Wit and Mirth: or Pills to Purge Melancholy Volume VI Part 37

The Widdows now are a Singing, And have thrown their Peaks aside; For they have been us'd to stinging, When their Garters were unty'd: But the Red-coats they will tye 'em, _When as the Troopers_, &c.

Wives and Widdows and Maidens, I'm sure this News will please ye; If any with Maiden-heads laden, The Red-coats they will ease ye: Then all prepare to be happy, _To see the Troopers all come Home_, &c.

_A_ SONG. _Tune of_ Old Boree.

Come _Caelia_ come, let's sit and talk a while, About the Affairs of Loving: Let a mutual Kiss our Cares and Fears beguile, Far distant from this Grove: Let's pa.s.s our Time in Mirth away, Now we're remov'd from the noisy, noisy Court, Now we're got out of the stormy Sea, Into the safer Port.

_A_ SONG. _Set by Mr._ Damascene.

[Music]

Who can _Dorinda's_ Beauty view, And not her Captive be; _Apollo_, _Daphne_ did pursue, Embraced the Maid, though chang'd to a Tree: If G.o.d's could love at such a rate, Poor Mortals must adore: _Dorinda's_ Merit is as great; 'Tis just, 'tis just to love her more.

_A_ HYMN _upon the Execution of two_ CRIMINALS, _by Mr._ RAMONDON.

[Music]

All you that must take a leap in the Dark, Pity the Fate of _Lawson_ and _Clark_; Cheated by Hope, by Mercy amus'd, Betray'd by the sinful ways we us'd: Cropp'd in our Prime of Strength and Youth, Who can but weep at so sad a Truth; _Cropp'd in our Prime_, &c.

Once we thought 'twould never be Night, But now ala.s.s 'twill never be light; Heavenly mercy shine on our Souls, Death draws near, hark, _Sepulchres_ Bell Toles: Nature is stronger in Youth than in Age, Grant us thy Spirit Lord Grief to a.s.suage:

Courses of Evil brought us to this, Sinful Pleasure, deceitful Bliss: We ne'er shou'd have cause so much to repent, Could we with our Callings have been but Content: The Snares of Wine and Women fair, First were the cause that we now Despair.

You that now view our fatal End, Warn'd by our Case your Carriage mend; Soon or late grim Death will come, Who'd not prepare for a certain Doom: Span long Life with lifeless Joys, What's in this World but care and noise.

Youth, tho' most blest by being so, As vast thy Joy, as great thy Woe; Ev'ry Sin that gives Delight, Will in the end the Soul affright: 'Tis not thy Youth, thy Wealth nor Strength, Can add to Life one Moments length.

G.o.d is as Merciful as Just, Cleanse our Hearts, since die we must: Sweet Temptations of worldly Joys, Makes for our Grief, and our Peace destroys, Think then when Man his Race has run, Death is the Prize which he has won.

Sure there's none so absurd and odd, To think with the Fool there is no G.o.d; What is't we fear when Death we meet, Where't not t' account at the Judgment-Seat: That Providence we find each Hour, Proves a supernatural Power; In Mercy open thy bright Abode, Receive our Souls tremendous G.o.d.

_The_ British ACCOUNTANT.

[Music]

You Ladies draw near, I can tell you good News, If you please to give Ear, or else you may Choose; Of a _British Accountant_ that's Frolick and free, Who does wondrous Feats by the Rule of Three.

_Addition_, _Division_, and other such Rules, I'll leave to be us'd by your Scribling Fools; This Art is Improv'd unto such a Degree, That he manages all by the Rule of Three.

You Dames that are Wed who can make it appear, That you lose an Estate for want of an Heir: This _Accountant_ will come without e'er a Fee, And warrants a Boy by his Rule of Three.

Is the Widdow distress'd for the loss of her Spouse, Tho' to have him again she cares not a Louse; Her Wants he supplys whatsoever they be, And all by his Art in the Rule of Three.

Do you Dream in the Night and fret at your Fate, For want of the Man when you happen to wake; You may presently send and satisfy'd be, That he Pacifies all by the Rule of Three.

You Ladies who are with a Husband unblest, And are minded to make him a delicate Beast; He'll fix the Brow-antlers just where they should be, And all by his Art in the Rule of Three.

You La.s.ses at large of the true Female Race, Who are glad of the Men who will lye on their Face; Do but try the bold _Britton_, you all will agree, That you never did know such a Rule of Three.

_A_ SONG. _Set by Mr._ FRANK.

The Night is come that will allow, No longer any Coyness now, But every freedom must to Love be given; What tho' the Shadows of the Night, Withdraw her Beauty from his sight, The Youth another way, another way, Another way will find his Heav'n.

See, see the charming Nymph is lay'd, Never again to rise a Maid, The vigorous Bridegroom now impatient grown; Thrown himself by her side, With eager Joy, and amourous Pride, Ready to seize the Prey that's now his own.

And now that all have left the Place, Transporting Joys crowd on apace, The Nymph contends like one that would not win; Entrain'd with Pleasure now she lies, The Youth has gain'd the n.o.ble Prize, And now her Fears are past, and Joys begin.

_A_ SONG. _The Words by Mr._ ESCOURT.

[Music]

You tell me _d.i.c.k_ you've lately read That we are beaten in _Spain_; But prithee Boy hold up thy Head, We'll beat 'em twice for it again _With a Fal la la la la la la la._

Is this the Courage you us'd to boast, Why thou art quite cast down; You can reflect on what we've lost, But ne'er think what we've won, _With a Fal_, &c.

What tho' _Jack Spaniard_ crack and bounce, He ne'er shall do so again; We took last Year as many Towns, As they have now took Men, _With a Fal_, &c.

In War and Gaming it is the same, According to the old Saying; Who's sure to conquer ev'ry Game, Quite loses the Pleasure of playing: _With a Fal_, &c.

I think we have a Man of our own, A Man if I may call him so; For after those great Deeds he has done, I may question if he's so or no, _With a Fal_, &c.

But now if you wou'd know his Name, 'Tis _Johnny Marlborough_; The beaten _French_ has felt his Fame, And so shall the Spaniards too, _With a Fal_, &c.

And since we cannot Justice do, To ev'ry Victory; In a full Gla.s.s our Zeal let's show, To our General's Family, _With a Fal_, &c.

For he has Eight fair Daughters, And each of them is a Charmer; There's Lady _Railton_, _Bridgwater_, Fine _Sunderland_, Lady _Mount-Hermer_, _With a Fal_, &c.