Twelve Days: The Beginning Part 18

As Vaughn pulled into his parking s.p.a.ce and killed the engine, he put his hand on her arm to stop her when she went to get out of his car.

"This isn't the end, Elise. Promise me that you won't give up on us now. I know that we have a lot to work through and that this is not ideal timing - perhaps for either of us - but this needs to happen. I need this to happen." He released a breath and ran his hand through his hair, leaving it to flop adorably over his face. She loved it when he did that.

"We've got Christmas coming up," he continued, "so I'll be heading over to my sister's for a few days. We'll be apart by necessity but you have to remember what I've said and trust that I mean this. After Christmas we'll talk, I promise. This will happen."

Elise looked across at Vaughn and nodded. "I don't have any answers," she said "but last night changed a lot of things for me too and I know that I'm not done here either. Maybe the time apart will be good for us less intense. Perhaps with clearer heads we'll be able to sort through what this all means to us individually."

Her words sounded convincing but her heart was beyond believing them. The thought of not seeing him for a few days was already tearing her apart and it terrified her how far he had insinuated himself into her life in such a short s.p.a.ce of time. She had no idea how she was going to go home and pretend like everything was exactly as it always had been. She was no actress but she was going to have to find some skills from somewhere, somehow.

Vaughn leaned across and grabbed her face in-between his hands, making sure that she looked directly into his eyes.

"I have no right to ask this, but I am going to anyway." He hesitated, almost as if searching for the right words. "Can you promise me that you won't sleep with Dale? I can't bear to think of him touching you. I know that he is your husband and that you both have every right to in a way, but I just need to hold onto the fact that you are being faithful to me while we are apart however twisted that might sound."

Totally twisted but utterly beautiful. Elise turned her head and kissed his palm, lingering there for a moment.

"I can't promise you that I won't have s.e.x with Dale. If he's had a drink then...well, you know. But I can promise you that I won't sleep with Dale voluntarily. It's been a long time since it's been consensual anyway....." she stopped as painful memories crowded in and she mentally pushed them away. "Since last night, there is no way that I could give him what he needs now. I need to move on from my life with him but you are going to have to let me sort it out in my own way and in my own time. That's the best I can promise."

Vaughn looked at her and she watched as a sudden expression of fury flitted across his face, the anger from earlier returning and he focused directly in on the first part of her statement.

"Will that b.a.s.t.a.r.d force you, Elise? Will he? s.h.i.t! How the h.e.l.l can I leave you now?"

"Hey..." she said placatingly, cupping his hands that were still holding her face. "I don't know whether he will or not; chances are that he won't sometimes he overdoes the alcohol just a little too much if you know what I mean. Try not to worry, I'll be fine." She hoped rather than believed that that would be the case. Christmas always meant s.e.x but she wasn't about to tell Vaughn that. She had coped with it every year up until now and she would cope with it again. This year would be different though because maybe this year, she would be coping with it in the knowledge that this would be her last year, and in the madness that was her life, what better Christmas present could she ask for than that?

Vaughn looked at her with disbelief and worry in his eyes but he obviously realised that there was little he could do and that he would just have to trust that she would be ok.

"I hate the thought of leaving you now." He said, "You have no idea how much I wish things were different."

She smiled at him. "Me too, but it is what it is and I promise it'll all be fine. One day, this will sort itself out it has to."

Vaughn moved his thumbs and began gently caressing her cheeks as he continued to gaze into her eyes and she dropped her hands to her lap. For long moments words were unnecessary until eventually he broke the silence.

"Elise, why don't you wear a wedding ring?" he asked and she could tell that he placed a lot of importance on the symbolism of this gesture.

She shrugged - the answer wasn't anywhere near as mysterious as the effect it clearly had on him.

"A few years back I got an allergy and had really bad eczema on my hands. My fingers were sore and swollen so I had to remove all my rings. They thought it was something to do with the stress and medication....." she stopped, realising that she had inadvertently revealed something that she wasn't ready to go into and desperately hoped that he wouldn't pursue it. "Anyway, by the time my hands had healed, things weren't great between Dale and I and it just never seemed the right time to put it back on. I kept expecting him to mention it but he never did. I guess it's because I kept my maiden name as well perhaps he just didn't think it was that important. We've never talked about it since."

Vaughn moved his hands to cover hers and deliberately ran his finger up and down the third finger on her left hand all the while watching his actions, totally entranced.

"I can't imagine why anyone wouldn't want their ring on your finger." He said. "If you were mine, there would be no question of anyone thinking you were anything but married to me."

His last words were spoken forcefully and Elise was surprised at the emotion behind them. Although she understood the symbolism of the ring, the fact that she didn't wear it didn't make her any less married than if she did. Clearly Vaughn didn't share that view and in some ways she could see what he meant. The ring was visual and gave out an instant message and for the first time she could understand how her not wearing a ring could be a cause for confusion and misunderstanding.

Suddenly there was a loud knocking on the car window which made them both jump, and they instantly broke apart.

Elise recovered first and wound down her window. "s.h.i.t, Cole! You really need to stop sneaking up on me I swear you are going to give me a heart attack one day!"

Cole just smiled at her with infuriating innocence. "Hey, beautiful! Good conference?" He leaned in further to address Vaughn, "They're waiting for you upstairs. Apparently Annabel had to let them know the second you entered the building so she has been watching the security camera like a hawk. They know you're back, mate, and they're not too pleased."

"s.h.i.t." Vaughn said and reached over to give Elise's hand one last squeeze before exiting the car. Cole opened Elise's door and helped her out before enveloping her in a big hug.

"So, what happened? Can't I leave you on your own for five minutes?" She could feel Cole's chest rumbling against hers as he spoke and she allowed herself a brief moment to inhale his comforting scent.

"Ha ha, very funny." She pushed away from him and went around to the boot to collect her bag. Vaughn already had his and was about to walk into the building when Cole stopped him.

"Vaughn, Elise there's something you need to know. That's why I came down here. I wanted to give you the heads up." He stopped and took Elise's hand, rubbing it absently with his thumb. Vaughn's eyes drifted and noted the gesture but he didn't comment.

"Everyone knows what happened at the conference; it's all round the office. It seems that Tilly called Annabel to let her know you would be coming back early and well, you can imagine the rest. The rumour mill is in overdrive and although no one knows the full story people are speculating about why you would get into a fight over Elise, Vaughn. Everyone knows she is married and the reactions are ranging from shock to morbid excitement, depending on which side of the fence you are sitting on. Stephen and I have been fire-fighting for the last couple of hours but there is only so much we can do. Oh and Elise, Olivia is seriously p.i.s.sed." Cole finished talking and glanced across at Elise. So too did Vaughn.

"s.h.i.t! Christ, Elise, I am so sorry I just didn't think. f.u.c.k what a mess." Vaughn rubbed his hand across his eyes. "I better go in and talk to them and see what I can do. It's no one's business but ours. Christ, I really didn't want your name dragged through the mud over this."

Elise reached across and put a hand on his arm. "It's OK, Vaughn," she said resigned, "This was bound to come out sooner or later. Later would have been better but we'll have to deal with it, I guess. I'll be the scarlet woman for a while but the people that matter to me know the truth and that's all I care about." As she finished speaking, a sudden thought crossed her mind.

"Christ Dale! Does he know any of this?" As far as she was aware, Dale was not on speaking terms with any of her colleagues but he had met some of them a few times at various functions. If he had happened to phone in for her, maybe to see what time she was getting back, then someone may have let it slip. Technically, all that had happened was that Vaughn had defended her against some over amorous delegate. Unfortunately his behaviour was so over the top, that she doubted anyone would believe that that was all there was to it. All it took was a vivid imagination and the very efficient rumour mill and, hey presto, something very close to the truth could easily be circulating.

"Not as far as I know, babe." answered Cole, "but I wouldn't know if he's called your direct line and spoken to anyone. Hopefully, if he did, he spoke to Stephen. Annabel said that no one had called for you when I asked her on the way down. I've been telling everyone to mind their own business and that you would never cheat on your husband but I don't know how much good it's done. The evidence is fairly overwhelming and from the look on your faces I know that I've been lying to them. Everyone else will see it in a heartbeat. We can keep lying, babe, and you know I would do that for you but maybe it's time to face up to all of this. When people know the whole truth about your life, they won't judge you because they won't be able to. Besides which, I really am a c.r.a.p liar."

Elise gave Cole a watery smile he really was the world's worst liar, just as she had told Vaughn herself earlier today. Maybe she did need to own up to the truth but in the cold light of day, what the h.e.l.l had it got to do with any of her colleagues anyway? Her marriage may be in trouble but that was no one's business but hers and she was d.a.m.ned if she was going to let some dried up old harridans dictate who should and shouldn't know.

"Thanks, Cole, but I'm not owning up to anything. It's no one's right to know what is going on in mine or Vaughn's life. The only people that are interested are those that are too sad to have a life of their own. The important people in my life know the truth the rest of them can just believe what the h.e.l.l they like. If you don't feel comfortable lying then don't. Just tell them you don't know anything and leave it at that."

"It's not that simple," Cole replied, "Olivia has been telling anyone who will listen that she saw you and Vaughn leaving the nightclub together the other night. Even I didn't know about that so I've had a h.e.l.l of a job trying to convince people that it was innocent. Stephen has been saying that he and Vaughn were there together at a party and that they left together later but people would rather believe Olivia's version. Elise, you and I really need to talk but for now - you've got some pretty serious s.h.i.t to face." Cole looked at her and for the first time she saw the hurt in his eyes. She hadn't been honest with him and hadn't had the chance to in reality, but even so, as far as Cole was concerned, she had been holding out on him and as a result had hurt him in the worst possible way.

"That b.i.t.c.h!" Vaughn said, "Who the h.e.l.l gave her the right to be judge and jury on my life?" He was seriously angry now but so was Elise. She was mad at herself for getting herself into this situation and mad that she had hurt Cole. She needed someone to lash out at and if it hadn't been for Vaughn sleeping with Olivia after the Christmas party then maybe Olivia wouldn't have had an axe to grind and none of this would have escalated like it so obviously had.

"I think you'll find you gave her the right," she spat back at him, "when you went and slept with her just over a week ago!"

"You're seriously taking this out on me?" Vaughn asked incredulously, "Throwing something back in my face that you believe to be true after everything that has happened?"

"Who the f.u.c.k else am I going to blame?" she was shouting by now. "Sure my life was messed up before you came along but at least I was in control of it. Now, ever since you decided to walk in and turn it upside down, I'm so out of control of it that it's ridiculous! It's like someone else is living my day-to-day life and I'm just a pa.s.senger waiting for it all to come crashing down. It's alright for you, you have nothing to lose. You can just go back to playing happy families with Olivia or whichever b.i.t.c.h you pick up with next. This is my life and thanks to you it is pretty royally f.u.c.ked up. I wish to h.e.l.l that I'd never met you, Vaughn Granger!"

"Elise that's enough." Cole said, "You're both upset and angry and saying things you don't mean. Let's just calm down and think about it or the s.h.i.t really will hit the fan when you go inside."

Vaughn hadn't moved, he was standing by the side of his car, bag in hand, staring at Elise. She looked up at him, aware that in the heat of the moment she had gone too far but she couldn't take the words back now. They were out there. His face was cold and his eyes expressionless as he continued to regard her. For a brief moment, the familiar fleeting look of pain crossed his face as their eyes locked but then he smoothed his features back into a carefully controlled mask.

"You really think you're the only one with something to lose?" he asked quietly, continuing to watch her for several long seconds.

She remained silent; she had no idea what to say. He shook his head helplessly and she saw the beginning of tears glistening in his eyes. He shrugged once and then he turned on his heel and walked silently out of the car park and into the office.

Elise watched as his broad back retreated and tortured herself by watching his hips sway, admiring his neat backside. She knew that she had blown it. In the s.p.a.ce of a few minutes, she had hurt the two men that she loved most in the world. As unbelievable as it sounded, she had fallen in love with Vaughn. It was instinctive, it was pure and it sure as h.e.l.l made no sense but there it was. Somehow, somewhere, this man had got inside of her head and she seriously doubted whether she would ever be able to convince him to leave.

Physically though, he had just left her - walked away. It was over. And as that realisation hit and reality sunk in she felt the world around her beginning to spin and sway, before the blessed relief of blackness claimed her.

Chapter Twenty-Seven.

Elise woke up in the first aid room at the office - the blinds were drawn and a warm flannel was being pressed to her head. The door was closed and the only light was from the corridor, which was being filtered through the gap underneath the door. She felt a hand stroke her cheek and turned to see Cole sitting next to her, watching over her with a worried expression on his face. As soon as he registered that she was awake, he relaxed and smiled, his chocolate brown eyes almost invisible in the dark.

"Hey, baby," he whispered, "How're you feeling?"

"I'm ok, I think. What happened?" she whispered back.

"You fainted in the car park right after Vaughn left. I carried you up here. The first aider wanted to sit with you but I insisted. I hope you don't mind?"

She reached out to clasp one of his hands. "Of course not. I'd much rather wake up to you than her any day." She laughed lightly and realised that her throat was really dry. "I could do with a drink though."

Cole reached behind him and pa.s.sed her a gla.s.s of water. At her look of surprise at his efficiency, he put his three fingers to his head in a mock salute. "I was a Boy Scout, you know always be prepared!"

She drank the water gratefully as a sudden vision of a younger, gangly Cole wearing shorts, a khaki shirt and a necktie sprung to mind and she found herself giggling again. "You? A Scout? Well that's one secret you sure managed to keep."

"Seems I'm not the only one keeping secrets." he said and then shook his head, "Sorry Elise, that was uncalled for. It just threw me for a loop, the whole nightclub thing. Why didn't you tell me?"

"I don't know Cole. We've just not seen that much of each other over the last few of days and it never really came up. You've had your own stuff to deal with and it really wasn't that big a thing. Vaughn and I just went back to his place and talked. It got late so I stayed the night and then he dropped me back at my car in the morning. That's all. I had no idea that Olivia had seen us until I saw Stephen at work and he told me. I knew she had a problem with me but I didn't realise that she would take it to these lengths. I guess she's raw at Vaughn no longer being interested in her."

Cole nodded, "Makes sense I guess but baby, you know that I am here for you regardless of what is going on in my life. If you needed to talk you could have just called me. Don't shut me out of your life, I couldn't stand it."

"Hey, Cole Andrews, there is no way in a million years that I am shutting you out. You don't get off that easily! This thing with Vaughn, it just happened. It wasn't planned. We b.u.mped into each other in the nightclub by pure accident and things just got a bit out of hand. He started asking about Dale, he picked up on the bruises the same as you and I just found myself telling him everything. He's a good guy, Cole; he wanted to help me."

She continued. "These last couple of days with him have been the best of my life. We've shared something a bond something beyond the physical and he has helped me to finally realise that my marriage is over. I am going to leave Dale, Cole, as soon as Christmas is over. I haven't told Vaughn that yet although I'm not sure that he would actually care anymore. I didn't tell him because I didn't want him to think I was leaving Dale for him. I'm not. I'm leaving Dale because it's the right thing to do and it's about time I started doing the right thing. I did hope that maybe Vaughn and I could have a future once all of the dust has settled but I might have just put paid to that with my performance in the car park." She shook her head, "How the h.e.l.l did my life just get even more complicated?"

Cole stood up and jumped up beside her to sit on the examination couch that she had been lying on. He dropped his left arm over her shoulder and pulled her to him.

"For what it's worth, I don't think you've lost him. He's mad at you, sure you said some pretty hurtful things to him down there but don't you remember what he said right before he left? He said that he had lost something in all of this too. Now I'm no expert but I'm pretty sure he was talking about you that he felt that he was losing you. He feels deeply for you Elise, you don't seem to realise. You make quite an impression."

He turned her face gently to his using his right hand under her chin and she could see his eyes more clearly now, hers having adjusted to the gloom.

"You don't realise how beautiful you are, babe." He said almost reverently and then he leaned forwards closing the distance between them and lightly laid his lips over hers.

Cole had kissed her before, many times in fact, but somehow this felt different. Initially Elise didn't respond - she was too shocked and numb with all that had gone on and it took her a moment to register what was happening. When she did she was surprised to realise that Cole was still kissing her rather than pulling away like he usually did and unbidden, she began to feel the first fluttering of desire.

Cole reached his hand behind her head, pulling her closer to deepen the kiss and ran his tongue experimentally across her lips. Elise complied to his unspoken demand, caught up in the moment, and shivered lightly as their tongues connected; the kiss lengthening, their tongues searching and questing.

She could hear Cole's breathing becoming quicker and more ragged and a tiny part of her brain began to register that this was wrong. Despite the attraction that had always burned between them, they were best friends. They worked as best friends. Cole was too important to her and was too much of her life to risk losing him like this. She depended on him, she idolised him and she loved him with all of her heart. This would only lead to heartache for both of them and she already had more than her fair share of that. This needed to stop now. They needed each other far more than they needed a quick physical release.

Gently she began to pull away from the kiss, pushing him gently on his shoulders at the same time, to create some distance between them. As they separated their eyes met and she saw desire lingering in his but she also saw regret and she knew that he felt the same. They both regretted that they couldn't be together like this when their attraction to each other was so strong but they also knew it had to be that way. Any relationship they had other than friendship would destroy them both and they loved each other far too much to let that happen.

Cole leaned forward and allowed his forehead to drop onto hers before taking a deep breath. "Sorry Elise, I don't know what came over me I'm just a bit messed up at the moment."

Elise gently kissed the tip of his nose. "I think we both got carried away. It's been an emotional few days for all of us."

He nodded, "Sure has babe."

Lightly she placed a final kiss on his lips. "I love you Cole Andrews, with all my heart."

"I love you too baby" he replied and they held each other tightly in the darkness of the room, holding on as if their lives depended on it - afraid to ever let go.

It was just past five o'clock when Elise and Cole returned to the main office. As it was Friday, most people had gone home and it was blissfully quiet for which Elise was thankful. Cole headed off in the direction of his office to finish up and Elise walked over to the other side of the office to her desk area. She was hoping that Stephen would still be there as she wanted to thank him for all that he had done, and also to check if he had spoken to Dale. She thought it unlikely that Dale would have called as he wasn't expecting her back until this evening but her husband was nothing if not unpredictable.

Most of the lights had been switched out but she was relieved to see that one still shone in her section and she hastened her steps to make sure that she caught Stephen before he left. Rounding the corner she almost stopped in her tracks as she realised that it wasn't Stephen still in their section but Olivia - probably the last person in the world she wanted to see right now.

She hesitated for a moment and then decided that she would just go to her desk, check that all was in order and then leave again. If Olivia chose to speak to her then so be it, but given the rumours that the girl had been spreading, Elise wasn't going to waste any breath on pleasantries with her. It didn't matter that the rumours were true, that was beside the point. Elise hated gossiping and in particular people that knew half a story and then made up the rest. She was of the opinion that people should live their own lives rather than everyone else's and unless you knew the full facts, you should not judge, preach, gloat or revel in other people's misfortunes.

As she approached her desk, Olivia turned and Elise drew in a sharp breath at the pure hatred that crossed the younger girl's face as she registered who it was.

Slowly Olivia stood from where she had been crouched at the filing cabinet. "YOU...." she said, pure venom dripping from the single word.

Elise opted to ignore her and went to her desk where she opened the drawer, collected a couple of personal items, and checked for any important messages that may have been left. She had no need to get into this - whatever this was - with Olivia, and anything else, was just none of the girl's business.

As if realising that she was being ignored, Olivia rounded the group of desks and started to walk up to Elise, clearly determined to have her say. Elise contemplated walking away; knowing that that would be the smart thing to do but she also knew that if Olivia didn't get this off her chest, the atmosphere would rumble on and on and that would not be good for anyone at work. Perhaps the girl would just say what she needed to and then they could part, agree to disagree and leave it at that.

By now Olivia had reached her and was standing directly in front of her, eye to eye, as the women were of a similar height. Up close, Elise registered again how pretty Olivia was but her face was contorted by pure loathing and for the first time Elise realised how much the girl really did hate her.

"You b.i.t.c.h..." she hissed between gritted teeth, her voice low and deadly, "You f.u.c.king b.i.t.c.h. You knew he was mine. How dare you think that you can have what is mine?"

Elise blinked, momentarily stunned and not immediately following Olivia's train of thought.

"Did you f.u.c.k him? I bet you did, you dirty b.i.t.c.h. Is it not enough to have one man waiting at home that you have to take someone else's as well?"

Vaughn. She was talking about Vaughn.

"Even if you did f.u.c.k him," she continued, "you know he'll be coming back to me. What we share is way beyond anything you can ever give him. Who knows what he saw in a dirty wh.o.r.e like you but I know he'll be back. I have everything that he needs and that night that we were together was the best night of his life. Why would he want someone that's old and tainted, when he can have me?"

Elise didn't reply, her brain was still trying to comprehend all that Olivia was saying. In those few sentences she had confirmed what Elise had always suspected, that Vaughn had slept with Olivia that night but she was also suggesting that there was more to it than that and that there was some kind of relationship going on.

She understood that the girl was angry and quite possibly a little deluded but she had no reason to disbelieve what she was saying. Surely you wouldn't get this worked up over a man if you didn't think there was something going on between you? What kind of promises had Vaughn made her? All the time that he had been with her had he been thinking about Olivia? She knew that he had never openly given the girl any encouragement at work but then that didn't mean anything. He could have just been trying to keep his relationship with her under wraps. Ultimately she knew so little about this man that she didn't know what his usual MO was. Did he have lots of girls at his beck and call, to choose as he wanted and dump when he was done? Maybe that was why he wasn't married; he preferred to keep his options open. He had the looks and the money so surely getting new girls on a regular basis was easy enough h.e.l.l, she had fallen for his charms with very little effort on his part.

But then part of her believed him believed in him and trusted him and the depth of feelings for her that he claimed to have. As far as she could tell he had no reason to lie either but it was obvious that one of them was and at this point in time she had absolutely no idea which one it was.

"Nothing to say, Miss Perfect Grayson? Oh sorry, I mean Mrs Breedon."

What the...? How the h.e.l.l did Olivia know her married name? She never used it ever. s.h.i.t. What the h.e.l.l was this girl's problem?

Recognising the need to reply at least on some level, Elise decided to go for an abridged version of the truth and hope that she could diffuse the situation. Olivia clearly had a problem and it needed to be sorted out in a mature and sensible way. She opted to leave the issue of her married name to one side for now.

"Olivia, I don't know what you think happened between Vaughn and me but I can a.s.sure you that you are wrong completely. We are co-workers, colleagues and yes; there was an incident today at the conference which Vaughn dealt - with. His actions were a little over the top but I know that he is a good man and he would have stepped into the breach for any of his employees, exactly the same."

That was all true, maybe except for the last part, but how did she know he wouldn't defend everyone like that? It may well be the way he worked.

"Jesus Elise, you must think I'm a complete idiot. I heard what happened at the hotel, I know that he beat that man to within an inch of his life. Do you seriously expect me to believe that he would react like that if he'd not spent the night before f.u.c.king you? I know you left Indigo together too I was getting some air and I saw you. Saw him running across the car park to you like some lovesick puppy. But that's ok I figure he likes the challenge of a married woman but now that's he's had you and realises that you're just a dirty, shrivelled up old hag, I know whose door he's going to be knocking on tonight. Why else do you think I'm still here? He asked me to wait for him seems he's done with you already."

Elise's mouth dropped open in surprise. Vaughn had spoken to Olivia? When? He had left the car park and headed straight upstairs as far as she was aware. She had pa.s.sed out immediately afterwards though and had not seen him since so she supposed it was entirely possible that he had stopped by Olivia's desk first.

Suddenly she felt an overwhelming urge to cry as sorrow unlike anything she had ever experienced before engulfed her. Maybe Olivia was telling the truth; it was certainly unusual for her to be here past five on a Friday, and Vaughn had left Elise in the car park. He had just walked away without a backward glance, not even trying to argue with her at all or salvage anything, and the worst part was that she had let him. Despite all the hurtful things she had thrown at him, part of her had hoped that he would still fight for her somehow but maybe he really had given up. Cole seemed to think that Vaughn had feelings for her but what did he know? He barely knew what his own feelings were these days, how could he possibly be the judge of anyone else's?