Weakness: No Longer Weak Part 7

"Now would be good." I hung up the phone and placed it in my pocket. Finnley leaned against the door and stared at me. I held out my hand for him to give me the keys.

He shook his head. "I'm not letting you go alone," he said.

"Why? I'm capable of driving myself," I said.

"You are. But I can't let you. It isn't safe. If something were to happen to you and I wasn't there to stop it . . . I couldn't live with myself. I'll drive you. I won't go in with you, but I have to know that you're safe."

I sucked in a deep breath. "Does Jesse know we are here, at the house?"

"I'm not sure, but we need to leave first thing tomorrow for Vegas."

For all I knew, Jesse was on her way to making my nightmares a reality.

I threw on the hoodie and blue jeans that were tucked deep in the bottom of the suitcase, then I laced up a pair of old tennis shoes and walked out the door. Finnley followed behind me. Abbot sat in a Range Rover outside with the seat leaned back. I glanced at him, then back at Finnley.

"Is he going to sleep out here all night?"

Finnley opened my door, and I slipped inside. "Probably. He said he wasn't leaving. I'm not going to argue with him."

He started the car and I gave him the address. Finnley and fast cars seemed to go together. When he drove fast, he was in his element-calm, cool, and in control. I tilted my head and watched him as he switched lanes and weaved through traffic. Soon, we were exiting and heading toward the green sign with the mermaid. I almost forgot Abbot was following close behind until I saw the reflection of the Rover in the Starbucks's windows. Abbie's Mustang convertible was in the parking lot. She was already here.

Nervousness coated me. We hadn't seen each other since she'd left Vegas. So much had changed. Finnley squeezed my shoulder and gave me a smile. I couldn't help but stare at the plumpness of his bottom lip and how his teeth rested in the crease when he smiled. I made eye contact with him then swallowed, trying to drum up courage, and stepped out of the car. Abbot rolled down the window and waved Finnley over. He walked around the back of the car, and jumped into the Range Rover with Abbot. I could only imagine what they were discussing. I took one last look at them before stepping inside Starbucks.

The smells of freshly ground coffee beans and heaven filled my nose. Most of the tables were taken, but that was normal. I searched around and saw the back of Abbie almost immediately. She was sitting in the table we always sat at, with two cups of coffee. Almost as if she felt my eyes on the back of her head, she turned around and smiled. I smiled back. She always arrived before me and ordered our coffees. It was easy to fall back into the old routine with her.

For a moment it really did feel like old times, like I had never gone to Vegas, and we were meeting like we did every weekend. It would almost be easier to go back to that. Life seemed simpler then, or maybe I had been too nave to notice its complexity. I had learned so much about people in the past few months. I steadied my breathing and walked to her. She greeted me with a huge hug and a smile, and we sat. She was trying. Honestly, I thought it would be more awkward, that I wouldn't know what to say, but after the ice was broken, my nerves calmed.

Abbie sipped her coffee and asked me all sorts of general questions: when I was leaving, how long I had been in town, how life was.

"I don't know how to say this," I said. My voice was quiet, and for once, I was happy the machines, chatter, and music were loud. Her eyes searched my face, and I felt as though she were reading me like a book. Not much got past her either. Funny how I surrounded myself with that type of person.

"I'm afraid for my life," I said, finally admitting something I had never spoken out loud.

She licked her pink lips and leaned in closer to me, then she grabbed my hands and squeezed. Her eyes searched my face. "What is going on?"

"Jesse. She's a psycho b.i.t.c.h. She's jealous of Finnley and me. She wants me dead, and I keep having horrible nightmares that she finds me and does exactly that. I'm scared. I felt like I needed to see you just incase-"

"Don't you dare say it, Jennifer. Don't you f.u.c.king dare even speak that into existence. Finnley isn't going to let anything happen to you. He won't." She squeezed my hands and gave me a small smile. I'm not sure whether she believed her own words.

My emotions were in overdrive, and the urge to cry overcame me, but I didn't. I had to be strong. As a child, I was taught that crying was a sign of weakness. It was something that girls did, as if being a girl were a bad thing. I didn't want to be weak then, and I didn't want to be weak as an adult. The stigma of crying seemed to have followed me through life, and during times when crying was okay, when it was necessary to let emotions fully take over, I had refused it. I had denied that release and by keeping it bottled up. Eventually, when I did allow myself to fully give in to my feelings, I had doubted they would be able to stop, that my tears flow like a faucet with a stripped seal and never stop pouring. I swallowed it down and pushed it back, again.

"I've got something to tell you too," Abbie said. Her eyes darted around the room as if she were checking something. If someone had looked over at us, we would have looked like two grown women telling secrets, but it was much more than that. Much more was at stake.

"A woman came looking for you. She didn't say much. I'm not sure how she found me, but she asked a few questions," Abbie said.

My mouth fell open and I whispered, "Jesse."

"She didn't give her name, but I've never seen her before. She said she was related to you and asked where you were. She mentioned she had visited your house."

I closed my eyes to try and take control of the rollercoaster of emotions. Jesse was telling people she was related to me to learn more about me. She had stooped to a level so low, so despicable, and I had to tell Finnley and Abbot as soon as possible. What if she was at the house, staying in one of the rooms at this very minute? My paranoia kicked into overdrive.

"She seemed really nice and genuine," Abbie said.

"Most psychos do, Abbie. She is a dangerous woman. She will not stop until I'm dead. I'm not kidding when I say this. I am in danger, and I'm scared for myself, and for anyone who knows me. So you have to be careful. I'm not f.u.c.king kidding. She could have killed you."

Abbie looked at me, completely confused. "This woman didn't look like she would hurt a fly."

"What exactly did she look like?"

"Brown hair, skinny. She kind of had the same frame and look as you. You know, like you could be sisters or something."

My heart pounded. It was true that Jesse and I were around the same height and weight, and I supposed we sort of looked alike and had similar bone structure. If she had dyed her hair from blonde to brown, then I could almost see the resemblance.

"Come with me to Vegas. You can move into my old townhouse and I can provide protection. I have to make sure you're safe. I need to know that she won't hurt you. You're the closest thing to family that I have left."

Abbie tilted her head at me, and shot me a smile, shaking her head.

"I can't, Jenn. I've got too much going on. Plus, Mom hasn't been doing too well. I need to stay here in case she needs me. Don't worry about me. But Jenn, please forgive me for what I did. I know it's not the same as it used to be between us. I'm sorry for everything I said and for everything I did," she said.

"I should have told you about how I felt about Finnley. I shouldn't have lied, but you shouldn't have believed me either. We will make it through this. I'm just worried about you. I couldn't live with myself if something happened to you. Please come to Vegas," I said, pleading. I knew she saw the fear and worry in my eyes.

"You acted like you were happy being single. You dodged my questions about him. You were convincing in your demonization of him. But it was still my mistake, one that I'll have to live with. I should have never pursued him, and if I could go back in time and do it all differently, I would. I love you like a sister. We've been through everything together, and I can't stand the thought of losing you over my ridiculous lapse in judgment. I'm sorry. I want your friendship back. I miss you," she said.

I realized I should have told her the truth about my feelings instead of hiding them. She was my best friend, the closest person to me, the one who had been through h.e.l.l and back with me.

"I forgive you," I whispered.

She squeezed my fingers, and I noticed tears streaming down her face.

"It's okay," I said trying to calm her.

"I can't help the tears. I regret what I did so much. I'm so sorry." She placed her hands over her face and quietly cried it out.

"I know, Abbie. We're friends for life regardless. Nothing happened. We have to move forward with our relationship. But while you are here, I have to know you're safe. If you feel like you're in danger, please call me. Seriously."

Abbie wiped the tears from her eyes and slowly opened her coat jacket. Inside, I saw the handle of a gun. My mouth fell open for the second time that day, and my eyes widened. "You're packing?"

"Got my concealed carry license. Can never be too prepared. So please, don't worry about me. I'm going to be fine. You will too," Abbie said in a soft voice.

Abbie checked her watch then looked at me. "I don't want to leave, but I have to bring Mom dinner by eight. If you want, you can come with me. It will be fun. I promise."

"I shouldn't. Tell Mom I said hi and that I miss her. I promise once life settles down, I'm coming home and staying for a month. When I lived here, I hated it. I just wanted to get away. Now that I'm away, I just want to come home. They say home is where the heart is, but that's s.h.i.t. Home will always be here in this c.r.a.ppy little town with nothing to do. Home will always be here, but my heart is in Vegas and with Finnley. I can't live without him."

"You have to live, Jenn. Home will always be here when you want to visit. You're finally living and you're in love. It's one of the most beautiful things to witness. Enjoy it."

She stood and so did I. She gave me a hug, then walked out the door. I hadn't even taken a sip of my coffee. I grabbed it and brought it with me. Then I noticed Abbie had stopped at the Range Rover, so I picked up my pace. She glanced over at me and smiled before she walked to her car. Abbot sat there in the seat with a devilish grin slapped across his face.

"What the f.u.c.k was that?" I asked.

"Your friend's hot. I was just complimenting her," Abbot said.

"No. That's off-limits."

"Nothing is off-limits for me." He chuckled, and I rolled my eyes as he rolled up the window.

I slipped inside the BMW before I could slap that smile from Abbot's face.

Finnley started the car and shook his head at me while laughing. "You let him get to you too much. He knows that, so he makes sure to keep doing it."

"Sometimes he's so aggravating."

"That's Abbot. You'll learn to love him though. When he's not killing people, he's actually a pretty nice guy."

"Oh G.o.d. You say it so simply, like being a monster is normal."

He lifted his eyebrow at me and slammed on the gas. "Baggage comes with being the leader of the gang of London. If it's between us and someone else, he will always choose our safety. Have you ever heard the saying 'there is no free lunch'? It's the basic principle of economics, and well, it's true in all aspects. Nothing is free. Ever. Someone is paying for it somewhere. Abbot pays with his freedom."

JENNIFER.

Fourteen.

The sun had fallen behind the trees and its orange glow filled the sky. When it looked like this, it reminded me of early morning. We rode in silence, so the sounds of the road and revs of the engine filled the car. I looked in the side mirror and saw Abbot following our every lane change until we were exiting toward the house. An emotion bubbled inside me, one that meant change was coming, and soon it would completely boil over. When I caught sight of the Christmas lights, a smile touched my lips. From the end of the driveway, one could see the twinkling ten-foot Christmas tree through the open bay windows. I loved the way the house looked.

Finnley came around and opened my door. I grabbed my coffee and walked over to Abbot. When I knocked on the window, he narrowed his eyes at me. We had somehow acquired some weird brother and sister relationship. I rolled my eyes at him.

"Abbie said Jesse was going around asking questions about me. That she dyed her hair brown. I warned her to be careful, but . . ." I really didn't want to ask the next part, but I knew I had to. I turned and faced Finnley, then Abbot. "Can you make sure she's okay and that nothing horrible happens to her? I just . . . I would blame myself."

If anyone could protect Abbie, it was Abbot. The man was a warrior.

Finnley gave Abbot a nod, and Abbot gave me a small smile.

"Consider it taken care of," Abbot said, then turned the running lights off on the Rover.

"Thank you," I whispered to Finnley. I glanced at him, then turned and looked out from the porch. Home. Randomly, I thought about the sounds of summer and how I missed them. I'd sat on that porch countless times growing up. I'd cried, laughed, and mourned on those steps. The chill of the night air spread across my arms. Finnley opened the front door and waited for me with a s.e.xy smirk on his face.

When I stepped inside, he grabbed my arm and pulled me close. Our lips gently brushed up against each other's.

"I love watching you get lost in your thoughts. Sometimes I wish I knew what you were thinking," he whispered, and the softness of his voice carried me away to another place. Soft, sensitive Finnley still caught me off guard, and at times, it was hard for me to comprehend. I expected him to be an a.s.s every hour of the day, exchanging pointless banter with me, but that wasn't him. What we had now was miles away from senseless f.u.c.king. It was different. It was love.

"And I'm sorry for this weekend," he said.

I pushed away from him, then looked into his glimmering green eyes and knew he'd meant it.

"Whoa. No. Don't you dare be sorry. As long as I'm with you, nothing else matters. Nothing. Do you understand?"

"I'll make this up to you, even if it's the last thing I do."

The low-lights spread across the room, and all was quiet. I leaned against the front door and crossed my arms. Finnley moved toward me, erasing the s.p.a.ce between us. He laced his fingers with mine and brought my hand above my head. The warmth of our breaths swirled between us, then our mouths went into attack mode. I closed my eyes and fully took in the softness of his lips on mine. Each movement was slow, precise, and full of so much love. His tongue traced my mouth as if he were trying to memorize it. I almost lost it when Finnley sucked and nibbled on my bottom lip, then swept his hand down the side of my face and lifted my chin upward. He forced me to stare into his eyes. When I did, nothing mattered because I fell and got lost with him. Could I be stuck in a dream? Was this really my life? What had I done to deserve this?

Lightly, he brushed his lips across mine like the soft tips of b.u.t.terfly wings and ended the kiss with a smile on my mouth. My heart fluttered, and a knot of want tied in the pit of my stomach. Forcefully, I slipped my fingers in the loops of his pants and pulled him as close as he could get. The smell of his body, his soap, and the faint hint of cologne whisked me away. Finnley was all man and all mine.

He bent down and bit my neck, causing bursts of fireworks and pain to shoot through me. I ran my fingers through his hair and pulled his face to mine. "You keep on with that and you might regret it."

"No, Ms. Downs. I'll never regret anything with you, ever," he said.

"Call me Ms. Downs while you can, Mr. Felton." I smirked and he tried to kiss it away. Finnley grabbed my hand and led me up the stairs that no longer squeaked. I smiled thinking about how the house had changed but the memories of the little things were still there.

We walked into the bedroom, and I heard the click of the door locking.

"One day you'll be Mrs. Felton. When that happens, I'll be the happiest man alive," Finnley said. His voice was husky, low, and full of s.e.x appeal, want, and need. He unb.u.t.toned his shirt, and I stared at his sculpted abs and the pink wound from where the gunshot had grazed his side. I moved to him and gently brushed my hand against his side.

"Does it hurt?"

"Yes. But losing you would have hurt more."

I exhaled a deep breath through my mouth, then wrapped my arms around him and hugged his waist.

Finnley removed his shoes and socks, and lay on the bed. I undressed down to my underwear and bra, and he grabbed my hand and pulled me close to him. I laid my head on his bare shoulder and rested my arm over his stomach. With light fingers, he traced circles on the outside of my arm. Being with him like this made me feel alive, like a bird with its wings spread, soaring through summer clouds, free from the shackles that had once held me down. Everything I had ever wanted was mine. Just the thought of him, even though he was right beside me, stole extra beats of my heart.

Finnley propped himself up on one arm, brushed his fingers across my stomach, and trailed them up between my b.r.e.a.s.t.s. His touch was as sweet as his words.

"What are you doing to me?" I whispered.

"Loving you with everything I am."

He leaned over and kissed my shoulder. His long eyelashes brushed the tops of his cheeks.

"I love you, Finn."

"I love you more, Jenn."

The next morning, we woke with a start. No nightmares had ruined my sleep. I hadn't had one in days. I packed my things and set my suitcase by the door. We were due back at the airport in the afternoon, but before we left, I had one thing I had to do.

"Can we go to my parents' graves, please?"

"Of course," Finnley said as he zipped up the suitcase. We gathered everything and walked downstairs, where Mr. and Mrs. Hanley were serving a full breakfast to their guests. She lifted her head and smiled, trying to wave us over. She walked into the hallway, wiping her hands on her ap.r.o.n, and insisted that we eat.

"Thank you so much, but we really have to get going," I said.

She handed Finnley and me a m.u.f.fin each, gave us hugs, wished us safe travels, and demanded we come back soon.

"Thank you, Mrs.," Finnley said. British charm.