Paw In Paw, Let's Satisfy Our Desire For Dogs Chapter 1

Translator: Kyo576
Editor: Mel, KerBear

New story! Will only do a few chapters as a teaser though, this one's too hard. Please help me decide on an english t.i.tle for this story! Original t.i.tle: 狗男男/一起来吸狗

01

Despite being in the entertainment industry for ten years, I still can't seem to have that explosive popularity others are fortunate enough to receive. It's hard to imagine what that would be like. It seems that my fate is to remain as a C-list celebrity.

Be that as it may, I've already accepted defeat. For now, I'll gladly accept any role that comes my way; be it a small part in a variety show, as an extra to fill up numbers or even just to keep up appearances. Whenever my schedule is open I'll spend my free time holed up at home, playing games, eating, drinking and sleeping through the day. In fact, I'm quite content with my little life, I won't starve anytime soon.

At the beginning of March this year, an online variety show took the initiative and reached out to me to be a part of some survival reality show. This type of show undoubtedly puts the cast through some serious ordeals. They didn't manage to contact big-time celebrities and had to settle for easier celebrities, like me, to be their show's permanent guest.

I'm usually quite idle when it comes to what roles I play. I mostly just play supporting roles where I'm only in a single episode or appear briefly as a guest actor. At the time the variety show reached out to me, my manager had all but given up on me, his att.i.tude towards me was very unpleasant. The moment they realised that someone invited me, and that a chance to earn money had appeared, my manager immediately arranged my schedule.

Since then, I barely even slept or ate. Whenever I did sleep it was outdoors and whenever I ate, I had to make do with a deep breath of air. Most days I spent shuffling through the wild, mountainous forests accompanied by mosquitos. I lived that way for five months and have long since wasted away. I've lost a sizeable amount of weight and most of my old clothes hang loosely off of me, I'm almost like a starving dog.

I slept during the return flight home. When I woke up, I did what I usually do and habitually scrolled through Weibo. Only then did I find out that one of todays' hottest search topics was——

【Yin Huaimu and Tai Jin, Husband and Husband's 'Seven Year Itch', Suspecting Divorce!】

(Yin Huaimu (尹怀牧), Tai Jin (泰瑾))

My eyes instantly became wide open!

After several seconds of trying to comprehend what I was reading, I somehow managed to force my trembling hand to tap on one of the related event topics. I went numb as I read through the endless articles of explosive news.

Because I'm one of the parties involved, Tai Jin.

02

I never thought that after seven years, I would once again be among the top searches.

Actually, this is all because of Yin Huaimu. It seems that he's always the focus of everyone's attention.

When the news was still fresh, the entire Weibo platform was just about ready to collapse. It was bombarded by the netizens displaying every conceivable type of 'Wo Cao', brushed through countless numbers of 'Aahhh's' and exclamation marks. However, the current level of shock is a far cry from back then when Yin Huaimu and I declared our love for each other and immediately after announced our marriage.

(wo cao is basically just internet slang for f*ck, I'll be using that instead of the english version, because I might actually use f*ck for non-'wo cao' instances)

This is undoubtedly the largest (scandal/scoop/event) in recent weeks within the entertainment industry. Most likely, when the entertainment circle looks back and discuss major events of the past year at the end of the year, Yin Huaimu and I will be among the top three.

The marketing (?) big V's (营销大V) that leaked the news said that Yin Huaimu and I are married in name only, that the love we once held for each other has long since disappeared. Not only that, but they also collected a lot of information about our personal lives. Our schedules, how we dress, what we eat, where we stay and even our interactions both online and offline. And, all of that information was organised chronologically and listed in a way to attack us.
(big V's usually refer to VIP accounts on Weibo, if readers know what 营销大V actually means ;-;)

They didn't stop there, they even managed to take several photographs. I wasn't in any of them but Yi Huaimu sure was; Yin Huaimu and his newest, most recent work colleague and partner, Dong Keye.

My heart unexpectedly chilled.

Who is Dong Keye?

I'm very clear that he just turned 20 this year and belongs to the same agency as Yin Huaimu; he could be considered as Yin Huaimu's junior. Not to mention his skin is beautifully pale and his face is very attractive. When he smiles, his eyebrows curve nicely and two dimples appear and accentuate his already attractive face. He's currently the hottest 'piece of fresh meat' that everyone is chasing after.

Don't even mention his resources that are so good that others become green with envy, and the spokesperson offers he receives are all from big brand names from overseas. His popularity alone would leave me in the dust, add his fans to the equation and I'd be several more streets behind. If I were Da Bao then he would be SKII and La Mer; simply incomparable.

(Da Bao, SKII, and LAMER are skincare brands, I believe Da Bao is just a small local brand, unlike SKII and LaMer, and thus worse than the others.)

But honestly speaking, Dong Keye's countenance actually looks a bit like me when I was younger. I must say, how wonderful it is to be young.

Quite unlike the current me who has three fears: The fear of being poor, fear of getting fat and fear of going bald

03

The netizens debated heatedly for the reason for our divorce. For example, some speculated that we had spent too much time apart, or maybe one of us had an affair and even have an illegitimate child with some woman.

The debates are in full swing and the gossiping spirits of the tabloids are burning. There are many among the netizens with creative and wild imaginations, and there were also those with guesses that almost made me laugh out loud, the bitter 'heh heh' type of laughter.

However, one thing each speculation had in common was the fact that I was always the one in the wrong. Everyone's hearts all gathered towards Yin Huaimu.

After all, I'm nowhere near as successful or attractive as Yin Huaimu, I'm just a C-List celebrity with a lot of bad PR and many alleged scandals.

Yin Huaimu is an existence that has both face value and ability, and has countless King of The Silver Screen and other types of awards under his belt.

Back in the day, Yin Huaimu was gentle, elegant and graceful. He was the white moonlight in the heart of countless fans; their cinnabar mole. Of course, I was one of his innumerous fans.

He was like a Snow Lotus, something that could only be admired from a distance and never be touched. Meanwhile, seven years ago I was just an unknown actor, a n.o.body. Even if I humbled myself to dust, no flower would grow. I'd just be scattered into the wind.

The moment we came out of the closet, especially when we announced our marriage, I was instantly drowned in hate messages.

The dream lover of millions of young men and women had been stolen away by me. Only a handful of people blessed our marriage and sent their goodwill, while the rest sent endless torrents of hate messages and envious rants. Many said that I must have saved the earth, the Milky Way and the cosmos in my past life to be this lucky. Others outright insulted me and gave me vicious t.i.tles like 'Flirtatious s.l.u.t', 'White Lotus' and simply 'Vicious Person'.

If I blinked, then I would be sending amorous glances at Yin Huaimu. If I smiled, they'd say that there were hidden daggers behind it. If I lifted a hand or bent over slightly, then I would be stroking myself coquettishly. Opening my mouth to speak? That's even worse. They'd say that I was selling meng or throwing a tantrum, full of fanciful words, honey mouthed but dagger hearted. They basically had nothing good to say.

Regardless of anything that happened, it would be mine, Tai Jin's fault; I, the smelly and shameless one that seduced Yin Huaimu with deceitful and unscrupulous methods.

Other's had enough scandalous material to build a tower with a few tens of floors before they pretty much surrender. My scandalous material was more than enough to build skysc.r.a.per after skysc.r.a.per until ultimately, it finally created a large CBD!

(CBD as in Central Business District, not the drug (or so I was told) okay?)

Those black fans had put in so much effort, I really wanted to give them a round of applause!

04

At that point in time, my body and soul had become exhausted. Not willing to invite any more scandals for my Male G.o.d and dragging him down from his pedestal. I contemplated quitting the entertainment industry.

Yet Yin Huaimu had said, "If you want to quit then we'll quit together. No matter what, I will definitely marry you!"

Of course I was touched!

Back then I was so moved that I'd become a mess. If I were a lady, I'd prepared to throw myself into my Male G.o.ds arms and cry.

Seeing how gentle and thoughtful my Male G.o.d was, I resolved myself to marry him.

Yin Huaimu and I first met when we were 16. He had been physically drained from dance practice and I pa.s.sed him a gla.s.s of water. When we were 18, we both debuted right after one another. Even though we were the same age, I was still considered his senior and always took care of him. But afterwards, he simply became more and more popular and eventually gained top tier resources.

When we were 22 years old, we officially had our wedding. At present we're both 29 years old. Originally, I'd planned to live out the rest of our lives together lovingly, unfortunately, we were unable to avoid the 'Seven Year Itch'.

I was rushing back today because I planned to celebrate our seventh anniversary with Yin Huaimu. Now things were great. The news that covered the skies and spread like wildfire was that of our impending divorce.

To others, the 'Cheap s.l.u.t' that seduced Yin Huaimu and dominated their Male G.o.d for seven years has finally cooled down.

05

News travelled fast nowadays. Whenever something explosive like this appeared, major entertainment platforms hurriedly sent out their own version of the news, afraid that the world wouldn't know about it fast enough.

My a.s.sistant Xiao Xiao naturally came across the news as well. He originally wanted to stop me, but he was too late.

(Xiao Xiao as in Little Xiao (小萧), willing to be changed to using 'Little' in the future for everyone if readers prefer it)

Seeing me stunned on the spot, unmoving, unblinking and unable to look away from my phone's screen, Xiao Xiao had an incomparably sympathetic and pitiful expression. It seemed as though he was itching to give me a hug full of warmth and love.

Because my manager, Ling-ge (凌), was always irritated, he called me to rave, "What is all this nonsense! Tai Jin what the f*ck have you been doing? You don't want to stay in the industry anymore, is that it?"

(Ling-ge = Brother Ling)

I've been scolded by him many times over the years. The worse case was seven years ago when he hurled countless curses at me, making me wonder about my purpose in life. It seems that today we'll be breaking the record of that moment.

Ling-ge is over 40 years old, not young at all. I'm scared that he might anger himself into getting a heart attack.

I didn't dare respond and merely hung up once Ling-ge was done. I spoke to Xiao Xiao and said that he could finish early today and that he should go home by himself first.

Xiao Xiao was hesitant, his expression showing concern for me, "Jin-ge, you really don't want me to accompany you home?"

I shook my head halfheartedly and replied with a tepid expression, "En".

Because I was a permanent guest on the survival show, I followed the production crew as they flew from set to set and haven't been home in over five months.

When I reached home, it was completely devoid of life. The Housekeeper Auntie was nowhere to be seen, let alone Yin Huaimu who was busy doing G.o.d knows what.

Something so life-changing was happening but Yin Huaimu hadn't called me once. I gripped my cell phone tightly, the brash thought to call him briefly crossed my mind, but I glanced towards my wedding ring and barely managed to hold myself back.

I stared silently at my phone, my mind was blank. Right now, all I wished was for Yin Huaimu to return home.

Sometime past 8pm, I heard the door open slightly. Finally. I managed to wait for him.

06
"Huaimu…" I opened my mouth to call him over, my throat was a little dry. I realise that it's been too long since I called for him like this, I'm actually a little unused to it.

Seven years ago, I usually just called him by his name and acted like we were friends, treating him like a brother on the surface. In private, however, I always took him to be my Male G.o.d, secretly crushing on him.

After marriage, Yin Huaimu kept saying I was his treasure, his darling, his wife. He even let me call him 'Husband'.

Seeing that there was something off with Yin Huaimu's expression, I immediately changed the way I called him, "Husband."

He smiled when he heard me say that, as if the rumours about our divorce were non-existent. He came over to gently take my hand in his and spoke, "Today is our wedding anniversary. Why don't we go back to that restaurant, I've already made reservations."

Since he'd already organised things, I nodded my head and followed him.

That eastern restaurant was where Yin Huaimu had proposed to me back then. After that, whenever it was our wedding anniversary, the two of us would always go back there to have dinner.

Yin Huaimu personally drove the car for me without calling for the chauffeur. The trip there was quiet and uneventful. Something so major had occurred, but he didn't say a thing. Yet here I was, sitting shotgun, and all the while I was looking at his wedding ring, too anxious to ask anything.

When we were about to reach the restaurant, he finally spoke up, "Xiao Jin, I want to be honest with you about something."

I felt my heart clench tightly.

What does he want to say?

Don't tell me that he's really prepared to divorce me? Was today going to be my last meal with him as well?

My heart was apprehensive as I waited for Yin Huaimu to continue. Who knew that the thread of discussion would suddenly take a turn and he asked me instead, "Do you have something you're hiding from me too? Xiao Jin."

Me: …

What does that mean?!

I started having second thoughts and my heart was about to jump out of my chest!

Oh no! Did he manage to find out the secret that I've kept for so many years?

I suddenly thought of the actual reason that he would want to divorce me, it's because I'm not…

My heart trembled, and I became unable to meet his eyes momentarily. Lowering my head, I say with an apologetic expression, "I'm…I'm sorry, I didn't mean to lie to you, I'm really…"

Yin Huaimu interrupted me by saying, "Xiao Jin, actually, I've also lied to you."

Me: ??!

In modern TV dramas and novels, there would always be a cla.s.sic dog blood episode, and that's the car accident.

But sometimes, reality was even more dog blood. Yin Huaimu and I's thoughts were different, but we planned to be honest with each other and admit our faults. Unfortunately, a car crashed into us as were crossing an intersection.

(Examples of something dog blood would be: finding out that this person who married into your family is your long lost child, your lover who left you was actually pregnant with your child, etc etc)

(Here's a link (content in chinese, but there's english caption) of clips of dogblood scenes: (watch on for more but to summarize, turns out that long lost daughter isn't the long lost daughter, the daughter in law was the actual long lost daughter, the second son married to the daughter in law actually isn't the real second son, and that the father has a terminal illness and due to die in a year))

The car flipped from the powerful impact. As we were rolling I felt Yin Huaimu take me into his embrace, shielding me from the crash. The second before I lost my consciousness and my vision turned dark, I could see that his forehead was bleeding.

07

After I regained consciousness in the hospital, I could already feel that there was some strange feeling on the bottom half of my body…

I moved my hand to feel what it might be and felt something furry. Lowering my head I could see orange coloured fur.

Wo Cao!!!

Why is my tail suddenly out in the open/Why did my tail suddenly pop out?!!

Author has something to say:
Mind-boggling comedy fluff story!
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