With Friends Like These... Part 4

tinents. They are called pirn-birds for convenience. Of the natives-not of the birds, who have nothing to say in the matter. Their real names are much longer and even incorporate a short s.n.a.t.c.h of song. You wouldn't understand it, because the natives themselves don't. It's a very old song. A rough terranglo translation begins Tears of the sun . . . and flows from there. This particular pirn-bird supposedly contains the soul of the great emperor Lethan-atuan, who-depending on which legend you prefer to believe-at one time ruled with the most beautiful Queen Quetzal-ma half this galaxy or a cl.u.s.ter of three small islands off the coast of the continent Col. Just now it happens to be hungry. It is said by the Indians that if the souls of the emperor and his queen are ever reunited, they will once again rule the galaxy. Which is one reason the natives permitted me to take him oS-planet. They rather like their present system of rule and frown on the idea of long-dead emperors returning."

He turned and pointed the hammer at Jordan. "So you want to buy anger, hmm? What kind of anger?"

"There are different kinds?"

Sawbill picked up another couple of nails. "Different kinds? There are so many different kinds as there are foolish young men in the universe. There's uncertain anger, which is dark pits filled with thorns. There's jealous anger, which is honey and syrup all blended together and spoiled. There's the anger of unhappiness, which is the texture of polished chalcedony. There's the anger of helplessness, which is like sour milk to a babe. There's the anger of ignorance, which is the s.p.a.ce between the stars. And the anger of creative genius, which is the grandest anger of them all and more than the sum of any two others. But I can't sell it to you because I'm always well out of it."

"That's not the kind I want," said Jasper Jordan. "I have money and I'm not offensive to look upon. I need something to boost me down the road a bit. To 56.The Emoman activate the navigational gyro in my spirit. To move me."

"Then you don't need anger; you need a psychiatrist," Sawbill replied evenly.

"I don't want to change the way I feel. I want to indulge in it, to glory in it. I didn't come for what I need. I came for what I want. What I want is anger. Good strong, biting, cleansing, wave-breaking, gla.s.s-shattering anger. The mate of hate. Seven-league-boot anger. Do you understand?" He was not quite pleading.

"Why, surely," said Sawbill, driving home another nail. "That's called righteous anger and I always keep plenty of that in stock. Come aboard."

Jasper Jordan followed Sawbill up a small boarding ladder and into the bowels of the old sloop. The pirn-bird, which might have been an emperor at one time- and then again, might not-looked down at them and whistled: Ee-kwoo, ee-kwoo, ee-kwoo-hoo ...

Jasper Jordan seated himself in an undisciplined old chair in the s.p.a.cious centra] cabin.

"You wait there," Sawbill said softly, "while ,1 get what you want." He disappeared forward.

Jordan looked around. The decor was esoteric- indeed, eccentric. Most of the furnishings were made from natural woods. Some were dark-grained and highly polished, others as brown as raw bacon. For sheer color chromoplate had them beat hollow. For tactile beauty it was no contest.

The chair in which he sat was worlds removed from the late-model automatic fluxator in his office, the one that molded itself to every contour of his body. But somehow this collection of springs and stuffing flattered, his backside quite well.

Sawbill returned. He sat down opposite Jordan and placed seven tiny capsules on the table between them. Each was clearly numbered. Jordan leaned forward.

"As you can see, there are seven pills," began Saw-bill. "They are to be taken in sequence, an hour apart.

57.No closer than that, timewise. A thousand credits apiece. You have your card and meter with you?"

Jordan nodded. He reached into a pocket, brought out both. After making the necessary adjustments he handed the card to Sawbill.

"What happens after I've taken them all?"

"An hour after you've taken the seventh pill you'll have thirty-six t-standard hours of what you want. That I promise you." Sawbill registered the exchange of credit on his own battered cardmeter, handed the card back to Jordan. Then he sat back in his chair and took out a pipe. He began stuffing it with tobacco.

Jordan reset his card while Sawbill spoke. "If anyone should ask, you've never seen me before and you never will again." Jordan didn't look up. "You will have the anger to enforce the drive to do what it is you desire to do. Provided you don't run into someone with" a stronger reserve of the natural stuff than what I've given you. Most unlikely that there is anyone on this planet who can resist the force those seven capsules are going to put hi your head.

"You're a peaceable-seeming young fellow. Those are usually the types who seek me out."

"Mine is a case of a strong emotion seeking a stronger one," muttered Jordan. He pulled out a small quartz vial and carefully deposited the pills in it, one by one.

Sawbill leaned forward suddenly. He put a gnarled hand covered with gray fuzz on Jordan's slimmer, smoother one. He stared hard and searchingly into the other's eyes.

"You've no idea what you're getting into, feller me lad. Before you go I want to know what you intend these capsules for. I want to know why you want them. I want to know the details. I want the ramifications, the exigencies, the history you call up your desire from. I want all that before I let you go."

"Well," Jordan began uncertainly, "there is a woman-"

58.The Emoman "Ah," said Sawbill, removing his hand and sitting back. "That will do."

The hull of the sloop had been repaired, sanded, and refinished to be as smooth as the waves it would slide over. Now it was receiving a new coat of fresh, resistant red polymer. Thalia Major had performed another couple of pirouettes on its axis. Thalia Minor had, too. But, of course, that didn't matter, because ...

A tall young man arrived in the boatyard. He asked a few pointed questions and paid a few small bribes. He was very composed. Soon he was looking up at Sawbill. Sawbill was leaning over the back of the boat, painting the rudder. He used a brush, not a sprayer.

"Are you the one they call Sawbill, who sells emotions?" asked the tall young man composedly.

"Impossible," replied Sawbill sadly, pausing in his painting.

"I'm Terence Wu," said the tall young man. He was elegantly dressed in a black-and-white semiformal suit. He wore his straight black hair in an Iroquois cut-a wide bushy brush ran down the center of his skull. He had high cheekbones, a wide grin, and small black eyes. Judging by the ring on his left hand, a ring that had been cut from a single large sapphire and caught the light of the sun like a siren, he also had a great deal of money.

"I want to buy some anger," said the tail young man.

"What kind of anger?" Sawbill asked, returning to his painting. He caught a spot lower down that he had missed earlier.

. "The kind of anger that lets you slash and cut without hesitation," said Terence Wu tightly. "The kind that makes other men look to their feet and cats sweat." The rich young man's hands were tightly clenched, nails impressing palms. He was most earnest. "The kind that the padres do not approve of. That kind of anger."

59.. ..

Sawbill indicated the ladder. "Then come aboard, feller me lad, come aboard."

Wu relaxed slightly and started for the ladder. "Then you have that kind of anger?" he asked.

"Why, surely," replied Sawbill, dipping the brush in a can of clear polymer debonder. "That's the anger of revenge and I always keep plenty of that in stock."

He took another look at the way the photon magnet on the man's finger disorganized the light of the fading sun. "It will cost you three times seven thousand credits, feller me lad."

"That's perfectly agreeable," said Wu evenly, stepping onto the deck.

Sawbill indicated the way down. "May I inquire why you should wish such anger?"

"Well," began Wu, hesitantly, "there's a woman-" "Ah!" said Sawbill understandingly. "-and she's been taken from me. I want her back." "Of course," murmured Sawbill as he followed the young man down.

Forward, the pirn-bird observed the ocean devouring the sun-ball and said, Ee-kwoo, ee-kwoo, ee-kwoo-hoo...

He was stacking the last strands of new dylon rigging when a voice from below said, "h.e.l.lo."

Sawbill looked over the railing. The too-young man stood below. Jordan's face was pale, haggard, worn. His suit, blue this time, was badly rumpled, as was his manner.

"h.e.l.lo on board," he said rather shakily, evidently not seeing Sawbill.

"Evening," said Sawbill.

"Look-I know I promised not to see you again, but I've got to talk to you."

"Do you?" asked Sawbill, turning back to his waxing. He dipped a hand in the pot of wax and continued running the new line through his fingers. "But I don't have to talk to you."

"Dammit to h.e.l.l!" came the whining yelp from the 60.The Emoman ground. "You got me into this. You've got to help me. Please." The voice paused. "You've got to sell me another dose!"

"I don't have to sell you anything," Sawbill replied quietly. He stopped at a section of line that seemed a little frayed, gave it an extra coat of wax. "I can make trouble for you-" "So can a b.u.mblebee-" Sawbill sighed, "if his coordinates in relation to the center of the universe do not coincide with mine. But come on board and I'll listen to you."

Jordan climbed on board. He was panting heavily. His visage was not a comforting thing to look upon. His face was dirty. He wiped absently at a particularly greasy spot under one eye. The gesture had the effect of redistributing the muck evenly across his cheek. He slumped into the pilot's seat behind the many-spoked wheel and groaned.

"I've had other things on my mind," he said. "Were you satisfied with what you paid for?" Saw-bill asked.

For a moment Jordan seemed to brighten. A combination of feelings, none of them holy, came into his eyes.

"Yes. It was everything you promised. But afterward-why couldn't you have given me a stronger dose, one for longer than thirty-six hours?"

"I gave you the maximum for a person of your type."

"How do you presume to know what 'type' I am?" Jordan asked belligerently.

Sawbill looked up from his waxing. "If I'd given you a stronger dose or told you to take the seven at slightly shorter intervals you would have been harmed -you might even have died." "I don't believe you."

Sawbill shrugged and went on with his waxing. After several minutes Jordan pleaded, "What can I do?"

"Don't beg, don't cry, and don't whine. I could sell 61.WITH FRIENBS LIKE THESE . ..

you another kind of emotion that would cure those tendencies, too. But you would resist. So tell me what happened. Why do you find it necessary to acquire more anger than is good for a man at one time?"

"There's this girl-" began Jasper Jordan.

"That's the substance, the body, the core, the hub of the thing." said Sawbill. "Now supply me the tinsel, the sprinkles on top of the sweetcakes, the things that metamorphose your need into leeches."

"She's the most beautiful girl on Thalia Major."

"Not in the universe?"

"Don't mock me. I don't know the universe. I only know Thalia Major. And Minor, of course, but that doesn't matter. We were in love-"

"How long have you known her?"

"Three weeks/* Jordan said defiantly. When Saw-bill did not comment he continued. "Everything was fine. We were going to be married."

"Did she finally agree to marry you?"

"It went without saying. As I said-everything was fine until several days ago. Then I found out she was seeing another-man, I suppose I must call him. She didn't deny it. She admitted she was meeting this putrid, low ... I couldn't understand why. But I couldn't convince her to break it off. He had hypnotized her. I'm a very mild, you might even say a tame, individual. I didn't have the force of personality to confront him. We're all very civilized here on Thalia Major."

"Yes," said Sawbill encouragingly.

"I just wanted to warn him off, to tell him to leave us alone. Not to confuse her anymore. So I came to see .you. Everyone knows about you Emomen-even if you are hard to find."

"We like it that way."

"Well, the beginning went just as I had hoped- exactly as I had imagined it would. Better, even. I was a terror-although I don't remember the details very well, I'm afraid. I completely overpowered him spiritually and mentally. He couldn't take it. He vowed never to see her again. And he meant it. I could 62.The Emoman tell. I was irresistible. Then-yesterday-he confronted me in my office. We had a terrible row. He was a madman! I had never seen a human being behave so. I was reduced to-jelly. He was an elemental force. I tried to stand up to him but I couldn't. I found myself babbling apologies for ever having looked at Jo-ann. You can't imagine what it was like. I've never confronted anything like that before. Helpless. And he recorded the entire thing, the whole humiliating experience.

"And then, last night I tried to sneak over to see her. To try to rebuild myself in her eyes at least partially. Praying all the while, of course, that I wouldn't meet that giant, that G.o.dlike devil again. I saw them taking the lift up to her apartment-and went out and got drunk. Then it came to me to come back here. You've got to give me something stronger this time- something that will last. Something that will enable me to push him away once and for all."

Sawbill finished washing the wax from his hands. He sat back against the bulk of the cabin. He became absorbed in an inspection of the rear hatchway.

After a long while he asked bluntly, "Why should I become a partic.i.p.ant in this? Perhaps he is the better man for her than you. Maybe matters are best left this way."

"It's his father's money that's blinded her! The family name is ... well, no matter. But the father is one of the richest men in Barragash. I work hard- I'm well off, yes. But not in that cla.s.s. I can compete with him and better him in everything except the matter of credit."

Sawbill was adamant. "I will sell you nothing stronger. I gave you your maximum dosage. And that's all you can have."

The too-young man was desperate. "Then at least sell me the same, the same seven again. You owe me that."

Sawbill grunted and wiped his hands on his pants. "It will cost you double this time."

63.J.

"Yes, yes, anything-" He was like an eager puppy. "I promise-if this doesn't do it I will give her up to him. I'll move to another city. Perhaps to another planet. I might even go to Thalia Minor. Who knows? But in any case I will not trouble you again."

On a high mast the pirn-bird was sobbing for the moon.

Sails furled, the little sloop sat on the water. Saw-bill had the mainsail ready and was preparing the spinnaker when the peaceforcers came for him.

The man on the dock was short and plump. He had a benignly optimistic face and scraggly brown hair that was fighting a rearguard action.

A green aircar waited at the far end of the dock. It had the oak tree symbol of the peaceforcer emblazoned on its side. Two uniformed men stood against it, chatting.

"Pretty little ship," said the man on the dock.

"Yes, it is," said Sawbill. "Used not to be. Is now."

He was wrestling with the sail locker. The pirn-bird fidgeted and bobbed on his shoulder. It moved to the ,top of his head, then dropped down to the shoulder again, eying the short man.

"I'd like you to come with me for a bit, Sawbill. I'm Inspector Herrera."

"Nice for you, I guess."

"Usually it is, but not today."

"I was just about to go out for a month or so. I'm trying to get away from people and civilization for a while. A vacation-you understand?"

Herrera nodded. "I do. Really, I do." He seemed honestly sympathetic. "But I'd still like you to come with me."

"If I decline?" Sawbill asked, straightening. "No doubt those gentlemen by your car will hurry down here with things short, metallic, and unesthetic. To persuade me?"

Herrera sighed. "No, Sawbill, they will not. You've probably heard before that we are very civilized, here 64.The Emoman on Thalia Major. One of those men is a driver-and all he is going to do is drive. The other is a secretary."

"And all he will do is sec?"

"Please don't make light of this. It's difficult enough for me as it is. I cannot compel you."