Welcome To Hard Times Part 3

Well I put the board back in place and I sat52 E. L> Doctorow down against the sod wall so I could watch and keep the drunks away. I sat there sipping the whiskey Molly didn't want; it was good whiskey and it warmed my gullet, but the rest of me grew cold in that chilly air. The windmill creaked in the darkness and one of the horses would nicker now and then and I must have heard twenty verses of that song rising out of the tent. But what I listened to was the talk coming through the sod wall at my back.

"Go ahead," it was Molly's voice, "take a look. Go on now, is it bleeding back there?"

"No."

"Alright, you're a good boy ... I knew your Pa."

"Yes."

"He liked Flo-"

"Yes."

"He's dead now, for all the good it did him."

There was no answer, but a burst of shouts and laughing came over from the tent.

"Why d'you cry!"

"I-I ain't."

"So he's dead. There's worse than that, look at me. You don't have to cry for Fee. How old are you?"

"He said twelve."

"When?"

"I don't-I don't remember."

"Twelve. Well you're small for your age. Go on and eat up that prairie cake, you want to grow into a man don't you? Oh G.o.d my back is on fire, oh Christ! ... Go on and eat, little boy, I can tell you a man is hard enough to be even with proper eatin'!"

Later I fell asleep sitting there and through the53 night I kept waking to the shrieks of the women or the roar of the men. The light streaming from the tent fixed in a yellow square on my mind and from time to time I saw figures buck through it and disappear like phantoms beyond its edge. Toward the dawn I was aware of some mules trotting off and when the night lifted and I woke, stiff in the grey light, I could see miners sleeping all around like stones.

I got up and walked about and came on Angus Mcellhenny: he was slumped and snoring in Hausenfield's old bathtub which sat out in back of the ruins like some stranded schooner. The sight of Angus that way did not cheer me up, I felt a great melancholy looking on him in the gloom of the grey morning. What good anyone could come to on this ashen townsite I could not see.

As the day came up I found enough to do: I mixed up more batter for our breakfast, I looked for a pot for Molly's use, I knocked a frame to- gether for the door of the dugout, I gathered chips for fire from under the feet of the animals still tethered near the tent, I took the Major's pony out where there was some brush he could work on. As the sun got higher the miners began to stir, and one by one they got up cussing or groaning, and they left. I heard one man say to his mule: "Now Blossom you walk nice and easy so as old Jake's head don't topple." And another, that pimply boy, who looked sick and miserable in the daylight, came over with a crumpled letter in his hand.

"I always post my letters with Mr. Maple," he said to me.

"Well Ezra's gone,"I said.54 "Alright, you can hold my letter for the stage." He brought two cartwheels out of his pocket and put them in my hand. "It's two dollars the ounce and I never say more than an ounce's worth."

He was off before I could say yes or no, and I think it was this as much as anything which caused things to go as they did. Zar the Russian was climb- ing down from his wagon with a whistle on his lips when he saw the boy give me the letter and ride off. He b.u.t.toned his shirt and called to me. Together we built up a fire and he brewed some real coffee and gave me a mug. Then, sitting on the ground, he asked me to tell him what, truly, had happened to the town. I told him.

"So," he said, "was a sudden man."

"That's right."

He pointed to the boy's letter which I had put in my shirt pocket: "And town is gone but use for town may not be gone. Am I right?"

"You're right."

"And will stage come again?"

"I reckon. If it pays."

"Will come stage again. Will come miners again!" He couldn't contain himself at the idea, he jumped up and began pacing and pulling his beard, a round barrel of a man muttering to himself in Russian. I drank the hot coffee and watched him. He stopped to look around: he looked at the windmill, he looked at the rock hills, he turned a full circle, looking east over the rubble of the burnt-out street and looking south over the flats to the horizon. The sun was at noon and it bleached the flats almost white with shimmers of yellow or pale green where the ground dipped or lay in the shadow of a. cloud.

"Frand," he said taking a deep breath, "what do55 you smell?" He looked at me: "You smell the coffee? You smell the horse? You smell the b.u.m in the air?"

I nodded. "Ah, you have not the merchant's nose. You know what I smell? The money!" He looked at me and that gold tooth showed out through his beard and he was laughing hard, hold- ing his hands on his sides and shaking fit to bust. He laughed so loud that Jimmy came out of the dugout to see.

"You unnerstand what I'm telling you, frand," Zar said. "We shall be neighbors here!" He leaned over and slapped me on the shoulder. Still laugh- ing he walked quickly over to the tent and went inside.

Well his coffeepot was still on the fire so I filled my cup again and motioned for Jimmy to come over.

"Drink this up Jimmy," I said. He took the coffee without a word. I noticed he looked better with a good night's sleep in back of him, those Fee eyes were not so deep in his head.

"Is Molly still asleep?"

"No. She's saying words."

"What?"

"She's saying words to herself. With that cross."

"Is she praying?"

"Yes, she's praying."

When he finished I filled the cup again. "Take this to her," I said, "she'll take it from you. Maybe a cup of coffee is what she's praying for."

Walking carefully Jimmy went toward the dug- out. But then some loud protest caterwauled from the tent and he stopped for a moment and looked back at me.56 "Go ahead," I called, "that's just those people."

I put more water in the Russian's coffeepot and set it back on the fire. Then I stood listening to the awful sounds from the tent. The ladies were sleep- ing in there and Zar had gone in to tell them they were going to be founders of a new town. It was a furious racket. I could hear him shout and I could hear them shout back. I figured the only one not putting up a squawk was the Chinese, and I was right. In a few minutes she pushed the flap aside and came out limping a little, to stare at the rocks and the flats and the ruins.

I had an idea at that moment. I went over to the bathtub and rolled Angus out on the ground. He didn't even miss a snore. I dragged the tub back to the well, washed it out as best I could, and filled it with pails of water. I could see the sun shaking in that water and it showed back the blue sky. Given time to warm in the day's heat it would be an inviting thing; I have my share of cunning.

As I waited the argument inside the tent fell off until I could hear only one of the women standing up to Zar's tirades. She appeared outside and it was the plump one, Mae. Mae stalked over to the wagon and climbed in and started to throw things over the side. A pot, a blanket, a carpetbag. "I ain't goin' to, no sir," she was yelling, "y'all can fry here in this hole for all I care!"

Zar had followed her and he was standing by waving his fist: "You think you are too good for this place! You think you know better than Zar what to do! I will kill you with my hands, Maech- ka!"

For answer she threw out an oval looking gla.s.s57 and it caught him square on the side of the head. I could have laughed but the Russian roared with rage. Jumping up on the wagon he stuck his arm in- side and pulled the woman out and threw her to the ground.

"Hey Zar!" the tall one, Jessie, called. "None of that!" She and Adah were standing in front of the tent, red-eyed, watching the battle. In the bright daylight and rumpled with sleep, none of the women looked too good. Their face paint was rubbed off and their hair was hanging and they all looked the worse for wear.

"I say what we do, no one else!" Zar was shout- ing. And to make his point he was kicking Mae as she tried to get up. When she got to her feet and tried to run he knocked her down and kicked her again. She was screaming and he was saying. "You will shod up, shod up!"

I ran over and pulled him away from the girl, she had given up trying to get away and was just lying there curled up and crying with her head be- tween her arms. Zar let me lead him away but he turned every few steps to curse her in Russian.

The Chinagirl had run inside the tent when Zar .came out but Jessie and Adah went over to Mae and helped her up. Adah put her arm around the bruised girl and mothered her. Witnessing this I was ashamed of myself. But I left Zar sitting cross- legged and surly by his cooking fire and I went over to the unhappy women and allowed they could use the bathtub by the well if they liked.

They must not have seen a tub in months. Mae forgot her peeve in a moment and she and Jessie stripped themselves clear down to their hides and58 E. L. DoctoroW took turns sitting in the tub, splashing and laugh- ing like children. They rubbed themselves with a piece of scented soap which Adah brought out to them. "It's genuine Parisiunl" Adah called to me. "Got it from some son of a b.i.t.c.h what stole it from a Colonel's lady!"

The Chinese stood off a ways just looking on, and she was smiling with delight. Those two jump- ing in and out of the tub, red down to their necks and up to their wrists but white everywhere else, were as mindful of anyone watching as if they had been whole dressed. One watcher was Jimmy, standing against the dugout, and. I couldn't tell him not to, I was another.

That evening I sat at the Russian's fire and I told him it would be a good idea to put up some tolerable buildings before the stage came. I re- membered that Fee bought some of his wood from the mines but that most of it he garnered from dead towns in the territory.

"So let us find such a town," Zar said.

"Well there's one I know of," I said, "name of Fountain Creek."

"Good. We go now." He stood up. This fellow had a better mind than Avery ever had but it would outrun you with your own intentions. I used to own a horse like that, you spurred him once and you couldn't hold him.

"Wait on," I said, "it's a half day's travel. You don't gain anything losing a night's sleep. We'll head out at sunup."

But once it was decided I began to worry the whole idea. It was all too quick for me; glad as I59 was to be staking out in earnest I couldn't believe in it altogether, almost against my will I found my- self glancing up at the shadows of the rocks. I didn't like leaving Molly and the boy untended for a day and maybe a night too.

Well I was up and waiting for the dawn. When the first light ran through the sky I went over to the Indian's shanty. As I feared, John Bear was in no humor to keep a watch out for anyone, he had not come out of his shack since Zar had knocked him down; and I saw him through the door sitting hunched up in front of a dead fire, he was deep in a brood. There isn't much worse you can do to an Indian than touch him. Bear wore a shirt and britches and he was living in this shack where ten years before he wouldn't have sat down under a roof-but for all he felt now he might just as well have stayed a blanket Indian.

In the chilly early morning Zar had unloaded his wagon and now he was stripping it down, pulling off the canvas and lifting the struts away. On the ground were trunks, sacks of grain, boxes, a barrel, bedding-he packed a lot in that wagon. The women were up and about, laboring to get it all inside the tent.

"I am soon ready, frand," he called. I went over to him and told him Bear was in the dumps. He wasn't too concerned, he said: "The savage will get over it." I remember those words.

"Well that may be," I said, "but meanwhile there's no one here to keep an eye out while we're gone."

"So?" He shrugged. I didn't know what to do, I didn't want to leave-especially with Molly in the60 dugout the way she was. But there seemed to be no way out of it. I finally asked around till the tall girl, Jessie, said she had an old dress she might be willing to sell. I offered her the two dollars that pimply boy had given me to post his letter.

"No," she said, changing her mind, "it's too good for Madam b.i.t.c.h in there."

"Give it him," Zar said, scowling.

So the exchange was made and I took the frock in to Molly. She was sitting up facing the doorway and she was holding the buffalo robe to her shoulders. Those green eyes in that peaked face made me feel again the queerness, the dismal shame of trying to speak to her. I had to clear my throat.

"Molly, things are going good, these people want to stake out here. I'm going off with the Russian to find a load of wood for building."

She nodded, she didn't seem to care.

"Jimmy'11 stay behind," I said. "And this is a dress."

It was to plague me for a long time, like this, that I couldn't tell what she would answer or if I might find a moment's favor in her eyes. She didn't say anything till I began to wonder if she'd heard me; and then I saw she was crying, not making a sound, just looking at the ground as if her whole life was laid out in front of her, while the tears ran down her face.

"Molly, it's a proper dress," I said. But she wouldn't take it. "Wear it yourself, Mayor." She sat there biting her lips and running her hand through her hair. I didn't know what to answer, so I went back outside with the dress.61 Jessie saw me and by the time I reached the tent she and Adah and Mae had stopped what they were doing to gather around me.

"I knew it," Jessie said, "why she suckles bob- cats, she'd do it with a horse, that b.i.t.c.h, the dress is too good for her."

"I'll be d.a.m.ned," Adah said.

"How do you like that Lady 'Bacon a.s.s," Jessie said to Mae, "that's somethin' ain't it?"

"Trouble with that ol' girl," Mae said slowly, "she were burned not hardly enough."

I was scratching the stubble on my chin; and listening to these women made me say something I don't understand to this day. Maybe I wanted to keep Molly from their scorn; maybe it was just some mournful deviltry in me.

"Molly's my wife," I said. I think I was just say- ing what I knew, that we had been wedded by the Bad Man from Bodie.

Well they looked at me as like struck dumb. I saw a doubt in Jessie's eye-she may have won- dered why I'd left my wife to lie in an Indian's shack where they found her-but it was gone in a second. I suppose there is nothing that a wh.o.r.e will respect more than a married woman. Those ladies stammered and blushed like virgins, and the next thing I knew Adah had taken me inside the tent, opened her trunk and dug something up from the bottom of it.

"This here's my wedding dress," she said to me, "I wore it once only, on my marriage day. Twenty years ago. My husband was a minister. This was his tent, those were his meetin' chairs, that was his melodeon and I played the hymns for him. I don't62 have a ring on m'finger 'cause I'm ashamed to wear it, but you ckn tell her this dress is clean,"

"Well now Miss Adah-"

"Go on, you take it." She folded this white dress over my arm. "It's simple, it will do her fine, poor woman, gettin' burned that way it's no wonder she ain't herself."

"That's right," said Jessie.

"And give him his two dollars Jessie," Mae said.

"That's right," Jessie said and she put the money back into my hand. "Gimme that old dress, it ain't fit, I ought to bury it."

"Ladies," I said, "you are awful kind." I was doing alright for a liar, but I meant what I said; it should have saddened me how kind they sudden- ly were except I knew what they might have done to Molly if they'd found she was one of their kind.

When I stepped out of the tent Zar was up on his wagon and his team was in place: "Wal frand," he called,"'I wait."

"Hold on a minute," I said. I found Jimmy around at the front of the dugout. He had been up and about for just a few minutes and the sleep was still in his eyes. He was using his fingers to comb the tail of the Major's pony.

"Jimmy," I said, "listen to me careful. I'm rid- ing out now to scare up some wood. I want you to give this dress to Molly after I leave. She needs some covering and she'll take it if you give it to her. While I'm gone I want you to keep the pony hitched to the rig and right by here. If you see any sign of that Bad Man take Molly and light out south to the wagon trails. Do you understand me?"

"Yes."

"You shouldn't have any trouble. Just don't63 stray, stay close by. Don't bother the Indian, he's in the dumps, he might be mean. Eat up those prairie cakes I made. Probably those ladies'U give you some hardtack if you ask them. Alright?"

"Yes."

"I'll be back." I started off and then I turned back: "If someone asks you how your Ma is feel- ing, they'll mean Molly."

A minute later I was up on the box beside the Russian; he snapped his whip and we skidded off with a clatter. I turned in my seat to look back: no one watched us go but Jimmy; he stood by the dugout staring after us, and as we drew further away and I looked back again he still stood there without moving. I wished I had said something to make him feel better, or maybe tousled his head.

The Russian drove his horses as if he was racing a train, I had to grab the box while the empty wagon swung out one way and then another be- hind the team. I pointed south and west across the flats and that's the way we went, rumbling, b.u.mping through the stumped-up dust. It was no situation for any kind of talk but the Russian didn't know it. He was one of those people proud of himself and his station in life and he shouted out his story as we rolled on under the sun, and he kept up even after the flats gave way to fixed swells of sand, spa.r.s.ely weeded, that stretched on ahead of the eye like a solid sea. I only half lis- tened, I was thinking of Molly and would she wear that dress. "Frand ... I come West to farm . . . but soon I learn, I see . . . farmers starve . . . only people who sell farmers their land, their fence, their seed, their tools ... only these people are rich.64 And is that way with everything . . . not miners have gold but salesmen of burros and picks and pans . . . not cowboys have money but saloons who sell to them their drinks, gamblers who play with them faro ... not those Who look for money but those who supply those to look. These make the money ... So I sell my farm ,. . and I think . .. what need is there I shall fill it... and I think more than picks and pans, more than seed, more even than whiskey or cards is need for Women. And then I meet widow Adah, owner of tent. . . And I am in business."

We reached Fountain Creek at noon. It stood in some tall yellciw gra.s.s by the banks of a dried-out arroyo, a deserted street of shackly buildings, cor- rals rotted by the weather, porches grown over with weeds. Before we got to work we took some pulls on the Russian's water bottle and ate some tack he had brought. Rusted tin cans were lying all over, half buried in sand, the hot pebbly wind was swinging the door of a roofless hut at the far end of the street. I spotted a mangy slant-eyed wolf crouched under a porch not fifty feet from where we were. He was watching us close.

"He's a hungry one," I said to Zar, "he'll go for these horses if we let him."

"So, we won't let him." Still chewing a mouth- ful, Zar reached for his shotgun and slowly brought it around and shot off both barrels at the wolf. The animal was out of there fairly, along with his mate that we hadn't seen, and the two of them tounded away along the arroyo.

"Their courage'll be back by and by," I said, "let's get to work."65 We went for the corrals first, untying what raw- hide lashes we could, cutting the rest, laying the poles down lengthwise on the wagon bed. Then we began collecting lumber from the frame houses and barns, staying away from places where the white ants were too thick, prying off boards, knocking away doors, pulling up porch planks, shakes, beams, shingles. There was so much rot in every- thing it was a wonder the buildings were upright at all. We worked all through the afternoon hardly stopping for a drink, coughing with the dust that rose, the sand blown by the wind. Our friends the wolves had cut down the mice and burrowing owls to be found but bugs and spiders scuttled away from our axe and pick. We worked till we judged the wagon could hold no more,. the wood was stacked a tall man's height above the driver's box. Then we went around picking up every nail in sight. And we came on a set of bright white human bones sitting in the arroyo. We stood looking at that skeleton. It was clean. I had to think what an indecency it is that leaves only the bones to tell what a man has been.

"Fountain Creek," Zar said. He was mopping his neck with his handkerchief. "Frand, you see the peril. Always the ghost city is one with name full of promise. It that not so? We must have care in our naming not to make this mistake ..."