Underestimated Part 64

He let me go. I stood in front of the mirror looking shamefully at my reflection. I wondered if there were cameras in the newly remodeled shower. What the h.e.l.l was I doing? What in the world was I thinking? I stayed in the hot shower for as long as I could, trying to wash away my shame. It didn't work.

Drew was gone when I came out. I walked around the beautiful transformed room and then back to the baby's room. I took in every little detail. He had really gone above and beyond. The room was a mother's dream room.

I sat in the gliding rocking chair and imagined myself holding my son as I rocked back and forth. I hadn't even realized that I had fallen asleep until Drew woke me for supper.

I opened my eyes to sweet kisses on my eyelids and then my lips. I smiled. One minute I hated this man and the next, I couldn't get enough of him. I wished there was a magic pill, a pill that would miraculously guide me in the right direction.

"You're the most beautiful mother to be on earth,"

he whispered.

"I fell asleep, didn't I?"

"You did. I like the idea of you falling asleep rocking my son."

"I was rocking him, wasn't I?" I smiled, realizing that I was indeed rocking my son. I couldn't say our son. I didn't know whose son I was rocking. I didn't know if I was rocking Brady Aaron Bade or Nicholas Andrew Kelly. I wasn't sure that I could keep this up for three more months. I wished I knew.

"Are you hungry," Drew asked, pulling me from my thoughts.

"I'm always hungry," I a.s.sured him.

I spent four days being in total love with my

husband. We laughed, went for walks, watched a football game at the nearby high school, made love countless times, and fell asleep naked in each other's arms. I talked to Dawson every day and he never suspected a thing. I was supposed to stay for two more days, but Drew had to fly to New York. He begged me to go with him, but I didn't. I didn't want to be stuck in a hotel while he was out taking care of business. We made plans to meet at my mother's in two weeks.

I spent the last night wrapped in his arms, dreading the thought of leaving him. Two weeks seemed like so far away. I drifted off to sleep after making love for the last time. I slept so soundly. I didn't even know that I was dreaming. When I finally realized what was going on Drew had me in his arms, trying to wake me.

"Shhhh, you're okay, I've got you," he said, brushing my damp hair from my forehead.

"Dawson?" I whimpered, still incoherent. I felt him stiffen and then move off the bed.

s.h.i.t. It wasn't Dawson.

"Drew?" I said to his dark silhouette.

He sat on the side of the bed and placed his head in his hands. I touched his arm, and he took my hand and brought it to his lips.

"You feel protected with him, don't you?"

What? What the h.e.l.l did I say?

"I feel protected with you too," I tried.

"No, you don't. You have no idea how it makes me feel when you wake up like that."

"What did I say?"

He shook his head and breathed a deep breath.

"Tell me, Drew," I demanded.

"You were begging me not to hit you again. You were promising not to be a bad girl and telling me that you would do what I wanted" he confessed.

s.h.i.t. Stupid nightmares.

"Drew, don't, it's okay."

He jumped up. "It's not okay, Morgan! I don't deserve you. I don't deserve this baby. You don't deserve me. You deserve someone like Dawson, someone that is going to respect and take care of you."

"You know what, Drew? You are absolutely right," I was getting angry with him. I didn't want him to act like this when I knew that he was leaving me in a couple of hours. His head snapped toward me. "You don't want me to bring up the past, then you're not allowed to either. I love you, d.a.m.nit. I wouldn't be here if I didn't."

"Why?"

"I have no idea why. I have asked myself that same question a million times. I love you and I don't want to lose you."

"But you don't want to lose Dawson either, right?"

he asked, coming back to me. I didn't want to lose Dawson. I loved him too. He was my safety net.

I didn't answer. I couldn't answer him. I didn't know what to say. Nothing I could have said would have made any sense, not to him and not to me. I needed them both.

"You need to decide, Morgan. If you don't want me, then tell me. Stop keeping me at bay. Either be with me or don't. I can't wait any longer. I have tried my best to give you time. I've given you almost six months. You have to choose, Morgan."

I knew I had to choose. I didn't want to choose. I wanted to keep them both in my life until I figured out who this baby's dad was. Drew would never understand that.

Dawson would never understand that. No matter what I decided, someone was going to get hurt. Why didn't I just do the stupid paternity test?

"I can't give you an answer right this second, Drew," I said. I couldn't. I knew that as soon as I was back in Dawson's arms, I would be right back to thinking I needed him as much as I was feeling like I needed Drew when I was with him.

Drew lay back down and pulled me in his arms with a heavy sigh.

"I love you, Morgan," he whispered.

"I love you too, Drew. I really do."

Drew was gone when I woke. I knew he had to leave before daylight. I didn't like it. I felt alone, sad, hurt, confused. I wanted him back. I wanted to be everywhere he was. I wanted Drew. I decided right that moment that I wanted Drew.

I walked up to our new master bedroom again before showering and getting ready to head back home to Maine, to Dawson. I smiled when I opened the baby's room. I thumbed through the tiny infant clothing and wondered if Drew had picked them out. There was no way that he would ever wear all of them. There were at least twenty little sleepers. I picked up the tiny little tuxedo and smiled at the embroidery that read 'Daddy's little a.s.sistant.'

"Oh, Drew what am I going to do?" I said out loud to the empty room.

I smiled again when I read Drew's text.

"You could start with coming home to me."

There were cameras. I looked around the room and answered my phone.

"Where are you?" I asked as soon as I saw that it was Drew.

"Waiting for a client. You look good in there."

"I can't believe you put cameras in here."

"You didn't really think I was going to leave my baby in there all alone without being able to look at him whenever I wanted, did you?"

"No. I guess not," I replied. Why did I feel so raw, so torn and undone?

"There is one right above the mobile. I can see him sleeping from anywhere."

I smiled and looked around the room for a camera.

"I'm going to take a shower. By any chance are there cameras in there too?" I asked.

"Of course," he replied. I didn't mind. I laughed and shook my head.

"Will you call me later?"

"You call me when you land."

"I will. I love you, Drew."

"I love you too, baby."

I thought about calling Dawson, but changed my mind. One, I didn't want Drew to know that I was calling him, and two, I wanted to surprise him. He wasn't expecting me for two more days. I knew it would be later when I got home. I thought I would just show up at his house.

I showered and walked downstairs to wait for Gary. I opened Drew's office door, and Celeste was sitting at Drew's desk. I wasn't expecting to see her there.

I had a.s.sumed she was with Drew. She was on the phone barking orders. I thought she sounded a lot like Drew. I felt sorry for the person on the other end. She smiled and waved me inside. I didn't really want to talk to her. I was just going to leave Drew a little note on his desk.

I listened while she talked.

"I don't care. If I wanted your excuses, I would have asked for them. You take care of this, and you take care of it now. Do I make myself clear?"

Wow, she was beautiful and powerful. Was she doing my husband? That was the question that I wanted answered. I was sure that she was. She was gorgeous, strong, and proud. She was a female version of Drew.

"Sorry about that," she smiled and sat in his chair once she hung up.

"Um, it's okay. I was just going to leave Drew a note. I didn't know you were here. I will just text him." I wasn't sure why, but I was intimidated by this women.

"Sit down, let's talk."

What the f.u.c.k? I didn't want to talk to her. I didn't even like her, and I sure as h.e.l.l didn't like her spending more time with my husband than I did.

I sat. Just like I would have had Drew told me to. I didn't speak. I wasn't about to speak first. I had no idea what to say to her. We had never even spoke before, other than the polite, h.e.l.lo, how are you?

"How's the pregnancy coming?" she asked.

"Oh, moving right along," I awkwardly replied.

She smiled. "Morgan, I hope you don't think that there is anything going on between Drew and myself."

What the h.e.l.l? Did I make it obvious? I decided to be honest.

"I do worry about the two of you traveling and spending so much time together. Things happen," I point blank told her. She laughed. The b.i.t.c.h laughed. I mean really laughed. She thought I was being silly. I could tell.

She stood and took her purse from the hook on the closet door. I wondered what she was doing when she pulled out a picture of the cutest little blonde haired boy ever.

"This is my son, Vincent," she said. I smiled at the little guy. He was adorable and had her blonde hair and emerald green eyes. She was married. I hoped she was happily married, but still, even married people slipped.

"This is my companion," she said handing me another picture of her, the little boy and another beautiful dark haired female.

Oh my G.o.d. She's gay.

I looked up to her smiling down at me.

"I promise, nothing would ever happen between your husband and me. He's not really my type," she teased.

I smiled. That made me feel so much better.

"Does Drew know?"

"Yes, he knows. I told him on the very first interview."

That b.a.s.t.a.r.d.

After talking to Celeste for almost an hour, I decided that I liked her. She even made me feel important when she answered the phone and told three different people that she was busy and would get back with them.

She didn't ask too many questions, but I was sure that she was aware of our situation. She had to know. She knew that I was never around. I wondered how much Drew had disclosed. Did they talk? Did he confide in her?

Marta knocked on the door letting me know that Gary was there for me.

"Here, give me your phone," Celeste, requested, standing.

I handed her my phone, and she programmed her number." If you ever need anything, you give me a call. I am here if you need to talk."

I smiled and thanked her. I wasn't sure how to respond. I was a little shocked. I couldn't believe that Celeste was gay. It was a load off of my mind, none the less. I hoped that she didn't say anything to Drew about our talk. I was going to keep letting him think that I thought he was doing her.