How To Be A Good Mortal Father To Your Demon Kids 23 Lucifer, The Life-Coach

The two men stood before the young nanny, their hulking forms shielding him from the dragons roar of orange flames, they remained unscathed but there was a distinct smell of burning fur...

"Is that all you got Honey?!" Lucifer shouted at the great serpent as she whipped around her spiked tail, the poor Pizza delivery guy felt like his life had really gotten out of hand.

Minos raised his hands in a double arm block just as the tail crashed into him, stopping it dead in its tracks, the resounding shock wave shook the entire cavern toppling the poor kid over and after considering his options; he decided not to get up.

"What in father's name is wrong with you? Move!" he barked looking down at the human and poking him with the edge of his sword.

"At this point Sir, I'm just rolling over and accepting my fate..."

"You Idiot, you are under my families payroll! Get up and get out of here! My insurance doesn't cover Satan related injuries!"

"No thanks, I really don't want to see how my situation can get worse, Sir...I have already been sent to h.e.l.l, hunted down by a Minotaur, A Zombie mermaid accosted me, Lucifer himself beat me up and now a dragon is trying to barbecue me, really I do not want to see what else can go wrong, I'd rather stay right here..."
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He said shutting his eyes ignoring the vicious snarls in the background, he sought peace, any peace; inner peace, outer peace... he sought all the peace.

"Oh shut up, I get it your life genuinely sucks, I won't tell you its gonna get better because that's not how it works."

"Its more of a roller-coaster sometimes you're up," He was grabbed by the collar and his half-conscious form thrown into the air, just as a ma.s.sive clawed foot came crashing down on them,

Lucifer jumped after him catching him before Satan could bite him in half, it all felt like a poorly coordinated trapeze act!

" and sometimes you're down," he said dropping him to the floor the second they landed.

The boy's blood pressure was dangerously high and his face had become very pale, in the background Minos was dodging the many rows of shark-like teeth as they snapped at him, maintaining all of Satan's focus while the other two got out of firing range.

"Baa! Just punch her already!" Lucifer bleated impatiently,

"I would if I could get close, help me out here brother!" Minos bellowed as he kept dodging Satan's attacks for a ma.s.sive beast he moved like a dragonfly dodging her claws, teeth and fire with a lot more grace than a bull should have

"Two minutes!" said Lucifer pinching the bridge of his nose,

"Fine!"

Huffing, Lucifer continued;

"Listen boy, sometimes you're gonna climb higher than you ever thought possible only to fall so far it'll scare the h.e.l.l out of you and you really can't control how fast or slow the ride will go but if you get off before it's over, you won't get the chance to get back on."

Lucifer crouched down to the boy's eye level his form becoming more human, reasoning that the kid could actually have a heart attack if he got too close in his goat form,

"Look kid, take it from a guy who's had a lot more lows than most people, falling is a scary thing but since you can't do anything to stop it, make the best of it while you wait for the climb, it'll show up eventually but you have to be there to see it."

Minos grabbed Satan's tail causing an odd image of a ma.s.sive dragon chasing her own tail like a young pup...he had to admit, it was kind of funny...

"Besides, if you think about it, the lows are the most exciting part of a roller-coaster, "

He stood shifting back to his true form, a merciless gleam in his eye as he geared up to join the fight

"Would you hold still already!" Satan hissed biting at her own tail, Minos ducked out of the way leaping onto the wall before launching himself at her grabbing one of her horns he dragged her head down smashing her skull onto the granite earth it felt like all of h.e.l.l shook with the impact but Satan was strong she shook it off her pupils narrowing into slits her forked tongue flicking as she searched for her adversaries,

"Brother, she might destroy your house!" Minos called, most of her focus was still on him.

It occurred to the young lad that Satan wasn't very good at mult.i.tasking.

"Nice! We can crash at your place after all!"

"..." Minos didn't look happy with that idea snorting a cloud of hot air

"What about the nest?" Lucifer waved him off,

"Oh its Satan proof and General Chu is very efficient, she's probably already relocated them by now. leave Minos would be upset if you ended up squashed, plus reviving mortals is a real pain in the neck."

Wasting no more time on the human Lucifer went to his brothers side their combined strength driving the dragon back

Who would have thought Lucifer the lord of h.e.l.l was a caring grandfather and a life coach feeling moved he got up his sore limbs completely ignored,

The nursery wasn't far since he couldn't fight a dragon, he'd help the Zombie Mermaid guard the eggs...he nearly laughed at that sentence.

Yeah, he had fallen past rock bottom straight into h.e.l.l but he had to admit, his life was pretty exciting now.