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Zi Qin
“Evil disciple!”**
**孽徒niè tú derogatory term, can refer to disaster, sinful, etc. addressing to a particular subject (apprentice, disciple, creature, etc.)
San Hun (散魂sǎn hún scattered/loose soul/spirit) whipped my upper back, it hurts as if my soul/spirit is scattered. Between the absent-mindedness, I heard Zhang Jiao (head of sect) angrily scold: “This whip is for you not following the sect’s rules, rushing indiscriminately into action and reluctance to leave the world (the mundane)[1].”
[1] Indulging in the worldly lives (the physical world; human’s pleasures)
At that time in my mind appears an elegant face of a man wearing white, hearing me play guqin, he is most joyful sitting under the peach tree on the side of Qing Zhu Ya (Green/Blue Bamboo Cliff), listening to me play a long tune (song). He would always smile after finish listening to the whole song, half reluctant as he helplessly informed me: ” Qin er, you play the wrong tune again.”
Once again a distinct high-level sound echoes, the Wu Ji hall’s empty s.p.a.ce seems to have a sound in response.
“This whip is for your disgraceful (unfilial/rebellious) acts, dare to actually have wild fantasies (thoughts) with your own master!”
The pain makes my fingers curled involuntarily, but my eyes do not want to admit defeat my opened eyes stare intently at Zhang Jiao’s furious expression, mouth slightly raised: “Master … whether, delusional (wild fantasy) or so, this ZiQin voluntarily choose, but the thing is … that person is Mu Jin, you Zhang Jiao…… what business does it have to do with you? ”
Under the scaffold, the Xian Men (sect) elders after listening to these words are short of breath, their faces ashen. Only auntie Qi Ling’s eyes redden, mouthing to me to not mention any further, to leave it alone.
Even she thinks I’m wrong? Xian Men sect believes I’m wrong, guilt of terrible crimes (idiom), but where was I wrong?
To say wrong, is merely the wrong fate.
© translations belonging to bananachocolatecosmos.wordpress.com , 2016. If you read this somewhere else instead of bananachocolatecosmos.wordpress.com then the translations has been posted WITHOUT permission of translator.
“Shameful thing! As matters stand, does not know how to repent!” San Hun [a whip] again firmly whips downwards, I bit my teeth tightly (idiom), and still tries to suppress my groans. Zhang Jiao asked sternly, “Are you admitting to your wrongdoings?”
“Not … wrong.”
“Good! Good! Mu Jin has taught a disciple well!” Zhang Jiao angrily grins, “Because of you that went to instigate your fellow brothers and sisters (fellow sect disciples) to go down (from the mountains) to Death Valley to the steal the (legendary) elixir, causes serious injuries to your brothers and sisters, are you still saying you are right?”
I was silent.
Master is gravely injured and remains unconscious, his life is in imminent peril (idiom). Only the elixir (magic medicine) at Death Valley could save him, but it’s the kind of place where people go in but never come out alive. In accordance to master’s resolute character, it’s improbable that he will permit anyone to help him get the medicine, and so I can only take advantage of when he is unconscious to take the risk of going in. However, I did not expect the help of Shuang shijie (senior female apprentice) to follow (together with) me in…
Results are the medicine is finally taken, and Master is saved. Shijie who protected me out of the valley, was seriously injured. I can only ask the elders for help. Then the deeds of stealing the elixir from Death Valley were brought to light (exposed), my feelings for master was also brought to light.
Because the elixir from Death Valley can cure thousands of poisons, clear the bones of the dead, but can only save the person from one’s heart…
Off the platform, an elder said: “Sinful disciple is so obstinately persistent in going about things the wrong way (idiom), certainly shall not remain at Xian Men sect, please Zhang Jiao act on behalf of Venerable (zun zhe) Mu Jin to clear up Men Hu (sect)!”
“Please Zhang Jiao clean up sect**!” Everyone one after another agrees.
** They (including the elder) is instigating the leader of the sect to purge/remove impurities (in this case, ZiQin)
Zhang Jiao looks at me, his eyes flash a murderous aura. The bottom of my heart’s cold, clean sect, clean sect and I will no longer be master’s disciple.
“Zhang Jiao!” Auntie Qi Ling stood out, eyes redden, “Qin er…… ZiQin whether good and bad is Venerable (zun zhe) Mu Jin’s disciple that he personally received, why not let Venerable Mu Jin settle this matter after he wakes up?”
“Cannot!” Another elder stood up, “Venerable one [Mu Jin] is good hearted, when that time comes fears that he will only let her go. When ZiQin escapes from Xian Men sect if a person with bad intentions knows of this matter, afraid that will harm/tarnish Xian Men’s reputation/prestige ah! ”
Aunt Qi Ling glared at the elder, suddenly brushes her sleeves and walks out.
Wu Ji hall fell into a moment of silence, after half a day, Zhang Jiao said in a low voice: “Evil/Sinful disciple ZiQin, going against common order (moral orders) … does not repent, subjected to fifty lashes, expelled from Xian Men sect.”
Fifty lashes are enough to make my soul flies away and scatters (idiom), but what made me most afraid of are the last four words. (It’s five in translation above but original is in four words)
I said: “ZiQin is Master’s disciple, if Master does not expel me, I would still be his disciple.”
© translations belonging to bananachocolatecosmos.wordpress.com , 2016. If you read this somewhere else instead of bananachocolatecosmos.wordpress.com then the translations has been posted WITHOUT permission of translator.
Beneath an elder sneer: “Humph, Xian Men (gates) never receive monsters, if it wasn’t [to blame/fault] his Venerable [Mu Jin]’s good-heartedness, who would possibly let a half-spirit half-demon monster like you enter (the sect’s door).”
Although his words were full of contempt, but it was not wrong, my original body is that of a guqin, on the guqin contains spirit qi (influence), a Daoist immortal desired to refine/transform me into a human, but the spiritual qi (energy/power) on the guqin was not enough to turn me into a human [form,] so Daoist immortal had no better choice but to borrow qi/energy from a monster of sinister appearance and mixed it together, ultimately that helped me transform into [human]/ come out.
Half spirit half-demon, no compatriots, no clansman/relatives, even the only closest person the Daoist immortal has pa.s.sed away [endless] years ago.
I senselessly (muddleheaded) do not know how many years, until I’ve met master, under the moon beginning of the month above the endless sea, he followed the moonlight and came, like the legendary G.o.ds in folktales, rescued me from the hands of the siren. I held onto him refusing to let go, he smile as he asked me: “You don’t want to go home?”
“Don’t have home.”
“Since that is so, do you wish to return to Qing Zhu Feng (Bamboo Peak), become my disciple, making Qing Zhu Feng Shang [your] home?”
All the memories seem clearly distinct from that moment together. He gave me a name, taught me Buddhist [‘s teachings] techniques, allowed me to read, accompanied me on Qing Zhu Feng Shuang to see the mountain of immortals, rain, wind and frost [that swept the mountains], holding my hands as we went across every inch of land on Qing Zhu Feng.
In their eyes set up high (idiom for admiration and respect) Mu Jin the immortal senior, loved [by people] yet ruthless, but I know he has emotions, because of me being joyful he would smile, because of me being naughty he would get angry, because of me injured he would be concerned/anxious.
“No more needless words.” Zhang Jiao waved his hands that interrupted my train of thoughts, “Immediate execution.” [His words cease] Holds San Hun whip in hands and gave it to the execution elder.
My hands, feet, and wrists’ strength are sealed by Yin Shi (stone), not the slightest bit of resistance [I have].
Execution elder is different from Zhang Jiao, all punishments in the sect (Xian Men) are mostly given to him to perform, he can draw/use several hundreds of whips on a person yet did not injure them, he can also use one whip that causes one to lose half his [or her] life/soul.
When the first whip came down, I knew, Xian Men wants to put me to death. .
Master … if you knew I died, would you grieve?
I’m unwilling to see you grieve.
I do not know how many dozen hits, I just feel my body has completely gone numb (lost the feeling of pain), before my eyes everything turns black, only a voice in my mind becomes increasingly clear: “Qin er, Qin er” The sound kept echoing, never seem to stop.
“Stop!” A high sound exploded in my ears, I faintly knew, this voice is auntie Qi Ling’s.
Did Auntie not leave already…
I propped my head dazedly to look, the doors of Wu Ji hall split, the backlighting of auntie’s face made me cannot see clearly, but I recognize the figure next to her.
© translations belonging to bananachocolatecosmos.wordpress.com , 2016. If you read this somewhere else instead of bananachocolatecosmos.wordpress.com then the translations has been posted WITHOUT permission of translator.
—-
Acidic [my] eye sockets were burning up, heart throbbing, I shudderingly mumble [twittering of birds (idiom]: “Master…”
“Mu Jin did not know, Zhang Jiao unexpectedly have personal fondness for using this sort of punishment.”
Such sharp words the crowd has actually never heard of before. I perceive the Yin stone on my wrist slowly disintegrating, in a blink of an eye [I] fell into a warm and familiar embrace.
I with dimmed eyesight did not see his face clearly, only vaguely felt his arms trembling, the hold not so stable like it had been in the past.
“Qin er, not hurt.” His voice was as light as when he would coax me as a child to drink medicine.
“[Let’s] go home, back… home.”
“Yes, master will take you back to Qing Zhu Feng.”
“Halt!” Zhang Jiao shouted loudly, “Mu Jin you already know what your disciple feels towards you…”
“Mu Jin’s disciple does/feels what, Mu Jin knew the answer [know the score (idiom)], do not worry about this trouble/matter Zhang Jiao.”
Outside Wu Ji hall the sunlight fell onto my numbed face, I think, at this time in the hall the elders’ facial expressions ought to be more stiff than mine’s.
On Qing Zhu Feng Shang [it] was recently blanketed under snow, the cold seeps into my body, I think the entire Qing Zhu Feng Shang is cover in white, each step master takes will leave a hole/trace.
At this point, my eyes have been clouded in darkness, buzzes ring unceasingly in my ears, the many whips have already hit more than a few parts of my soul out [fly out]. San Hun whip, scatters people’s souls, [they are] already dead [and] will never have a day of rebirth.
“Master…”My voice gradually became hoa.r.s.e, “How is the wound [referring to Mu Jin’s wound]?”
He tightened his arms around me: “Good, ZiQin’s medicine is very efficacious, when your aunt Qi Ling came to find me I have already woken up.”
© translations belonging to bananachocolatecosmos.wordpress.com , 2016. If you read this somewhere else instead of bananachocolatecosmos.wordpress.com then the translations has been posted WITHOUT permission of translator.
“Blame me?”
He was silent.
“Blame me for liking you?”
He was silent for a long time, I could not see his expression, my heart panics. He said: “No blame.” His tone carries the heaviness of countless sorrow that cannot be express into words.
I smiled: “Master, I want to play the guqin.”
“Good [behave] Qin er, [you] need to heal first.”
“This is the last time, let Qin er play for you master.”
I laid out in a few words the truth that he was unwillingly speak out, he abruptly stopped, his chest went up and down, his steps eventually went in the other direction. He held me and sat alongside the guqin, but I have no more strength to put my hands on top of the guqin. My heart inwardly sighed, I tried to squeeze out a smile: “Before the injury, the master always made tea for me to drink, tea seems to have the effect of healing sickness, today will master help me make tea once more?”
“…Yes”
I feel the warmth [his leaning] leaving me, I pushed hard with all my strength to sit up straight, hears the sound of the door opening, I think the master have went inside the house already, my body could not hold the weight any longer and so it slowly lowers my face on the strings [guqin]. Today the strings seem to be too tight, pressing harshly against my face.
“Starting from today, you are called ZiQin alright?”
In absent-mindedness I seem to hear the first words master said after he brought me to Qing Zhu Feng “In the future if [you] are bullied, had been wronged, speak to master, master will protect you.”
In this life, don’t know what I live for, but having you protect me, I feel greatly fortunate.
Suddenly heavy stiffened body seemed to loosened up a lot, I put my hand on top of the strings, my thoughts that I cannot control are gradually drifting farther away.
“Master! I’ll be playing it!”
“Oh? Let master listen.”
“Qin er…… using so much strength, does your fingers hurt?”
“Not hurt!”
“But the strings of mine cannot endure you playing like this several times.”
“String is not be broken, Qin er lives, strings break…”
I faintly smiled, my index finger curled.
“Zheng!” sonorous sound echoes, like the sounds of cuckoo singing in blood.
The strings broke, my eyes lightly closed.
Vaguely, I seem to hear the sound of broken teacups. After that, the world turns as quiet as death.
“Evil disciple!”**
**孽徒niè tú derogatory term, can refer to disaster, sinful, etc. addressing to a particular subject (apprentice, disciple, creature, etc.)
San Hun (散魂sǎn hún scattered/loose soul/spirit) whipped my upper back, it hurts as if my soul/spirit is scattered. Between the absent-mindedness, I heard Zhang Jiao (head of sect) angrily scold: “This whip is for you not following the sect’s rules, rushing indiscriminately into action and reluctance to leave the world (the mundane)[1].”
[1] Indulging in the worldly lives (the physical world; human’s pleasures)
At that time in my mind appears an elegant face of a man wearing white, hearing me play guqin, he is most joyful sitting under the peach tree on the side of Qing Zhu Ya (Green/Blue Bamboo Cliff), listening to me play a long tune (song). He would always smile after finish listening to the whole song, half reluctant as he helplessly informed me: ” Qin er, you play the wrong tune again.”
Once again a distinct high-level sound echoes, the Wu Ji hall’s empty s.p.a.ce seems to have a sound in response.
“This whip is for your disgraceful (unfilial/rebellious) acts, dare to actually have wild fantasies (thoughts) with your own master!”
The pain makes my fingers curled involuntarily, but my eyes do not want to admit defeat my opened eyes stare intently at Zhang Jiao’s furious expression, mouth slightly raised: “Master … whether, delusional (wild fantasy) or so, this ZiQin voluntarily choose, but the thing is … that person is Mu Jin, you Zhang Jiao…… what business does it have to do with you? ”
Under the scaffold, the Xian Men (sect) elders after listening to these words are short of breath, their faces ashen. Only auntie Qi Ling’s eyes redden, mouthing to me to not mention any further, to leave it alone.
Even she thinks I’m wrong? Xian Men sect believes I’m wrong, guilt of terrible crimes (idiom), but where was I wrong?
To say wrong, is merely the wrong fate.
© translations belonging to bananachocolatecosmos.wordpress.com , 2016. If you read this somewhere else instead of bananachocolatecosmos.wordpress.com then the translations has been posted WITHOUT permission of translator.
“Shameful thing! As matters stand, does not know how to repent!” San Hun [a whip] again firmly whips downwards, I bit my teeth tightly (idiom), and still tries to suppress my groans. Zhang Jiao asked sternly, “Are you admitting to your wrongdoings?”
“Not … wrong.”
“Good! Good! Mu Jin has taught a disciple well!” Zhang Jiao angrily grins, “Because of you that went to instigate your fellow brothers and sisters (fellow sect disciples) to go down (from the mountains) to Death Valley to the steal the (legendary) elixir, causes serious injuries to your brothers and sisters, are you still saying you are right?”
I was silent.
Master is gravely injured and remains unconscious, his life is in imminent peril (idiom). Only the elixir (magic medicine) at Death Valley could save him, but it’s the kind of place where people go in but never come out alive. In accordance to master’s resolute character, it’s improbable that he will permit anyone to help him get the medicine, and so I can only take advantage of when he is unconscious to take the risk of going in. However, I did not expect the help of Shuang shijie (senior female apprentice) to follow (together with) me in…
Results are the medicine is finally taken, and Master is saved. Shijie who protected me out of the valley, was seriously injured. I can only ask the elders for help. Then the deeds of stealing the elixir from Death Valley were brought to light (exposed), my feelings for master was also brought to light.
Because the elixir from Death Valley can cure thousands of poisons, clear the bones of the dead, but can only save the person from one’s heart…
Off the platform, an elder said: “Sinful disciple is so obstinately persistent in going about things the wrong way (idiom), certainly shall not remain at Xian Men sect, please Zhang Jiao act on behalf of Venerable (zun zhe) Mu Jin to clear up Men Hu (sect)!”
“Please Zhang Jiao clean up sect**!” Everyone one after another agrees.
** They (including the elder) is instigating the leader of the sect to purge/remove impurities (in this case, ZiQin)
Zhang Jiao looks at me, his eyes flash a murderous aura. The bottom of my heart’s cold, clean sect, clean sect and I will no longer be master’s disciple.
“Zhang Jiao!” Auntie Qi Ling stood out, eyes redden, “Qin er…… ZiQin whether good and bad is Venerable (zun zhe) Mu Jin’s disciple that he personally received, why not let Venerable Mu Jin settle this matter after he wakes up?”
“Cannot!” Another elder stood up, “Venerable one [Mu Jin] is good hearted, when that time comes fears that he will only let her go. When ZiQin escapes from Xian Men sect if a person with bad intentions knows of this matter, afraid that will harm/tarnish Xian Men’s reputation/prestige ah! ”
Aunt Qi Ling glared at the elder, suddenly brushes her sleeves and walks out.
Wu Ji hall fell into a moment of silence, after half a day, Zhang Jiao said in a low voice: “Evil/Sinful disciple ZiQin, going against common order (moral orders) … does not repent, subjected to fifty lashes, expelled from Xian Men sect.”
Fifty lashes are enough to make my soul flies away and scatters (idiom), but what made me most afraid of are the last four words. (It’s five in translation above but original is in four words)
I said: “ZiQin is Master’s disciple, if Master does not expel me, I would still be his disciple.”
© translations belonging to bananachocolatecosmos.wordpress.com , 2016. If you read this somewhere else instead of bananachocolatecosmos.wordpress.com then the translations has been posted WITHOUT permission of translator.
Beneath an elder sneer: “Humph, Xian Men (gates) never receive monsters, if it wasn’t [to blame/fault] his Venerable [Mu Jin]’s good-heartedness, who would possibly let a half-spirit half-demon monster like you enter (the sect’s door).”
Although his words were full of contempt, but it was not wrong, my original body is that of a guqin, on the guqin contains spirit qi (influence), a Daoist immortal desired to refine/transform me into a human, but the spiritual qi (energy/power) on the guqin was not enough to turn me into a human [form,] so Daoist immortal had no better choice but to borrow qi/energy from a monster of sinister appearance and mixed it together, ultimately that helped me transform into [human]/ come out.
Half spirit half-demon, no compatriots, no clansman/relatives, even the only closest person the Daoist immortal has pa.s.sed away [endless] years ago.
I senselessly (muddleheaded) do not know how many years, until I’ve met master, under the moon beginning of the month above the endless sea, he followed the moonlight and came, like the legendary G.o.ds in folktales, rescued me from the hands of the siren. I held onto him refusing to let go, he smile as he asked me: “You don’t want to go home?”
“Don’t have home.”
“Since that is so, do you wish to return to Qing Zhu Feng (Bamboo Peak), become my disciple, making Qing Zhu Feng Shang [your] home?”
All the memories seem clearly distinct from that moment together. He gave me a name, taught me Buddhist [‘s teachings] techniques, allowed me to read, accompanied me on Qing Zhu Feng Shuang to see the mountain of immortals, rain, wind and frost [that swept the mountains], holding my hands as we went across every inch of land on Qing Zhu Feng.
In their eyes set up high (idiom for admiration and respect) Mu Jin the immortal senior, loved [by people] yet ruthless, but I know he has emotions, because of me being joyful he would smile, because of me being naughty he would get angry, because of me injured he would be concerned/anxious.
“No more needless words.” Zhang Jiao waved his hands that interrupted my train of thoughts, “Immediate execution.” [His words cease] Holds San Hun whip in hands and gave it to the execution elder.
My hands, feet, and wrists’ strength are sealed by Yin Shi (stone), not the slightest bit of resistance [I have].
Execution elder is different from Zhang Jiao, all punishments in the sect (Xian Men) are mostly given to him to perform, he can draw/use several hundreds of whips on a person yet did not injure them, he can also use one whip that causes one to lose half his [or her] life/soul.
When the first whip came down, I knew, Xian Men wants to put me to death. .
Master … if you knew I died, would you grieve?
I’m unwilling to see you grieve.
I do not know how many dozen hits, I just feel my body has completely gone numb (lost the feeling of pain), before my eyes everything turns black, only a voice in my mind becomes increasingly clear: “Qin er, Qin er” The sound kept echoing, never seem to stop.
“Stop!” A high sound exploded in my ears, I faintly knew, this voice is auntie Qi Ling’s.
Did Auntie not leave already…
I propped my head dazedly to look, the doors of Wu Ji hall split, the backlighting of auntie’s face made me cannot see clearly, but I recognize the figure next to her.
© translations belonging to bananachocolatecosmos.wordpress.com , 2016. If you read this somewhere else instead of bananachocolatecosmos.wordpress.com then the translations has been posted WITHOUT permission of translator.
—-
Acidic [my] eye sockets were burning up, heart throbbing, I shudderingly mumble [twittering of birds (idiom]: “Master…”
“Mu Jin did not know, Zhang Jiao unexpectedly have personal fondness for using this sort of punishment.”
Such sharp words the crowd has actually never heard of before. I perceive the Yin stone on my wrist slowly disintegrating, in a blink of an eye [I] fell into a warm and familiar embrace.
I with dimmed eyesight did not see his face clearly, only vaguely felt his arms trembling, the hold not so stable like it had been in the past.
“Qin er, not hurt.” His voice was as light as when he would coax me as a child to drink medicine.
“[Let’s] go home, back… home.”
“Yes, master will take you back to Qing Zhu Feng.”
“Halt!” Zhang Jiao shouted loudly, “Mu Jin you already know what your disciple feels towards you…”
“Mu Jin’s disciple does/feels what, Mu Jin knew the answer [know the score (idiom)], do not worry about this trouble/matter Zhang Jiao.”
Outside Wu Ji hall the sunlight fell onto my numbed face, I think, at this time in the hall the elders’ facial expressions ought to be more stiff than mine’s.
On Qing Zhu Feng Shang [it] was recently blanketed under snow, the cold seeps into my body, I think the entire Qing Zhu Feng Shang is cover in white, each step master takes will leave a hole/trace.
At this point, my eyes have been clouded in darkness, buzzes ring unceasingly in my ears, the many whips have already hit more than a few parts of my soul out [fly out]. San Hun whip, scatters people’s souls, [they are] already dead [and] will never have a day of rebirth.
“Master…”My voice gradually became hoa.r.s.e, “How is the wound [referring to Mu Jin’s wound]?”
He tightened his arms around me: “Good, ZiQin’s medicine is very efficacious, when your aunt Qi Ling came to find me I have already woken up.”
© translations belonging to bananachocolatecosmos.wordpress.com , 2016. If you read this somewhere else instead of bananachocolatecosmos.wordpress.com then the translations has been posted WITHOUT permission of translator.
“Blame me?”
He was silent.
“Blame me for liking you?”
He was silent for a long time, I could not see his expression, my heart panics. He said: “No blame.” His tone carries the heaviness of countless sorrow that cannot be express into words.
I smiled: “Master, I want to play the guqin.”
“Good [behave] Qin er, [you] need to heal first.”
“This is the last time, let Qin er play for you master.”
I laid out in a few words the truth that he was unwillingly speak out, he abruptly stopped, his chest went up and down, his steps eventually went in the other direction. He held me and sat alongside the guqin, but I have no more strength to put my hands on top of the guqin. My heart inwardly sighed, I tried to squeeze out a smile: “Before the injury, the master always made tea for me to drink, tea seems to have the effect of healing sickness, today will master help me make tea once more?”
“…Yes”
I feel the warmth [his leaning] leaving me, I pushed hard with all my strength to sit up straight, hears the sound of the door opening, I think the master have went inside the house already, my body could not hold the weight any longer and so it slowly lowers my face on the strings [guqin]. Today the strings seem to be too tight, pressing harshly against my face.
“Starting from today, you are called ZiQin alright?”
In absent-mindedness I seem to hear the first words master said after he brought me to Qing Zhu Feng “In the future if [you] are bullied, had been wronged, speak to master, master will protect you.”
In this life, don’t know what I live for, but having you protect me, I feel greatly fortunate.
Suddenly heavy stiffened body seemed to loosened up a lot, I put my hand on top of the strings, my thoughts that I cannot control are gradually drifting farther away.
“Master! I’ll be playing it!”
“Oh? Let master listen.”
“Qin er…… using so much strength, does your fingers hurt?”
“Not hurt!”
“But the strings of mine cannot endure you playing like this several times.”
“String is not be broken, Qin er lives, strings break…”
I faintly smiled, my index finger curled.
“Zheng!” sonorous sound echoes, like the sounds of cuckoo singing in blood.
The strings broke, my eyes lightly closed.
Vaguely, I seem to hear the sound of broken teacups. After that, the world turns as quiet as death.
