War Prisoner Chapter 17

Looking at Wanyan Xu again, Su Yi finally made up his mind. In a low voice he said: "But... even after all that... but in my heart, I am still very... I admire you deeply.” To express such thoughts was difficult for him; he had trouble articulating the words and was unable to say them without pauses. Wanyan Xu's eyebrows shot up, he shot Su Yi a look but Su Yi didn't dare to meet his eyes, afraid that he was going to be ridiculed. 

Su Yi simply closed his eyes, took a deep breath and continued: “Since your ascension, your lands have been governed well. Despite your desire for revenge, you have shown good judgement in choosing to consolidate your power and not sending troops to contest the border for three years. Most people would not be able to show such restraint. To gather intelligence on the conditions of my troops, you infiltrated my encampment alone. No one expected that you would take such a big risk, even though I regarded you as my enemy I could not help but applaud your courage and resourcefulness. I have now been captured and brought to Jin Liao and I can see that although this is a bitterly cold land, its administration is neat and tidy, and the country is bustling and prosperous beyond compare. Only an enlightened Son of Heaven [1] could accomplish such deeds. Although I personally don’t agree with your treatment of the death row convicts, I understand that you are trying to send your people the message that one should never lose hope and should never become despondent like a dog that has lost its master. Otherwise, Jin Liao's citizens would not have been able to recover so rapidly from the crushing blow of a heavy military defeat, rising like a phoenix from the ashes of adversity to become a strong country. I am grateful to you for not allowing your troops to hara.s.s the common people of my defeated country, I know you have your own selfish reasons for doing so, but it also shows the breadth of your vision. Su Yi deeply respects you, but I also have some fear of you. I don't know for a person such as yourself, the lengths you will go to before you are satisfied. Privately, I am thinking 'aii, if only the Great Qi also had a monarch such as you, perhaps her fate would have been different.' Wanyan Xu, every single word I've said has come from my heart. Do you understand? Even though I cannot yield to you, on the other hand neither do you require my talents. Don't be vexed over your failure to make me submit anymore. You have long conquered me through your anger, after all, am I not your prisoner? If you can oblige me, and let my body follow the fate of my country, when Su Yi has reached the underworld, you will have his eternal grat.i.tude.

He said these words in a rush. After finishing his long speech he lifted his eyes to look at Wanyan Xu, only to see that his face was expressionless. After a long pause, a hint of a smile began to show on the corners of his mouth, gradually spreading over his lips. Only then did Su Yi let loose a relieved sigh, thinking: he seems to be pleased with my words, most likely, he won't make things difficult for me anymore. 

However, Wanyan Xu said: “it’s rare that you would share your deepest thoughts, come over here, I [2] also have some heartfelt words I would like to tell you.”　

Su Yi couldn't help but feel that the situation had turned a bit surreal. He knew that once he had said his piece, he would be fated to accompany his country in her death. Wanyan Xu and him had many commonalities and could sympathize with each other, but an enemy is still an enemy. He would not surrender, and Wanyan Xu would not show mercy, nor should he show mercy. At this moment, he felt as if a heavy burden had been lifted off his shoulders; as long as Wanyan Xu had no more illusions about him, losing his life was nothing. The only regret he had was that he didn't die on the battlefield that day, to be buried forever under the swirling sands of the desert.

With lamentations in his heart, he rounded the table and walked step by step towards Wanyan Xu. Unexpectedly Wanyan Xu shot his hand out; Su Yi was caught unawares and could do nothing to prevent himself from tumbling into Wanyan Xu's embrace. Greatly alarmed, he started to struggle but his waist had been encircled by arms as unyielding as steel bands; he found it impossible to free himself. Pressing their faces together, Wanyan Xu said: “Don’t move, didn’t I already say that I too have some heartfelt words to say to you?”

Su Yi said urgently: “You can speak your mind without holding me. I’ve said so much to you, was I wasting my breath?” 

Wanyan Xu wore a smile while he caressed Su Yi’s face: “How could that be? I’ve never known that you think of me that way in your heart. I am delighted to know this.” 

Ignoring Su Yi's attempts to get free, he clutched Su Yi even closer, sighing: "Su Su, you are a general, but you have never partic.i.p.ated in palace intrigues. That’s why you do not know, to be an emperor is very difficult, although they have the most exalted status on earth, but they hardly ever hear a word of truth. They may have absolute authority over all under heaven, but they will never know if there are any trustworthy people around them. The emperor is the loneliest person in the world. For the sake of his throne, and his realm, he has to expend a lot energy and thought. The wiser the emperor, the more pitiable he is. I am no different, I have many pampered concubines and favoured officials around me but I still feel as lonesome as an unmarried man without a family. They excel at telling me words that are sweet to my ears, but I don't know which words have even an ounce of truth. When they are fearful, they dare not say it. When they hate, they dare not say so. Before me, their eyes will always be unclear, misted over with a layer of fog. Even I find it difficult to see their true intentions clearly. But Su Su, you are different from them. Your eyes are so limpid, as clear as a pure mountain spring, by just looking at them a moment I can tell your true feelings. After listening a while to you, I can tell if you are speaking the truth. Su Su, I’m very happy, and I’ve suddenly come to realize, it seems like I don’t hate you anymore, not even a little. My heart feels very warm now.” 

Right after he said this, he intimately gave Su Yi's earlobe a light nibble and with a hint of quiet laughter in his voice said: “What shall we do? I want you, not because I want to conquer you, not because of any other reasons, I just want you. There is still some daylight left, but I cannot wait. Su Su let's not bother with these matters anymore, alright?

Su Yi reaction was one of extreme fright, so horrified that his soul was close to flying off. His only intentions in baring his innermost thoughts to Wanyan Xu was to make him understand that actually, this prisoner in front of him deeply respected him and there was really no need for him to tax his mind and body to think of ways to force Su Yi's submission. Professing admiration could be counted as showing weakness, but was not as dishonourable as grovelling and begging. He never expected to shoot himself in the foot, with the result that the situation had become even more out-of-control. Before the wholly startled Su Yi could make a sound, Wanyan Xu was already carrying him towards the enormous bed that lay in the heart of the bedchamber.