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Chapter 12
Please take your positions. Me: Ji Yan, Him: He Ming.
Today, I was fortunate enough to have this lovely pair of husbands here to ask a few friendly questions. Let’s not talk too much and get started.
[Interviewee: Ji Yan, Interviewer: 缘求半世 (Author), everyone can just call me Yuan Brother, waves~ Actually this is mainly to satisfy my perverted desires (not)] Interview question source: Internet + Yuan Brother]
Please tell you your names
Ji Yan: Hi everyone, I am Ji Yan. That steel straight man that was forcibly bend by a particular b.a.s.t.a.r.d after sleeping with him
He Ming: He Ming, I was that b.a.s.t.a.r.d
Yuan Brother: ……….
And your gender?
Ji Yan: …….Male
He Ming: What are you looking at? My wife is a steel straight man!
Yuan Brother: …….I’m afraid I must have some sort of misunderstanding about straight men
Age?
Ji Yan: 18
He Ming: Three months older than him
Your personality?
Ji Yan: Witty, responsible
He Ming: Wife pampering
Your partner’s personality?
Ji Yan: Black-bellied, black hearted
He Ming: Dishonest, proud
When did the two of you first meet?
Ji Yan: In the cla.s.sroom in third grade
He Ming: Yes, at that time he had just transferred over. The teacher arranged for him to sit next to me.
What was your first impression of the other party?
Ji Yan: A silent and cold young boy. Didn’t look like he would be easy to get along with. I had never imagined that he do something so beastly to me in the future.
He Ming: Looks pretty good
What do you like about the other person?
Ji Yan: I don’t like any part of him, humph!
He Ming: Everything. Hey babe, you’re dishonest again!
[ notes: Sorry guys, I’m too lazy to reformat this chapter (everything changed when I copied and pasted it over…) Basically, this is a 100Q interview~]
What do you dislike about the other person?
Ji Yan: Too dark, too many traps
He Ming: Before I say it, promise that you won’t hold a grudge!
Yuan Brother: Okay, say it.
He Ming: His temper is bad
Ji Yan: ……
When did you have your first kiss?
Ji Yan: 18. Some idiot didn’t ask for my consent and even clashed our teeth together! So embarra.s.sing!
He Ming: 13
Yuan Brother:
Ji Yan: !!!
He Ming: Why are you looking at me like that? I was young then and I secretly kissed Ji Yan while he was sleeping.
Ji Yan: f.u.c.k! Was it that time my mouth split and you said it was because it was bitten by a bug?!
Yuan Brother who suddenly got fed dog food: ……s.h.i.t!
What do you call each other?
Ji Yan: Call his name.
He Ming: Usually I call his name. When there’s no one around I call him wife. In bed I call him babe.
What do you wish for the other to call you by?
Ji Yan: Brother
He Ming: Hey!
Ji Yan: I’ll f.u.c.king beat you up!
If you compared them to an animal, what would they be?
Ji Yan: A wolf. Or a cobra. A stomach filled with bad intentions.
He Ming: A wild cat. Arrogant and proud
If you would send the other a gift, what would it be?
Ji Yan: I’ll just give him Little Yellow since they get along so well anyway.
He Ming: Babe, I’ll give you myself~
Ji Yan: Since no one wants you, I’ll just reluctantly accept
Yuan Brother: That, can you gift me one too? [Rubbing hands]
Ji Yan: Death glare
He Ming: [Pulling up sleeves] I’ll kick her out now
Yuan Brother: Don’t don’t don’t. I’m just setting the atmosphere….
What gift do you want to receive?
Ji Yan: Something simple is fine. Maybe a Jay Chou poster
He Ming: Then I’ll give you an alb.u.m + poster. Can you gift me a ‘Just play’?
Yuan Brother: Wait, I want to get off!
He Ming: What the h.e.l.l are you thinking about? I was talking about his game account!
Yuan Brother:….Wall, here I come~
Cough. Is there something that you are dissatisfied about the other party? What is it?
Ji Yan: He’s too shameless.
He Ming: My family’s wife is the best wife.
Do you have a bad habit?
Ji Yan: Sometimes I get jealous too easily
He Ming: Sometimes a bit too black-bellied
Does the other party have a bad habit?
Ji Yan: Too many trickeries. I can’t let it go
He Ming: Too easily embarra.s.sed
What do you hate the other party doing?
Ji Yan: Getting too close with other girls, cats or dogs.
He Ming: When he’s clearly jealous to death but he still acts like nothing is wrong
What would you do that will make the other party angry?
Ji Yan: Let me think…I don’t think there is much. Apart from that time when he asked me if I would be okay with others…..
He Ming: Getting intimate with others
To what extent your relationship now?
Ji Yan: Pretty good. Cohabitating now.
He Ming: Clearly it will continue to get better. In the future I plan to change nationality and get married.
Where did the two of you go for your first date?
Ji Yan: If it is after we have confirmed out relationship, then at a coffee shop
He Ming: Please note that it is the kind of coffee shop for couples
What was the atmosphere like at that time?
Ji Yan: Pretty good. The music was good to listen to and the coffee tasted good.
He Ming: He was quiet and different from his usual personality.
At that time, to what extent did you go?
Ji Yan: Just randomly chatted.
He Ming: Yeah. After all, we’ve known each other for more than ten years so we had a lot to talk about….Eh? What is with that look? We can’t just chat?
Where do you often go on a date at?
Ji Yan: This is hard to say.
He Ming: I will take you around and leave our footprints in every place that you like.
How do you celebrate each other’s birthday?
Ji Yan: Call friends over to eat and drink together. The more the merrier.
He Ming: Of course, it’s to do ***
Ji Yan: Can you shut up!
Who confessed?
Ji Yan: Him.
He Ming: If you love someone, you should just say it boldly!
To what extent do you like the other party?
Ji Yan: En……He is the only one for me type of extent
He Ming: +1
Then is it love?
Ji Yan: I think so. I haven’t dated before so I don’t know….
He Ming: Wife, this is love!
What would the other party say that would leave you unable to talk back?
Ji Yan: Why don’t you also care for me?
He Ming: Everything he says I don’t have the will to speak back
What would you do if you suspect that the other party has a change of heart?
Ji Yan: I would ask him directly.
He Ming: Eh? Wife, this doesn’t seem to be your usual style. Shouldn’t you be acting like you don’t care but you’re actually feeling very tormented inside and then you would deliberately get mad at me….Something like that?
Ji Yan: Shut up!
He Ming: …….Okay!
Do you accept a change in heart?
Ji Yan: If he dares I will…..
He Ming: How can that be? Since young, I have only liked you.
What would you do if the other party is late for over an hour for the date?
Ji Yan: What else can I do? Of course I would call and ask him if something happened!
He Ming [Hugs Ji Yan and kisses him]: See this? A complete demonstration of love!
What part of the body do you like most about the other party?
Ji Yan: Hand. His hand is pretty.
He Ming: Lips. His mouth is sharp when he is speaking but it is very soft to kiss.
What kind of appearance made the other party look most s.e.xy?
Ji Yan: I remember once when it rained. His hair was dripping with water and he was taking off his shirt.
He Ming: When he is cursing at me in bed with red eyes and a half hoa.r.s.e voice.
Yuan Brother: ……..You bunch of dogs.
When are you most nervous when the two of you are together?
Ji Yan: It’s all okay.
He Ming: En….It’s that.. the second time……it was a little…
Have you lied to the other party before? Do you often lie?
Ji Yan: Saying that I don’t like him probably doesn’t count right….
He Ming: What I did also shouldn’t count. It was ______
When do you feel the happiest?
Ji Yan: When he is holding me and he rests his chin in the nook of my neck while I’m reading.
He Ming: At home, when he is lying on the sofa and I sit on the floor with Little Yellow on the coffee table.
Have you argued before?
Ji Yan: yes.
He Ming: Not only do we argue, we also fight.
How do you argue?
Ji Yan: Sometimes it gets pretty fierce.
He Ming: Yeah, after arguing for a bit, it starts getting physical.
How do you make up?
Ji Yan: Before he would buy me snacks and then apologise
Yuan Brother: And now?
He Ming: Now it’s kissing, holding, hugging~
In your second life, would you still want to be lovers?
Ji Yan: ……..Yes.
He Ming: Definitely.
When do you feel that you are being loved?
Ji Yan: Let me think…….I think he has treated me very well since a long time ago.
He Ming: Once, I got sick and had a fever. Despite outwardly saying that I should just go die from the fever, he still fed me medicine and food. Oh also, he even helped tuck me in in the middle of the night,
Ji Yan: I just happened to go to the toilet!
He Ming: You go to the toilet five times in a night? And coincidentally one hour apart?
Ji Yan: ……
Yuan Brother: ………..
Then when do you feel that you are unloved?
Ji Yan: Every time I think of it I get angry. When he fed another girl and even helped wipe her mouth. Fortunately, it was all an act.
He Ming: When he acts indifferent.
How do you express your love?
Ji Yan: I try to pay attention to his feelings and make sure that he feels the warmth of spring all the time.
He Ming: He is my world. Everything is as my wife says.
If you compare the other party to a flower?
Ji Yan: Black Hearted Snow Lotus
He Ming: A th.o.r.n.y rose
Do you have any secrets hidden from the other person?
Ji Yan: So far, no.
He Ming: +1
Your complex is?
Ji Yan: It’s not really a complex but since he did this to me, I want him to hold responsibility until the end.
He Ming: Of course I will! My complex….There is a little bit of possessiveness. Both his body and his heart must be mine.
Is your relationship open to the public or hidden?
Ji Yan: Hidden, hidden.
He Ming: I can’t wait to let the whole world know but my wife is not willing so forget it.
Do you think your love will last forever?
Ji Yan: A lifetime is only so long. If we can do it, then so be it.
He Ming: I swear that I, He Ming, will love Ji Yan for a whole lifetime.
Are you Gong or Shou?
Ji Yan: ……..
He Ming: Is your foresight so bad?
How was it decided?
Ji Yan: He…….got it in first.
He Ming: Based on our strength’s I am one!
Are you satisfied with this?
Ji Yan: It’s okay.
He Ming: I’m living well. Right wife?
Where was your first time?
Ji Yan: ………
He Ming: Hotel
What were your thoughts at that time?
Ji Yan: ……….
He Ming: Finally, I have him
At that time, what was the other party like?
Ji Yan: ……..
He Ming: In a state of confusion. Looked very good.
After the first night, what was the first thing you said?
Ji Yan: …….Why are you waking around naked?
He Ming: I think it was something like, You liked it last night
Yuan Brother: Can I ask for the reason?
He Ming: Although he wasn’t too sober, but he cried out pretty loudly.
Ji Yan: ……..
How many times do you do it in a week?
Ji Yan: We’re both young and active…..so just….times.
Yuan Brother: How many times? I didn’t hear it.
He Ming: Yuan Brother, it’s enough if you know it in your heart.
Yuan Brother: …….
How many times do you wish to do it in a week?
Ji Yuan: I think now is quite good.
He Ming: Actually I think we could still add a few in the morning to solve the physiological change and make the best of both worlds.
Yuan Brother: ……Sure enough, I don’t understand the world of young people.
How was the H?
Ji Yan: At the beginning, it hurt a little but after that it felt good.
He Ming: Just one word, amazing! Wife, why are you so tight~
Yuan Brother: f.u.c.k, can you please don’t say a few sentences and then go off track?! Please care for the pure single dogs!
Where on your body is most sensitive?
Ji Yan: ……..Waist
He Ming: Neck, chest
Where is the other party most sensitive?
He Ming: Side of his waist, ankle.
Ji Yan: He….You’ll realise yourself
Yuan Brother: …….
Inserting a word here, how would you two sum up your love journey in one sentence?
He Ming: The groom comes riding on a bamboo horse and tosses the green plum around in bed. (notes: Childhood friends : 青梅竹马 which literally translates to green plum and bamboo horse)
Ji Yan: I treated you like a brother, but you topped me.
To put it bluntly, do you like H or do you dislike it?
Ji Yan: Unwillingly like it
He Ming: Of course I like it
In what situation do you normally do H?
Ji Yan: Of course it’s on the bed.
He Ming: Wife, they didn’t mean that….Yes that’s right, at home.
What situation do you want to try? (e.g. time, place, clothing etc)
Ji Yan: Hot spring.
He Ming: At night, in our high school teacher’s office, while wearing a school uniform.
Ji Yan blushed and He Ming took this opportunity to hold him in his arms
Do you shower before or after the H?
Ji Yan: Have done both. Doesn’t matter.
He Ming: Yes. Depends on how tired we are.
Do you agree on when to do H?
Ji Yan: Don’t make those strange requests.
He Ming: Leave it open, no need to keep it suppressed.
Have you done H with another person?
Ji Yan: No.
He Ming: Of course not.
Do you agree or disagree with the statement, “If you can’t get their heart, at least you can get their body”?
Ji Yan: ……….
He Ming: …….I really couldn’t hold back at that time!
I was forcefully [Beep—–]’ed by the other party! What would you do?
Ji Yan: ……..
He Ming: ……..Why do you keep bringing this up!
Yuan Brother who was almost thrown out the window shivers in fear.
Before and after N, when are you most embarra.s.sed?
Ji Yan: After. Every time I recall those dirty talk and perverted actions that beast does, I…
He Ming: I like seeing my family’s Ji Yan get embarra.s.sed.
“Just for tonight, I just too lonely….” A good friend says this and asks for H. What would you do?
Ji Yan: ……..
He Ming: ……
Yuan Brother: Sorry I forgot you two used to be good friends. Let’s move on.
Do you think your own H skills are good?
Ji Yan: Not too good…I need him to teach…
He Ming: What do you think? If it wasn’t good, how can he be willing to be pressed down?
Do you think the other party’s H skills are good?
Ji Yan: Don’t you already know…..
He Ming: Can be taught
What do you wish for the other party to say while doing H?
Ji Yan: I don’t ask for much. Just I love you is enough.
He Ming: Husband, you are so good.
Ji Yan: Give up!
He Ming: …….
When doing H, what type of appearance do you like the other party to be in?
Ji Yan: Beads of sweat at the top of his nose, the corner of his mouth with a slight smile and his eyes filled with aggression.
He Ming: I see so you like this type. I’ll try this today.
Yuan Brother: Cough, this student, you’ve gone off topic
He Ming: Ohh. What I like….When he is done until he could no longer speak properly and his eyes are red but he still wants to curse at me. At that time, I would shove me finger into his mouth and tease his tongue while violently hammering him from behind….
Ji Yan once again blushed and hid inside He Ming’s arms. Yuan Brother’s face also went red.
Do you think it is okay to have H with people other than their lovers?
Ji Yan: Cheating?
He Ming pinched Ji Yan’s chin: Do you want to? Is it because I have not satisfied you enough? En?
Ji Yan: I didn’t…..
He Ming: Adding one more round to today
Yuan Brother: ……..
Are you interested in SM?
Ji Yan: No
He Ming: No
If the other party suddenly does not wish to **, what would you do?
Ji Yan: That’s good, I can finally rest.
He Ming: Seduce him of course.
Yuan Brother: How exactly do you plan to seduce him?
He Ming: After showering, I would deliberately leave my hair half wet and tie the bathrobe a little more loosely or even just cover myself up with a bath towel, the type that would only barely cover my lower half. I would trap him in a small s.p.a.ce and, with my forehead against his, I would tell that with every kiss, I would lower my bath towel down a centimetre.
Imagining the scene, Yuan brother nosebleeds aggressively. Ji Yan laughed and handed over a tissue.
What do you think about forcefully ***?
Ji Yan smiled lightly: He Ming, what do you think about it?
He Ming: …..Pa.s.s!
What was most difficult to do while doing H?
Ji Yan: Sometimes Little Yellow would suddenly barge in
He Ming: But it is more exciting with the door open
Yuan Brother:…….
Until now, where is the most thrilling place you have done H at?
Ji Yan: Does the little grove count?
He Ming: How can outdoor play not count? We’re you afraid that others would notice?
Has the shou taken the initiative to ask for H?
Ji Yan: …..
He Ming: Once, he wore only a white shirt, came over and sat in my lap and said ‘Brother, are you doing it?’
Yuan Brother: That is so f.u.c.king s.e.xy!
And the gong’s reaction at that time was?
Ji Yan: ……
He Ming: Of course I couldn’t possible hold back.
Has the gong forcefully * before?
Ji Yan: …..
He Ming: Why do you always mention this topic? At that time, I wasn’t thinking straight. Wife, I was wrong QAQ
At that time what was the shou’s reaction?
Ji Yan: ……….
He Ming: I’m telling you to shut up!
Yuan Brother made a gesture to keep his mouth shut.
Yuan Brother was forced to change topics
What is your ideal H partner?
Ji Yan: Good face, good body.
He Ming: Ji Yan
Does the other party meet your ideal?
Ji Yan: Everything is good, just that the gender isn’t right.
He Ming: My ideal is based on him.
When doing H, do you use props?
Ji Yan: …….
He Ming: Yes. Cat ears, cat tail and the like. My wife’s cries sound much better than Little Yellow.
How old were you when you had your first time?
Ji Yan: ……18.
He Ming: Yeah.
Is your current partner the same?
Ji Yan: Although I don’t remember the feeling but it is definitely this b.a.s.t.a.r.d
He Ming: It won’t do if it isn’t my wife.
Do you like to kiss?
Ji Yan: ….Like.
He Ming: Yes.
Where do you like to be kissed?
Ji Yan: Clavicle, chest
He Ming: Mouth and that place
Yuan Brother: I am still a child!!
When doing H, what makes the other party most happy?
Ji Yan: When I take the initiative to hold him or kiss him.
He Ming: When I smile and touch his face.
When doing H, what are you thinking of?
Ji Yan: The person on me is He Ming.
He Ming: I must take good care of my baby.
How many times do you do it in one night?
Ji Yan: Two or three times I guess. Sometimes a bit more.
He Ming: After all, we still have cla.s.s.
When doing H, do you take the clothes of yourself or is it removed by the other party?
Ji Yan: Just, for each other.
He Ming: Yeah.
What does H mean to you?
Ji Yan: A spice to life.
He Ming: Emotional catalyst.
100. Good job everyone. Please say something to each other.
Ji Yan: In this life time, I have been bent by you.
He Ming: I will use this life time to show that you have made the right decision.