What Every Woman Knows Part 9

COMTESSE [smiling divinely, and speaking with such a pretty accent]. I hope one is not in the way. We were told we might wait.

MAGGIE [bravely climbing out of the basin]. Certainly--I am sure if you will be so--it is--

[She knows that DAVID and her father are very sorry for her.]

[A high voice is heard orating outside.]

SYBIL [s.c.r.e.w.i.n.g her nose deliciously]. He is at it again, Auntie.

COMTESSE. Mon Dieu! [Like one begging pardon of the universe] It is Mr.

Tenterden, you understand, making one more of his delightful speeches to the crowd. WOULD you be so charming as to shut the door?

[This to DAVID in such appeal that she is evidently making the pet.i.tion of her life. DAVID saves her.]

MAGGIE [determined not to go under]. J'espere que vous--trouvez--cette--reunion--interessante?

COMTESSE. Vous parlez francais? Mais c'est charmant! Voyons, causons un peu. Racontez-moi tout de ce grand homme, toutes les choses merveilleuses qu'il a faites.

MAGGIE. I--I--Je connais--[Alas!]

COMTESSE [naughtily]. Forgive me, Mademoiselle, I thought you spoke French.

SYBIL [who knows that DAVID admires her shoulders]. How wicked of you, Auntie. [To MAGGIE] I a.s.sure you none of us can understand her when she gallops at that pace.

MAGGIE [crushed]. It doesn't matter. I will tell Mr. Shand that you are here.

SYBIL [drawling]. Please don't trouble him. We are really only waiting till my brother recovers and can take us back to our hotel.

MAGGIE. I'll tell him.

[She is glad to disappear up the stair.]

COMTESSE. The lady seems distressed. Is she a relation of Mr. Shand?

DAVID. Not for to say a relation. She's my sister. Our name is Wylie.

[But granite quarries are nothing to them.]

COMTESSE. How do you do. You are the committee man of Mr. Shand?

DAVID. No, just friends.

COMTESSE [gaily to the basins]. Aha! I know you. Next, please! Sybil, do you weigh yourself, or are you asleep?

[LADY SYBIL has sunk indolently into a weighing-chair.]

SYBIL. Not quite, Auntie.

COMTESSE [the mirror of la politesse]. Tell me all about Mr. Shand. Was it here that he--picked up the pin?

DAVID. The pin?

COMTESSE. As I have read, a self-made man always begins by picking up a pin. After that, as the memoirs say, his rise was rapid.

[DAVID, however, is once more master of himself, and indeed has begun to tot up the cost of their garments.]

DAVID. It wasn't a pin he picked up, my lady; it was L300.

ALICK [who feels that JOHN's greatness has been outside the conversation quite long enough]. And his rise wasn't so rapid, just at first, David!

DAVID. He had his fight. His original intention was to become a minister; he's university-educated, you know; he's not a working-man member.

ALICK [with reverence]. He's an M.A. But while he was a student he got a place in an iron-cementer's business.

COMTESSE [now far out of her depths]. Iron-cementer?

DAVID. They sc.r.a.pe boilers.

COMTESSE. I see. The fun men have, Sybil!

DAVID [with some solemnity]. There have been millions made in sc.r.a.ping boilers. They say, father, he went into business so as to be able to pay off the L300.

ALICK [slily]. So I've heard.

COMTESSE. Aha--it was a loan?

[DAVID and ALICK are astride their great subject now.]

DAVID. No, a gift--of a sort--from some well-wishers. But they wouldn't hear of his paying it off, father!

ALICK. Not them!

COMTESSE [restraining an impulse to think of other things]. That was kind, charming.

ALICK [with a look at DAVID]. Yes. Well, my lady, he developed a perfect genius for the iron-cementing.

DAVID. But his ambition wasn't satisfied. Soon he had public life in his eye. As a heckler he was something fearsome; they had to seat him on the platform for to keep him quiet. Next they had to let him into the Chair.

After that he did all the speaking; he cleared all roads before him like a fire-engine; and when this vacancy occurred, you could hardly say it did occur, so quickly did he step into it. My lady, there are few more impressive sights in the world than a Scotsman on the make.

COMTESSE. I can well believe it. And now he has said farewell to boilers?

DAVID [impressively]. Not at all; the firm promised if he was elected for to make him their London manager at L800 a year.

COMTESSE. There is a strong man for you, Sybil; but I believe you ARE asleep.

SYBIL [stirring herself]. Honestly, I'm not. [Sweetly to the others] But would you mind finding out whether my brother is drawing to a close?

[DAVID goes out, leaving poor ALICK marooned. The COMTESSE is kind to him.]