Zula Part 62

"Perhaps not the first; but I can give you the greatest and deepest love my heart has ever known. I will not censure my dead wife nor speak of her faults; but this I will say, that she never held the place in my heart that you do."

"It seems strange to me, Mr. Wilmer, to hear you speak of love. I did not think you would ever love another woman."

"Perhaps I never should had you not crossed my path."

He came and stood by her chair, but he made no demonstration of the all-absorbing love of his generous nature. He looked calmly down at the fair face beside him, and if he thought her the most beautiful woman on earth she did not know it.

"Blanche."

She looked quickly up into his face.

"Do not be frightened. It is not for your lovely face that I admire you most, but for the rich depth of thought and the true n.o.bility of your character. You may be far above me in social rank and you have won a name that is fast becoming an everyday word. You no doubt have and will still have offers of marriage from men far up in the social scale, and I have been disgraced, and I only lay my love at your feet for you to stoop down and accept or to cast it aside as you see fit. I dare not hope for a return. Nay, I do not expect it, but I must let you know that the greatest love that I have ever known, or ever shall know, is and will be the love I have for you."

Miss Elsworth arose and stood with clasped hands and eyes looking downward. She turned her face away from Scott's gaze and remained silent.

"You have no answer for me?" Scott said, while his clear, rich voice trembled with emotion. "You cannot give what I have given you, and I do not blame you that it is so."

She turned and looked in to his face with sorrowful eyes, saying:

"I am so sorry you have spoken those words to me."

"Do not let it grieve you; my heart has long since been schooled to bear the bitterest disappointments, and I shall have the strength to bear even this. I would not have you entertain one sorrowful thought for me, for I should be less happy if I thought you grieved for one hour."

"If it could be----"

She stopped suddenly.

"It cannot. I will say the words that you are trying so hard to speak--that you cannot love me; but I could not be satisfied until I heard the words from your own lips. I am not a n.o.bleman or a man who adores fashionable society; but, oh, my darling, I have a heart!"

She started as though she had seen a ghost.

"Forgive me," he said, "but I have a heart that would appreciate a world of love if it were given me--a love that would shield you from the faintest touch of the world's rude blast and shelter you as the mother bird covers her tender nestlings."

Blanche Elsworth's hands were clasped more firmly together, and the strong, brave woman was trembling in every limb; but her voice was firm and had lost none of its musical sound as she spoke, though her face was full of sadness. "Scott Wilmer," she said, "I wish these words had never been spoken to me. Not because they sound unpleasant, for there is a beauty in them that I have never dreamed of. Through years of obscurity I have watched your n.o.ble character; I have been a witness to your joys and your sorrows. I have known of your bearing with patience the hardest trials of life, and I have said that not in all the world is there another man like Scott Wilmer. You were a stranger to me, and I looked on you and worshipped your character."

"I cannot understand you."

"I am speaking but the truth. I watched you through your years of patient endurance, doing that which few men on earth would do, and when I stepped from my obscure position and entered the great world where you dwelt I still looked on and worshipped, and as the clouds grew thicker and thicker about you my admiration grew stronger. I will not deny the truth, Scott Wilmer, I had no right to love the man, but I had a right to admire and respect the true heroic character, and this I did."

"My darling," he said, "do you mean what you say? Dare I hope that you will be mine, and is there no barrier between us?"

"Yes, there is a barrier between us, for, though I love you, there is no hope for us."

"No hope for love like ours?"

"No, no; and when I have told you why, you will be satisfied to leave me."

"I can see nothing to separate us--nothing but death."

"Scott, you have been deceived once, and I cannot deceive you again."

"Don't," he said, as a pained look pa.s.sed over his face.

"I shall never deceive you, even in one thought, for I could not, even though I were to gain a life of happiness by so doing."

"But it is true that you love me?"

"Yes, 'tis true; but now you must leave me."

"Leave you when your heart is sad?"

"Yes, leave me, even though my heart is breaking."

"Not until you tell me why I must do so," Scott said, with a smile.

"I cannot tell you to-day. When I have schooled my heart to do my bidding then I will come to you and tell you that which perhaps will turn your love to hatred."

"It will be a terrible tale that will change my heart, for earth has never held for me the happiness of this hour. There is one thought that rises and throws light over all the dark clouds--it is that you love me!"

"Be satisfied, then, to love me until we meet again, and till then let us both be happy."

Scott leaned over and pressed his lips to her forehead; then, ere the door closed after him, he stopped and, gazing steadily at her face, he said: "Blanche, I shall leave you now, but I shall expect you to send me word to come again soon; otherwise I shall come without an invitation."

"Good bye," she said, without even raising her eyes, "I will send for you soon," and the next moment she was left alone.

"How much less brave I am than I thought I should be if this ever came. Oh, to think that I have struggled all my life to do right, to be free from sin and disgrace, have stepped over the roughest paths and had my feet pierced with the sharpest thorns; and now when the doors of heaven are opened to me and the glory of its sunlight is bursting upon me, the cloud that never can be lifted falls before me, shutting out that light that would make my earthly paradise. I shall try to be as brave as he will be when he knows the truth. Oh, I wonder if I can, or will the skeleton still be my constant companion? No, no, it shall not; I will put it away from me, and, going out in the world, leave it behind me; and if G.o.d wills it so, I will live only for the work that lies before me, and there is enough of that to keep my hands and head busy. But, oh, how hard it is to know that one cruel misfortune in life can wreck every hope and turn every bright dream of life to a dark and hopeless reality! But I will let him see how bravely I shall bear the cross that never can be lifted from my shoulders."

CHAPTER x.x.xVII.

GENERAL EXPLANATION.

Miss Elsworth had been to Roxbury and informed Mrs. Morris that she had decided to return to the city.

"I don't see how I can go," said Mrs. Morris.

"Why not?" Miss Elsworth asked.

"Well, you know, my boy is buried here--and--and----"

"That need not hinder your going. You can have the privilege of coming here as often as you choose."

"There's another reason," said Mrs. Morris, twisting her ap.r.o.n strings around.

"What is it?"