Wit and Mirth: or Pills to Purge Melancholy Volume V Part 5

_The_ SCOTCH _Wedding_

_Between_ JOCKEY _and_ JENNY.

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Then _Jockey_ wou'd a Wooing away, On our Feast-day when he was foo; Then _Jenny_ put on her best Array, When she thought _Jockey_ would come to Woo.

If I thought _Jockey_ were come to Town, It wad be for the leve of me; Then wad I put on beth Hat and Goown, Because I'd seem worstsome in his Eye.

Then _Jenny_ p.r.i.c.k'd up a brant breeght broow, She was as breeght as onny clock; As _Moggy_ always used to do, For fear her Sweet-heart shou'd her mock.

Then _Jenny_ shoo tripped up the Stairs, And secretly to shift her Smock; But leard how loud her mother swears, O hast away _Jenny_, and come to _Jock_.

Then _Jenny_ came tripping down the Stairs, Oh Leard so nimbly tripped she; But oh how _Jockey_ began to stare, When he beheld hur fair Beauty!

Then _Jenny_ made a Curtshy low, Until the Stairs did touch her Dock; But Leard how loud her Mother did lough, When shoo _Jenny_ was come to _Jock_.

Then _Jockey_ tuke _Jenny_ by the Nease, Saying my dear Lovey canst thou loof me?

My Father is Dead and has left me Land, Some fair ould Houses twa or three.

Thou shalt be the Lady o'er them aw, I doot, quod _Jenny_ you do me mock; Ad ta my saw, quoth _Jockey_, then, I come to woo thee _Jenny_, quoth _Jock_.

_This to be said after the_ SONG.

Sea then they gang'd to the Kirk to be wad; noow they den't use to wad in _Scotchland_ as they wad in _England_, for they gang to the Kirk, and they take the Donkin by the Rocket, and say, good morn Sir Donkin, says Sir Donkin, ah _Jockey_ sen ater me, wit ta ha _Jenny_ to thy wadded Wife? ay by her Lady quoth _Jockey_ and thanka twa, we aw my Heart; ah _Jenny_ sen ater me, wit ta ha _Jockey_ to thy wadded Loon, to have and to hold for aver and aver, forsaking aw other Loons, lubberloons, black Lips, blue Nases, an aw Swiggbell'd caves? ah, an these twa be'nt as weel wadded as e'er I wadded twa in _Scotchland_, the Deel and St. _Andrew_ part ye.

_A_ Scotch SONG _made to the_ Irish JIGG, _and Sung to the King at_ Whitehall.

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Lately as thorough the fair _Edinborough_, To view the fair Meadows as I was ganging; _Jockey_ and _Moggy_ were walking and talking, Of Love and Religion, thus closely Haranguing; Never says _Moggy_, come near me false _Jockey_, For thou art a _Whig_, and I mean to abhor thee; Ize be no Bride, nor will lig by thy side, For no sneaking Rebel shall lift a Leg o'er me.

_Jockey._ Fairest and Dearest, And to my Heart nearest, To live with thy Frowns I no longer am able; I am so loving, And thou art so moving, Each Hair of thy Head ties me fast as a Cable: Thou hast that in thee, Ise sure to win me, To _Jew_, _Turk_ or _Atheist_, so much I adore thee; Nothing I'd shun, That is under the Sun, So I have the pleasure to lift a Leg o'er thee.

_Moggy._ Plotters and Traytors, And a.s.sociators, In every degree thou shalt swear to oppose 'em; Swimmers and Trimmers, The Nations Redeemers, And for thy Reward thou shalt sleep in my Bosom; I had a Dad, Was a Royal brave Lad, And as true as the Sun to his Monarch before me; _Moggy_ he cry'd, The same hour that he Dy'd, Let no sneaking Rebel e'er lift a Leg o'er thee.

_Jockey._ Adieu then ye Crew then, Of Protestant Blue Men, No Faction his _Moggy_ from _Jockey_ shall sever; Thou shalt at Court, My Conversion Report, I am not the first Whig by his Wife brought in favour; Ise never deal, For the dull Common Weal, To fight for true Monarchy shall be my Glory; Lull'd with thy Charms, Then I die in your Arms, When I have the Pleasure to lift a Leg o'er thee.

_The Fair La.s.s of_ ISLINGTON.

[Music]

There was a La.s.s of _Islington_, As I have heard many tell; And she would to Fair _London_ go, Fine Apples and Pears to sell: And as along the Streets she flung, With her basket on her Arm: Her Pears to sell, you may know it right well, This fair Maid meant no harm.

But as she tript along the Street, Her pleasant Fruit to sell; A Vintner did with her meet, Who lik'd this Maid full well: Quoth he, fair Maid, what have you there?

In Basket decked brave; Fine Pears, quoth she, and if it please ye A taste Sir you shall have.

The Vintner he took a Taste, And lik'd it well, for why; This Maid he thought of all the rest, Most pleasing to his Eye: Quoth he, fair Maid I have a Suit, That you to me must grant; Which if I find you be so kind, Nothing that you shall want.

Thy Beauty doth so please my Eye, And dazles so my sight; That now of all my Liberty, I am deprived quite: Then prithee now consent to me, And do not put me by; It is but one small courtesie, All Night with you to lie.

Sir, if you lie with me one Night, As you propound to me; I do expect that you should prove, Both courteous, kind and free: And for to tell you all in short, It will cost you Five Pound, A Match, a Match, the Vintner said, And so let this go round.

When he had lain with her all Night, Her Money she did crave, O stay, quoth he, the other Night, And thy Money thou shalt have: I cannot stay, nor I will not stay, I needs must now be gone, Why then thou may'st thy Money go look, For Money I'll pay thee none.

This Maid she made no more ado, But to a Justice went; And unto him she made her moan, Who did her Case lament: She said she had a Cellar Let out, To a Vintner in the Town; And how that he did then agree Five Pound to pay her down.

But now, quoth she, the Case is thus, No Rent that he will pay; Therefore your Worship I beseech, To send for him this Day: Then strait the Justice for him sent, And asked the Reason why; That he would pay this Maid no Rent?

To which he did Reply,

Although I hired a Cellar of her, And the Possession was mine?

I ne'er put any thing into it, But one poor Pipe of Wine: Therefore my Bargain it was hard, As you may plainly see; I from my Freedom was Debarr'd, Then good Sir favour me.

This Fair Maid being ripe of Wit, She strait Reply'd again; There were two b.u.t.ts more at the Door, Why did you not roul them in?

You had your Freedom and your Will, As is to you well known; Therefore I do desire still, For to receive my own.

The Justice hearing of their Case, Did then give Order strait; That he the Money should pay down, She should no longer wait: Withal he told the Vintner plain If he a Tennant be; He must expect to pay the same, For he could not sit Rent-free.

But when the Money she had got, She put it in her Purse: And clapt her Hand on the Cellar Door, And said it was never the worse: Which caused the People all to Laugh, To see this Vintner Fine: Out-witted by a Country Girl, About his Pipe of Wine.

_The most Famous_ BALLAD

_Of King_ HENRY _the 5th; his Victory over the_ French _at_ Agencourt.

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A Councel grave our King did hold, With many a Lord and Knight: That he might truly understand, That _France_ did hold his Right.

Unto the King of _France_ therefore, Emba.s.sadors he sent; That he might truly understand, His Mind and whole Intent.

Desiring him in friendly sort, His lawful Right to yield; Or else he swore by dint of Sword, To win it in the Field.

The King of _France_ with all his Lords, Did hear this Message plain; And to our brave Emba.s.sador, Did answer with Disdain.