Wolf's Mate: Lindy And The Wulfen Part 2

She'd hidden her lack of arousal under heavy perfume as she tried to find a male who would find her worthy of being a mate. But no one wanted her. The males in the pack began to find their truemates, and Lindy became a joke, a female that could be visited in the dark of night to slake a need but never taken out on a date, never taken to meet the male's family or friends. She had honestly believed that eventually a male would find her worthy of more than a late-night f.u.c.k, but after Luka's insult and the way Paul's family had ordered her to stay away from Sunny, as if she might be tainted in some way, Lindy was beginning to believe it was impossible.

When she got home, she called Faith. "I'm just feeling like staying in tonight."

"What's wrong?" Faith demanded.

Lindy hadn't told anyone what had happened on the full moon, but she didn't keep secrets from her friends and had no intention of starting now. Within minutes, she'd told Faith everything that had happened.

Faith growled. "I'm so p.i.s.sed! Those a.s.sholes! Sunny would be lucky to have a sweet, protective friend like you. And Luka, I could cut off his b.a.l.l.s and feed them to him!"

Lindy smiled as she wiped away the tears that had fallen while she shared her heartache. She had tried not to let the night's events hurt her feelings, but she'd been wounded deeply.

"Maybe my mom had the right idea about starting over. Maybe I should just pack up and move to her place and start fresh."

"f.u.c.k. That. I'll be over in fifteen minutes to pick you up. We're going out."

"I really don't want to, Faith."

"Don't care. I'll be there." The call ended, and Lindy looked at the phone for a moment then put it on the coffee table. Walking back to her bedroom, she looked inside the closet. Tight dresses, micro-mini skirts, and revealing tops filled the walk-in. Her work clothes were relegated to a small section of the closet, but the remainder was filled with the sort of clothes that made men think with their d.i.c.k and not their brain. Even her bedroom was a study in seduction, with satin sheets and a fur comforter, red light bulbs in the lamps, and a decorative bowl on the nightstand full of condoms. She'd prided herself on always being prepared, but all the bowl represented to her at the moment was the many males who'd visited her bed but never stayed.

Flipping through the clothes, she found a pale pink tank top with lace trim and grabbed a clean pair of jeans from the shelf where she kept her work clothes. Changing quickly, she applied only a little bit of foundation to hide the dark circles her nearly sleepless night had garnered her and pulled her long, blonde hair into a ponytail. She dropped to her knees and searched through her shoes until she found a pair of ballet flats, picked them up as she stood, and headed out of her bedroom.

Faith opened the front door without knocking, wearing a short, black dress and sky-high heels. "When I said 'go out'," she smiled, "I meant to a bar not a picnic."

Lindy sighed. "I'm trying something different."

Faith leaned against the wall and eyed her speculatively. "Different?"

"I'm tired of the trampy clothes. I hardly have anything decent to wear outside of my work shirts and jeans. If I ever did find a guy willing to mate with me, what the h.e.l.l would I wear to meet his parents?"

Faith looked at her for a long moment and said, "When we talked about finding our mates the other day...are you trying to change yourself into a different person? Because it shouldn't matter what your clothes look like. A guy worth a d.a.m.n is going to understand that."

"I know, but I'm miserable. I never thought that my life would turn out this way. When I planned my life at Sunny's age, I thought I'd be mated with a few pups by now. I have a lot of regrets."

"I do, too, but I'm not going to change who I am."

"I'm still the same person on the inside, but I kinda feel like this outside matches my insides better. Does that make sense?"

Faith snorted. "Are you saying my insides are s.l.u.tty?"

"I'm talking about me. You said I looked like I was going to a picnic."

Faith rolled her eyes. "I was just teasing. You look pretty, and what's better is that you look happier, and that's important. You're not planning to go on some long search for your truemate, are you?"

"He's not in the Tressel Pack, that's for d.a.m.n sure. I'll find him eventually. In the meantime, I want to figure myself out and get back to being happy all the time, not just with my clothes." She paused for a moment and said, "Remember when Jenna was attacked at the bar?"

Faith nodded. Lindy continued, "Logan came barreling out of the bar with rage in his eyes. He would have torn those wolves apart if they hadn't bugged out like cowards. Then he held her, and it was tender and loving. I want that."

Faith raised a brow. "Logan?"

Lindy rolled her eyes. "Of course not, he's mated. What I want is what they have together. That all-consuming pa.s.sion that comes from finding your truemate. Knowing that you'd kill for your mate and that they'd kill for you, too. I want that. I want a male to love me enough to fight for me, to find me if I'm lost or hurt, to be there for me no matter what." She leveled her eyes at her friend. "I'm not going to find that by drinking myself silly every weekend and going home with whichever lowlife happens to be hanging around Jake's at last call."

Jake's was the only bar in Allen and owned by the Tressel Pack. The pack hung out there, but so did humans. It had been Lindy and her friends' weekend stomping ground since they'd turned twenty-one.

"I hadn't thought of it like that. So let's go somewhere that the pack doesn't go."

"Like where?" Lindy asked, grabbing her ID and cash and stuffing them into her back pocket.

"We can try that country bar up in Derven. I think it's called Boots."

Lindy agreed and offered to drive. After Faith buckled in, she said, "Do you think your truemate might be a human?"

Lindy pulled out of her driveway and headed toward Derven. "Why not? Michael's mate is human. And Logan's mate is a fairy. My mate might be a wolf or he might not be, but I'm pretty sure that he's not sitting in a booth at Jake's."

Lindy was happy that Faith had accepted her changes. Although it was small for now - she was really just wearing less revealing clothes - she felt different on the inside. It had hurt like a b.i.t.c.h when she'd been humiliated by Luka and then Paul, but she was beginning to think it was the best thing that had ever happened to her. She was only twenty-six. She still had time to change the course of her life and find her happiness. If she happened to find her mate in the process, well, that would be really sweet. But unlike how she'd felt for a long time, she didn't believe that her happiness lay with a male. She knew better now. Her happiness lay within her, and she was in control of it. No more hoping that a hot guy would notice her and say things that would make her feel good. That was hollow.

She glanced at herself in the rearview mirror after pulling into the parking lot of Boots and smiled. She looked younger than she did with her normal amount of makeup. Her eyes were very blue like a summer sky, and when she smiled, she had a small dimple in one cheek. Had she smiled for real recently? She didn't think so. But she was smiling now. It was a good start to the night.

Lindy pulled into the driveway and Faith kissed her cheek and hopped out, heading to her car that was parked in the street. Lindy watched her pull away from the curb and then got out of her car. It had been a long night. Lindy had offered to let Faith crash, but she wanted to go home and sleep in her own bed instead of on Lindy's lumpy couch.

As she closed her car door, she caught movement out of the corner of her eye and saw someone standing on her front porch. The porch light was on, but she couldn't see who it was because they were standing in the shadows. For a moment, she debated getting back into her car and driving away as she called the police. Crossing her fingers that she wouldn't regret her actions, she marched up the sidewalk.

"Who's there?" she demanded.

The figure chuckled and stepped into the light. But even without the light, she would have recognized Bruce by the sound of his laugh and the horrid cheap cologne that wafted off him the closer she got. She held back the disgusted sigh and looked up at him from where she stood on the sidewalk.

"What are you doing here, Bruce?"

He leaned against her front door and hooked his thumbs in his belt loops. He was mildly attractive, with blond hair and blue eyes and a muscular build. But his personality just sucked so much. He acted as if he were the best male specimen on two legs, and she knew quite well that his ego was largely inflated when it came to his prowess in bed.

"I thought you'd show up at Jake's tonight."

She didn't really like him leaning on her door. Or even being on her property. After their night together, she was determined that it would be their last one. She didn't want anything to do with him anymore.

"I went somewhere else." Leave. Leave now.

He raised his brows but didn't seem to actually care where she'd been. "You up for a quick tumble? I've gotta get up early for work."

Her mouth fell open. Had he really just thought she would show him in and drop her clothes because he'd decided to grace her with his presence? Judging by his expectant look, she had a feeling that he did indeed expect that.

"No thanks."

"Ah." He nodded. "On the rag?"

She closed her eyes as a headache began to form in the middle of her forehead. Rubbing the spot with her thumb, she said, "No. I'm just not interested in having s.e.x with you tonight, or any other night." A little flare of anger rose up inside her. Just because she had behaved badly in the past didn't mean he, or any other male, had the right to treat her like the s.e.x version of a 7-Eleven. She folded her arms and let her beast loose a little so that a growl rumbled from her throat. "You need to leave."

He snorted and shook his head, shoving off the door and striding past her. She watched him walk down the sidewalk. He paused and looked over his shoulder. "You've spread your legs for almost every unmated male in the pack, Lindy. I'm the only one that's still interested. You should think about that the next time I ask for s.e.x."

She snarled and bared her teeth in displeasure. He laughed loudly and walked down the driveway. His car was parked across the street, and she waited until he was gone before she relaxed her aggressive stance and went into the house.

The following day at work, she re-shelved books and fumed over the situation from the night before. She and Faith had sat at a table at Boots and ordered drinks. The bar had been full of humans, and for once, she was glad to be in a place where no one knew her name or her past. It hadn't taken long for men to notice the two unattached women, and before long she was dancing the night away with different men and enjoying herself, the same as Faith.

As the night wore down, one guy, who had been paying close attention to her, asked her to come home with him. She thought he was handsome, but she wasn't looking for another one-nighter. She didn't want to be a notch on someone's bedpost or a booty call.

"How about I give you my number and we go out sometime?" she offered.

He gave her an incredulous look. "I'm not looking for anything but a good time. You in or not?"

In an instant, her good mood evaporated, and her self-esteem disappeared right along with it. Did she have easy stamped on her forehead or something? "Not," she said and turned to walk away.

His hand clamped on her upper arm, and he jerked her against his body with a scowl. "What are you, a tease? I bought you a drink."

She stomped her heel down on his foot, and he released her arm with a shout. "b.i.t.c.h!"

"Go f.u.c.k yourself, a.s.shole," she growled and elbowed him in the gut as she walked by. He cursed again, but she was too annoyed to care what he said about her, and she didn't really care anyway.

Faith left with her and put her arm around her at the car. "You'll find your prince charming, Linds, and it won't be some a.s.shole who thinks a three-dollar soda is worth a b.l.o.w. .j.o.b."

Lindy chuckled, but it was forced. She should have known better than to go to a bar looking to make a change to her life. She wouldn't find happiness sitting at a table in a dimly lit bar. At this point, she wasn't sure she'd ever find any happiness, but she was d.a.m.n well going to try.

"Why do you look like you wish you were punching someone?" her boss asked, joining her in the YA aisle.

"Bad night."

Stella was in her late forties and didn't look like the sort of woman who normally owned a bookstore. Her arms were covered with tattoos, and she wore tight jeans, heeled boots, and heavy metal T-shirts. She was an amazing, sweet woman.

She was also very intuitive.

"If you're not happy with your life, Lindy, then make some changes. You're in charge of your happiness."

She hummed in her throat. She'd been thinking the same thing. "I don't like how I dress."

"Oh? I have some '80s rocker tees you might like." Stella smiled broadly.

"Thanks, but I mean the s.l.u.tty stuff. It was...fun and freeing to wear that kind of stuff before, but now it just makes me feel like I'm displaying stuff no one wants anymore."

"So a new wardrobe, that's easy enough. What else?" Stella leaned against the shelf and listened while Lindy talked about redoing her home and purging the bad memories.

"You know something else you could do? Community service. You read to the kids once a week, which is awesome, but you could become more active in other ways, too. Have you considered that? You're talking about making outward changes, which is a good first step, but often helping others makes us aware of how good we have things and makes us feel better about ourselves, too."

Lindy put another book on the shelf and said, "I hadn't thought of that. I could start being more active in the pack and around town. Mac's grandma lives in the retirement community in Allen, and she would probably know about some people who might like a helping hand. Thanks, Stella."

"You're welcome, sweets. We've all been there, okay? I was a party girl at your age, too. Some women live that way their whole lives, never really settling down, moving from one adventure to the next. There's nothing wrong with that way of life, unless you are feeling like it's not for you anymore. You're allowed to make changes to your life, and if people don't accept what you're doing, then they can go to h.e.l.l."

Helping people would take the focus off herself, get her out of her poor-me feelings, and give her a purpose. And if she could help with the pack, then she would feel more valuable as a pack member, and that was something she wanted now. If they were willing to accept the changes she wanted to make. She knew that Mac and Faith would accept her and love her no matter what, but she was unsure of the rest of the pack. And even if they didn't accept her, well, they could just f.u.c.k off.

Sunday afternoon, Cadence Gerrick put her daughter, Lyric, in the booster seat at the kitchen table and ruffled her blonde hair. "What's for lunch, little wolf? How about some delicious broccoli?"

Her nearly one-year-old daughter squealed happily and slapped her palms on the table a few times as she said one of the few words she could say clearly, "Chicken."

Cades grinned at her daughter. "You sound just like your daddy."

"Why, because she's so brilliant?" Jason asked as he strode into the kitchen. He snagged Cades around the waist and pulled her close.

"No, because she only wants meat. I can hardly get her to eat veggies." She sighed as Jason nuzzled under her ear.

"Meat's good," he growled, and the sound slipped down Cades' spine like a decadent caress. "You're better."

She slapped his shoulder. "Behave. Your daughter is hungry."

"When's her nap?" He nipped her neck and grinned.

"Soon, my feisty mate." He released her reluctantly and sat down at the table next to Lyric. Turning her attention to the refrigerator, she pulled out chicken b.r.e.a.s.t.s and put them on the counter. Cutting two b.r.e.a.s.t.s into chunks, she dropped them into a hot pan and gave them a stir with a long-handled wooden spoon. After cleaning up the mess she'd made, she poured a gla.s.s of apple juice and put it down in front of her daughter, asking Jason if he wanted anything for lunch.

He leaned back in the chair and hooked his arm over the back. She was momentarily frozen as she watched his shirt stretch over his muscular chest. He always had that affect on her. Made her brain fizzle out when he flashed her one of his panty-melting smiles or casually flexed. Although she doubted he did anything casually. He knew how much he affected her, and she was glad that she affected him the same way.

"I'm going to head back to the clearing. I'm thinking about widening the clearing by taking down some trees. Dad and Grandpa are meeting me back there."

"The pit could probably stand to be dug out again. Seems like we put less wood in it every full moon because it doesn't take much to fill it up. When we were kids, the pit seemed a lot deeper."

He gave her a smirk. "Maybe that was because we were smaller?"

She stuck her tongue out, and he laughed.

"I'll add it to the to-do list before the July full moon."

He stood and stretched, bending over to kiss Lyric on the cheek. "I'll be back, mate."

"I'll be waiting."

She watched him leave the house, enjoying the way his jeans hugged his b.u.t.t. Turning her attention to lunch, she turned the chicken over in the pan and put together her own meal. Lyric was different than Cades, but that was to be expected. Cades was only half wolf, a hybrid with some wolfish abilities like fangs on the full moon and some extra sensory abilities, but Jason was a powerful alpha wolf. Lyric was not a full wolf, but she was showing wolf tendencies at an early age, which led everyone to speculate that she might be able to shift when she reached sixteen.

Cades wanted that for her daughter. She'd spent the better part of her life standing on the outskirts of the pack because she wasn't a true wolf. Sure she was alpha female, but she hadn't been included in pack dealings as a youngster and had grown up on the outside looking in. She didn't want that for Lyric. Or any other children that Cades and Jason had.

Dumping the contents of the pan onto a plastic plate decorated with Lyric's favorite cartoon character, Cades squeezed ketchup in a small dollop and added a few pieces of broccoli just for good measure.

"No, Mama." Lyric made a face, s.c.r.e.w.i.n.g up her mouth in a snarl that was almost exactly like Jason's as she pushed the broccoli off the plate and onto the table.

Cades chuckled, and put her own plate on the table, and had pulled her chair out, just as the doorbell rang.

Not wanting to leave Lyric alone, she called, "It's open!"

There was a pause, and then the door opened with a creak, closed, and footsteps came down the hall toward the kitchen. Cades' mouth fell open in surprise as Lindy stood in the archway of the kitchen. She looked...different. Her long, blonde hair was pulled back in a French braid, she wore almost no makeup, giving her a youthful, fresh-faced look, and she wore a pale peach T-shirt and tan capris with blue tennis shoes.

"Lindy?"