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"I was aroused from my lethargy by hearing the street door close after Wold, and I desired Mrs. Arras to permit me to have an interview with Laura alone. It was granted, and I was soon in the presence of the lovely maid. She was aware of my perturbation and its cause. She sat with her eyes cast down in silence. I looked upon her form and her features of perfect beauty, and oh! what tongue can describe the mingled and contending emotions that convulsed my breast! I repressed every violent or boisterous inclination of my spirits, however, and taking her unresisting hand, sat down in sorrow at her side.
"'Laura,' said I, with difficulty finding utterance, 'do we thus part, and for ever?' She made no answer, but gazed steadfastly at the rich carpet, while her face, though somewhat paler than usual, betrayed no change of muscle.
"'Laura,' I repeated, in tones more distinct, 'are we _now_ to part, and _for ever_?'
"'Father says so,' she replied. Her hand fell from my grasp. The unmoved, _indifferent_ manner of her reply froze my blood in my veins!
I again stared at her composed features in astonishment allied to contempt.
"'But what do _you_ say?' I asked, with a bluntness that startled her.
"'Father knows best, perhaps!' she replied, turning her eyes to mine, I thought, with calmness.
"'Laura,' said I, again taking her hand, for I was once more subdued by her beauty, 'I love you with my whole soul, and must continue to love you. Ay, were you even to spurn me with your foot, so indissolubly have my affections grown to your image, that my bleeding heart would turn in adoration to the smiter. And I fondly hoped and believed that the pa.s.sion was returned--indeed, I had your a.s.surance of the fact; nay, think not I design to reproach you. It were bootless, had I the heart to do it. Be a.s.sured that were you not only cruel to me, but steeped in crime and guilty of injustice to the whole human race, I would still be your friend were all others to forsake you. Deem me never your foe, or capable of ever becoming such. May heaven bless you! We part--but, under _any_ circ.u.mstances, should adverse fortune overtake you and I can be of service, I beg you not to hesitate to apply to me. You will find me still your friend. I will not attempt to reverse the decision which you have made. However humiliating and poignant the thought may be that I was unconsciously the means of introducing the _object_ that influenced your decision, yet I will not murmur, neither will I become _his_ enemy, for your sake. I hope you will be happy. I pray that heaven may incline your heart to be true and _constant_ to Wold.'
"'I hope so,' said she in a low tone.
"'Laura,' said I, rising, 'you confess, then, that Wold possesses your love?'
"'Yes,' said she; 'but I cannot help it!'
"'Farewell!' said I, kissing her yielding hand, and turning deliberately away, though with the sensation of one stunned by a thunderbolt. I returned home, and threw myself like a loathsome carca.s.s upon my couch. I could not even think. My mind seemed like some untenanted recess in the unfathomable depths below. Instantaneous death, and even eternal perdition afterwards, could have presented no new horrors then. It was haply the design of Providence that the thought of self-destruction should not occur to me. With the means in my reach, I would in all probability have rushed, uncalled and unprepared, into the presence of an offended Creator.
"A fever and delirium, such as possessed the poor youth lying there, ensued. Under the kind care of my preceptor, my malady abated in a few weeks; and, as I recovered, a change took place in my sentiments regarding the events that produced my illness. My pride rose up to my relief, and I resolved to overcome the effects of my disappointment.
Yet my heart melted in tenderness when I recalled the blissful moments I had known with Laura. But I determined to prosecute my plans of life as if no such occurrence had transpired.
"A few days after bidding Laura adieu, she returned to Boston, accompanied by Wold. Wold obtained his diploma while I was writhing with disease. Even the loss of my degree was now borne with patience and resignation. I forgave Wold, and implored him to make Laura happy.
He promised faithfully to do so when on the eve of setting out with her. I did not desire to see her myself, but sent my forgiveness and blessing.
"In a few months my diploma was obtained, and I commenced the practice under the most favourable circ.u.mstances. My late preceptor was now my partner. Nearly a year elapsed before Wold returned to New York. But a rumor preceded him which again opened all the fountains of bitterness in my heart. It was said (and only two or three were possessed of the secret) that he had betrayed and ruined the lovely Laura! I sought him, to ascertain from his own lips if he had truly committed the act imputed to him. I resolved to avenge her! But Wold avoided me. I could not obtain his ear, and all my notes to him remained unanswered.
Despairing of getting an immediate answer from him, I repaired to Mrs.
Arras. Her house was in gloom and sorrow. When she appeared, my heart sank within me to behold her sad and mournful brow. She pressed my extended hand, while a flood of tears gushed from her eyes.
"I knew by the disconsolate aspect of the aunt that the niece had been dragged down from her high estate of virtue, fortune, and fame. I sat down, and bowed my head in sorrow many minutes before the first word was spoken. I still loved Laura. What could I say? how begin?
"'It is true!' I at length exclaimed, rising up, and pacing the floor rapidly, while many a tear ran down my cheek.
"'Alas! it is too true,' iterated Mrs. Arras.
"'The black-hearted villain!' I continued.
"'Ah, Mr. Glenn, her fate would have been different, if your addresses had not been so cruelly spurned! G.o.d knows I was not to blame!' said she.
"'No, Mrs. Arras,' said I; 'had your will been done, I had not been made miserable by the bereavement, nor the beautiful, the innocent--the--Laura, with all her errors, dishonoured, ruined, crushed! But the betrayer, the viper that stung her, still breathes. I loved her--I love her yet--and I will be her avenger!' Saying this, I rushed away, heedless of the matron's half-uttered entreaties to remain and to desist from my plan of vengeance.
"There was a young student of my acquaintance, a brave, chivalrous, n.o.ble Virginian, to whom I imparted Laura's sad story. He frankly agreed with me that the venomous reptile in the human shape that could beguile an unsuspecting and lovely girl to minister to his unhallowed desires, and then, without hesitation or remorse, abandon her to the dark, despairing shades of a frowning world, while he crawled on to insinuate his poison into the b.r.e.a.s.t.s of new victims, should be pursued, hunted down, and exterminated. Yet there was but one way for me to punish Wold. The ignominy of the act, and the indignation of a virtuous community were to him matters of indifference. The circle in which he moved would smile at the misfortune of his victim, and applaud his address, were the affair published. I resolved that he should answer it to me alone. I had sworn in my heart to be Laura's avenger.
"I penned a message which was delivered by my young Virginian friend in person. Wold said he had no quarrel with me, and strove to evade the subject. He sent me a note, demanding wherein he had ever wronged me, and stating that he was ready and willing to _explain_ any thing that might have offended me. I returned his note, with a line on the same sheet, informing him that I was the friend of Laura; and that he must either meet me in the manner indicated in my message, or I would publicly brand him as a dastardly scoundrel. He bit his lip, and referred my friend to one of his companions in iniquity, a Mr. Knabb, who lived by the _profession_ of cards and dice. It was arranged that we should meet on one of the islands near the city, and that it should be the next morning. This was what I desired, and I had urged my friend to effect as speedy a consummation of the affair as possible.
All the tumult and perturbation that raged in my bosom on parting with Laura had returned, and the throbbing of my brain was almost insufferable. It was with difficulty that my young friend prevailed upon me to embrace the few intermediate hours before the meeting to practice with the pistol. I heeded not his declaration that Wold was an excellent shot, because I felt convinced that justice was on my side. I thought that the criminal must inevitably fall. However, I consented to practice a little to quiet his importunity. Truly, it seemed that his urgent solicitation was reasonable enough, for the first fire my ball was several feet wide of the mark. I had never fired a pistol before in my life. But there was no quivering of nerve, no misgiving as to my fate; for notwithstanding I was aware of being a novice, yet I entertained a conviction, a presentiment, that the destroyer of my Laura's innocence would fall beneath my hand. The next fire I did better, and soon learned to strike the centre.
"We were all on the ground at the hour appointed. While the seconds were arranging the necessary preliminaries, Wold, finding that my eyes rested steadily upon him, endeavoured to intimidate me. There was a bush some thirty paces distant, from which a slim, solitary sprout ran up several feet above the rest of the branches. He gazed an instant at it while I was marking him, and then raised his pistol, and fired in the direction. The sprout fell. Turning, his eyes met mine, while a slight smile was visible on his lip. The effect did not realize his hopes. I looked upon the act with such cold indifference that he at first betrayed surprise at my calmness, and then exhibited palpable signs of trepidation himself. He beckoned Knabb to him, and, after a brief conference in a low tone, his second returned to my friend, and inquired if no amends, no reconciliation, could avert the exchange of shots. My friend reported his words to me, and my reply was that nothing but the rest.i.tution of the maiden's honour--instant marriage--would be satisfaction. Wold protested--marriage was utterly impossible under existing circ.u.mstances--but he would do any thing else. But nothing else would answer; and I insisted on proceeding to business without further delay. Wold heard me, and became pale. When we were placed at our respective stations, and while the final arrangements were being adjusted, I thought his replies to his friend's observations betrayed much alarm. But there was no retreat. I was never calmer in my life, I even smiled when my careful friend told me that he had detected and prevented a concerted plan that would have given Wold the advantage. The word was given. Wold's ball struck the earth before me, and threw some sand in my face. Mine entered the seducer's side! I saw him gasp, reel, and fall, while the blood gushed out on the beach. My friend hurried me away, and paused not until he had placed me in a stage just starting for Philadelphia. I clasped his hand in silence, and the next moment the horses plunged away at the crack of the driver's whip, and we were soon far on the road.
Reflection ere long convinced me that I had been guilty of an unjustifiable act. If it was no crime in the estimation of men, it was certainly a grievous transgression in the eyes of G.o.d! I then trembled. The bleeding form and reproachful stare of Wold haunted my vision when the darkness set in. Oh, the errors, in act and deed, of an impetuous youth thrown upon the world with no considerate friend to advise him! The pity I felt for Laura was soon forgotten in the horrible thought that I was a MURDERER! Oh, the anguish of that night!
Why did I not leave Wold to the judgment of an offended G.o.d? Why did I not permit him to suffer the gnawing of the canker that must ever abide in his heart, instead of staining my hands with his blood?
Freely would I have abandoned every hope of pleasure in the world to have washed his blood away!
"When I arrived in Philadelphia, with a heavy heart, I sought a quiet hotel, not daring to confront my uncle with such a tale of woe and crime. For several days I remained in my chamber without seeing any one but the servant that brought my food. At length I asked for a New York paper. For more than an hour after it was brought I could not summon courage to peruse the hated tragedy. Finally I s.n.a.t.c.hed up the sheet convulsively and glanced along the columns. When my eyes rested upon the paragraph I was in quest of, I sprang to my feet in ecstasy.
The wound had not been fatal! Wold still lived!
"In a twinkling I was dressed and on my way to my uncle's residence.
Notwithstanding there was a dreadful epidemic in the city, and hea.r.s.es and mourners were pa.s.sing every few minutes, I felt within a buoyancy that defied the terrors of disease and death.
"But it seemed that disaster and desolation were fated to attend me whithersoever I turned. A gloom brooded upon my heart when I approached my uncle's mansion, and found the badge of mourning at the door. I paused and asked the servant who was dead. He informed me that my uncle alone remained. His wife and children, all had been consigned to the tomb the day before, and he himself now lay writhing with the fell disease. I rushed in and entered the sick chamber. It was the chamber of death. My uncle pressed my hand and died. I followed him to the grave, the chief and almost only mourner.
"I returned and shut myself up in the mansion, bewildered and stupefied. I was now the possessor of immense wealth. But I was unhappy. I knew not what to do to enjoy life. Gradually the pestilence abated and disappeared, and by degrees the gloom that oppressed me subsided. At the end of a few months, I was informed by my young Virginian friend that Wold had entirely recovered. I likewise received a letter from Mrs. Arras, stating that Judge ____ had sought out Laura, (who had been enticed to an obscure part of the city,) and, as her misfortune had been kept a profound secret among the few, he forgave the offence, and once more extended to her a father's love and a father's protection. I need not say that a blissful thrill bounded through my veins. Wold was living, and Laura not irrecoverably lost.
Yet I did not then deem it possible that I could, under such circ.u.mstances, ever desire to possess the once adored, but since truly fallen, Laura. But I experienced a sweet gratification to be thus informed of the prospect of her being reinstated in society. My love was not yet wholly extinguished!
"When it was generally known that I possessed great riches, a crowd of flatterers and sycophants hovered around me. I was a distinguished guest at the mansions of the fashionable and great, and had in turn many brilliant parties at my residence. But among the tinsel and glitter of the gay world I sought in vain for peace and happiness.
Many beautiful and bewitching belles lavished their sweetest smiles upon me, but they could not re-ignite the smothered flame in my bosom.
Wine could only exhilarate for a moment, to be succeeded by a gnawing nausea. Cards could only excite while I lost, to be succeeded by irritability and disgust.
"Thus my time was spent for twelve months, when I suddenly conceived the resolution to seek a union with the ill-fated Laura, notwithstanding all the obloquy the world might attach to the act. I still loved her in spite of myself. I could not live in peace without her, and I determined without delay to offer her my hand, heart, and fortune. I set out for Boston, and on my arrival instantly proceeded to the residence of Judge ____. Again my evil star was in the ascendant. Desolation and death presided in Judge ____'s family. The ominous badge of mourning greeted me at the threshold; Laura's mother had just been consigned, broken-hearted, to the cold grave. The venerable Judge bowed his h.o.a.ry head to the blows that Providence inflicted. He could not speak to me. His reply to my offer in relation to his child was only a flood of tears. He then retreated into his library and locked the door. An aged domestic told me all. Laura had abandoned her parental roof, and voluntarily entered one of those sinks of pollution that so much degrade human nature! I stood upon an awful abyss. The whirlpools of deceit, ingrat.i.tude, indifference, and calumny, howled around me, and the dark floods of sensual corruption roared below. Turn whithersoever I might (alas, I thought not of heaven!) gloom, discord, and misery seemed to be my portion.
"I hurried back to Philadelphia, and strove to mitigate my grief in the vortex of unrestrained dissipation. I lavished my gold on undeserving and unthankful objects. I cared not for life, much less for fortune. I was the victim of a frenzy that rendered me reckless, and bereft me of calm meditation. My frantic laughter was heard at the gaming-table, and my plaudits were boisterous at the theatre, but I was a stranger to enjoyment. There was no pleasure for me. My brawling companions swore I was the happiest and n.o.blest being on earth. But I knew too well there was not a more miserable fiend in h.e.l.l.
"At length disease fortunately arrested my demoniac career before my wealth was expended. It was my good fortune to secure the services of a distinguished and skillful physician. He was a benevolent and universally esteemed _Quaker_. His attention was not only constant, but soothing and parental. His earnest and tender tones often made me weep. When I recovered, I resolved to amend my life. This _friend_ had applied a healing balm to my aching heart. I determined to prosecute my profession, and before a year elapsed my exertions began to be crowned with success.
"I was a frequent attendant at the lectures, and on terms of the closest intimacy with the professors. Indeed, I had a prospect of a professorship myself. I devoted my attention particularly to the anatomical department of my studies, which I preferred; and it was in this department of the inst.i.tution that I would probably be installed in a few months. The gentleman who occupied that chair was about to resign, and, being my friend, used his influence to procure my election.
"My medical friend invited me one evening to be present at a dissection, which promised to be one of extreme interest. He described the subject as one that had elicited the admiration of the cla.s.s. He said it was a female of perfect proportions, but who had recently been an inmate of a brothel of the lowest description. She had, in a state of beastly inebriation, fallen into the fire. Yet, with the exception of a small but fatal orifice in the side, her form and features remained unaltered. I consented to meet him at the hour appointed, and made my arrangements accordingly.
"That evening there were many more persons in the dissecting-room than usual. I had now become much more cheerful, and enjoyed the frank greetings of my many friends with a relish and an ardour that had hitherto been unknown to me. Many flippant remarks and careless observations were exchanged in relation to the business before us. We had become accustomed to such scenes, and habit had rendered us callous to the reflections and impressions generally produced when gazing upon the cold lineaments of the dead. Dissection was an indispensable act. It had been resorted to under the deliberate conviction that it was necessary to the perfection of science, and in a great degree redounded to the welfare and preservation of the living. To us the pale inanimate limbs, and the attenuated, insensible bodies of the dead brought no disagreeable sensations. We cut and sawed them with the same composed indifference with which the sculptor hews the marble.
"'This is a beautiful subject we have to-night, Glenn,' observed one of my friends, as we approached the dead body. He then threw up the white cloth, and exposed the corpse, the head being still obscured. A breathless silence reigned, while all gazed at the lifeless form in admiration. She was a perfect Venus! Not having been wasted and shrivelled by disease, the symmetry of her lineaments was preserved in all the exactness of life and health. Her bust was full, plump, and the skin of the most exquisite whiteness, except where it had been marred by the fire that caused her death. Her limbs surpa.s.sed any model I had ever beheld, round and tapering, smooth and white as ivory. Her ankles were most admirably turned, and her feet of the smallest dimensions. Her handsome and gently swelling arms were covered with a slight gauze of short, dark hair, through which the snowy whiteness of her skin was displayed to greater advantage. Her hands were extremely delicate, and indicated that she had been accustomed to ease and luxury.
"I was requested to open her breast and exhibit to the students the formation and functions of the heart. She was lying on her back, on a long narrow table, around which the students stood gazing at her fair proportions. Some reflected in sorrow that so beautiful and lovely a being should die and be conveyed to the dissecting-room; while others joked and laughed in a light unfeeling manner. When about to make an incision with the sharp glittering steel in my hand, for the first time since I had graduated, I confessed that my nerves were too much affected by the sight of the subject to proceed, and I begged my friends to be patient a few minutes, during which I would doubtless regain my accustomed composure.
"'What was her name?' I inquired of the friend who had accosted me on my entrance.
"'Haven't you heard?' said he, smiling--'I thought you all knew her.
Nearly every person in the city has heard of her, for she was the most celebrated and notorious "fallen angel" in the city--celebrated for her unrivalled beauty and many triumphs, and notorious for her heartless deceit and reckless disregard of her own welfare. She has led captive many an unguarded swain by a pa.s.sing smile in the street, and then unceremoniously deserted him to join some drunken and beastly party in an obscure and degraded alley.'
"'Her name--what was her name?' I again asked, once more taking up the knife, my nerves sufficiently braced by the above recital.
"'Anne R____,' he replied; 'I thought,' he continued, 'no one could be ignorant of her name, after hearing a description of her habits.'
"'_All_ of us,' I continued, rallying, 'are not familiar with the persons and names of the "fallen angels" about town. But let us look at her face.' Saying this, I endeavoured to lift the white cloth from her head, but finding that the resurrectionist had tied a cord tightly round the muslin enclosing her neck and head, I desisted.
"'Her face is in keeping with her body and limbs,' said my merry friend; 'she was a perfect beauty. I have seen her in Chestnut Street every fair day for the last six months, until she got drunk and fell in the fire.'