Waltraute-san no Konkatsu Jijou - novelonlinefull.com
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As usual, Waltraute was stationed on the third runway of Bifröst.
The G.o.ddess of marriage Frigg, the G.o.ddess of beauty Freyja, and the other Valkyries were also sitting there, so the third runway had undergone a job change from transportation facility to party hall. Heimdallr the watchman had completely given up. He had switched his thought process over to concentrating all of the disasters to the third runway so that the other runways could run smoothly.
On this day, a new G.o.ddess arrived at the third runway.
It was the fertility G.o.ddess Iðunn who grew the apples of immortality.
Iðunn had a bandanna wrapped around her head and wore a waitress-like outfit made from simple country-style clothes. (And she had the extremely huge b.r.e.a.s.t.s one would expect of a fertility G.o.ddess.) She held a large basket filled with apples and she spoke up hesitantly.
“Um, it is just about apple season.”
“Oh, is it that time already?”
Waltraute took an apple of immortality out of the basket held out towards her. The red fruit almost looked transparent as if it was a ruby or something similar, but when its skin was peeled, it contained juicy white fruit. The fruits of the G.o.ds were quite strange.
It was not due to an intrinsic physical characteristic that the G.o.ds did not age; it was due to these apples.
The G.o.ddess Iðunn was the only one able to grow them, so the heavenly world of Asgard had turned into an extremely aged society filled with old men and women when the evil G.o.d Loki had kidnapped her.
As long as they ate the apples in accordance to a set cycle, the G.o.ds would never age.
However, the concept of age did not disappear entirely.
“Um, Lady Frigg? Why have you been frozen in place staring at the apples?”
“Uuh!? N-no reason at all. Ho ho ho. It is just that I am a bit full right now.”
The G.o.ddess of marriage Frigg let out a dry laugh, but the G.o.ddess of beauty Freyja grinned and spoke up.
“Lady Frigg, how many have you eaten this year in total? How many apples?”
“Well, it is similar to the number of candles on a birthday cake. Even if nothing changes visual, it still bothers you.”
“My actual age is not that much different from yours!! The only a difference is at what stage we maintain our apparent age!!”
(What are they doing?)
Waltraute watched the two argue with a shocked look.
If the number of apples eaten could change their age, it would be easy to manipulate the order of the nine Valkyries.
Waltraute bit into an apple of immortality without bothering to peel it.
Iðunn’s cultivation ability was apparent in how Waltraute felt like she was eating sherbet. The fruit had enough moisture to carry one around in lieu of a water bottle and the slight sourness at the center of the sweetness was wonderful. To put it simply, the apple was delicious.
(I need to avoid entering into a cultivation-related compet.i.tion with her.)
As Waltraute was focused on compet.i.tions as usual, Iðunn spoke to her.
“What about that boy?”
“The apples. These apples. The apples of immortality.” The fertility G.o.ddess Iðunn shook the basket she held in both hands. “The general rule is to not bring them to Midgard, but that boy is your husband so he could be considered to be part of Asgard. So should I bring him an apple of immortality?”
“Hm. So that is what you meant.”
“The human lifespan is supposed to be only 100 years. He will be a wrinkled old man in no time at all. If you are going to give him an apple of immortality, I think you should do so as soon as possible.”
“Hmm. But…” Waltraute munched on her apple. “Is it really okay to give immortality to a soul from Midgard? If the boy is made immortal, won’t he be treated as an outsider by human society?”
“That is a difficult theme.”
“And if he is given an apple of immortality at this stage, his physical body will stop where it is. It is just… I am not sure I should decide for him to take away the possibility of growth.”
Freyja had gotten tired of making fun of Frigg, so she cut in.
“Ha hahhn!! So you want to let that boy grow into the ideal young man and then feed him apples of immortality forever to lock him in place there!? A surprisingly good idea coming from you!!”
“Keep your delusions to yourself, you fool!!”
“But younger is always better. Giving him an apple of immortality once he is an old man does no one any good. They say what’s inside is what counts, but when it’s the same person inside either way, why would you choose the old one?”
Each of those words just so happened to stab into Frigg, but since it was Freyja, that was likely intentional.
Iðunn seemed to agree with that.
“Um, humans and G.o.ds see time differently, so you should probably make up your mind quickly. It is possible his hair will have gone gray before you know it.”
While munching on her apple of immortality, Waltraute said, “Argh, you fools!! This is not something to be decided only by the G.o.ds! What matters most is what that boy thinks about it!!”
“Yeah, but if you put an apple of immortality in front of a mortal human and ask him what he will do, the internal conflict might break his mind.”
“Um, I would be more afraid of other people seeing it and beginning to kill each other for it.”
Waltraute had eaten her apple down to the core, so she reached for a second from Iðunn’s basket.
“But that boy’s life belongs to him! Manipulating it for our own benefit sounds like something that one-eyed bearded old man would do! I do not like it!!”
“Enough of that. It comes down to a single issue: young and lively or old and wrinkly!? Which will it be? Young and lively? Old and wrinkly!?”
“Um, come to think of it, what is the ideal level in your eyes, Lady Waltraute? A little boy, an undercla.s.sman, a cla.s.smate, an uppercla.s.sman, or a gentleman?”
“Wh-what are you even talking about, you fools!? I am trying to talk about the weight of a human’s life!!”
Munch munch munch munch!
“It’s little boys. She’s definitely into little boys.”
“Yes, she does have the look about her.”
“Do not decide that on your own!! And what do you mean by ‘the look’!?”
Munch munch munch munch munch munch munch munch munch munch munch munch munch!!
“No, wait, Waltraute.”
“Um, the number of apples of immortality you eat is a complex calculation.”
“Do not decide what people’s tastes are based on how they look. In fact, physical appearance means nothing to me. I never said he needed to look like that. It is just that the boy who won my hand in marriage in a compet.i.tion happened to be that age!!”
Munch munch munch munch munch munch munch munch munch munch munch munch munch munch munch munch munch munch!!
“Waltraute!! Wait a second! Stop, stop!!
“Wahh! If you eat that many…!”
“Munch munch!! Munch munch chomp chomp munch munch!! …Hm? Huh!? Wait. How many apples of immortality have I eaten!?”
The change came quickly.
As stated before, Asgard had turned into an extremely aged society filled with old men and women when the evil G.o.d Loki had kidnapped the fertility G.o.ddess Iðunn. So how had they returned to their youthful appearances afterwards?
The answer was simple: They had eaten a ton of the apples of immortality.
Waltraute shouted out as her body was wrapped in white light.
The flash of light continued for a short period.
Finally, the light disappeared. And what it left behind was…
Waltraute with the appearance of a 10 year old.
That is what became of that invincible older sister type.
Freyja twisted her face into a grimace and clicked her tongue.
“d.a.m.n you!! Did you feel you needed more going for you to overcome my popularity!?”
“I did not do this because I wanted to, you fool!! And what exactly happened? My body has shrunk and my armor is slipping off. Don’t tell this is permanent!”
As Waltraute panicked, Frigg began grabbing as many apples as she could with a determined look on her face.
But then Iðunn replied, “Um, your most stable physical age does not change. Most of the time, it is your age upon first eating the apples. At any rate, any forced change to your apparent age should only be temporary.”
Frigg had been frantically trying to gather apples, but she now stiffened with despair. However, no one was looking in her direction.
Waltraute patted at her small body.
“I-I see. So I will return to normal after some time pa.s.ses. …Good.”
“Oh, I thought it was a desperate attempt to boost sales,” commented Freyja.
“You have been doing nothing but mocking me. Do I need to teach you a lesson with this Spear of Destroying Lightning?”
“Fwa ha ha ha!! Waltraute’s small body – ha ha – won’t be able to produce enough power to do anythi-…ngyaaaaaaaaahhhhhhh!?”
Freyja just barely managed to void the giant beam produced. It seemed she had a fair amount of combat skill herself.
“Oh, c’mon. If you’re gonna burn my skin, keep it to candles!! When you go beyond a brand, there is nothing erotic about it!!”
Meanwhile, the small Waltraute said, “Huh? Why did that fly out just now?”
“Um, your body may have shrunk, but your soul is the same. You do not have as great an ability to control the output of the energy, so explosions may be more likely to occur.”
“I see. And the initial velocity may have been even higher than usual.”
“It’s more powerful and she can’t control it? She’s basically unexploded ordnance now…”
“I will return to normal given some time, so there is no problem. …As long as a certain someone does not anger me during that time.”
After the small Waltraute gave that warning, the two crows Huginn and Muninn arrived.
“Huh? We have a message for Lady Waltraute.”
“Wait! Did she finally make the shift over to a more niche character type!?”
One of the ravens made that comment as if he(?) was not afraid of the G.o.ds, but the other raven made another comment before Waltraute could reply.
“We found another letter on the weather vane of the boy’s house.”
As Waltraute lived in the heavenly world of Asgard and the boy lived in the human world of Midgard, they could not contact each other easily. And so they used letters to keep in touch.
The raven must have used its beak to untie the letter from the weather vane and then retie it to its leg. The small Waltraute took the letter that had been tied to Muninn’s leg.
It said the following in messy handwriting:
“…!! Honestly, that boy never learns. How many times do I need to tell him I will only accept these ridiculous requests if he defeats me in a compet.i.tion!?”
“You say that, but you’re already cheerfully climbing aboard your white horse.”
“Because I must lecture him! And if he defeats me in a compet.i.tion, I must consider it!!”
“Um,” cut in the apple fertility G.o.ddess Iðunn. “Come to think of it, I occasionally hear about you going to play or on a date, but have you actually had a honeymoon yet, Lady Waltraute?”
“We do not need anything so formal. …Also, from a mythological and cultural standpoint, I do not think Midgard has the concept of a honeymoo-…”
Before the small Waltraute could finish, life returned to the depressed G.o.ddess of marriage Frigg.
“This cannot stand, Waltraute!!”
“A peaceful household must be built atop a proper foundation!! You cannot grow lazy just because you have gotten married. Marriage is not the goal; it is a new starting line!!”
Frigg’s bloodshot eyes made it clear she was dissatisfied with her own marriage. She spoke with such intensity that even the small Waltraute was pushed back.
“B-but… I have travelled between the nine worlds as a Valkyrie and the boy has already visited other worlds on multiple occasions. I cannot think of anywhere we could go that would be impressive enough for-…”
“You fool!!!!! It doesn’t matter where! Just go somewhere!!”
“I cannot accept such an unreasonable demand even from you, Lady Frigg! If you insist on it, then you must defeat me in a compet.i.tion!!”
“A tongue twister compet.i.tion then!! Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers!!”
“Peter Piper picked a pye…ow!!”
It was over almost immediately.
The small Waltraute held her bit tongue with tears in her eyes and Freyja spoke up with a bored look.
“It’s pretty hot today, so why don’t you go swimming? Come to think of it, there has been a severe lack of exposed skin for a love comedy.”
“Mhh,” groaned the small Waltraute, but she had lost the compet.i.tion.
She used the power of the Bifröst runway to break her existence apart and descended to Midgard while drawing an unnatural aurora through the sky.
“But,” said the G.o.ddess of beauty Freyja lazily. “The first challenge will be whether he recognizes Waltraute in that tiny form.”Part 2
“Who are you!?”
The boy’s eyes opened wide when he saw the Valkyrie with a 10-year-old appearance riding the giant white horse.
The blonde-haired, blue-eyed Valkyrie shook her small hands around and said, “I am Waltraute of course!! How can you not know that, you fool!?”
“No way!! Waltraute is more beautiful, more gallant, cooler, cuter, smarter looking, and stronger looking!! She has silky hair, smooth skin, and sparkling eyes!!”
“I-is that so? I suppose I cannot feel bad when you are complimenting me that much.”
“Why are you blushing when I compliment her?”
The boy was suspicious, but then he realized something.
He recognized the round eyes of the white horse the small Waltraute was riding.
“That horsie is Waltraute’s…”
“Again: I am Waltraute!!”
“Hey, horsie. What is going on? Tell me what’s going on!?”
But even if it was from the heavenly world, a horse was still a horse.
It could not reply in human words even if it was asked.
“I-I’ll give you a carrot, so tell me!”
An explosive reform came over the white horse’s frontal lobe and it began writing on the ground with its front hoof.
But the boy frowned.
“…I can’t read it.”
The white horse’s large form shook in shock, but the issue was not the horse’s handwriting. There was simply too much difference between the imperfect runes of the human world and the perfect runes of the heavenly world. For that reason, the horse’s runes were actually more accurate to the world’s standards.
“Sorry, horsie, but no carrot for you.”
“Oohhhh!? Do not suddenly start a rodeo, you fool!!”
The white horse tried to express its sorrow with its entire body and started throwing around the small Waltraute. The Valkyrie desperately grabbed at the reins.
That was when a G.o.ddess arrived in Midgard.
It was the G.o.ddess of beauty Freyja.
Instead of a horse, she rode a boar that was obviously much too large. It was over 4 meters tall.
“I knew this would happen. C’mon, Freyja here will explain it all for you, so you had better be thankful.”
When he heard that voice, the boy turned around and his shoulders jumped in shock.
“Hmm? Oh, is my aura enough that I do not even need to introduce myself? Heh heh heh. That’s right, that’s right. I am Freyja, the G.o.ddess of beauty! My beauty is enough to win over anyone regardless of age or s.e.x. Frankly, it scares me sometimes. My very existence is so bright it demonstrates my divinity!!”
“It’s a piggy!! It’s so huge!!”
“You’re focused on that!? Just so you know, a soul in the human world only has a 0.003% chance of seeing such great beauty over their entire lifetime!!”
The boy ignored Freyja’s shrill voice (and the small Waltraute breathed a secret sigh of relief but refused to let anyone else know), raised his hands, and charged into the side of the giant boar. He sank into the thick fur.
“The piggy is so warm.”
Meanwhile, the giant boar was writhing around as if to say “S-st-stop that. I-I’ll shout for help… Aaahhh!!”, but the boy showed no sign of noticing.
“Oh, this piggy has udders. Is it a girl?”
With the sound of something soft being squeezed, the giant boar began having NTR-related convulsions as it seemed to say, “Eee!! Ahhhn!! N-no! I already have Lady Freyja as my master…but…but…It’s flowing ouuuuutttttttttt!!”
Meanwhile, Freyja had grown quite angry over being completely ignored.
“This isn’t going to get anywhere at this rate!! I am going to explain everything, so focus on Freyja here!!”
“Wait!! The piggy has started looking for truffles, so don’t get in the way!!”
“So you’ve given into your hunger!?” shouted Freyja.
In reality, the giant boar was thinking “Pant, pant. I-I need to get that boy focused on something other than me…uuh… But no. I can’t hide my pleasure in working up a sweat for him!” However, no one else noticed that.
“At any rate, look at Freyja here!!”
“Why do you keep yelling?”
It was never going to end at that rate.
Plus, her entire ident.i.ty as the G.o.ddess of beauty was at risk if a boy was more interested in a wild boar than her.
But once the boy did finally turn his focus towards Freyja for the first time since she had arrived, he covered his face with his hands.
“Wahh! You’re too bright! I can’t see!”
“Oh? Is Freyja so s.e.xy I have to be censored during terrestrial broadcast? Wait just a second.”
She lowered the level of her divinity as the G.o.ddess of beauty and adjusted the clothing that had fallen out of place in various locations. After the rating had been lowered far enough, she continued.
“Well, boy? Can you see me now?”
“Hm, you definitely are a G.o.ddess, but you’re just a normal G.o.ddess. Waltraute is way more beautiful.”
“What!? You idiot! This is only the level of beauty that it is possible for your eyes to grasp! …And why do I have to lose to that battle-obsessed idiot of all people!? Just you watch, dammit. I’ll go full power. This is the transcendent and bewitching beauty of Freyja who stands at the top of the nine worlds!!”
“Wah! It’s so bright I can’t see anything!”
“The human world is real pain in the a.s.s!!”
Freyja started tearing at her hair. She had gotten completely sidetracked and had forgotten all about the small Waltraute. It seemed the situation was not going to get anywhere, but then someone arrived to save the plot.
It was Brynhildr, the eldest of the nine Valkyrie sisters.
Just like the fourth sister Waltraute, the armored lady rode a giant white horse.
With no visible expression, she said, “I cannot stand to watch this any longer. I have no obligation to help, but I will explain everything. All of you just calm down.”Part 3
“The G.o.ds of Asgard must periodically consume apples of immortality.”
“I see, I see.”
“The number eaten is meticulously calculated out to stop any aging. Eating an erroneous amount can temporarily give one a younger appearance.”
“And Waltraute ate too many of those apples.”
“Ehh!? Is Waltraute okay? Did she get a stomachache!?”
It took only 5 minutes to finish the explanation.
The small Waltraute and Freyja (who had put in a bit too much effort earlier) were both hanging their heads in shame.
“…What was all that effort even for?”
“I’m the G.o.ddess of beauty. Of course I’m going to get mad when it comes to beauty…grumble grumble.”
As Brynhildr sat atop her white horse, her expressionless eyes narrowed slightly as she looked at the boy. A thought appeared to have pa.s.sed through her mind.
“It seems no matter the age, there will be humans who seek after Valkyries.”
“Seeing you reminds me of when I met the human Siegfried.”
The small Waltraute and the G.o.ddess of beauty Freyja looked even more puzzled than the boy did.
“(Wasn’t Siegfried an exceedingly muscular macho man? He was the hero who sliced the evil dragon Fáfnir in two using a single sword and then ate its heart.)”
“(She’s a reminiscing widow. She’s probably beautifying her memories like crazy.)”
It seemed Brynhildr had not heard their comments.
The boy patted the white horse on the neck.
“Are you married, Mrs. Brynhildr? I am too.”
“…I am.” A small and somehow bitter smile appeared on the Valkyrie’s lips. “Or technically, I used to be.”
“Then you’re my senior in this marriage thing!”
“When I grow up, I’m going to be a mead maker. I wonder if I can support Waltraute properly like that.”
“…You can,” replied Brynhildr with the smile gone but with the edge to her tone also gone. “At the very least, you will be able to make a Valkyrie happier than some idiot who constantly charges into danger on a quest to be a hero can.”
Brynhildr seemed to be saying something nice, but…
“(The way she put that, you would think Siegfried had a heroic death on some reckless adventure, but didn’t he die because she got mad and used Gunnar and Guttorm to stab him in the back with a spear?)”
“(More beautification. She’s just going to keep doing it, so ignore her. She was made to sleep with a man she did not love and Siegfried was made to forget her in preparation for that. Their marriage had a lot of problems.)”
Those soap opera-esque parts were of course omitted as they could not let the boy hear them.Part 4
It had all become a bit muddled due to Waltraute’s transformation, but the theme of this chapter was their honeymoon.
“What’s a honeymoon?”
“See? I told you it is not a standard part of Midgard culture, you fools!!”
The small Waltraute lamented that the boy did not understand even after an explanation and Freyja sat cross-legged on her giant boar (which left various parts quite visible).
Sounding disinterested, the G.o.ddess said, “The human world is just set as being a ‘medieval European fantasy world’, so don’t worry about the details. Being technically correct was thrown out the window from the moment the metric system and the 60 minute hour were used.”
“Is it a type of trip? Do you have work to do, Waltraute?”
“No, no. It is not a trip to go sell something. ….Hey, Freyja. What do you do on a honeymoon anyway?”
“Well, you go far away and your festive spirits will make sure you cannot leave anytime soon. That means you will have to stay at an inn where you can kiss and kiss and kiss and then head to the bed where-…”
“I get the picture, you sow. I was a fool to ask you.”
The small Waltraute pressed a finger against her temple and asked Brynhildr instead.
With no change of expression, the eldest Valkyrie sister replied, “You kiss a lot.”
“Dammit, you are no help either!!”
“However, Siegfried was the type to not listen and go fast and hard. And he would just go to sleep as soon as he was satisfied. I recall being very angry with him.”
“Oh, I know what that’s like,” said Freyja. “Those hero types always think about nothing but winning compet.i.tions of stamina, so they will always act like children. If only they would understand that is simply being inefficient.”
Brynhildr and Freyja began energetically discussing the matter while giggling. The small Waltraute felt a headache coming on, but then Brynhildr turned toward her and spoke.
“I have no intention of saying anything about your relationship or the apparent distance between the two of you. But if I recall, the idea of swimming in the ocean was suggested back at Bifröst.”
“The ocean!?” shouted the boy hysterically.
However, this was not because his heart was filled with excited expectations for a grand leisure event.
“You’ll drown if you go into the ocean! If you need to cross it, you can just use a boat!”
“…See? It looks like swimming in the ocean is no good in the eyes of Midgard either. Swimming is probably an extremely specialized skill for them.”
The G.o.ddess of beauty Freyja could not let that go by without comment.
This had entered her territory.
“You idiot! If you say that, there will never be a swimsuit chapter!! This is a love comedy, remember? This world needs to prioritize love and comedy. If detailed historical accuracy would get in the way of the love comedy aspects, the laws of this world will ensure that historical accuracy is thrown out!!”
“Are swimsuits even a thing here? Even if Midgard has a vague ‘medieval European fantasy world’ setting, synthetic fibers are going a bit too far.”
“True,” said Brynhildr as she let out a slight groan. “If we are going to stick to the cultural standards of Midgard, bathing in a spring would be the most accurate. …And that means the proper style would be bathing completely nude outdoo-…”
“Okay, swimsuits it is! This is a love comedy after all!!”Part 5
The blue ocean.
The white sand.
The bright sun.
All those things came together in a trip to the beach. But the most important aspect was the girls in swimsuits. No focus could be wasted on those background elements.
“Why am I the only one without a swimsuit?” asked Waltraute.
“Because you got so small all of a sudden!! Or do you want to try wrapping a baggy bikini around your body!?”
“And Freyja, why are you and the other eight Valkyries all here and wearing swimsuits!?”
“That’s a good question. My guess would be because this is the swimsuit chapter.”
“Why are there nine other women along on our honeymoon!? Lady Frigg should have been more specific when she challenged me to that compet.i.tion!!”
“Yes, yes. ‘I wanted that boy to only look at me. Kiss kiss.’ ”
The small Waltraute gritted her teeth, but the other eight Valkyries had already headed into the water. It seemed some level of order remained amid the chaos thanks to the fact that they were not all trying to steal the boy for themselves.
“…I am the third sister Ortlinde. …I have nothing going for me. …In that once-in-a-lifetime battle I was treated as one of the ‘others’, my special skill was never explained, and I was taken out by tentacles. …Today, I think I will do my best by using a finger to fix my swimsuit when it rides up and pushing my b.r.e.a.s.t.s together with my arms.”
“At least you had your name mentioned. Does anyone even know who the sixth sister is? No one would know whether Helmwige referred to a boy or girl, or even if it was the name of a person or a weapon. I’m prepared to at least have my top fall off today.”
“I’m the eighth sister. The name’s Grimgerde. Why did I have to be the eighth sister rather than the youngest ninth sister? The eldest sister, the second sister, the third sister, and the youngest sister are the only ones that sound unique. And despite being the fourth sister, Waltraute is a special case. Frankly, it would be a miracle to get an ill.u.s.tration of all nine of us. There just wouldn’t be enough s.p.a.ce.”
“…But I am the third sister and I have barely appeared. …Since I have some fair sized b.r.e.a.s.t.s, I think I will try going with a hand-bra. This chapter is specifically for the novel, so let’s try to get a pinup color ill.u.s.tration with all of us in it.”
“The novel will have to line up all of the covers for the magazine chapters and it also needs a character introduction for at least Waltraute and the boy, so the odds of that are almost zero. Once again: I’m the eighth sister.”
Even if some of them were falling into a spiral of negativity that threatened to turn the pure white beach into a small black hole, the area was mostly wrapped in the mood of an optimistic event.
With the nine Valkyrie sisters (minus the fourth sister) and the G.o.ddess of beauty Freyja all wearing swimsuits, any artist or minstrel who happened to see it would go insane from the explosion of inspiration the incredibly sweet scene would give him.
And as for the “winning team” whose names had been given, who had been given decent appearances, and whose special skills had been explained…
“Mh, ninth sister Rossweisse! What is that unnatural school swimsuit-shaped tan line!? You prepared for this ahead of time, didn’t you!?”
“No, no, second sister Gerhilde. This is due to the heavy armor I always wear.”
“What kind of armor leaves a tan line like that?”
“Brynhildr, help me out here. Let’s bury her. Let’s bury this seducing youngest sister.”
“Eh? W-well, burying someone in the sand is a standard event for beach trips, so I’ll gladly let you do that.”
“Let’s bury her upside down up to her ankles.”
“That won’t leave anything!! No one would like that except for people who are only attracted to the s.p.a.ce between a girl’s big toe and second toe!!”
And then there was the group of airheaded sisters who did not care whether they were on the “winning team” or the “losing team”.
“Seventh sister Siegrune, you’re the one piece type?”
“I don’t understand how anyone could swim in the ocean with a two piece or a bikini, fifth sister Schwertleite. You mustn’t underestimate the currents or the resistance of the water.”
“Actually, you haven’t been approaching the waves at all, seventh sister Siegrune.”
“Laying out on the beach is much more efficient way of showing off your body, fifth sister Schwertleite. It isn’t that I am afraid of water and can’t swim.”
“Oh, Freyja here has some advice regarding that! Not being able to swim is actually a plus in a swimsuit chapter! You can cling to the guy’s chest as he teaches you to swim! He’ll be yours in no time!!”
“I-I already said it wasn’t that I can’t swim, you wh.o.r.e! And what is with that unexplainably erotic swimsuit?”
“Unfortunately, no one can see it due to the terrestrial broadcast censorship.”
The fourth sister Waltraute was all alone and unable to join the winning team, the losing team, or the neither team. She was sitting at a distant point of the beach with her arms around her knees.
“Not only can I not take part, but normally I would be the one in the limelight in this situation. Shouldn’t the emergency situation of me shrinking down like this take up the entire story!?”
No matter what happened, the girl without a swimsuit had no way of taking part in the swimsuit chapter.
But even if the (incredibly irresponsible) G.o.ds had abandoned her, someone still reached out a saving hand to her.
It was the boy.
“Mh!? Do not call out to me so casually, you fool. Only call my name in an emergenc…vah vah wahh!!”
As soon as the small Waltraute turned around, countless Spears of Destroying Lightning fired from her back. Her vision had unexpectedly been filled with the boy’s slender swimsuit-wearing form.
As he was wearing a guy’s swimsuit, he was half naked.
Tilting his head, he asked, “What is it, Waltraute?”
“Do not worry about it. And I am banning all compet.i.tion involving vague artistic aspects such as a swimsuit compet.i.tion.”
The boy still did not seem to know what she was trying to say, so he changed the subject.
“I told you not to call out to me so casually. If you insist on bringing such requests to me, you must first defeat me in a compet.i.tion.”
“Then let’s have a kitty dance compet.i.tion!!”
“Nyahn, nyahn. Nyahn, nyan, nyan, nyahn.”
“Wait!! Are you asking me to do that too!? And what exactly decides this compet.i.tion!? I just said no more artistic compet.i.tions!!”
However, the boy’s dance had already reached its climax. Waltraute had no idea what the basis of the compet.i.tion was, but she sensed she would be left behind if she did nothing. And so she (in her 10 year old form) started imitating him by lightly clenched her fists and waving her wrists around.
And then the other eight Valkyrie sisters and Freyja all turned their attention to Waltraute.
“Nooooo!! I don’t care if I lose now. I don’t care at allllllllllllllllllllll!!”
Unable to bear it, Waltraute curled up, let out a cry like a bearded military commander, and started beating on the rocky coast so hard that cracks ran through it.
But due to Waltraute’s small appearance…
“(Actually, isn’t this the first time they can actually have an evenly matched compet.i.tion?)” commented the eldest sister Brynhildr.
“(How much has s.p.a.ce and time been warped for all the focus of the swimsuit chapter to be on the one character not wearing a swimsuit?)” commented the second sister Gerhilde.
“(Nya ha ha ha ha!! The fact that she looks perfectly suited for that kitty dance is a gag in and of itself!! This isn’t moe; it’s a gag. This is too much to even qualify as gap moe!!)” commented the G.o.ddess of beauty Freyja.
But the boy’s five senses were not sharp enough to pick up on those whispered voices on the other end of the beach. He was focused solely on what the small Waltraute was doing and saying.
“You just said you didn’t care if you lose, right!? Yay! I won the kitty dance!!”
“…Heh heh heh. Just do as you wish,” muttered the small Waltraute with the expression of someone whose core had been broken.
With a full-faced smile, the boy said, “Then…then let’s go play on the beach over there! There are a ton of weird animals. Mrs. Brynhildr was telling me about hermit crabs!!”
As he spoke, the boy grabbed Waltraute’s hand.
“Eh heh heh. Today I get to be the big brother.”
Waltraute’s outer appearance may have changed, but she still had her full power as a Valkyrie. She did not in any way need to be protected by a soul from the human world. However…
The small Waltraute averted her gaze but still headed for the beach as the boy pulled on her hand.
The boy’s hand seemed somehow stronger and warmer than usual.Part 6
They poked at hermit crabs, dug tunnels through mountains of sand, drew on the beach with driftwood branches, tasted seawater which turned their eyes to Xs, and returned a jellyfish to the ocean.
“(Hm, I can only see this as perfectly wholesome.)”
“(I would usually be making jokes about all of it, but it all looks perfectly normal with her appearance.)”
Those were the opinions of the eldest Valkyrie sister Brynhildr and the G.o.ddess of beauty Freyja, but the small Waltraute and the boy did not notice.
The small Waltraute had been adding a seventh entrance to the tunnels through a mountain of sand and constructing three distinct layers within. She looked up with her hands still inside the sand.
“Um, I found this.”
“What? Is it another piece of driftwood?”
The small Waltraute carefully pulled her hands out of the tunnel and finally turned around toward the boy.
And then she was left speechless.
The boy was dragging along a sword that measured over 150 centimeters.
It had to have been quite heavy, but the slender boy was somehow able to carry it around.
“What is that over-the-top weapon!?’
“I found it washed up on the beach.”
“Wait. That sword looks somehow familiar…”
The small Waltraute narrowed her eyes as she stared at the large sword.
And then she remembered.
“Nothung…? That is the sword the human Siegfried used in his fight against the dragon!!”
“Nyah? Who is Siegfried?”
“The human Siegfried was the former husband of my eldest sister Brynhildr. Technically, Brynhildr is still completely devoted to him. A lot happened.”
“Oh. Then I should give this to her so she can give it to him.”
“Wait, wait, wait. Siegfried is gone…and the owner of that sword would be the most famous human in Midgard. Are you sure you wish to give away that honor?”
Nothung had been reforged after being broken, but it had originally belonged to Odin. It had been made in order to find the greatest soul in Midgard (and then kill that human to add them to the Einherjar war dead).
No matter under what circ.u.mstances he acquired it, that boy held the power to slice an evil dragon in two as long as he held that blade. However…
“Hm. But this belongs to Siegfried, so I can’t take it for myself,” declared the boy.
With a backwards glance to the small and dumbfounded Waltraute, the boy dragged Nothung along as he ran towards where Brynhildr lay face down sunbathing.
(Hm. I can respect that purity of heart.)
Waltraute was left with some admiration for the boy, but a problem showed itself soon after.
Brynhildr was a widow who was still truly in love with Siegfried (even if she had directly worked towards his death).
When the boy brought that memento of her husband, she was much more deeply moved than Waltraute had been.
Brynhildr rubbed the boys head.
“That is very unlike her. I suppose that is just how much lingering affection she has for the human Siegfried.”
Brynhildr embraced the boy.
“Wait, isn’t that going too far, Brynhildr? You are destroying the character you had built up.”
Brynhildr buried the boy’s head in her large b.r.e.a.s.t.s and began rolling around on the sand.
“Do not get carried away, you fool!! Are you trying to turn this swimsuit chapter into a Brynhildr chapter!?”
Waltraute could no longer hold back, so she unsteadily approached the s.e.xy sunbathing zone with a Spear of Destroying Light barely contained in one hand.
And that is how the swimsuit chapter pa.s.sed.Part 7
The end came suddenly.
While the small Waltraute had not grasped the truth of the matter, she had sensed some sort of premonition.
For example, there was the arrival of the dragon slaying sword Nothung.
(That boy said it had washed up onto the beach, but would something so convenient actually happen? Come to think of it, what even happened to that great sword after Sigmund and then Siegfried owned it?)
And one other thing stood out to her.
(Even if several unlikely possibilities coincided and Nothung did wash up on the beach, would that boy really be able to pick it up? While the sword was created so that souls of the human world could wield it, it was supposed to search for the greatest souls. …Not even I view that boy so highly as to think he is made of the same stuff as Siegfried. Why was that boy able to pick it up?)
The small Waltraute let out a groan as she watched the boy (and Brynhildr who had grown very fond of him), but she could not come up with an answer. And the fact that she could not gradually filled her with more and more unease.
Something was happening.
Meanwhile, a stingingly tense atmosphere filled the area around a spring in one corner of Asgard.
A decidedly negative emotion that was not murderous or hostile encroached on the area.
It could best be described as a general awe-filled fear for something unseen and not present.
It often filled human hearts when they thought about the G.o.ds, but it was exceedingly rare for it to spill from the hearts of the G.o.ds themselves.
The evil G.o.d Loki and the G.o.ddesses of fate known as the Norns were standing before that spring that displayed destiny.
Or perhaps it should be said they were confronting each other from across the spring.
Norn was not a term that referred to a specific individual. It was a general term for the three G.o.ddesses that made various predictions. In other words, it was closer to being a type of race like dwarf or elf.
But in this age, the term Norn referred to this group of three.
The G.o.ddess of the past Urðr, the G.o.ddess of the present Verðandi, and the G.o.ddess of the future Skuld.
As usual, the trio of Norns was completely expressionless.
“Even the way the story was introduced was odd,” said Loki. “A large difference exists between Asgard and Midgard’s cultures. That can be seen from the difference in the level of perfection of the runes they each use. …But bringing out the ideas of things like synthetic fibers and school swimsuits was the biggest problem.”
Verðandi and Skuld must not have been interested because they completely ignored Loki.
Perhaps because the issue related to her period of time, Urðr alone turned toward Loki.
“How is that a problem?”
“It has twisted the laws of this universe.” Loki smoothly continued speaking. “That boy removed one of the causes of Ragnarök. Surtr put down his sword and ceased construction on Naglfar. …But Ragnarök has more than one cause. If one is destroyed, the beginning of Ragnarök will focus on one of the others. Oh, I suppose this involves more than just the past, though.”
“Understood. As this involves multiple time periods, I will reply as the G.o.ddess of the present as well.”
“Same here as the G.o.ddess of the future.”
They seemed quite reluctant, but the other two G.o.ddesses also turned toward Loki. Urðr had also been in a bad mood about it from the beginning.
“As the G.o.ddess of the present, I must ask: can you sum up what you are ‘presently’ talking about?”
“And I have a question as the G.o.ddess of the future: what conclusion do you see this leading to ‘in the future’?”
Their lines and their att.i.tudes did not match at all.
The Norns were in a very lazy and negative mood while Loki grinned with delight.
“Not even Odin can change the occurrence and outcome of Ragnarök.”
“Fate is set in stone so not even the G.o.ds can alter it. But what about right now? In this moment, the cause of Ragnarök is switching over to another cause. Don’t you think fate can be shaken in this moment?”
Past, present, and future all fell silent.
None of the time periods could decide how to respond.
“And so strange things are happening. For example, all nine Valkyrie sisters have changed into swimsuits, they are using terms from an unfamiliar culture, and a completely normal human boy has picked up the dragon slaying sword Nothung.” Loki continued on his own. “Right now…no, I suppose saying that would be inconsiderate to Verðandi. Right here, fate and destiny are no longer in effect. Questions we already know the answer to can be led to a different answer. Right here, we have a threat that makes Ragnarök look like nothing. Unlike a war with a decided conclusion, no one can see how this will end. Not even the G.o.ddesses of fate. Am I right?”
“These nine worlds will soon be destroyed. The river of fate will collapse and flood everything. Not even I can imagine what will happen after that. Having everyone act on their own without being bound by fate sounds nice, but it may mean everyone will be eternally isolated and never able to make any connections with anyone else.”
“I had thought the three G.o.ddesses that can watch over all that exists would know some tricks into how the worlds work. But if you are at a stalemate here, it seems I was wrong. And something you three find impossible would be impossible for the other more minor Norns as well. Do you have any ideas as to who else might be able to do this?”
“Well,” it was the G.o.ddess of the past Urðr who replied. “This naturally occurring distortion in fate should have spread its effects thinly across all nine worlds. If you wish to cause an intentional change, you would need to interfere with all nine worlds rather than focusing on a single point.”
“…One would need quite the long reach to manage that.”
“I can think of one possibility,” said the G.o.ddess of the present Verðandi in regards to the presently developing situation. “The destiny that controls everything in the nine worlds cannot be interfered with or controlled even by we three sisters that watch over it all. I believe there is only one person who could do this.”
“Who would be able to do something even Odin cannot?”
“The nine worlds,” replied Verðandi. “The worlds themselves can grasp and even interfere with the entirety of the destiny spread thinly across them all.”
“…I have never heard anyone say the worlds have a will of their own.”
“In the present, no.”
“Nor in the future.”
“But in the past, they did.”
Loki frowned when he heard the words of Urðr.
“…So that’s it.”
He had been led to quite possibly the worst answer.
“What are the nine worlds made from? I’m sure the G.o.ddess of the past can gladly answer that one.”
“The great giant Ymir. Odin and the others killed the giant, broke apart his flesh and bones, and created the various worlds and living creatures out of them. That is how Odin was able to name himself the head G.o.d, name the Æsir the G.o.ds, and to name Surtr and his kind evil giants.”
“So the distortion of fate has returned Ymir’s will and he is planning to resurrect himself from the dead. Or perhaps the distortion in fate came about specifically because Ymir wished to be resurrected. But that distinction is unimportant,” said the evil G.o.d Loki. “To resurrect, Ymir requires all the parts of his body.” He finally reached his conclusion. “But his body has already been distributed to the nine worlds and the beings that live in them. If those parts are returned to the original giant they belonged to, the nine worlds and all life within them will be utterly annihilated.”Part 8
The great giant Ymir’s resurrection had begun.
The sea grew dyed with the red of blood, the rocks on the sh.o.r.e became white teeth and bones, and the distant mountains turned to the color of flesh. It became clear what those objects they always tread on had originally been.
And the changes did not stop at the terrain.
The trees, the gra.s.s, the animals, the humans, the dragons, the fairies, and the giants were all affected.
Everything born within the nine worlds held this inescapable destiny. All objects and living beings created or born within the nine worlds were headed for their demise. It was the same for Muspelheim and Niflheim which had been made from the matter of the worlds after the Æsir in the process of destruction and revival.
“Wal…traute…” groaned the boy.
While still shrunk down, Waltraute had collapsed to the skin-colored beach. The same thing had happened to all the other sisters.
A few exceptions existed for this problem related to Ymir.
For example, the Æsir.
They had killed Ymir to create the nine worlds, so they had existed before Ymir died. They had been born somewhere unrelated to Ymir and had brought about their descendants from men and women that were unrelated to Ymir. As such, they would not be affected even if Ymir did resurrect.
The Valkyries were existences whose forms had been changed for both G.o.ds and men. Humans had been involved in the process of their creation and those humans had been created from Ymir, so they were related to Ymir.
“I’m going to be having trouble soon, too,” groaned the G.o.ddess of beauty Freyja.
She must have grasped the general situation from the changes occurring to herself and her surroundings.
She was a member of the Æsir, but she had originally been of the Vanir. In other words, she was a giant. She had the divinity of the Æsir so the damage was being reduced, but she could not completely avoid taking damage since Ymir was involved in the process of her creation. At the current rate, she would become a part of Ymir’s body just like every other life form.
“Honestly, we must have let our guard down because Ragnarök was temporarily avoided. It may have also been bad that the Norns did not react. Who would have thought Ymir would be coming back? But it is true that the instant that fate is switching rails is an opportunity for those who have been cornered by fate.”
“What happened to Waltraute?”
The one suffering the most was likely that human boy.
He was directly receiving the effects of being created from Ymir and he had no divinity to defend against it with.
The damage was great enough that even an indirect blow was enough to knock out the average Valkyrie. The boy was receiving that damage directly, yet these were the first words from his mouth.
“What happened to Waltraute and the others?”
“Explaining the reasons behind this destruction would just bore you, boy. At any rate, there is nothing you can do for us even if you knew the reasons…”
If the pure Æsir that had no relation to Ymir gathered and worked to solve the problem, they might be able to manage. But it would be difficult even for them. Even if the Æsir were safe, their heavenly world of Asgard and the world tree Yggdrasil that supported it were beginning to collapse. When it was unclear if they could even protect the ground they stood on, they would not have time to worry about the other worlds.
“Boy, if you have any reverence for me as a G.o.ddess, then bury me after I collapse. As the G.o.ddess of beauty, I cannot allow anyone to see my body turning into something else. Ha ha. I know it isn’t right for a G.o.d to ask this of a human, but please. Give me a proper burial.”
The flesh and blood pulsated with life.
Something several dozen meters tall welled up from the ground that had changed form.
It was the great giant Ymir.
But this was not a perfect body. The body was dyed a dark red. It was covered in fresh blood and it did not appear to be covered by skin. It was just the core of his body. Once everything had been gathered from the nine worlds, his giant form that could pierce the heavens would be complete.
But thinking about it differently…
This was the perfect opportunity.
“…No, boy,” said Freyja as she kneeled down on the beach. “Since Waltraute can’t speak, I will stop you for her. You cannot do this. Even if it is incomplete, that is not something a soul born in the human world can handle.”
“No,” replied the boy decisively
He picked up the large sword that had fallen to the beach.
It was the sword he had given to Brynhildr.
It was the weapon prepared by Odin and then remade by human hands.
It was the dragon slaying sword Nothung that was prepared by the leader of the pure Æsir and held the power of the pure G.o.ds!!
“No matter what happens, I cannot let Waltraute die.”
The boy tightened his grip on the sword’s hilt.
At 150 cm, the sword was longer than the boy was tall and he held it up of his own free will.
He made up his mind.
He prepared himself to wield the single power in that place that could kill the great giant Ymir.
He prepared himself to turn that power against a living being, regardless of what form that being took.
He prepared himself to protect the person he found most important even if it meant getting blood on his own hands.
“I will protect Waltraute no matter what it takes!!”
It was true that this was yet another form of justice. Many heroes had sought that justice, resolved themselves, and become members of the Einherjar war dead.
But this was not the path for that boy.
This was the boy who had avoided Ragnarök by proving in his conversation with Surtr that he held the determination to set down his weapon. His actions here would deny everything he had done back then.
Freyja tried to shake her head, but she no longer had the strength left.
The boy was going to take action.
The distortion to fate was manipulating him into this new distorted fate of his own. He would choose the option he never would have chosen before – that he must never choose – and destroy everything he had built up.
The giant ma.s.s of dark red flesh that was Ymir seemed to be laughing. The dragon slaying sword Nothung was indeed a threat, but the fact that this human who should never have wielded it was wielding it proved how distorted fate had become. If things continued as is, Ymir would regain his original form.
Just before the boy took that first step off the path of his proper fate…
“Wait. That isn’t your role.”
A deep male voice reverberated throughout that landscape of distorted fate.
A large and thick arm reached alongside the boy and towards Nothung.
It picked up the large sword almost too easily.
It was as if the sword belonged in his grasp.
It was as if fate was being restored.
It was as if the sword was returning to its rightful owner.
The great ma.s.s of Ymir writhed as if to ask, “Why?”
“Do you want an explanation?” muttered the large man holding Nothung. He was dyed red with the blood of a dragon rather than with his own blood like Ymir was. “You’re resurrecting there, so is it really that odd for someone else who’s dead to resurrect? This only works here where fate has been distorted. Isn’t that right, you ma.s.s of materials for the worlds?”
Freyja muttered something in a scratchy voice.
It was the name of a hero.
It was the name of Nothung’s owner.
At that time, fate was most definitely distorted.
The human Siegfried held the over 150 cm sword Nothung in one hand and spoke.
“So now we have a muscular macho man and a grotesque giant. Makes you wonder what happened to the love comedy.”
The giant red ma.s.s shook as if to ask, “Why?”
“You did nothing wrong. You were merely killed by Odin. You were merely turned into the materials for the worlds by that idiot who wanted to be known as the head G.o.d. Desiring to be resurrected is your right. That is why I didn’t want to leave this to that boy. The conclusion here and the guilt afterwards would be too much for him.”
The giant red ma.s.s shook as if to ask, “Why?”
“You and I were both killed thanks to a scheme of Odin’s. Odin didn’t want the military might of the heavenly world to be split by my monopolization of Brynhildr, so he tricked Brynhildr into hating me and indirectly stabbing me in the back. But I have no intention of having a pity party. Unfortunately for you, I don’t regret the past that much.”
The giant red ma.s.s shook as if to ask, “Why?”
“What good would hoping to be resurrected do? As I said, I have no regrets. At the very least, I don’t have enough of a reason to hope for resurrection as long as Brynhildr does not have her smile taken away. In the end, as long as she’s smiling, I don’t care what happens to my own life. …To be honest, I don’t find the fact that we were killed for Odin’s self interest to be the biggest tragedy. I say the biggest tragedy is that you never met someone you cared for this much. What do you say? You’re free to want to live, but let me ask: what would you do if you were alive?”
“That settles it.”
Siegfried lightly swung the large sword.
That was all it took to sharply slice through the rage and killer intent of that red giant.
“I know my way around the afterlife. I can show you around on my way back.”
The dragon slaying sword Nothung fell in a straight line towards the great giant Ymir.
It was the sword of the challenger.
It was made to demonstrate overwhelming sharpness only when turned toward the ruler of the current location.Part 10
Once the great giant Ymir’s core was sliced in two, the distortion of fate disappeared. The switchover from one cause of Ragnarök to another finished smoothly.
And this also affected Siegfried.
In the proper path of fate, his life had already been lost.
But that great man had no real attachment to the world of the living.
As if to announce that this was the proper way of things, the core of his being did not waver.
“Sorry, but I’ll be taking this,” said Siegfried to the boy while holding Nothung. “I want you to head down a path that does not involve wielding this. Doing so will help your Waltraute and my Brynhildr. Plus, it should enrage that one eyed bearded old man.”
“You do not need to understand. The fact that you do not know the value of this sword and that you cannot compare the values of the two options shows that fate is back to normal. Just as I travelled down my path, you travel down your path. That will be the quickest path to building up your greatest strength,” said Siegfried with a grin. “I used brute strength to face down G.o.ds in battle, but it seems the human will always be at a disadvantage no matter how hard he struggles. That’s how I ended up dead. But your method might allow you to truly rival the leader of the Æsir.”
“What do you mean?”
“Odin ranks things according to battles, so he sees no danger. He feels safe because he is the strongest. And that is why he cannot deal with anything when it comes to a love comedy. I guess you could call it the power of love. I’m not too fond of that sort of thing, but that bearded old man must hate it even more. Never fight your opponent under his own rules. If you want to protect something or someone, then force your opponent to fight under your rules.” He then glanced over at Brynhildr who had yet to come to where she lay collapsed on the beach in a swimsuit. “But please do not forget that heading down your path will affect the fates of more than just Waltraute and yourself. It only has to be when you have some extra time. Maybe do it during the times when you have no plans with Waltraute. But call out to her on occasion. It’s about time she finally starts speaking with a human that does not reside in her memories.”
And the switchover of fate was complete.
The long, long countdown to the final battle of Ragnarök was set anew.
“Ah!? Despite everything that happened, why is my tiny body the only thing that has not reverted to normal!?”
“That’s because you shrunk due to eating too many apples of immortality. It had nothing to do with all that complicated stuff.”
The small Waltraute lamented and Freyja replied in annoyance while wearing her usual light clo