Was It Right to Forgive? - novelonlinefull.com
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"I do not speak to either of them. I have made a business of offending them. Yanna was the inventor of the Duval romance; and Alida Van Hoosen thinks her thoughts. They have been living together."
"I am awfully sorry you have offended them. Can you not be friends with Yanna?"
"I don't want to be friends with her. I have quarreled with Harry, too. The idea of Harry coming to tell me my sins! I suppose Yanna sent him. Well, he heard the truth about his own sins, for once in his life! Mamma, I have quarreled with every one but you."
As she was speaking, Harry entered. He took his mother in his arms, and then turned to Rose. "Good morning, Rose," he said pleasantly. But Rose looked past him, and without a word in reply, she left the house.
"I am sorry you have quarreled with your sister, Harry," said Mrs.
Filmer. "If ever she needed your countenance and aid, it is now."
"It is not my fault. Has she told you about the last----?"
"I have heard a dozen versions of the affair. Poor girl!"
"Mother, you ought not to condone her sins."
"You made no objections to my condoning your sins, Harry--much more flagrant ones, too. And I do not think your wife need to put on so many airs about poor Rose."
"Rose has wantonly wounded Yanna's feelings very often."
"Poor feelings! I wonder how they endured the pretty Cora's extravagances of every kind."
"Mother!"
"Well, Harry, there is no use in our quarreling. Where is Antony?"
"In Arizona."
"It is a great shame. I shall make your father go and see him."
"There is no necessity. A word of contrition from Rose will bring him home. Without that word, nothing will bring him. You had better get Rose to write to him. A dozen words will do."
"She will never write one."
"Then she had better get a divorce."
"And lose all Antony's money!"
"She has behaved shamefully to Antony. I will not talk any more about her."
"However, she is going to entertain quietly; and her own family _must_ support her. You may tell your wife I said so."
"Did you have a pleasant summer, mother?"
Then Mrs. Filmer began a long complaint of the weather, and the weary hours her husband spent in the libraries, and the exorbitant charges, and the dreadful laundry work, and finally she opened one of her trunks, and took out of it some presents for Yanna and the child. So the morning went rapidly away, and Harry stayed to lunch with his father and mother, and then went downtown and attended to some business for them; so that the day was all broken up and spoiled, and he resolved to go home and take Yanna her presents.
When he entered the parlor of his own home, he was astonished to see Yanna sitting at a little Dutch table, drinking tea with a woman in the regulation dress of the Salvation Army--astonished to see that she had been weeping; and still more lost in amazement when the guest stood up and faced him, for it was undoubtedly Cora Mitchin.
She looked with grave eyes straight at Harry, who had paused in the middle of the room, and said: "Mr. Filmer, I came here to-day to ask Mrs. Filmer's pardon. You may see that she has forgiven me."
"Miss Young," said Adriana, rising, "it is my wish that you tell Mr.
Filmer all that you have told me. He will be glad to hear it." And then she went quietly out of the room, leaving the two alone. For a moment Harry was angry. He did not like standing face to face with his transgression; and he was quite inclined to escape from the position in some way or other, when Cora said:
"May I tell you what has happened?"
"Is there any use now? If I can do anything, Cora----"
"No! no! Mrs. Filmer asked me to tell you. May I?"
Harry sat down, but not very graciously; and the young woman stood by the table, with her hand grasping the back of the chair from which Yanna had just risen. She was a very pretty young woman, and her peculiar dress was by no means unbecoming. If it had been, Harry perhaps might have been less willing to listen; though, as it was, he had a wandering idea that Cora was playing a trick--that she might have taken a wager she would enter his house and drink tea with his wife--that she might have wondered at him for not seeking her out, and contrived this plan to engage his attention. In fact, he did not at all believe in any confession Cora had made to his wife; and he was resentful of her presence under any guise on his hearthstone. So, though he sat down to listen, he did it ungraciously, and his voice was irritable as he said:
"I do not understand your little game, Cora; and I wish you would explain it as quickly as possible."
"Do you remember Mary Brady, one of the ballet girls?"
"Yes."
"She is dead. She sent for me one night in July. She was dying without a friend, and without a cent. I did what I could. I did what there was no one else to do, I tried to pray with her, and to tell her about a pitiful G.o.d and Christ."
"You!"
"Me. For I am the child of parents who loved G.o.d, and I have two little sisters whom I have sinned for, lest they should become sinners. I know I ought to have trusted G.o.d, but I thought He was never coming to help me--and so I took the devil's help. No one knows what the devil's wages are until they have earned them. Mary has taken his last coin, which is--death."
"Poor little girl! She was a merry sprite."
"Mirth was part of her bargain. She was dying while she was laughing"--and the face of the speaker was so instinct with grief that Harry suddenly found that all his suspicions were vanishing, and an irrepressible interest was taking their place.
"Well, Cora?"
"My name is Hannah--Hannah Young. My father and mother gave me that name, in the old meeting-house at Newburyport. It was the name registered in G.o.d's Book, and I would not see it on a play-bill; so I called myself--the other one. As I was telling you, I tried to talk to poor Mary, as I knew my mother would have talked to me. Alas! alas! it was too late!"
Harry looked up startled and uneasy.
"She had suffered so long and so cruelly, without anything to help or to relieve her pain. I brought her cold water and fruits and a doctor, and I told her that Christ saw all her trouble and pitied her, but she only said, 'It is not true! If He loved me He would have sent me help, when help might have saved me.' Then I got the Gospel, and I read it to her, and she cried wearily, 'I have heard it all before! I know He was loving and good, but that is all so long ago!' I said, 'Mary, if you could only pray!' and she asked angrily, 'To whom? To the fine ladies on Broadway, or to the men who preach now and then in the mostly closed churches?' I told her, 'Christ waits in this very room,' and she began to wail and cry out, 'It is not true! It is not true! Christ would have touched and healed me long ago!' Yes, in her very last moments she whispered, 'He does not know.' I shall never forget her eyes; no, not as long as I live. She went quite hopeless down the hard road to the grave; but I do believe now that the moment she touched the other side Jesus met and comforted her."
Harry did not answer. His eyes were cast down, and he was holding his right hand in his left, with a nervous, restless motion.
"After Mary's death I could not be the same. I felt that I would rather hire myself out to wash dishes than earn another sinful penny.
The day of her burial I went back to her room to pay the pittance due for its wretched shelter; and I sat and talked with the woman who owned the house a long time, so it was growing dark when I turned out of the court into the main street. It was a poor, quiet street, and the people were sitting on their doorsteps, or leaning out of their windows; and I saw a little crowd coming toward me, and they were singing. And as I met them, they ceased; and a woman a little in front, with an open Bible in her hand, cried out:
"'_Come unto Me, all ye that labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest._' And her clear, sweet call went down into my heart, and I began to weep and to pray as I walked through the streets; and after I got to my room, I locked the door and threw myself on my knees, on my face, and pleaded with Christ to forgive me and save me from my sins and myself. Oh! how I longed and wept for the purity I had lost and the faith I had cast aside! I was weary, fainting, but I would not rise. In a little while, I could not rise. I felt that the Savior was in the room. It seemed to me at first as if He would not be entreated, as if He would go away. But I had hands that clasped his feet, and caught his robe, and I would not let Him go until He forgave me."
"You knew that you were forgiven? How?"
"I knew it by the joy that filled my heart. I did not feel my body at all. I walked up and down, clasping my hands and saying, 'Christ, I thank Thee! Christ, I thank Thee!' And when the dawn began to break, a great, a wonderful peace came all over me; and I lay down and slept such a happy sleep; and when I awakened, I knew that the old life had pa.s.sed away, and that I was a different woman. Do you believe me, Mr.
Filmer?"
"Yes," answered Harry, very softly, "I believe you."