend PC, which Caxton a.s.sumed meant that the woman inside was in protective custody.Caxton looked up and saw the woman from the picture staring out at her through the window in the door. Her complexion was much clearer in person."Wall up," one of the guards shouted. Caxton didn't know what that meant, but apparently it wasn't directed at her. The woman in the cell-Gertrude Stimson-moved away from the window at once."Prisoner Caxton," the CO said, bending down to unshackle her legs. If she felt like kicking him for his trouble she only had to look to the side and see the stun gun another guard was pointing at her neck. "Welcome to the SHU. You will be confined to your cell at all times unless we come for you. When we do, we'll say 'wall up.' That means you move to the back of the cell with your back against the wall. If you don't wall up, we will perform a forcible extraction. You don't want that. Mealtimes are at six-thirty, noon, and four-thirty. Your exercise period will be from one in the afternoon until two. You'll be taken to the showers once per week, at six P.M. P.M. every Thursday. You just missed your slot, it looks like. We'll bring around a deodorant stick for you a little later on. If I remove your hand restraints now, will you behave?" every Thursday. You just missed your slot, it looks like. We'll bring around a deodorant stick for you a little later on. If I remove your hand restraints now, will you behave?""Yes," Caxton said, in the meekest voice she could manage.He unfastened the plastic handcuffs. Caxton flexed her fingers to try to get the circulation going again. "Here's a clean blanket and a clean washcloth." They were both made of the same scratchy nylon that looked like it couldn't be torn or burned. "Prisoner on the floor," he shouted, and COs all around the circular housing unit repeated the call. "Door opening!"An alarm sounded, a high-pitched clanging that went on for ten seconds, and then an electronic lock in the door thunked open. The CO pulled a lever that released a second mechanical lock and then hauled the door back.Inside, Gertrude Stimson was standing up against the wall, her hands above her head. She didn't move at all except to blink as Caxton stepped inside the cell.Before they could close the door on her Caxton turned around to say, "I'd like to make a phone call. An email would be fine as well. Is there a sign-up roster, or-""No outgoing calls. No computer time. If you want to write a letter, let us know and you can dictate it to us through the bean slot. Now wall the f.u.c.k up so I can close this door."Caxton hurried to the back of the cell and pressed her back against the wall.The CO poked his head in to peer into the corners of the cell, as if someone else might be hiding inside. "Enjoy your stay."The door alarm rang again for ten seconds and then it was shut with a double thunk of closing locks.For a long time Caxton just stood there with her back against the cold wall. She didn't move. Didn't say anything. Eventually she realized she was waiting to be told what to do next.It was getting to her already. They were turning her into an inmate, even inside her own head.Stepping away from the wall, she rubbed at her wrists and looked around. There wasn't much to see. The cell wasn't wide enough for two beds side by side, so much of the s.p.a.ce was taken up by a tall bunk bed made of scratched aluminum. It had been designed in such a way that it had no sharp corners nor any pieces that could be broken off, even by a determined prisoner with a lot of time on her hands.The only other furniture in the cell was a combination sink and toilet made of the same rounded aluminum construction. There was no seat on the toilet, and its opening was narrower and long rather than round."It looks funny, I know, and it ain't comfortable. It's made that way so you can't shove my head in there," Gertrude Stimson said. "You know, if you had a mind to."Caxton turned and stared at the other woman. Her new roommate-her celly In the general-population dorm where she'd been before, Caxton had seven cellies in a cell about three times as large as this one. They had been morose women, relatively quiet unless one of them was moaning about how badly she wanted a cigarette or another was shaking and moaning with withdrawal symptoms. They had mostly been black, with two Latinas, and they had all spoken Spanish most of the time, a language Caxton barely understood.Gertrude Stimson was pasty white, with stringy red hair that she kept tied back in a stubby ponytail. Her fingernails, Caxton noted, were chewed down to round red stubs."You can call me Gert, or Gerty, it's one and the same," she said."Caxton." Caxton didn't offer her hand."Oh, I know you, for sure. You're famous. They made a movie about you, and those vampires you killed. And then at the town of Gettysburg-""I don't like to talk about that," Caxton growled."I never thought I'd have a famous lady in here, is all," Stimson said, with a little laugh.Caxton tried to ignore her and went to the bunk bed. The bottom bunk was clearly Stimson's. Photographs of babies had been taped up along the wall, but not snapshots-these were just pictures of babies torn from magazines. The bed was unmade, with the blanket shoved down at the bottom in a heap. The top bunk was empty, with nothing on it but a mattress that crinkled when she pushed on it and a pillow made of the same rip-stop nylon as her blanket and washcloth. A plastic bag containing her personal effects lay at the foot of the mattress."I want you to know, I'm a little famous myself," Gert chattered. "But you shouldn't believe everything you hear."Caxton did think the name was slightly familiar, though she couldn't place where she'd heard it before. No doubt she would get to hear about Gert's moment of fame in excruciating detail soon enough, so she didn't bother to ask.She made the bed carefully, knowing she had plenty of time to keep things neat. Then she opened the bag. The warden had said her things would be moved for her, but there was very little in the bag-her brush, her comb, and most of her books were all missing. She'd been left a couple of dog-eared paperbacks and one photograph. It was a picture of Clara that Caxton had taken one day at a sheriff's office picnic. It had been in a frame before, but the frame had been seized and the picture removed. One corner had been torn in the process."Who's that? Friend of yours? Or-girlfriend?" Stimson asked, her voice rising slyly at the end. "I heard you was a lesbo, too. So is she? Your girlfriend?""None of your business," Caxton said. She climbed up on the bunk and laid herself out flat. Breakfast was at six-thirty she thought. That was a long time away. She wondered what time lights-out might be. Stimson would know, but she might also take that as a desire on Caxton's part to start a conversation.Not that she needed much prompting."You been here long? How much longer you got?""If it's alright, I'd like some quiet time," Caxton said. "I have a lot on my mind.""Sure thing," Stimson said. She disappeared under the bunk and Caxton relaxed a little. She closed her eyes and tried to clear her mind. She could do this. She could stay strong, and do the time quietly and without losing her mind. She could.From beneath her she heard a high-pitched squeaking sound. Then a m.u.f.fled grunt of pain. The squeaking sound came again a second later. And again. Eventually she realized that Stimson was chewing her nails.It was going to be a very long five years.

6.Lights-out never came.The light in the ceiling never went out. Caxton wasn't allowed to have a watch in her cell, and there was no clock, either, but as she lay on her bunk listening to Stimson snoring below her, she eventually realized that midnight must have come and gone, and nothing had changed.She stared at the light for a long time, waiting to feel sleepy. The light came from a single bulb set in a shatterproof fixture designed in such a way that Caxton could neither open it nor get any kind of grip on it. A single c.o.c.kroach had found its way inside the fixture and died there. It had only five legs. One of them must have rotted away.Next to the fixture was a small black rectangle that Caxton knew must hide a camera. The light was left on so that the camera could watch her while she slept. She stared at the rectangle for a long time, too, because it was difficult to know she was being watched and not try to watch back.Then she rolled over and pressed her face into the scratchy pillow for a long time, trying to keep her eyes closed. They kept drifting open of their own accord.She tried pulling the pillow over her head to block out the light. That just made it difficult to breathe. She tried giving up, next, and sat up so she could read one of her paperbacks by the unblinking light. She was too tired to focus on the words, though, and eventually she gave up on that, too.Time pa.s.sed. The night must have pa.s.sed, somehow, though she couldn't see anything but the walls of the cell and so she had no way of measuring how long she'd been awake until, out of nowhere, a buzzer sounded in the ceiling and Stimson stopped snoring with an abrupt wet sound and rolled out of her bunk."Wall up." The sound came from the same place as the buzzer-a small speaker set into the ceiling, next to the light fixture and the camera's black eye. Caxton jumped down from the top bunk and went to stand next to Stimson against the wall.Together they waited for quite a while. Then the bean slot in the door slid back and a tray came through. Stimson stepped forward to grab it, then jumped back against the wall. A second tray came in and Caxton did the same thing. Then the bean slot slid back into place. It was designed so that the prisoners couldn't open it from the inside.Both trays were identical. They were wrapped in plastic. When Caxton pulled the plastic back on hers she found it contained three slices of toast, already slathered with b.u.t.ter, and two slices of melon that weren't quite ripe. A shallow paper cup held apple juice. "No coffee?" Caxton said, a little upset."That's my fault," Stimson said, sc.r.a.ping at a moldy spot on one of her melon slices. "Sorry. I have a little teensy problem with, um, speed. I can't have anything that's an upper. Not even caffeine.""You're a meth freak," Caxton said, because she wasn't feeling very charitable. "But I'm not."Stimson shrugged. Her mouth was full of toast. "I guess," she said, showering crumbs everywhere, "they're worried I might steal yours. So you don't get none, either." She washed down her mouthful with the juice. "Sorry."Caxton was hungry enough to eat everything on her tray quickly. That turned out to be a good thing-ten minutes after the trays had arrived, the order to wall up came again and the bean slot slid back so they could pa.s.s the trays out, whether they were finished or not.The slot closed once more. And that was it. Breakfast. Afterward nothing happened. Nothing was going to happen, Caxton realized, until lunchtime. She imagined that meals were going to become the high points of her day.Clearly conversation with Stimson wasn't going to provide much in the way of entertainment. All Stimson wanted to talk about was what she was going to do when she was released. "Babies," she said, and her eyes blazed with excitement. "I'm going to have some more babies. Babies are what life's all about. You know how they smell? Babies smell good. I love playing with babies. I love the noises they make. Even when they cry."Caxton had never wanted children. It had just never occurred to her to think that might be a good use of her life. She tried to steer the conversation into another arena. She considered asking what Stimson had done to get sent to Marcy, but she had an idea that it was impolite to ask. Instead, she tried, "How long are you in for?""A good jolt. Twenty years," Stimson said.Caxton frowned. "Won't you be too old to have babies then?"Stimson wasn't about to be brought down. "I'll be forty-two, that's not too old. And if it is, I can adopt. I know it's hard to adopt when you've got a record, but when they see how much I want a baby, and what a good mother I can be, they'll have to give me one. They'll have to give me a baby."Caxton nodded politely and climbed back onto her bunk. Stimson kept talking, even after Caxton stopped listening. It seemed she was happy enough chattering away to herself.Lunchtime came, eventually. A cold chicken sandwich and a cup of apple juice. They had ten minutes to eat it. Then nothing happened, again, for a while. Then the command to wall up came again and Caxton realized it was exercise time. The one chance she would have all day to get out of the cell.A smile actually crept onto her face. She ran her fingers through her hair and tried to smooth the wrinkles out of her jumpsuit. She knew she was overreacting, but it was something, something different. Something to look forward to.She waited for what felt like far too long and then finally, magically, the cell door was opened. A CO stood in the doorway and gestured for the two of them to step forward. Another CO was waiting with two pairs of shackles. Caxton's feet were bound together. Then the CO did the same for Stimson. The whole time a third CO was always hovering over them with a stun gun.They were made to shuffle forward until they were standing on the red line that ran around the circ.u.mference of the special housing unit. In his gla.s.s watch post, a CO eyed them carefully. He reached for a microphone and his voice was amplified until it squalled off the glaring white walls. "It's raining outside, so exercise is indoors today."Caxton heard an angry moan go up from somewhere on the far side of the guard post. She glanced around the side of the post and saw four inmates over there, all of them shackled as she was. If every cell was full to capacity, there would be forty-eight women in the SHU, Caxton figured. Apparently only six were allowed to take exercise at any given time, with three COs supervising. Nothing in the SHU was ever allowed to get out of control. Nothing was ever left to chance. As a law enforcement officer, or rather, an exlaw enforcement officer, she had to admire the efficiency of the system. As an inmate she felt like she was being ground down, all her humanity sc.r.a.ped out of her one indignity at a time.The COs got all six women in a line, then made them stand six feet apart from each other. Then the exercise began in earnest. They were told to walk around the SHU in a circle, keeping one foot on either side of the red line at all times. They were required to maintain the distance between them, to keep their hands in plain sight, and there was to be no talking. "Okay, walk," one CO ordered.Caxton walked. She watched the inmate ahead of her, a woman with frizzy brown hair, and did exactly as she was told. And liked it, despite herself. It felt good to use the muscles in her legs. It felt good to breathe air that she and Stimson hadn't already breathed and exhaled a thousand times. It even felt good to be silent for a while, and not have to listen to Stimson talk or chew her nails.She pa.s.sed the time watching the cell doors go past on her left. She counted them and knew how many laps she'd made around the SHU, which kept some tiny part of her brain occupied. She wanted to see how many laps she made in an hour. Then she noticed that the woman ahead of her had a dark spot on the back of her jumpsuit. It grew steadily as she walked, never slowing down for a moment, and ran down the inside of her pantleg. Caxton watched in fascinated horror as a drop of yellow liquid fell from the orange cuff and splattered on the floor. Then another. Soon a narrow trickle was dribbling out behind the woman, and Caxton had to step carefully to avoid getting her slippers wet.One of the COs came rushing in and pushed Caxton back. He grabbed the woman from behind and pulled her into a painful-looking armlock, then frog-marched her over to the guard post."Keep walking," another CO ordered, and Caxton realized she'd stopped and that Stimson was right behind her, less than six feet away. Caxton got back to the line and started walking in circles again.Eventually exercise time was over, and she was taken back to her cell and had her shackles removed. She went in and walled up next to Stimson and waited for the door to be officially closed again before she spoke."She peed herself!" Caxton exclaimed. "Did you see that? She peed-on herself. I think she did it on purpose. Why on earth would anyone do that? Was she sick, or just crazy?"Stimson's face broke into a wry and knowing smile. "When you been in here awhile, you'll understand. She p.i.s.sed herself," Stimson said, as if it were perfectly rational, "so that one of the COs would have to clean her up."

7.The guards had been busy while Caxton and Stimson were out. They had put a picture of her on the door, right next to Stimson's. Underneath, where the guards were advised not to give Stimson any stimulants of any kind, they had written in, "Caxton p.r.o.ne to violence. Use anti-stab and anti-bite precautions."It was official, then. She was a resident of the SHU for the duration.She quickly learned what that was going to mean. How it was going to change her whole philosophy of life.For instance: when you had nothing, you learned to appreciate the little things. When you had no freedom and no civil rights you learned to treasure any shred of dignity or hope you were permitted.Caxton finally got her first shower a week after she arrived in the SHU. She even got a shower stall all to herself. Of course, two female COs watched her the whole time and she had to wash around the shackles on her legs, but the hot water made her feel almost human for the first time since she'd been moved to her new cell. It was over all too soon. As she was dressing she was told she was in for another treat: a one-hour therapy session. She was allowed one every six weeks and her number had come up. "You're allowed to refuse therapy," a CO told her, but Caxton couldn't imagine why she would. Any human contact that wasn't with Stimson sounded like heaven.She quickly discovered that the therapy she was being offered wasn't what she had expected, though. She was led to a small room near the SHU. It had padded walls and it smelled of antiseptic. There was no one in the room except for Caxton and two COs, but there was a telephone mounted on the wall. She was told she could pick it up and speak directly with one of the prison's staff psychotherapists. When Caxton picked up the handset she saw there were no b.u.t.tons on the phone. It was strictly for this purpose and there was no way to get it to call outside the prison."Um, h.e.l.lo?" she said, placing the handset to her ear."Yeah, hi. How are you feeling?" a bored male voice asked from the other end of the connection.Caxton licked her lips. "I, um, I've been better."The psychotherapist said nothing.Caxton let her head fall forward a little. "It's tough, you know? It's just tough adjusting to this routine. It's kind of. Um. It's nice talking to a friendly voice. Everybody else I talk to around here is either yelling at me or they're crazy."Caxton blushed. She couldn't believe she was opening up like this with a complete stranger, one she couldn't even see. But the chance to unload her problems, even in such a clinical way, was affecting her in a way she couldn't have foreseen."I miss my girlfriend," she said. G.o.d. It felt good to say that out loud. She'd been afraid to say it even to Stimson. "I get pretty scared in here. I can't sleep, and the food doesn't taste like anything, it tastes like cardboard. I think-I think maybe I'm having a harder time of it than I even let myself believe. I think I might be going-""Are you depressed?" the therapist asked.Caxton thought about it. "Um, I-""Depression doesn't just mean you're sad. Everybody's sad in here. What about voices? Are you hearing voices? Voices that tell you to do things you don't want to do?"Caxton's body tensed up again. "No," she said."Let me know if you start hearing voices or having hallucinations. I can give you Thorazine for that. If you think you're depressed I can send over some Prozac. You just hav