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"I gotta talk to Gina."
"Sure you do, but you might want to wait on that until you're sober. It's never a good thing to negotiate while drunk."
Trap knocked on Ben's bedroom door, praying Gina wasn't already asleep. When he opened the door, the room was empty and he let out a breath of relief. It would be easier to get out of there if all he had to do was give Gina a heads up.
Turning down the bed, Trap dropped Ben on it. "Off with your boots, Benji." That was about as far as Trap would go. If Ben wanted to get undressed, he was going to d.a.m.n well sober up enough to do it himself, or h.e.l.l, let his wife help him. Speaking of which, he needed to hunt her down.
Trapper turned the light on in the bathroom in case Ben needed to get there quick and noticed the counters were free of all female accoutrements. "Aw, s.h.i.t. She left him." He checked the closet and sure enough, there was an entire section of empty hanging s.p.a.ce. The only thing she'd left was a pair of very small hiking boots. No wonder Ben got s.h.i.t-faced. The one time Trapper had fallen hard and lost, he'd stayed drunk for a month. He wouldn't want to trade places with Ben and he'd done his d.a.m.nedest to avoid it for the last-he calculated the date-almost five years.
He tossed a cover on Ben, set water and aspirin on the bedside table, and closed the door behind him as he left, still wondering what the h.e.l.l had happened.
Gina had never ridden in a big rig before. It was nothing like riding in the back of a taxi; she felt as if she were on top of the world. It was nice except for the country music Buck had playing on the radio.
"You can talk about it if you want. I'm good at keeping secrets. I've been a trucker for a long time and I've heard a lot of stories. Besides, it's gonna be a long drive and there's only so much I can say to the dog."
Gina didn't know what to say, so she kept silent.
"You can confide in me, how else do you think I got my handle? They call me the Reverend-the Right Reverend Wrong."
She searched Buck's face to see if he was serious. He looked it. A week ago, Gina would have trusted her instincts implicitly, they'd never been wrong before. Those instincts saved her life more times than she cared to count. Today though, for the second time, her instincts had failed her. She couldn't trust anything or anyone, not even herself. So even though Buck looked as if he were telling the truth, she didn't know what to believe. She'd been wrong about Ben. Her gaydar had been off and once she'd trusted him and she let her guard down, look where it got her-she was out in the middle of nowhere, driving around in an eighteen-wheeler with a redheaded trucker who wanted to play Dear Abby.
Gina fastened Jasmine's new collar on her skinny little neck, not exactly sure how tight it should be. Jasmine's head was pointy, and Gina was scared to death the collar would slip off and she'd lose her too.
Buck glanced over as he shifted gears. "You're supposed to be able to slip a couple fingers easily under the collar. You don't want to choke the poor thing."
Gina loosened the collar another two notches. Better to lose Jasmine than kill her. Gina had lost everyone she'd ever cared about except Tina and Rosalie. Now that they were both married, they didn't need her anymore. They had their husbands and lives completely separate from hers. Sure Tina and Sam lived in the brownstone, but that was only temporary. What would happen when they bought their own place?
Buck patted the dog's head. "There, I think you've got it."
"Thanks, I feel so inept. I need to buy a Puppies for Dummies Puppies for Dummies book." book."
"I'm sure they have one out there, but I think you'll find that taking care of an animal is easy to pick up."
"Not for me, it's not. I planned to find her a good home as soon as we got back to Boise, but now I love her, you know? I'm probably being selfish, but I can't bear to lose her."
"Gina, if you care enough to worry about it, you're going to be great. Just use common sense and good judgment. I think you have both."
"Ben said the same thing."
Buck smiled. "He's a smart man usually. But he must have really pulled a dumb stunt to get on Kate's bad side. She adores that boy like he was one of her own. Sometimes I think she loves him even more to make up for all he's lost. Did you know Kate and Ben's mama were best friends?"
"No, I didn't, but it makes sense. She's very protective of him."
"After Ben's parents died, Kate adopted him and Big Joe, and, from the looks of it, you too. Yup, Ben must have done something pretty dumb to lose you and p.i.s.s off Kate and Karma in one fell swoop. Pretty dumb indeed."
Gina hugged Jasmine to her and patted her back. "Call it irreconcilable differences."
Buck shook his head. "Nope, there are no such things. All differences can be reconciled with love. The only things that kill love is lack of trust and respect. But then without trust and respect, you can't very well love the other person, now can you?"
"I don't know. I've never been in love."
"But you married Ben."
"Don't I know it. We had our reasons. At the time, it seemed to make sense."
"G.o.d only hears the promises, Gina. You said the words. You promised to love, honor, cherish, and respect Ben in sickness and in health, in good times and in bad."
"Yeah, I know what I did. I'm not proud of it. But I had reasons I think even G.o.d would understand. Besides, Ben was the one who left. He walked out without a word. I just didn't wait to see if he would come back. In my experience, men usually don't."
Gina turned to look out the side window, afraid she'd start crying if Buck wouldn't let it go. The last thing she needed to do was think about Ben Walsh. She just wished she could figure out how not to.
Chapter 15.
Ben rolled over and wondered why he was clothed. He slid toward Gina's side, hoping that snuggling up to her would stop the banging in his head. When he reached the edge of the bed, he realized he was alone. s.h.i.t.
The events of the day came back to him. He groaned as he sat holding his head. The throbbing followed the beating of his heart, which was going double-time. He needed to find Gina.
The blue neon numbers of his clock burned his retinas as he stumbled to the bathroom. The sight of clean counter s.p.a.ce had all the hair on the back of his neck standing at attention. "She probably took one of the guest rooms." Yeah, it would be just like Gina to move out of their room. He splashed water on his face, did his best to brush his teeth without gagging, and wondered if he'd be better off just to throw up all the tequila he'd drunk. Going out and getting trashed had not been the brightest move, but at the time it was all he could come up with.
The nagging doubt had him searching for his wife. He'd definitely hit rock bottom. He wasn't sure what he would say to her when he found her, but whatever it was couldn't make matters any worse than they were. At least he hoped not.
Ben tiptoed down the hall and slipped into the first room. The bed was empty. So were the other three guest rooms. He tried the family room, the game room, the living room, and the office. When that didn't pan out, he went over to Kate's. Maybe Gina had gone over to her place.
"I was wondering how long it would take you to figure out your wife left you." Kate sat at the kitchen table sipping tea.
"What are you still doing up?" Ben sat across from her. The look on her face was the same he'd seen the first day he came home drunk. She was p.i.s.sed.
"I couldn't sleep. Trapper and Karma just left."
Ben didn't bother asking why they'd been there. It was obvious. "Where is Gina? I know she's not at the house."
Kate got up and rinsed out her cup. "She's gone."
Between his fuzzy brain and the pounding in his head, he wasn't sure he'd heard her correctly. "Did you say gone? She's not here? Where could she go? She doesn't drive and it would take an act of G.o.d to get her back on a plane."
"She left. That's all I'm telling you and more than you deserve. What were you thinking when you accused her of stealing that hunk of land? I raised you better than that. You know, you're always complaining about the way your grandfather treats people and now you're no better than him. Go home. I'll talk to you in the morning. I've lost enough sleep over you tonight."
"She's really gone?"
"Yes, get it through that pickled brain of yours. Your wife left you. And the way it looked, she's not interested in ever seeing your face again. I can't say I blame her." Kate wrapped her robe around her and walked out, leaving him in the dark.
Ben pulled his phone off his belt and dialed Gina. It went to voice mail. "Hi, leave a message and maybe I'll call you back."
"Gina, it's Ben. Where are you? Call me. Please."
Ben didn't know what to do. He found himself pacing the dark kitchen trying unsuccessfully to come up with a plan. He always had a plan. Whatever he was going to do, standing in Kate's kitchen wasn't helping matters. He dialed Karma. Maybe she'd be more forthcoming.
"h.e.l.lo?"
"Karma, it's Ben."
"I know who it is."
"Gina's gone and I don't know where she went or how she got there."
"Ah huh. You screwed up big-time."
"Yeah, I know. I need to find her."
"Sorry, Benji. You're not getting any information out of me, so you might as well just go sleep it off."
"Karma, look. You don't understand."
"I was there, Ben. I heard the whole thing thanks to your big mouth. You're lucky you didn't marry me. If I were Gina, you'd be spending the night in the hospital. Where do you get off accusing her of stealing the ranch? As if she would. I warned you, Ben. I told you this whole thing would come back and bite you in the a.s.s."
"Karma, is she over there with you?"
"No, so don't you dare show up on my doorstep. You're the last person I want to see right now."
"You don't mean that."
"Oh don't I? You hurt her, Ben. I said you would, and you didn't listen. Just leave her alone."
When Karma disconnected the call, Ben dialed Trapper.
"Struck out with Mom, huh?"
"Yeah, Trap, Gina's gone, and I don't even know where to start looking for her. Is she there with you?"
Trapper laughed. "No. I might take home a lot of girls, but I steer clear of the married ones."
"You have to help me. I need to find her."
"Sorry, buddy, but you're outta luck. Mom and Karma didn't tell me anything other than Gina left this afternoon, and she took the puppy."
"She can't take a dog on a bus, so how in the h.e.l.l did she leave? She doesn't drive."
"Maybe she flew commercial. I know they put animals in the cargo hold."
Ben shook his head and then groaned from the pain. "There's no way Gina would put Jasmine in a cage where they stow the luggage." Nope. He'd need to check the airport in the morning to see if any of Gramps' planes had filed flight plans.
"I don't know, man. And for once, I'm happy to be in the dark. I'm not about to get in the middle of a family war. Good luck finding your wife."
"Yeah, thanks for all the support."
"Ben, it's not like Mom to side with someone against you. You must have really screwed the pooch this time. I just hope you know how to grovel. It looks like you have a lot of groveling to do in the future if you want to get Gina back. Mom and Karma might calm down eventually. Still, I wouldn't hold my breath if I were you."
"I'm going to New York in the morning. Trap, I'm worried about her."
"Good. But use your head. Mom and Karma wouldn't have let her do anything as stupid as say, what you did."
"Thanks, I feel so much better now."
"Anything I can do to help."
Ben disconnected the call and went back to his room to pack. Gina could be G.o.d knows where, with G.o.d knows who, doing G.o.d knows what. He called her cell again and left a message.
What was she doing with Jasmine? He couldn't believe that Gina took Jasmine and left him.
Now he was the bad guy. He still wasn't sure how that happened. He hadn't said anything that wasn't true, and it wasn't as if she defended herself. If she wasn't guilty of what he accused her of, she would have said something, wouldn't she?
Ben grabbed the bottle of water on his bedside table and downed four aspirin. His head felt as if someone took an ax to it and his stomach was sick. He wasn't sure if it was the tequila talking or fear. He rubbed his bloodshot eyes and tried to get the image of Gina lying dead somewhere out of his mind. Taking a hot shower hadn't even helped.
He paced the house until five A.M. when he called the pilot and told him to get the plane ready to fly to New York. He needed to find Gina.
She should have said something, not that he had exactly been in a listening mood. No, he was too busy leaving to get drunk. He repacked his toiletries and tossed them in his suitcase. She hadn't even left him a note. Nothing. She just packed her bags and disappeared, but not before turning his entire family against him.
Gina sat in her bed at the Motel 8 all night holding Jasmine. She couldn't sleep so she spent the night watching the news-as if she wasn't already depressed enough-and tried not to check her voice mail.
Ben had called seven times since midnight. She'd listened to the messages wishing she had the guts to delete them or at least ignore them. Instead, she listened to them over and over just so she could hear his voice. He went from sounding drunk and p.i.s.sed, to concerned, and then panicked. She told herself he deserved it. After all, it wasn't as if he'd even apologized. Not that it would have changed anything.
Jasmine grumbled when Gina squeezed her too tightly. She told herself she was better off alone. She'd known from the time she was a little girl that she was a relationship pariah. She just wished she hadn't started to believe those things that Ben had said.
Gina wiped the tears from her eyes. She'd never cried over a man before and swore to herself she never would again. Her phone beeped announcing a text message. Of course it was from Ben. "I'm coming to N.Y. Call me."
"Yeah, like that's going to happen." She was at least strong enough to delete the text. It wasn't much, but it was a start.
At six o'clock the alarm she'd set went off-setting it had been a waste of time. She hadn't even put on her nightgown, and wondered if she had the energy to shower. She wouldn't have bothered if she'd been alone, but Buck might notice and she didn't want to look any more pathetic than she already did.
Slipping on her shoes, Gina hooked Jasmine's leash to her collar. "Come on, Jazzie, let's go for a walk." She carried the puppy and didn't set her down until they were outside, a little trick Ben had taught her. d.a.m.n him, she couldn't even walk her dog without thinking about him.
Gina stopped for coffee before going back to the room to feed the puppy and shower. Buck called to make sure she was awake, and offered to put Jasmine in the truck while they ate breakfast. Gina wasn't in the mood to eat. Coffee was the only thing she could stomach, but she knew she'd have to order toast since Buck and Kate were monitoring her food intake.
Kate had called several times before they had even left the state, and was keeping track of their progress. Gina thought they were in Wyoming but it could be Montana; she hadn't paid much attention. All she knew was there were lots of mountains, a huge sky, and she hadn't seen a building taller than a two-story house since they left Boise.
There was a knock on the door. She put Jasmine on her leash and picked up her backpack before opening the door to Buck.
"Are you ready to go?"