Vice Versa Part 42

"So here you are!" he said. "Been lookin' for you everywhere. What's good of shutting 'self in here? Come up and play gamesh. No? Come in and have shupper. I've had shupper."

"So I perceive," observed Uncle Marmaduke; and the fact was certainly obvious enough.

"Tell y'what I did," giggled the wretched d.i.c.k. "You know I never did get what I call regular good blow out--always some one to shay 'had quite 'nough' 'fore I'd begun. So I thought this time I would have a tuck-in till--till I felt tired, and I--he-he-he--I got down 'fore anybody elsh and helped myshelf. Had first go-in. No one to help to thingsh. No girlsh to bother. It was prime! When they've all gone up again you and me'll go in and have shome more, eh?"

"You're a model host," said his uncle.

"It's a good shupper," d.i.c.k went on. "I ought to know. I've had some of everything. It'sh almost too good for kids. But it'sh a good thing I went in first. After I'd been in a little time I saw a sponge-cake on the table, and when I tried it, what d'ye think I found? It was as full inside of brandy-an'-sherry as it could be. All it could do to shtand! I saw d'rectly it washn't in condition come to table, and I said, 'Take it away! take it away! It'sh drunk; it'sh a dishgraceful sight for children!' But they wouldn't take it away; sho I had to take it away.

But you can't take away a whole tipshy-cake!"

"I am quite sure you did your best," murmured Paradine.

"Been having such gamesh upstairs!" said d.i.c.k, with another giggle.

"That lil' Dolly Merridew's jolly girl. Not sho nice as Dulcie, though.

Here, you, let'sh go up and let off fireworksh on balcony, eh? Letsh have jolly lark!"

"No, no," said his uncle. "You and I are too old for that sort of thing.

You should leave the larks to the young fellows."

"How do you know I'm too old for sorterthing?" said d.i.c.k, with an offended air.

"Well, you're not a young man any longer, you know. You ought to behave like the steady old buffer you look."

"Why?" demanded d.i.c.k; "why should I behave like shteady ole buffer, when I don't feel shteady ole buffer? What do you want shpoil fun for? Tell you I shall do jus' zackly wharriplease. And, if you shay any more, I'll punch y' head!"

"No, no," said his uncle, slightly alarmed at this intimation. "Come, you're not going to quarrel with me, I'm sure!"

"All ri'," said d.i.c.k. "No; I won' quarrel. Don' wanter quarrel anybody."

"That's right," said Paradine. "I knew you were a n.o.ble fellow!"

"Sho I am," said d.i.c.k, shaking hands with effusion. "Sho are you. Nearly ash n.o.ble 'sh me. There, you're jolly good fellow. I say, I've goo' mind tell you something. Make you laugh. But I won't; not now."

"Oh, you can tell me," said Marmaduke. "No secrets between friends, you know."

"Shan't tell you now," said d.i.c.k. "Keep shecret little longer."

"Do you know, my friend, that there's something very odd about you I've noticed lately? Something that makes me almost fancy sometimes you're not what you pretend to be."

d.i.c.k sat down heavily on one of the leather benches placed against the wall.

"Eh, what d'you shay?" he gasped. "Shay tharragain."

"You look to me," said Marmaduke slowly, "like some one excellently made up for the part of heavy father, without a notion how to play it. d.i.c.k, you young dog, you see I know you! You can't take me in with all this.

You'd better tell me all about it."

d.i.c.k seemed almost sobered by this shock.

"You've found me out," he repeated dully. "Then it's all up. If you've found me out, everybody elsh can find me out!"

"No, no; it's not so bad as that, my boy. I've better eyes than most people, and then I had the privilege of knowing your excellent father rather well once upon a time. You haven't studied his little peculiarities closely enough; but you'll improve. By the way, where _is_ your excellent father all this time?"

"He's all right," said d.i.c.k, beginning to chuckle. "He-he. He's at school, he is!"

"At school. You mean to say you've put him to school at his time of life! He's rather old for that sort of thing, isn't he? They don't take him on the ordinary terms, do they?"

"Ah," said d.i.c.k, "that'sh where it is. He isn't old, you see, now, to look at."

"Not old to look at! Then how on earth---- I should like to know how you managed all that. What have you been doing to the poor gentleman?"

"That'sh my affair," said d.i.c.k. "An' if I don' tell you you won' find that out anyway!"

"There's only one way you could have done it," said Paradine, pretending to hesitate. "It must have been done by some meddling with magic. Now what---- Let me see--yes---- Surely the Stone I brought your poor mother from India was given to me as a talisman of some sort? You can't have been sharp enough to get hold of that!"

"How did you know?" cried d.i.c.k sharply. "Who told you?"

"I am right, then? Well, you are a clever fellow. I should like to know how you did it, now?"

"Did it with the Shtone," said d.i.c.k, evidently discomposed by such unexpected penetration, but unable to prevent a little natural complacency. "All my own idea. No one helped me. It--it washn't s...o...b..d for me, wash it?"

"Bad! it was capital!" cried Marmaduke enthusiastically. "It was a stroke of genius! And so my Indian Stone has done all this for you.

Sounds like an Arabian Night, by Jove! By-the-by, you don't happen to have it about you, do you? I should rather like to look at it again.

It's a real curiosity after this."

Paul trembled with anxiety. Would d.i.c.k be induced to part with it? If so, he was saved! But d.i.c.k looked at his uncle's outstretched hand, and wagged his head with tipsy cunning.

"I dareshay you would," he said, "but I'm not sho green as all that.

Don't let that Stone out of my hands for anyone."

"Why, I only wanted to look at it for a minute or two," said Marmaduke; "I wouldn't hurt it or lose it."

"You won' get chance," said d.i.c.k.

"Oh, very well," said Paradine carelessly, "just as you please, it doesn't matter; though when we come to talk things over a little, you may find it better to trust me more than that."

"Wha' do you mean?" said d.i.c.k uneasily.

"Well, I'll try to explain as well as I can, my boy (drink a little of this soda water first, it's an excellent thing after supper); there, you're better now, aren't you? Now, I've found you out, as you see; but only because I knew something of the powers of this Stone of yours, and guessed the rest. It doesn't at all follow that other people, who know nothing at all, will be as sharp; if you're more careful about your behaviour in future--unless, unless, young fellow----" and here he paused meaningly.

"Unless what?" asked d.i.c.k suspiciously.

"Unless I chose to tell them what I've found out."

"What would you tell them?" said d.i.c.k.

"What? Why, what I know of this talisman; tell them to use their eyes; they wouldn't be very long before they found out that something was wrong. And when one or two of your father's friends once get hold of the idea, your game will be very soon over--you know that as well as I do."

"But," stammered d.i.c.k, "you wouldn't go and do beastly mean thing like that? I've not been bad fellow to you."