Unc' Edinburg Part 1

Unc' Edinburg.

by Thomas Nelson Page.

"Well, suh, dat's a fac--dat's what Ma.r.s.e George al'ays said. 'Tis hard to spile Christmas anyways."

The speaker was "Unc' Edinburg," the driver from Werrowc.o.ke, where I was going to spend Christmas; the time was Christmas Eve, and the place the muddiest road in eastern Virginia--a measure which, I feel sure, will, to those who have any experience, establish its claim to distinction.

A half-hour before he had met me at the station, the queerest-looking, raggedest old darkey conceivable, brandishing a cedar-staffed whip of enormous proportions in one hand, and clutching in the other a calico letter-bag with a twisted string; and with the exception of a brief interval of temporary suspicion on his part, due to the unfortunate fact that my luggage consisted of only a hand-satchel instead of a trunk, we had been steadily progressing in mutual esteem.

"Dee's a boy standin' by my mules; I got de ker'idge heah for you," had been his first remark on my making myself known to him. "Mistis say as how you might bring a trunk."

I at once saw my danger, and muttered something about "a short visit,"

but this only made matters worse.

"Dee don' n.o.body nuver pay short visits dyah," he said, decisively, and I fell to other tactics.

"You couldn' spile Christmas den noways," he repeated, reflectingly, while his little mules trudged knee-deep through the mud. "Twuz Christmas den, sho' 'nough," he added, the fires of memory smouldering, and then, as they blazed into sudden flame, he a.s.serted, positively: "Dese heah free-issue n.i.g.g.e.rs don' know what Christmas is. Hawg meat an' pop crackers don' meck Christmas. Hit tecks ole times to meck a sho'-'nough, tyahin'-down Christmas. Gord! I's seen 'em! But de wuss Christmas I ever seen tunned out de best in de een," he added, with sudden warmth, "an' dat wuz de Christmas me an' Ma.r.s.e George an'

Reveller all got drownded down at Braxton's Creek. You's hearn 'bout dat'?"

As he was sitting beside me in solid flesh and blood, and looked as little ethereal in his old hat and patched clothes as an old oak stump would have done, and as Colonel Staunton had made a world-wide reputation when he led his regiment through the Chickahominy thickets against McClellan's intrenchments, I was forced to confess that I had never been so favored, but would like to hear about it now; and with a hitch of the lap blanket under his outside knee, and a supererogatory jerk of the reins, he began:

"Well, you know, Ma.r.s.e George was jes' eighteen when he went to college. I went wid him, 'cause me an' him wuz de same age; I was born like on a Sat'day in de Christmas, an' he wuz born in de new year on a Chuesday, an' my mammy nussed us bofe at one breast. Dat's de reason maybe huccome we took so to one nurr. He sutney set a heap o' sto' by me; an' I ain' nuver see n.o.body yit wuz good to me as Ma.r.s.e George."

The old fellow, after a short reverie, went on:

"Well, we growed up togerr, jes as to say two stalks in one hill. We cotch ole hyahs togerr, an' we hunted 'possums togerr, an' 'c.o.o.ns.

Lord! he wuz a climber! I 'member a fight he had one night up in de ve'y top of a big poplar tree wid a c.o.o.n, whar he done gone up after, an' he flung he hat over he head; an' do' de varmint leetle mo' tyah him all to pieces, he fotch him down dat tree 'live; an' me an' him had him at Christmas. 'c.o.o.n meat mighty good when dee fat, you know?"

As this was a direct request for my judgment, I did not have the moral courage to raise an issue, although my views on the subject of 'c.o.o.n meat are well known to my family; so I grunted something which I doubt not he took for a.s.sent, and he proceeded:

"Dee warn' nuttin he didn' lead de row in; he wuz de bes' swimmer I ever see, an' he handled a skiff same as a fish handle heself. An' I wuz wid him constant; wharever you see Ma.r.s.e George, dyah Edinburg sho', jes' like he shadow. So twuz, when he went to de university; 'twarn' nuttin would do but I got to go too. Marster he didn' teck much to de notion, but Ma.r.s.e George wouldn' have it no urrway, an'

co'se mistis she teck he side. So I went 'long as he body-servant to teck keer on him an' help meck him a gent'man. An' he wuz, too. From time he got dyah tell he c.u.m 'way he wuz de head man.

"Dee warn' but one man dyah didn' compliment him, an' dat wuz Mr.

Darker. But he warn' nuttin! not dat he didn' come o' right good fambly--'cep' dee politics; but he wuz sutney pitted, jes' like sometimes you see a weevly runty pig in a right good litter. Well, Mr.

Darker he al'ays 'ginst Ma.r.s.e George; he hate me and him bofe, an' he sutney act mischeevous todes us; 'cause he know he warn' as we all. De Stauntons dee wuz de popularitiest folks in Virginia; an' dee wuz high-larnt besides. So when Ma.r.s.e George run for de medal, an' wuz to meck he gret speech, Mr. Darker he speak 'ginst him. Dat's what Ma.r.s.e George whip him 'bout. 'Ain' n.o.body nuver told you 'bout dat?"

I again avowed my misfortune; and although it manifestly aroused new doubts, he worked it off on the mules, and once more took up his story:

"Well, you know, dee had been speakin' 'ginst one nurr ev'y Sat'dy night; and ev'ybody knowed Ma.r.s.e George wuz de bes' speaker, but dee give him one mo' sho', an' dee was bofe gwine spread deeselves, an' dee wuz two urr gent'mens also gwine speak. An' dat night when Mr. Darker got up he meck sich a fine speech ev'ybody wuz s'prised; an' some on 'em say Mr. Darker done beat Ma.r.s.e George. But, shuh! I know better'n dat; an' Ma.r.s.e George face look so curious; but, suh, when he riz I knowed der wuz somen gwine happen--I wuz leanin' in de winder. He jes step out in front an' throwed up he head like a horse wid a rank kyurb on him, and den he begin; an' twuz jes like de river when hit gits out he bank. He swep' ev'ything. When he fust open he mout I knowed twuz comin'; he face wuz pale, an' he wuds tremble like a fiddle-string, but he eyes wuz blazin', an' in a minute he wuz jes reshin'. He voice soun' like a bell; an' he jes wallered dat turr man, an' wared him out; an' when he set down dee all yelled an' hollered so you couldn' heah you' ears. Gent'-mans, twuz royal!

"Den dee tuck de vote, an' Ma.r.s.e George got it munanimous, an' dee all hollered agin, all 'cep' a few o' Mr. Darker's friends. An' Mr. Darker he wuz de second. An' den dee broke up. An' jes den Ma.r.s.e George walked thoo de crowd straight up to him, an' lookin' him right in de eyes, says to him, 'You stole dat speech you made to-night.' Well, suh, you ought to 'a hearn 'em; hit soun' like a mill-dam. You couldn'

heah nuttin 'cep' roarin', an' you couldn' see nuttin 'cep' shovin'.

But, big as he wuz, Ma.r.s.e George beat him; an' when dee pull him off, do' he face wuz mighty pale, he stan' out befo' 'em all, dem whar wuz 'ginst him, an' all, jes as straight as an arrow, an' say: 'Dat speech wuz written an' printed years ago by somebody or nurr in Congress, an'

this man stole it; had he beat me only, I should not have said one word; but as he has beaten others, I shall show him up!' Gord, suh, he voice wuz clear as a game rooster. I sutney wuz proud on him.

"He did show him up, too, but Mr. Darker ain' wait to see it; he lef'

dat night. An' Ma.r.s.e George he wuz de popularitiest gent'man at dat university. He could handle dem students dyah same as a man handle a hoe.

"Well, twuz de next Christmas we meet Miss Charlotte an' Nancy. Mr.

Braxton invite we all to go down to spen' Christmas wid him at he home.

An' sich a time as we had!

"We got dyah Christmas Eve night--dis very night--jes befo' supper, an'

jes natch.e.l.ly froze to death," he pursued, dealing in his wonted hyperbole, "an' we jes had time to git a apple toddy or two when supper was ready, an' wud come dat dee wuz waitin' in de hall. I had done fix Ma.r.s.e George up gorgeousome, I tell you; an when he walk down dem stairs in dat swaller-tail coat, an' dem paten'-leather pumps on, dee warn nay one dyah could tetch him; he looked like he own 'em all. I jes rest my mind. I seen him when he shake hands wid 'em all roun', an' I say, 'Um-m-m! he got 'em.'

"But he ain' teck noticement o' none much tell Miss Charlotte come.

She didn' live dyah, had jes come over de river dat evenin' from her home, 'bout ten miles off, to spen' Christmas like we all, an' she come down de stairs jes as Ma.r.s.e George finish shakin' hands. I seen he eye light on her as she come down de steps smilin', wid her dim blue dress trainin' behind her, an' her little blue foots peepin' out so pretty, an' holdin' a little hankcher, lookin' like a spider-web, in one hand, an' a gret blue fan in turr, spread out like a peac.o.c.k tail, an' jes her roun' arms an' th'oat white, an' her gret dark eyes lightin' up her face. I say, 'Dyah 'tis!' and when de ole Cun'l stan' aside an'

interduce 'em, and Ma.r.s.e George step for'ard an' meck he grand bow, an'

she sort o' swing back an' gin her curtchy, wid her dress sort o'

dammed up 'ginst her, an' her arms so white, an' her face sort o'

sunsetty, I say, 'Yes, Lord! Edinburg, dyah you mistis.' Ma.r.s.e George look like he think she done come down right from de top o' de blue sky an' bring piece on it wid her. He ain' nuver took he eyes from her dat night. Dee glued to her, mun! an' she--well, do' she mighty rosy, an'

look mighty unconsarned, she sutney ain' hender him. Hit look like kyarn n.o.body else tote dat fan an' pick up dat hankcher skusin o' him; an' after supper, when dee all playin' blind-man's-buff in de hall--I don' know how twuz--but do' she jes as nimble as a filly, an' her ankle jes as clean, an' she kin git up her dress an' dodge out o' de way o'

ev'ybody else, somehow or nurr she kyarn help him ketchin' her to save her life; he al'ays got her corndered; an' when dee'd git fur apart, dat ain' nuttin, dee jes as sure to come togerr agin as water is whar you done run you hand thoo. An' do' he kiss ev'ybody else under de mistletow, 'cause dee be sort o' cousins, he ain' nuver kiss her, nor n.o.body else ain't nurr, 'cep' de ole Cun'l. I wuz standin' down at de een de hall wid de black folks, an' I notice it 'tic'lar, 'cause I done meck de 'quaintance o' Nancy; she wuz Miss Charlotte's maid; a mighty likely young gal she wuz den, an' jes as impident as a fly. She see it too, do' she ain' 'low it.

"Fust thing I know I seen a mighty likely light-skinned gal standin'

dyah by me, wid her hyah mos' straight as white folks, an' a mighty good frock on, an' a clean ap.r.o.n, an' her hand mos' like a lady, only it brown, an' she keep on 'vidin' her eyes twix me an' Miss Charlotte; when I watchin' Miss Charlotte she watchin' me, an' when I steal my eye 'roun' on her she noticin' Miss Charlotte; an' presney I sort o' sidle 'longside her, an' I say, 'Lady, you mighty sprightly to-night.' An'

she say she 'bleeged to be sprightly, her mistis look so good; an' I ax her which one twuz, an' she tell me, 'Dat queen one over dyah,' an' I tell her dee's a king dyah too, she got her eye set for; an' when I say her mistis tryin' to set her cap for Ma.r.s.e George, she fly up, an' say she an' her mistis don' have to set dee cap for n.o.body; _dee_ got to set dee cap an' all dee clo'es for dem, an' den dee ain' gwine cotch 'em cause dee ain' studyin' 'bout no up-country folks whar dee ain'

n.o.body know nuttin 'bout.

"Well, dat oudaciousness so aggrivate me, I lite into dat n.i.g.g.e.r right dyah. I tell her she ain' been nowhar 'tall ef she don' know we all; dat we wuz de bes' of quality, de ve'y top de pot; an' den I tell her 'bout how gret we wuz; how de ker'idges wuz al'ays. .h.i.tched up night an'

day, an' n.i.g.g.e.rs jes thick as weeds; an' how Unc' Torm he wared he swaller-tail ev'y day when he wait on de table; and Ma.r.s.e George he won' wyah a coat mo'n once or twice anyways, to save you life. Oh! I sutney 'stonish dat n.i.g.g.e.r, 'cause I wuz teckin up for de fambly, an' I meck out like dee use gold up home like urr folks use wood, an' sow silver like urr folks sow wheat; an' when I got thoo dee wuz all on 'em listenin', an' she 'lowed dat Ma.r.s.e George he were ve'y good, sho 'nough, 'ef twarn for he n.i.g.g.e.r; but I ain' tarrifyin' myself none 'bout dat, 'cause I know she jes projickin, an' she couldn' help bein'

impident ef you wuz to whup de frock off her back.

"Jes den dee struck up de dance. Dee had wheel de pianer out in de hall, an' somebody say Jack Forester had come cross de river, an' all on 'em say dee mus' git Jack; an' presney he come in wid he fiddle, grinnin' and sc.r.a.pin', 'cause he wuz a notable fiddler, do' I don'

think he wuz equal to we all's Tubal, an' I know he couldn' tech Ma.r.s.e George, 'cause Ma.r.s.e George wuz a natchel fiddler, jes like 'c.o.o.ns is natchel pacers, an' mules an' womens is natchel kickers. Howsomever, he sutney jucked a jig sweet, an' when he shake dat bow you couldn'

help you foot switchin' a leetle--not ef you wuz a member of de chutch.

He wuz a mighty sinful man, Jack wuz, an' dat fiddle had done drawed many souls to torment.

"Well, in a minute dee wuz all flyin', an' Jack he wuz rockin' like boat rockin' on de water, an' he face right shiny, an' he teef look like ear o' corn he got in he mout, an' he big foot set way out keepin'

time, an' Ma.r.s.e George he was in de lead row dyah too; ev'y chance he git he tunned Miss Charlotte--'petchel motion, right hand across, an'

cauliflower, an' croquette--dee croquette plenty o' urrs, but I notice dee ain' nuver fail to tun one nurr, an' ev'y tun he gin she wrappin'

de chain roun'him. Once when dee wuz 'prominadin-all' down we all's een o' de hall, as he tunned her somebody step on her dress an' to' it.

I heah de screech o' de silk, an' Nancy say, 'O Lord!' den she say, 'Nem mine! now I'll git it!' an' dee stop for a minute for Ma.r.s.e George to pin 't up, while turrers went on, an' Ma.r.s.e George wuz down on he knee, an' she look down on him mighty sweet out her eyes, an' say, 'Hit don' meck no difference,' an' he glance up an' cotch her eye, an', jes 'dout a wud, he tyah a gret piece right out de silk an' slipt it in he bosom, an' when he got up, he say, right low, lookin' in her eyes real deep, 'I gwine wyah dis at my weddin',' an' she jes look sweet as candy; an' ef Nancy ever wyah dat frock I ain' see it.

"Den presney dee wuz talkin' 'bout stoppin'. De ole Cun'l say hit time to have prars, an' dee wuz beggin' him to wait a leetle while; an' Jack Forester lay he fiddle down nigh Ma.r.s.e George, an' he picked 't up an'

drawed de bow 'cross it jes to try it, an' den jes projickin' he struck dat chune 'bout 'You'll ermember me.' He hadn' mo'n tech de string when you couldn' heah a pin drap. Ma.r.s.e George he warn noticin', an'

he jes lay he face on de fiddle, wid he eyes sort o' half shet, an'

drawed her out like he'd do some nights at home in dee moonlight on de gret porch, tell on a sudden he looked up an' cotch Miss Charlotte eye leanin' for'ards so earnest, an' all on 'em list'nin', an' he stopt, an' dee all clapt dee hands, an' he sudney drapt into a jig. Jack Forester ain' had to play no mo' dat night. Even de ole Cun'l ketched de fever, an' he stept out in de flo' in he long-tail coat an' high collar, an' knocked 'em off de 's...o...b..d on de Ash-bank,' an' 'Chicken in de Bread-tray,' right natchel.

"Oh, he could jes plank 'em down!

"Oh, dat wuz a Christmas like you been read 'bout! An' twuz hard to tell which gittin cotch most, Ma.r.s.e George or me; 'cause dat n.i.g.g.e.r she jes as confusin' as Miss Charlotte. An' she sutney wuz sp'ilt dem days; ev'y n.i.g.g.e.r on dat place got he eye on her, an' she jes az oudacious an' aggravatin as jes womens kin be.

"Dees monsus 'ceivin critters, womens is, jes as onreliable as de hind-leg of a mule; a man got to watch 'em all de time; you kyarn break 'em like you kin horses.