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Out of all the things I had planned to do over the holiday, I didn't expect to be doing this.
Ethan had called me at the super early time of 10AM and forced me out of bed and made me run down to his house.
I was expecting something extremely bad, I thought maybe he had finally snapped and killed his sister but what I was in for was much worse.
When I arrived, his house was empty, even the street was. There were no animals, it was like being in a zombie apocalypse. The only people in a 5-mile radius had to have been just Ethan and Sean, who was also here.
"So. Owen. Sean and I need your help."
"What with?" I didn't really want to help them, I wanted to be sleeping and I'm still not even fully awake.
"We kinda have this thing coming up and we have to sing in it."
"Well, I don't know what this 'thing' is but I'm glad I'm not involved. Good day gentlemen!"
"WAIT, PLEASE DON'T LEAVE!" Ethan begged.
"Errrr, I don't really want to help you two learn how to sing. It sounds like a lot of effort, and how do you know that I can teach you?"
"Because you do Music, and Ruby sings? Has she not tried to serenade you with one of her love songs?"
Ah, I see. today is the day I finally kill him. dear G.o.d, please help guide him to the after live.
"What Ethan means" Sean's go at convincing me. "Because you study Music, perhaps you have picked up some ways to teach us from watching others be taught?"
"Tsk." It's a sad day when Sean is the smartest one in the room.
"Very well. Let's hear what you got then."
"Perfect! Ready Sean? One, Two and a One, Two, Three Four-"
Huh? What just happened? I can see their mouths moving but I can't hear anything.
...
Ah, I see. Today is the day I die. dear G.o.d, why did you grace me with such a painful death?
"STOP STOP STOP!"
I had to stop their singing before I crossed over.
"WHY ARE YOU SINGING LIKE THAT? HAVE YOU EVER SEEN SOMEONE SING BEFORE? SEAN, WHY DO YOU SOUND LIKE YOU'RE TRYING TO SUMMON AN ANCIENT G.o.d??????
AND ETHAN, WHAT WAS WITH THE MOANING? DO YOU ENJOY SINGING THAT MUCH? YOU CAN'T JUST RANDOMLY ADD MOANS AND GROANS AND HOPE IT SOUNDS GOOD?
THERE IS NO WAY I CAN SAVE YOU TWO! YOU ARE A LOST CAUSE!"
"Dude why are you shouting?" Ethan asked.
"I GUESS YOU'RE SINGING HAS MADE ME DEAF!"
After a while, my hearing returned and I could hear their annoying voices again attempting to beg me to stay.
"Hmpf, I guess I'll give you guys one more attempt." I pulled out my phone and loaded a little piano app that I installed a while ago.
"I'm going to play a note and you two have to match it, ok?"
"Got it, boss!" Sean was eager and ready to learn
"Yeah, whatever." Ethan on the other hand clearly wanted me to become a criminal.
"OK. Let's start with middle C."
"AH" Sean's attempt was pretty close, a little loud but still, he can improve.
"OHHHHHHHH"
"WHAT THE h.e.l.l WAS THAT, ETHAN? I PLAYED MIDDLE C NOT THE LOWEST SOUND IMAGINABLE?"
"Sorry, Sorry. Try again I'm ready this time."
"Ok. We'll try something an octave above."
"Ahh." d.a.m.n, Sean is improving quickly, he has a talent for this.
"OHHHHH"
"YOU'RE STILL TO LOW! -WACK-"
"Ow! Why did you throw your phone at me? That really hurt, you know?"
Seriously this kid, when he sings his body is like a rock, he may as well a statue or a cartoon character with only two frames of animation for the mouth, he just sucks.
"Well, looks like you broke my phone on your dense head. I'm going to have to get a new one now.
Let's try one last time. at least get it in the right key this time, Ethan?
Can you do that? Am I asking too much?"
"I shall try my best."
Okay. Let's try again.
# # #
I don't know how long we were practising for, I know that I arrived at 10AM but every time they tried to sing together I kept pa.s.sing out, the amount of energy they have sucked from my soul was unbelievable, if they were planning to kill me then they nearly succeeded, because I really wanted to kill myself.
Sean managed to escape a few hours ago for football practice, it seems to be the only excuse he has. He was lucky to escape when he could.
"Right. Well you guess have improved to the point where you can at least get away with it, I'd say you're about the same as the average person now."
"Ah, there was one more thing I wanted to ask you." Ethan said.
"What is it?"
"Are you free some point between Christmas and New years?"
"Probably. Why?"
I'm worried he is going to want more lessons, maybe I should charge him.
"I wanted to go buy some things since there will be sales still on with the money I get for Christmas so I was wondering if you wanted to come?"
Oh. Is that it? No dangerous activity? No awful condition?
"Sure. I'm free."
"Great. Now if you will invite Ruby and get her to ask Kaylee."
There's the catch.
"NO WAY! I'm not doing anything else for you after this ordeal! If you want to ask Kaylee as her yourself."
"Please."
Why is he so persistent, the Kaylee business has been going on for like nearly 10 chapters now.
Can't we go one chapter without mentioning her? People must hate her by now.
"Pllleeeeaaaa.s.ssseeee."
Ethan was on his knees begging, I thought it couldn't get any worse until he started to kiss my feet and start to sob uncontrollably into my now damp socks.
"PLEASE, I BEG YOU!"
"OK OK! FINE! Just get off my feet, I'm going to have to burn these socks now."
Ethan is clearly the perfect example of a man, we may not like it but he is what peak performance looks like.
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"THANK YOU!!"
"But I don't have Ruby's number so I'll have to ask her on my way back today. The only problem is her step-dad hates me. So I'm going to be in an awkward spot if he answers the door."
"How do you still not have her number?"
"You dare have the nerve to ask me that? AFTER EVERYTHING!"
"Ah. Sorry. Sorry master. I apologise. please. Ask her."
Sigh. the things I do for him.
Well, It should be fine. I'll just start to keep track of everything I've done for him and charge him in the future.