Urban Banished Immortal Chapter 2

“Kang Jinlong, you’re here as well,” a barefoot, humongous guy said. He was no other than the Barefoot Immortal.

“Master!” the four divine soldiers shouted in a well-disciplined manner.

“Don’t worry, I’m just here to send Telepath Starlord off,” the Barefoot Immortal said as he stepped forward before smiling at Telepath Starlord.

“It seems like I’m not late. Son, don’t blame us for not helping you in the Divine Palace,” the G.o.d of Land, Zhenyuan arrived and said. “Son, once you’re in the mortal world, you can check out my temple. Although the scenery there isn’t as stunning as it used to be, it’s still considered to be a sacred land.”

“Oh Brother Zhenyuan is also here. I guess we’re not late then,” Li Tianw.a.n.g said. He rushed here together with Nezha.

After a while, the Four Kings, the remaining twenty-three of the Twenty Four Constellations, the Four Heavenly Kings, a few bodhisattvas and even the Seven G.o.ddesses rushed to the scene.

“Taibai, unseal him. We have to at least let him speak right?” Immortal Zhenyuan smiled and said to Taibai Jinxing who arrived the latest.

“Child, you don’t blame me right? I hope you understand that I’m also a victim of circ.u.mstance,” Taibai Jinxing shook his head and said, before unsealing Telepath Starlord.

“Fellow immortals, the time is up. We have to bring Telepath Starlord to the Six Paths of Reincarnation,” one of the escorting divine soldiers said softly after waiting for two whole hours.

“I’ll find my way down below. If anyone of you gets expelled from heaven as well, just look to me for foods, drinks, prost.i.tutes and gambling,” Telepath Starlord said his last words before walking towards the entrance of reincarnation with the four divine soldiers. The words of Telepath Starlord made the immortals speechless.

“Big Brother, which of the Six Paths of Reincarnation should the starlord enter?” the divine soldier who was standing behind asked.

“Fourth Brother, are you dumb? Can’t you see all the immortals who came just to send him off? If you dare to bring him to the animal path, it’ll be the end of you here. The human path it is, let the starlord proceed to the human path,” the leader said after looking at his fellow brothers who all looked like they wanted to kick Telepath Starlord into the animal path.

“Lord, you may proceed. Our mission is considered done now. The four of us will treat you to a feast should you ever return,” the leader smiled and said.

“The four of you, thanks a lot,” Telepath Starlord said before jumping into the human path. I would gladly accept banishment for seeing Chang’er naked but I didn’t get to see s.h.i.t. d.a.m.n it, the mortal world, I’m back again, Telepath Starlord thought.

Moon Palace had been the most mysterious place in heaven, not only because there lived the prettiest ladies, everyone who successfully made their way to heaven after reaching ascension would be told to not p.i.s.s off that one lady, otherwise the consequence is theirs to bear. Did Zhu Bajie really get banished into the mortal world because he teased Chang’er? Bulls.h.i.t. If he really did do that, he would’ve been turned into roasted pork long ago.

“Jade, Telepath Starlord got banished to the mortal world, you had a hand in that, didn’t you?” Chang’er asked Jade Rabbit with a smile.

“Sister, I wouldn’t dare to,” an extremely beautiful lady said softly, “The wine he makes is extraordinary. I only drank a few cups but he unexpectedly…”

“You two fell in love, did you?” Chang’er said, “Darned kid, since you want it this way, you should go down too.” After Chang’er finished speaking, she waved her precious hand. A giant door then appeared out of nowhere. Jade clenched her teeth and walked into it.

“Wu Gang, show yourself if you don’t want to die. To think that you’d actually dare to eavesdrop on my private conversations,” Chang’er shouted. A two-metre-tall, strong guy with a giant axe then walked out.

“Madam, will Jade be fine down there?” Wu Gang asked softly.

“I’ll let her have some fun down there for a few months. You’ll have to pick her up at that time. Did you fall for her as well?” Chang’er squinted as she said, “Jade has indeed been looking better each day. Her b.r.e.a.s.t.s are growing too.”

“I agree, the bigger the better!” Wu Gang said honestly.

“Whose do you think look better? Mine or hers?” Chang’er snickered and asked the yearning Wu Gang.

“Madam, yours are better without a doubt -- they’re much bigger than hers,” Wu Gang said, salivating.

“Big your a.s.s. Die!” Chang’er shouted. A life-threatening blow rushed towards Wu Gang. At this moment, he only started regretting what he said. Unable to react, he got thrown out tens of thousands of meters away, with his axe landing on his head. Fortunately, it was only the blunt side of the axe.

“Every guy is the same, they all suck,” Chang’er said with contempt.

“Master, mistress, I’m afraid young master cannot be saved anymore. His skull has fractured, pieces of broken rib bone have penetrated his lungs and his spine has been torn into eight pieces. It’s impossible to save him now,” an old man who looked like a doctor spoke softly to an old couple in a high-cla.s.s villa.

“Doctor Liu, please check again. Although Huai has been rebellious, he doesn’t deserve to die right? You have saved so many people in similar situations. Please take a look at him again,” the old mistress said as tears dropped from her eyes.

Doctor Liu nodded before entering the room once again. A young man was in bed. Despite his broken skull, it could still be seen that he was good-looking.

“Driving at a speed above three hundred kilometres per hour, he crashed directly into the hills. He’s already lucky enough to have returned home alive. How am I supposed to save him?” Liu Yidao said as he touched the young man’s arm, “It may be a good thing that he’s dead. At least Wucheng County would have one less villain.”

Telepath Starlord arrived at the mortal world and did not immediately reincarnate, unlike others. He had a talisman that allowed his soul to move around. Start over? I don’t have so much time to waste. Since I arrived at the human world, I’ll enjoy my time here to the fullest, Telepath Starlord thought. Using a day’s time, he got a general understanding of how the world worked. He also happened to pa.s.s by the scene of the car accident involving the young master of Guo family.

“This young man looks quite good. Judging by the car he drives, his financial situation should be excellent. It’s just that his body is a bit weak. Since I don’t know if I can rise to be an immortal again in this life, I guess you’ll do then,” Telepath Starlord said before placing a soul talisman on the young master of Guo family.

“Master, mistress, the yo-young master can be saved,” Liu Yidao came out from Guo Huai’s room half an hour later and stammered. He had no doubts that Guo Huai would die not long ago. However, without even receiving surgery, Guo Huai’s body magically recovered completely. While he still seemed to be in critical situation, he only had some minor injuries in reality.

“Doctor Liu, ar-are you serious? Is Huai really fine now?” the mistress of Guo family asked, sobbing. If her only grandson Guo Huai were to die, the shock she would receive would be devastating.

“When I was in young master’s room cleaning him up, I noticed the skull that was previously ma.s.sively damaged was magically intact again. This is a miracle, a definite miracle! However, he still needs some time to recover,” Liu Yidao said softly. He had no idea how Guo Huai recovered. Since he had no clue, he might as well take the credit.

“Doctor Liu, here’s one million yuan, please keep it. Huai would still need your help for his recovery,” the master of Guo family said gratefully before handing Liu Yidao a bank cheque.

“Don’t worry, master. I’ll give it my best to help the young master recover,” Liu Yidao said as he received the cheque.

TL note: A lot of mythological figures have been mentioned in this chapter. Don’t worry, most of them will never appear again in future chapters.