Yandai Xie Jie No. 10 Chapter 10

Act 10: Trip! 2 Days 1 Night

Liang Ze: h.e.l.lo! Shuaige!

Hang Hang: …

Liang Ze: About to go out?

Hang Hang: Yeah

Liang Ze: This is an old model car

Hang Hang: …

Liang Ze: But I think this cross-country Mitsubishi is very cla.s.sic.

Hang Hang: Thank you.

Liang Ze: Where are you going?

Hang Hang: I don't know, just driving around.

Liang Ze: Oh, getting some fresh air?

Hang Hang: Maybe

Liang Ze: Right, staying in the store all day is tiring, let your body relax for a bit.

Hang Hang: …

Liang Ze: Going by yourself?

Hang Hang: Uh.

Liang Ze: Oh…I want to go too. Wait for me for ten minutes.

(Hang Hang watched Liang Ze as he ran quickly into the store. He did not understand why he had to wait ten minutes for him. 10 minutes later…)

Liang Ze: I see that Small Leaf and the baby, even X-chinchilla, are very energetic today!

Hang Hang: You…why did you get in the car?

Liang Ze: I'm going with you! I've been burning my brain cells recently. It's time to get some fresh air! It has been so long since we last hung out!

Hang Hang: …What?

Liang Ze: No need feel grateful to me. Ha ha ha, we're friends!

Hang Hang: …

Hang Hang was feeling depressed. Throughout the drive he was very depressed; looking at the cars moving at at a snail's pace on the highway was even more depressing.

This Idiot! He's too persistent, getting in the car to go with him and now talking non-stop all the way.

I need to get some fresh air because I'm depressed, and the cause of my depression is you, little rascal! Great, you follow me and just jump into my car babbling away in a such good mood. Are you trying to torment me to death?

Everything happened so suddenly. Hang Hang vaguely remembered Liang Ze suddenly appearing, standing next to his car and talking to him, saying that he wanted to get fresh air together, saying that a Mitsubishi Jeep is very cla.s.sic, saying to wait for him a bit, and then…he got in the car =.=

Mitsubishi Jeep

They both were wearing thick layers of clothing. Because Liang Ze lit up a cigarette, Hang Hang rolled down the window, and the cold wind howled into the car making them both shiver.

"The weather today is not so bad!" Liang Ze sat in the pa.s.senger seat and lazily leaned against the window to get some morning sun.

"Uh, not so bad," Hang Hang coldly said. His heart began to somersault his chest. He had decided against conversing with the other man. He wanted to give himself some s.p.a.ce to think clearly as he did not want this Idiot to come back into his life again. But it seemed as if G.o.d hates him: this situation is like a restraining order!

Liang Ze smoked his cigarette as he gently sang a song:

"An ordinary Sunday afternoon,
Wandering on the street with no destination,
Next to me is an old friend,
Whose innocent nature has changed little with time,
For many the facts of life are already different,
I actually do not think much about the past,
there is no need to talk much about this truth.

I'm glad to walk beside you,
A friend in this world who allows you to behave naturally,
Even if we are not walking on the same path,
Without an explanation,
We know exactly what the other thinks,
Talking about your work,
If you'd rather not, don't force yourself to laugh,
Just talking over old relationships,
I always slightly lacked a sense of humor…

A friend in this world who allows you to behave naturally,
Even if we walk in different directions,
Without an explanation,
We know exactly what the other thinks,
Our time together is always so short,
It's normal to lose contact with each other,
You may have never known,
You once let me have such warm feeling…"

{Proofread Note: There is a Friend 有一种朋友, composed & performed by Chet Lam on his 2007 alb.u.m, Best Life 思 生活 .  Chet Lam is an openly gay Hong Kong singer/composer whose style is described as "city folk." The subtext is that the singer is gay and his friend is straight, but with a good friend he can "act naturally, even if we walk in different directions." It's so ironic that this is the song with which  LZ serenades HH.  He is so clueless!!!!!  (^^;)}

Hang Hang glanced sideways at Liang Ze. Liang Ze sat up straight and giggled, "It sounds good!"

"Ah…uh, very good. You have a nice voice."

"Then, let's go to KTV!" [T/N: KTV – karaoke]

"Give it a little sunshine and it sparkles." Hang Hang smiled.
[T/N: Chinese idiom – meaning that he already felt boastful after a compliment.]

"Eh! You think that I'm joking! When I heard this song on the radio that day, I felt.… how do I say this, very good.  The lyrics are really good, and the wording is simple: you're my good friend, and whether you are next to me or not, I always feel that you're by my side."

"Oh?"

"I looked for this song like a madman that day. When I found it, I downloaded right away so I could sing along. I even bought the alb.u.m. It's really nice~~!"

"Ha ha…"

"What're you laughing at! Even though it was a bit weird, I'm especially pleased to meet a friend like you."

The first half of the sentence made Hang Hang feel uneasy, but the "friend" word in the second half of the sentence…was provocative.

"Shuaige!"

"What?"

"Are you having a stroke?"

"Huh?"

"Your facial expression seems a bit…strange?"

"…"

Hang Hang got angry. How could he take a fancy to such a person? It was better that he (Liang Ze) stop talking. At any rate, he supposed that if he hadn't been s.p.a.cing out like that, then the guy wouldn't have made a blunt comment like that =.=

If you like someone, you just like them.

Hang Hang suddenly felt hopeless. He thought he could get rid of this trouble, but now it seemed…purely an admission of guilt. He was unable to find a way out: he couldn't advance, and he couldn't retreat. When he tried to move forward, he found the way blocked by Laing Ze.  When he tried to step back, he found he had burned his own bridges.

This was a waste, right?

"Hey, Shuaige, you're not having fun?" Liang Ze looked at Hang Hang.

"Ah?" Hang Hang looked straight ahead. He had to focus on the road.

"Actually, I do know…the reason you're not happy!"

"Eh? Tell me." Hang Hang was curious to know what this Idiot had realized, could this Idiot be enlightened?

"You see, before I came, you were in a good mood; before I got into the car, you were ok; but when I got in the car and said I wanted to tag along, you got all gloomy…then that means I was the reason for your foul mood."

Ah, that somehow was right!

"To a.n.a.lyze it further, how did I put you in a foul mood?"

Hang Hang had turned to look at Liang Ze, even daring to have a bit of hope, but after hearing his conclusion he was completely disappointed with this guy =.=

"Because I've increased your expenses!" Liang Ze laughed out loud. "The pet store is like a charity. You must not have earned much from it, but don't worry! I'll take care of all the expenses on this trip. Feel better!"

If they weren’t on the highway, Hang Hang bet that he would have kicked Liang Ze out of his car!

With this kind of person, having any expectations at all should be considered nothing short of self-torture!!

"Well, now you can rest a.s.sured~~hi hi, just think of where you want to go!"

"I. Don't. Want. To. Go." Hang Hang gritted out each word.

"How is it that you're still unhappy?" Liang Ze rubbed his chin. "I didn't…" He thought back to a few days ago, when Hang Hang hung up that call on him. What did they talk about last time? Oh, right, he was showing off about a woman…uh, he hung up on him not because he was busy? Maybe he had provoked him, and that caused it? This…this was not so productive…men are all the same, hating to have their manhood crushed.

"You didn't what?" Hang Hang had abandoned all hope.

"I didn't mean to provoke you last time," Liang Ze said, honestly.

Hang Hang still could not understand. He knew that this Idiot's thinking harboured nothing good. "Provoke?"

"Ah! You're a very awesome man, very gentle, very handsome, and very caring! A perfect man!"

After hearing that, Hang Hang looked at the road in front of him as he heaved out a deep sigh. f.u.c.k it, this Idiot was playing him! Chemistry experiments have demonstrated that an alcohol lamp can be ignited and extinguished in an instant.

"Oh, Shuaige! Shuaige!"

"Why are you shouting?"

"Shuaige, let's go to to the hot spring!" Liang Ze pointed at a large billboard along the road — in one kilometer, Welcome to Leisure City Hot Spring.

Leisure City Hot Spring

"…"

"The weather today is a bit cold, so let's go to the hot spring! We can play some billiards, too!”

Hang Hang thought about it for a bit. Whatever he did, this guy would come too. f.u.c.k IT!

Hang Hang drove the car in the direction of the hot spring. When they were near the entrance, he suddenly heard the sentence: "The hot spring is amazing! I really want to see what you look like undressed!"

***

"Strip!" Liang Ze quickly took off his clothes and changed into his swim trunks so quickly that it made Hang Hang freeze on the spot; in short…he did not see anything; he just stood there.

Faced with a pair of piercing eyes…Hang Hang felt like collapsing, "Why do you want to see me undressed?"

"I must see it. I really want to see it."

"…"

Hang Hang glanced swiftly around the locker room. Many people had started to give them suspicious looks.

"Liang Ze…"

"Yeah?"

"Be more cautious…"

"What?"

Hang Hang came closer to Liang Ze and whispered in his ear, "Don't you notice other people are staring at us?"

"So what?"

"Lower your voice."

"Oh."

"Your words and actions…are not logical."

"What do you mean?"

"Don't you notice the way other people have been staring at us?"

"I do. I also wonder why they're staring at us. Is it because we're too handsome?"

"I give up."

"Eh…what?"

"You words…eh…probably give them the idea that we're in an inappropriate relationship."

"Huh? What do you mean by inappropriate relationship? I've never made a girl undress."

"…Just don't say anything, thank you."

"Then, hurry and undress, I want to see!" Liang Ze had hooked his arm around Hang Hang's neck naturally, and then came closer to Hang Hang's earlobe as he whispered that sentence.

There was only one sentence running through Hang Hang's mind: Forget it, I really can't escape this…

It was very provocative=.=

The result was that Hang Hang kicked Liang Ze out of the locker room and made him wait in the pool. But after kicking Liang Ze out, the real embarra.s.sment began. Other men in the locker room stared at him as if looking at a monster, and worse, some were even sneering at him. Hang Hang had never felt so wronged in his life as now. It was like saying one hadn't eaten the fish while the fishy smell lingered all over the body!* He admitted that he had had inappropriate relationships with men before, but the key point was…it had not been with Liang Ze! As a result…in his entire life this was the one and only time that he had been looked down on, and it was all because of that Idiot!
[T/N: Chinese idiom – means you have done something but you did not cover it well; so everyone knows about it]

Liang Ze, I'll beat you to h.e.l.l! — Hang Hang was blinded by his anger…

After he changed into his swimming trunks, Hang Hang went out to look for Liang Ze. There were many ponds there in different sizes, and he didn't know which one that Idiot was in.

Dazzling banners announced names such as: Mermaid Pond, Medicated* Pond, Ma.s.sage Pond…and so on and so forth.
[T/N: Medicated Pond – is pond with herbal medicine that one can put into the pond to dip oneself in, quite relaxing ^^]

During the weekends, many people visited the hot spring.  There were men and women all over the place.

Where's Liang Ze?

Looking around for quite some time, Hang Hang suddenly spotted someone diving into the water of the Mermaid Pond. It must be Liang Ze; who besides him would do that.

Liang Ze also saw Hang Hang. "Shuaige! Over here!"

This one shout was very loud! Originally, the people here were just secretly checking him (Hang Hang) out, but now they could openly stare at him. Especially the young girls with their hot gazes.

"I beg you Da Ye*, lower your decibel level." Hang Hang walked over to the pool and got in, leaning against the pool wall. Originally he did not want to relax, but now he had no choice.
[T/N: Da Ye – It's a way to call someone that you're annoyed at, a name calling that does not mean to degrade anyone, like when you said "shut up, princess" to your friend or something like that]

"What now?"

"You keep calling 'Shuaige, Shuaige'…"

"But you're really handsome, even more handsome than me!"

"For future reference, just praise yourself.  It's enough."

"…"

"Anyway, why did you dive in earlier? This is not a swimming pool."

"Looking for mermaids! They f.u.c.king lied to us; there aren't any here!"

"Kill me now." Hang Hang was now faced with despair for his life.

"Huh?"

"…"

"Ah, right. All that noise was to try to find mermaids. I forgot."

"Ah?"

"Oh, float on your back a little." Liang Ze pushed Hang Hang.  

"For what?"

"Just hurry!"

Hang Hang reluctantly propped up his body.

"Just as I thought!" Liang Ze suddenly pushed his big hand, "bam," against Hang Hang's abs. "I think you have such beautiful body."

"…This is the reason you kept on telling me to undress?"

"That's right! I've been observing for a long time. I believed that under those clothes was a very well-built body, but I didn't expect it to be this good! This is really unfair! I sit in front of my laptop typing ma.n.u.scripts every day. You also sit in front of your messenger everyday. At least I go to gym everyday, but I don't see you move even an inch. Yet you don't have even an ounce of extra fat!"

"So you're jealous. That's natural"

"I told you G.o.d is blind!" Liang Ze was close to tears.

They both felt into a short silence, and Hang Hang let himself relax a bit. His eyes had just closed when he was suddenly awakened by Liang Ze's voice, "Oi, Shuaige! Open your eyes! That girl is hot!"

Hang Hang clenched his hands into a fist under the water.

Liang Ze was very considerate of Hang Hang — such a beauty appearing before them, it would be a total waste of their youth if they didn't look at her!

"Open your eyes!"

Hang Hang wanted to shut him up, so he opened his eyes helplessly. It was a very beautiful girl.

"What you think?"

Hang Hang shook his head.

"So this is not your type. Oh, how about that one? Over there!"

"…"

"Do you like the cuddly type? That's a bit difficult. Let me look around to find one for you."

"…"

"There, there, Shuaige, wake up! That one is cute!"

"Can you not be so outrageous?"

"I…" Liang Ze choked on his words.

Hang Hang looked at Liang Ze, completely hopeless with no enlightenment.  It was even more frustrating to see more beautiful girls coming to Mermaid Pond.  It made perfect sense since Liang Ze himself was a stud, and it was just a fling…how he could not flirt?

As expected, all the girls came over to their spot and started to chat with him. Hang Hang never thought of Liang Ze as a Casanova, but… when he (Liang Ze) kept on pestering a beauty with his pick-up lines, Hang Hang just wanted to go over and smack him in the face! Shameless!

In the midst of the conversation…of the flirting, Liang Ze looked back at Hang Hang, but he was not there.  

"Your friend left a while ago," one girl told Liang Ze.

"f.u.c.k!" Liang Ze got out of the pond.

The shower door was not too high, so Liang Ze immediately spotted Hang Hang when he rushed back.

"You, Da Ye!" He pulled open the shower door, standing in front of Hang Hang.

Hang Hang was shampooing his hair when he was startled by Liang Ze. What scared him even more was — Liang Ze suddenly, swiftly took off his swimming trunks and stood completely naked under the shower head together with him.  He  mumbled, "What is with you! We're buddies! Seeing you walking around aimlessly, I thought you're interest in some ripe young things. I was trying to start some sparks flying for you, and here you up and disappear just like that!"

Liang Ze stretched out his hand to grab the shampoo, rubbing it on his hair as he continued his rant.

Hang Hang's ears had already lost their real function as he stood there motionless staring at Liang Ze. He always complains that his abs are not perfect, but in fact, they're in really good shape. Slender long body, skeletal frame is wide, and very muscular. As his eyes traveled downward, it was inevitable to get a full view of … his p.u.b.es =.=

"f.u.c.king h.e.l.l! Say something!" Liang Ze did not notice anything, and turned to rub on Hang Hang's hair.

If they were not in public, Hang Hang swore that — he would have pushed this Idiot down already!

"You tell me why you embarra.s.sed me like that! Argh, You, You! You like what kind of girl!"

"Do you really want me to have a girlfriend?" Hang Hang palmed his face, trying to cool himself down.

"Ah…Not really. Actually I don't want you to, ha ha…"

"Then why are you rushing me?"

"I don't know…argh, I don't want you to have a girlfriend. Think about it, if you have a girlfriend, then you can't stay single with me until we're old. But…I don't want to drag you down into this solitary life."

Everyone needs an opportunity. Hang Hang saw his opportunity had arrived. "Liang Ze, I don't like women." Then just go with the flow, maybe…

"Ah?" Liang Ze's body was covered in foam. "Ah! f.u.c.k!" He suddenly grabbed Hang Hang's shoulders.

Say it, say it…Hang Hang prayed.

"Ah, I'm so stupid." Liang Ze tightened his grip. "How I did not figure it out! It was so obvious!"

"Uh." Hang Hang nodded his head, wondering whether kissing him shouldn't be the next step.

"You must have been hurt by women too! Very painful! Now that I think about it, I told you about my love affairs, but you never once comforted me. When I had 419 with a woman, you even told her to have a good rest. I pointed at this girl and that girl, and you're not interested in any!"

Can I punch him?

Hang Hang did not know who he was asking.

"Shuaige! I really, really like you!" Liang Ze moved forward and hugged Hang Hang, "Let's live a solitary life together until the end of our times!"

Hang Hang, while being hugged by Liang Ze, looked over toward the entrance, and unfortunately one of the men from earlier in the locker room that were giving them weird looks — frowned at them fiercely! Great, and he thinks this is normal!

In the evening, they played billiards. The score was 5:4, Hang Hang winning against Liang Ze. Dinner was eaten at the village resort to sample the rural flavor. After dinner, they went bowling, and it was Liang Ze's victory with ten innings. Hang Hang was not good at this, so he missed every time. As time went on, it was already ten o'clock at night, and they both were tired. They had booked only one room. Liang Ze said it was to save money! Plus they could chat throughout the night. Hang Hang opposed such an idea at first, but it was useless.

Once they entered their room, Liang Ze immediately collapsed on the bed. "Shuaige, I'm so exhausted!"

"Inject some chicken blood*?" Hang Hang frowned.

[T/N: Chicken-blood therapy – The therapy consisted mainly of simply drawing blood from a rooster and injecting into the patient. Claimed benefits included making the patient highly aggressive and strong. This was a popular practise in China during Cultural Revolution of 1960s, until today it's also being wisely used *dies* of course, the rooster must be checked first before its blood is being drawn, but who knows T.T]

"Ha ha ha…" Liang Ze laughed as he smoked a cigarette. "I had fun today! Shuaige! Knowing you is the best thing that ever happened to me, even for the rest of my life!"

"…"

Before falling asleep, Hang Hang finally figured out the real problem — was not this Idiot's drastic reactions. Rather, he was absolutely sure that this Idiot did not understand there are people in this world who like the same s.e.x. Glancing over at the sleeping disaster called Liang Ze next to him, he could only smile bitterly.

The suffering did not end there. Hang Hang had insomnia that night, and then starting early the next morning he was bombarded by Liang Ze's insensitive enthusiasm. First it was "Shuaige, my beard grows so fast, touch it, it's so scratchy, lend me your razor." After that, "Shuaige, your hair is so soft, mine is very rough," and he started to play with it. Then, "Shuaige, I need to pee, it's nothing, go ahead and wash your face"…and so on and so forth. Hang Hang was positive that, within that short moment, he was so close to losing himself =.=    

Proofread: Evie