THE BEAUTY OF VIRGINITY 2 Chapter 2: Dangers Of Premarital Sex

s.e.x REDUCES YOU TO A TOY

Those who beg to see what lies in between your thighs will not tell you this: s.e.x reduces you to a s.e.x object. Once you taste your first s.e.xual experience, the desire to have a repeat performance of the same from time to time is automatically activated. This stimulated s.e.xual appet.i.te makes you vulnerable to every proposal from members of the opposite s.e.x. The more you get, the more you are likely to desire until you begin to sleep around with everyone that cares to.

This desire in itself is neither unG.o.dly nor demonic. It was created by G.o.d, but with a condition; it is only allowed within the boundary of marriage. Such that if your first s.e.xual encounter is on your wedding night, each time the desire rises, your spouse is always beside you to share your affection. If you decide to have a taste of this experience before marriage, be you a young man or woman, you put yourself in a difficult situation where you become 'cheap meat' in the hands of any good looking person that comes around you, as long as they can speak a few enticing words that will arouse your emotion.

s.e.x is not just the act of using the other person for self-gratification: This is what early s.e.x reduces you to! It turns your body into an amus.e.m.e.nt park where anyone and everyone can catch fun at will. You become a playground where everyone goes to in order to catch some fun whenever they need to relax.

This is why G.o.d designed it that your first experience will be within the confinement of marriage so that once the s.e.xual desire is triggered, you have a partner beside you who has legal approval to satisfy your appet.i.te.

Do not reduce yourself to a s.e.x toy; it is a dangerous thing to be. Preserve your self.

DEALING WITH A STRANGER

Ask young men or young women who sleep around in your school, and you will discover that, most times, they have to deal with complete strangers, people they have very little or no knowledge about.

Even if you have been friends with someone for some time, you really may not know the other party as much as you think you do. Once there is s.e.xual contact, the time needed to intimate yourselves and familiarize with each other is spent consolidating on the previous s.e.xual experience. The values, standards and the ideals of the other party are no longer important. All that is important is just the s.e.x sessions.

In no time, one becomes a s.e.x toy to the other. They may be tempted to think that they know more of each other since they meet from time to time to discuss, but more often than not, what they know of each other are just peripherals, since all they do is just bodily exploration of one another. Rather than being knitted together in both their spirit and soul, they get knitted together only in bodily form.

This is why, most of the time, most people who lose their virginity before marriage do not end up getting married to the one they lost it to. The reason is this, sometime along the way, one party's eyes become opened to see that they really do not share the same values as they thought, and the relationship gets broken. It is at this point that both parties discover that they have been dealing with a complete stranger all along. All they know is just the body, not the spirit or the soul of the person.
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There are too many things one is supposed to know about another person than their s.e.xual performance. You do not how the person relates with his siblings, what his friends think of him, how serious he is with G.o.d, how he handles monetary matters, his reactions under pressure, crisis management skills, financial management ability, leadership skills, and all of that.

If all you know is just the s.e.xual ability, you are in for a problem. Judging a person or keeping a relationship with a person singularly because of the person's performance ability under the bed sheets is quite ridiculous. Leaving s.e.x out of your intimate relationship truly allows you time to learn more about the person you are dealing with, so that you can decide if you really want to keep close to the person or not.

SAVES YOU FROM HEARTACHES

Your determination to live a chaste and pure life will save you a lot of headaches and heartaches. Paramount among them is a broken heart. When a young man engages in a s.e.xual relationship with a young woman, they both become connected mentally, psychologically and emotionally. Unknown to most of them, a soul tie is created between them.

If anything happens in the relationship and one of the parties decides to quit, the other party suffers a heartbreak! Most times, the 'leaving' party does not consider the emotional trauma that the 'staying' party with a broken heart is going to be subjected to. So the party with a broken heart is left to singlehandedly go through the psychological and emotional trauma of a broken heart.

This has made so many young people take many stupid decisions in life. Some of the craziest decisions that have risen from such heartbreaks are:

1. SUICIDE

Some commit suicide. They take their own lives because they feel there is nothing worth living for anymore since they have lost the only person they feel understands them in the world. They can not imagine that someone they trust so much will desert them for another person, and so they end their own lives untimely. What a wasted life!

2. MURDER

Some have their hands stained with blood. They commit murder by taking the life of the new lover whom their former lover has found. They feel they cannot stand having to see someone else share the person they love. Some people even prefer to take the life of the ex-lover; if they cannot have him/her, no one else should.

3. CELIBACY

Some decide never to marry again in life. This is because they believe there is no true love anywhere in the world since they tested one and failed at it. These ones always claim "All men are the same" or "All women are the same". This statement is not true. It is just based on the past experiences they have had with one or two people.

4. REVENGE

Some others take very destructive actions, either against themselves, their loved ones, or the intruder in the relationship. We have heard stories of young adults fighting openly over a member of the opposite s.e.x. There are even cases of people baptizing one another with acid. These things can be avoided.

All these wrong actions and conclusions are as a result of young people embarking too early on something they could have waited for the right time for. If you do not want to fall into the same spirit of error, keep your virginity, it has lots of rewards.

STD

STD's are s.e.xually Transmitted Diseases. These are diseases transferred from one party to another during s.e.xual intercourse. They include Syphilis, Gonorrhea, AIDS, and HIV.

Some of these diseases are deadly and can terminate lives untimely. The others can cause some parts of the human body to be ineffective for life. This is why you must abstain from premarital s.e.x.

Some people have argued that when you take some necessary precautions, you will be able to completely guard yourself against contracting these diseases. One of these measures which they encourage is the use of condoms. However, medical experts have been able to prove that condoms, though good, are not 100% safe. It may not be able to completely safeguard you from the challenges of premarital s.e.x. So, be careful.

PREGNANCY

One very major problem of premarital s.e.x is unwanted pregnancy. It is termed unwanted because it will come at a time when you really do not want or need it. You may think you are so smart in your ways or that you know every possible means to guard against it pregnancy. However, things can turn in the direction you are not expecting, and you just find out that, in your early age, you are already pregnant if you are a female, or that you have impregnated a girl if you are a male.

This can make you a laughing stock in your school, neighborhood and your immediate community. It can bring shame and disgrace to both you and your immediate family. You just imagine how your mother would feel to hear the news about this pregnancy, or how your father will react to it. You can be sure it will not be a thing to jubilate over in the family, especially at this time that you have not concluded your primary academic pursuit.

For young ladies, it is not a very palatable experience being pregnant while in school. So, this will put some pressure on your education for now. Even if you think you are physically strong and can cope with both school activities and the pregnancy, some schools will not allow you access to their cla.s.srooms in that state. They may advise you to go deliver your baby first before continuing with school.

This may put a temporary halt or a permanent stop to your academic pursuit. To some, it will be two wasted years of break from their academics. The first year (or nine months thereabout) is to carry the pregnancy to term, while the second year will be to wean the child, after which they can resume school. Too bad! At this time, they will be two years behind their age mates in school, and will be cla.s.smates with their younger ones. You sure do not want that to happen to you.

For some others, this will be the final episode of their academic pursuit as they may never ever get another opportunity to return to school. They jeopardize their future by themselves through some moments of enjoyment. What a great sacrifice to pay for a few moments of pleasure.

If you live a chaste life, you will never have to bother with unwanted pregnancy. The only virgin about whom it was prophesied that will be pregnant without having s.e.xual intercourse has since fulfilled the prophecy and given birth to Jesus Christ our Lord. Every other pregnancy since then came as a result of a male and a female having a s.e.xual knowledge of each other.

If you do not engage in such s.e.xual knowledge or anything related to it, you will not need to bother about whether or not you are pregnant, or be scared that a lady will come to tell you the most dreaded statement of wayward boys "I missed my period". Your mind will be at rest, since you know that you cannot have a result in an examination which you did not write. It is impossible.

Do not let s.e.x turn you into a mother until love has turned you into a wife.

ABORTION

A common way of escape for those who find themselves in this birdcage of unwanted pregnancy is abortion. The first advice your mates will give you is to abort it before anyone gets to know about it. They will even tell you not to let your parents hear a word about it. They will encourage you to keep it as secret as possible until the abortion plan is perfected and hatched, so as to cover up the public shame.

This advice may come from a 'so-called' sincere heart that shows love and concern for you, but it is not the best for you. Whoever gives you such advice has refused to put into consideration the fact that the process of abortion can tamper with your vital reproductive organs and this can cause you to be barren for life. It can even lead to an untimely death. Uncountable stories abound of ladies who have done abortion and bled to death. This may be due to medical mismanagement or personal carelessness.

This is because you are still young and your organs are still tender and soft, therefore, complications can arise if not well handled by experienced personnel, who is trusted by your parents, and who is authorized by the government. This is why you must make sure you carry your parents along if you mistakenly fall into this error. However, it is better not to fall into it, than to start crying after the milk is spilled. Prevention is better, and safer, than cure.

Lastly, you need to know that abortion is a grievous sin before G.o.d. Even if you succeed with the abortion without any complications, you would have succeeded in committing the sin of murder of an unborn child, in addition to the sin on ground – fornication.

E X P O S U R E T O D A N G E R O U S CONTRACEPTIVES

The world is advancing by the day, and wayward friends will try to convince you that you do not have to carry any pregnancy if you do not want to. They will introduce you to different drugs and objects that you could use to prevent pregnancy.

Some of these are affordable because they are natural methods used in the olden days, but they are not medically approved in recent times because they come with dire side effects that could be deadly if not carefully applied with all caution.

The medically approved ones cost more money, and paying for these with your meager pocket money from time to time can drill a huge hole in your pocket. This could make you run out of cash constantly as money that should be used for more important purposes is expended on trivial issues.

Besides the financial implications, some of these medically approved drugs also have their side effects when not used according to prescriptions. There is a limit to their usage. When overused or abused, they also may have some damaging effects on your reproductive organs and these may not be noticeable now until you start childbearing, a case of saving the trouble for another day.

EMERGENCY PARENTHOOD

Another challenge is being forced to start a family before you are ready to. Truly, everyman plans to be a father at a particular time in his lifetime, just as every woman plans to be a mother someday, however, their plans are meant to manifest sometime in the future and not in the immediate.

Engaging in premarital s.e.x can cut such plans short and force you to start an emergency family. Once a lady mistakenly gets impregnated and it is medically proven to be unsafe for her to abort, or illegal in her country or her religion to engage in abortion, the lady automatically becomes an emergency mother, and the partner in crime, the boy becomes a father, irrespective of their ages at the time of the childbirth. Sad to admit, so many young adults have started their families this way, impromptu and unplanned.

Starting a family this way can be devastating. Most of the time, there is no elaborate wedding to celebrate the new union. Even if the family members insist on a magnificent wedding ceremony, there is a certain unp.r.o.nounced mood in the atmosphere that takes the real joy out of the day.

Besides the hastily packaged wedding ceremony, the new family will be started on a wrong foundation. Two unprepared young adults, who know practically nothing about life, little about themselves, and about the same level of information on how to cope with a spouse and build a successful home, coming together to embark on a life long journey, a journey of no return, is such a very scary thought. This is one of the reasons why the rate of divorce is on the increase globally.

For young adults who are determined not to defile themselves and who choose to wait for the right time to get married, the society, or the church always organizes a three to six months compulsory counselling cla.s.s for the duo in order to open their eyes to the challenges they are likely to face when they start living together as husband and wife. If therefore, someone is forced to undertake such challenges prematurely, and without the necessary preparatory cla.s.ses, then little success should be expected from such a union.

SINGLE PARENTAGE

The families can agree that they do not want any abortion and both parties should go their separate ways. In this case, the young lady is allowed to give birth to the baby but not to continue her relationship with the father of the baby.

This allows the two of them to continue with their separate lives as though nothing has happened. The parents and the society would expect that after the delivery of the baby, the three (father, mother & child) will live their normal lives again, but this seldom is the case.

The young father and the mother will live apart as single parents, with all or some of the responsibilities of childrearing being shouldered by them at such a very early age. This puts so much pressure and stress on the two of them as they can no longer live like their age mates'. They have already put themselves in bondage.

As the child grows by the day, it becomes increasingly difficult for each of them to sustain a real relationship that will mature into marriage with another party, since the issue of the child they have had out of wedlock keeps coming up, no matter how much they try to cover it. All things being equal, no young man with a promising future really desires to marry a lady who had given birth before. So also, no young lady wants to willfully marry a man who has a child already from another woman. The child now becomes a clog in their wheel of marital progress. It is not as though it is practically impossible for them to marry normally again, but it will take much more from them than if they were still single.

If they successfully conceal the information from the new partner before the marriage, at whatever point the secret is revealed, the revelation always threatens the marriage with divorce, and only very few people have been able to manage such situations successfully.

The child also grows up in an abnormal family. Since he would be raised by a single parent from babyhood, his perception of family life will surely be distorted. It is even possible that growing up may be tough for him because he will be denied some amenities of life which his mates who grew up in normal families would have access to. He is likely to have low grades in schoolwork, drop out of school midway without graduating, and stand a high chance of being abused s.e.xually, physically and otherwise. He, most likely, will also be neglected.

If the parents are lucky enough to find someone to marry later on in life, the child will have to either live with a foster parent or step-parent. This will put an innocent child through undue stress, simply because of a few minutes of indiscipline and uncontrolled emotions from his separated parents. Very few of such children, when they eventually grow up and are lucky to be prospered by G.o.d, are willing to forgive their parents. It is not their fault; you may do worse if you were in their shoes.