Try This One On For Size Part 6

aHi, baby!a Lepski bawled, rushing into the living room. aWhatas for dinner? Iam starving!a Carroll closed her eyes. Her dream evaporated. Back into the reality of life, she stood up.

aTom! Look at our luggage. Look! Thereas a suitcase with your initials. Isnat it marvellous?a Lepski gaped at the suitcases.

aFor me? What the h.e.l.l do I want with a new suitcase? Iave already got a suitcase!a aYour grandfather owned it,a Carroll said coldly.

aWhatas wrong with my grandfather?a Lepski demanded aggressively.

aThis is the suitcase you are going away with!a Carroll said slowly and firmly.

Lepski approached the suitcase and examined it. He sucked in his breath.

aJesus! This must have cost a bomb! Have you gone spending crazy, honey?a aLook at this!a Carroll pointed to the vanity box.

Lepski stared.

aYou bought this?a aMr. Maverick gave it to me.a Lepski peered at the contents of the box. He picked out a perfume spray and squirted his face.

Carroll s.n.a.t.c.hed the spray from him.

aHmmm . . . s.e.xy,a Lepski said. aYou mean he gave it to you.a aYes, and the two suitcases were only a hundred dollars.a aMan! You must have s.e.xed that f.a.g into a real man,a Lepski said and grinned. aTrust my baby. Whatas for dinner?a aLepski, canat you really think of anything else but food?a Carroll demanded as she made her way to the kitchen.

aWeave gone over all that before,a Lepski said, following her. aLetas eat.a As Carroll looked into the refrigerator and realized where those succulent chicken and ham sandwiches had come from, she released a wail of despair.

Lepski, recognizing the sound, released an expletive that made Carrollas ears burn.

The news of the audacious theft of the Catherine the Great icon hit the TV news screens at 18.00. The telecaster said that already the President of the United States had talked to the Premier of the Soviet Union. He had a.s.sured the Premier that the icon would be recovered. He was offering a $200,000 reward that would lead to its recovery. The Premier of the Soviet Union had ordered the exhibits at the Fine Arts Museum to be packed and returned to the Soviet Union immediately under close guard.

The President had told the Premier that all exits had been shut and there was no way the icon could be smuggled out of the country. It was now only a matter of time before the icon was found.

All security forces, the Army and the Navy had been called in for the hunt. The thieves would be found and punished.

It wasnat reported what the Premier had replied.

Kendrick, with Louis, listened to the broadcast and exchanged uneasy glances.

Ed Haddon listened in his suite at the Spanish Bay hotel and grinned.

Lu Bradey, in New York, also listened and also grinned.

Even if one of the Vietnamese was tempted by the reward, he had completely covered his tracks. Whatever the possible Vietnamese said, it would only confuse the issue.

Bradey nodded to himself. He felt confident that with the help of First Grade Detective Tom Lepski, the icon would arrive in Switzerland.

chapter five.

It was unfortunate that the Miami-Paris flight was scheduled to leave at 18.00. This meant that Lepski had all the morning and afternoon in which to fidget. Soon after 08.00, he began to prowl around the small bungalow while Carroll remained in bed, reading the morningas newspaper. Having made coffee, Lepski, finding it unrewarding to fidget on his own, entered the bedroom.

aHoney, have you the flight tickets?a Carroll sighed.

aI have everything. For heavenas sake, go for a walk! Iam taking a bath, then Iam going to the hairdressers. I wonat be back until three oaclock.a aWhatas for lunch?a Lepski asked anxiously.

aGo buy yourself a cheeseburger or something. The kitchenas closed for the vacation.a Lepski moaned softly, then asked, aHave you packed everything?a aLepski! Go away!a Then as Lepski moved reluctantly to the door, she asked, aHave you packed everything?a Lepski gaped at her.

aI thought you were doing the packing.a aIave done my packing. I am certainly not doing yours! Now, take the paper and leave me to dress. When I have gone, you can pack. Read about this icon thatas been stolen. Thereas a two hundred thousand dollars reward for its recovery.a aIcon? What the h.e.l.las an icon?a aGo away and read!a Muttering to himself, Lepski went into the living room, sat down and read the two-page spread about the theft of the icon. He was impressed. Every cop in the country was on the alert. The Army and the Navy had been called in. The President was livid with rage and heads were already beginning to roll. What impressed Lepski more than anything was the big reward offered to anyone giving information that would lead to the recovery of the icon.

Lepski became all cop. This art treasure couldnat come on the open market. It would be bought in secret by some kinky collector. His sharp mind immediately thought of Claude Kendrick. Lepski was sure, but had no proof, that Kendrick dealt in stolen art treasures. This icon was just up Kendrickas crooked alley.

Jumping to his feet, he s.n.a.t.c.hed up the telephone receiver and dialled police headquarters. He bawled to be put through to Beigler.

The cop, handling the switchboard, recognized Lepskias voice.

aJoeas busy.a he said. aWeare right up to our eyes in this c.r.a.p about the stolen icon. What do you want?a aIf you donat put me through to Joe right this second, Iall have your G.o.dd.a.m.n guts for garters!a Lepski snarled.

aOkay, okay.a There was a long pause, then Beigler came on the line.

aFor G.o.das sake, Tom, youare on vacation,a he said. aWhat is it?a aThis icon! Are the cops included in the reward?a aHow would I know? The big shot said anyone. Maybe cops arenat anyone. Whatas biting you?a aThat fat f.a.g Kendrick! If anyoneas got that icon, he has!a aYeah, yeah. Look, Tom, go enjoy your vacation. The Chief thought of Kendrick as soon as the news broke. We have three of our men, plus the FBI, plus the CIA, plus a search warrant going over Kendrickas gallery right now. Just relax and enjoy your vacation,a and Beigler hung up.

Lepski released a snort that would have brought a fighting bull to a standstill.

Carroll, dressed, swept in.

aWhat was that disgusting noise?a aNothing . . . nothing.a aNow go and pack. Iall see you around three. aBye for now,a and Carroll left.

Lepski spent a miserable morning, cramming his new clothes into his new suitcase, wandering around the bungalow, looking constantly at his watch, then driven by hunger, he drove down to a bar, popular with the cops, where he munched a hamburger and drank a beer.

As he was wondering if he should treat himself to another beer, Max Jacoby came in and climbed on a stool at his side. He ordered a cheeseburger.

aMan! This G.o.dd.a.m.n icon is as lethal as an atomic bomb!a Jacoby said. aThe whole coastline has been sealed off. The heat is really something. The Navy is patrolling. The Army wonat let any motor cruiser or yacht out. Owners are blocking our lines with complaints.a aHow about Kendrick?a aHeas clean. We really turned his gallery over.a Lepski shrugged.

aOkay. So it could be anywhere.a aYou can say that again, but with the President this mad, the heatas fierce.a Jacoby sighed. aMan! Are you lucky to be on vacation.a aThat reward? Suppose you found the icon, think you would collect?a Jacoby laughed.

aIam not going to find it, Tom, but even if I did, cops donat get rewards. You told me that once, didnat you?a aYeah, but still . . .a Jacoby finished his cheeseburger, patted Lepskias arm and slid off his stool.

aBack to the grindstone. Have a good vacation.a Lepski returned home. He kept thinking of the two hundred thousand dollar reward. Some creep would eventually squeal and the icon would be found and the creep would collect. He was piling up the ashtray with cigarette b.u.t.ts when Carroll arrived home. He scarcely recognized his wife: she looked so glamorous.

aPheeeew!a His whistle could be heard at the end of the street. aBaby! You look gorgeous!a And he started to his feet.

Seeing the look in his eyes, Carroll hurriedly backed away.

aDonat you dare come near me! Have you packed?a Lepski sighed.

aOh, sure.a aThen what are you doing wearing that ghastly working suit?a Carroll demanded. aYou are not travelling in that abortion, and what are you thinking of, wearing your hat indoors?a aLook, baby, Iave packed all the new, G.o.dd.a.m.n clothes.a aThen unpack them! You are travelling in the sportas jacket and the dark blue slacks. You are wearing the pale blue shirt and the wine-coloured tie!a By 17.00, Carroll was also getting fidgety. She kept looking at herself in the lobby mirror, looking at her watch while Lepski, now attired in his new finery, was walking around the living room, humming under his breath.

aTimeas getting on,a Carroll said. aI hope the taxi wonat be late.a aTaxis are never late.a Then Lepski gave her a double take. aTaxi?a aAre you telling me you havenat ordered a taxi?a Carroll screamed.

Lepski rushed to the telephone. Joe Dukas, who ran the local taxi service and was a good friend of Lepski, told him there was no problem. A taxi would arrive in good time to get them to the airport at 18.00. Smiling smugly, Lepski hung up.

aYou know, baby, there are times when you get nervous,a he said. aThe cabas on its way.a aI canat understand why you are such a good cop,a Carroll sighed. aYou seem to be a perfect idiot in the smaller things of life.a Then she smiled at him. aBut I love you, Tom.a Lepski pointed like a gun dog.

aThe taxi will take half an hour, so suppose . . .a aLepski! You should be ashamed of yourself!a At 17.15, the taxi arrived and a big, smiling black man came up the path.

aHere we go!a Carroll cried excitedly. aGive him the luggage, Tom.a Lepski handed over the two blue suitcases which the black carried down the path. Lepski was aware that all their neighbours had come out into their gardens. A little boy had a j.a.panese flag which he was waving. Lepski always referred to him as Denis the Menace, but right now the kid seemed full of goodwill and cheer.

Carrying the vanity box, Carroll moved on to the path, feeling like a movie star in her glamorous outfit. Then she paused.

aTom! Did you turn off the electricity and the water?a Lepski closed his eyes and released a soft moan.

aJust going to do it!a He rushed back into the bungalow, watched by the neighbours.

Carroll waited, her smile fixed, her foot tapping, aware of the hum of voices as the news was pa.s.sed on, over the garden fences, that Lepski had forgotten to turn off the electricity and the water. The knowa"it-alls wagged their heads with disapproval.

Sudden violent expletives came from the bungalow. Carroll, horrified by the language, ran into the bungalow to find Lepski nursing a bleeding hand.

aThe G.o.dd.a.m.n, sonofab.i.t.c.h tap wonat turn!a he bawled. aIam wounded!a aThe tap is already turned off!a Carroll screamed.

aOkay, so the b.a.s.t.a.r.d is off, but Iam bleeding!a Carroll rushed into the bathroom, found a Band-Aid and slapped it on Lepskias scratch.

aWeare going to miss the plane!a Slamming and locking the front door, they bolted down the path and piled into the taxi.

The neighbours clapped and cheered.

aGet moving!a Lepski bawled. aWeall miss our flight!a The black cabby turned in his seat and gave a big friendly smile.

aTake it easy, boss. Thereas a three-hour holdup at the airport. You sure have plenty of time.a The little boy with the j.a.panese flag came running up and pursing his lips, blew them the loudest raspberry Lepski had ever heard.

Ed Haddon sat in one of the air traffic controlleras gla.s.s cubicles and looked down at the departure lounge that was crammed with irate pa.s.sengers.

The air traffic controller knew Haddon was a close friend of his father who was serving a five-year stretch for robbery. He also knew that Haddon was pulling strings to get his father paroled. So when Haddon told him he wanted to see one of his friends get off to Paris without having to mix with the mob, he was happy to lend him his office. He was too busy in the control tower to wonder who Haddonas friend might be.

Haddon smoked a cigar and watched the long line of pa.s.sengers slowly pa.s.sing through the customsa barrier. He noted there were two FBI agents and two plainclothes detectives with the customs men.

Every piece of luggage was opened and searched. The delay was endless. These pa.s.sengers were on the New York flight. The Miami-Paris pa.s.sengers were waiting outside the departure lounge.

Lepskias taxi pulled up, and Lepski and Carroll alighted. As Lepski paid off the taxi, he heard a friendly voice saying, aHi, Tom.a Turning. he found Harry Jackson, a uniformed cop, grinning at him. aHeard you were off to Europe,a he said. aBig deal! Afraid thereas one h.e.l.l of a delay. Itas this icon c.r.a.p.a Lepski glared at the long queue waiting to enter the departure lounge.

aYouad better get in line, Tom,a Jackson went on. aI reckon thereas a good three-hour wait.a aNot for me!a Lepski said firmly. aThis is my G.o.dd.a.m.n vacation! Iam not standing in any G.o.dd.a.m.n line. Get me through to the checkin desks, Harry. Come on! Letas go!a Carroll said, aLepski! You canat do such a thing! These poor people might have been waiting hours.a aScrew them!a Lepski said, and s.n.a.t.c.hing up the two suitcases, he followed Jackson through a side door to the checkin lobby. Her face red when she saw how the waiting pa.s.sengers were glaring, Carroll followed.

The girl at one of the checkin desks gave Lepski a s.e.xy smile.

aHi, Tom! I have your seats reserved, but thereas a delay. Go into the VIP lounge. Iall tell Nancy to organize drinks. What do you fancy?a Lepski, who was a well known character and popular at the airport, gave her his big smile.

aHalf a pint of Cutty Sark and half a bottle of champagne, sweetheart,a he said. He handed over the two suitcases. aIall bring you back some perfume from Paris.a The girl giggled, then seeing Carroll glaring at her, lost her smile.

aHave a lovely vacation,a she said.

As Lepski steered Carroll to the departure lounge, she demanded, aWho was that?a aI have my friends,a Lepski said with a smug smile. aGood cops always have friends.a The Miami FBI agent came over.

aHi, Tom! You going on this flight?a The two men shook hands.

aNext flight: Paris,a Lepski said.

aThereas a delay, but you may as well go through the customs now. This flight has gone through.a Lepski recognized Hermey Jacobs at the customs counter. He and Hermey shot regularly once a week at the Sharpshooteras Club.

aHi, Hermey!a he bawled. aIam off to gay Paree!a Jacobsa face lit up. It was good to see a friend after handling all the rich creeps who kept moaning about opening their baggage.

Suddenly proud of her husband, Carroll followed Lepski up to the counter. She placed her vanity box on the counter and gave Jacobs a big smile.

aHi, Hermey! Howas Mabs?a Often Carroll and Mabs Jacobs played tennis together.

aBeautiful!a Jacobs said. aYou look good enough to eat, Carroll.a He looked at the vanity box. aMy! My! Big deal huh?a Although Haddon had nerves of steel, he was now sitting forward, staring down at this scene, and his cigar had gone out.

aHey!a Lepski plucked at Jacobsa arm, pulling him close. He whispered, aSheas got ten ounces of heroin in her panties. Want to take a look?a Jacobs gave a bellow of laughter, punched Lepski lightly on his chest, then waved them through.

aWatch him, Carroll,a he said. aThe French girls could fall for him in that suit.a As they crossed to the VIP lounge, Carroll said, aLetas get this straight, Lepski. No French girls . . . right?a As Lepski was thinking up a reply, Ned Jason, Head of the Customs office, spotted them.

aWhy, Tom! Havenat seen you in weeks.a He shook hands, then turning to Carroll. aHoney, you look marvellous. You two off to Paris?a aYep. The first vacation weave had abroad. This is a h.e.l.l of a mess, Ned. All this G.o.dd.a.m.n delay.a aItas this icon thing. The delay is all along the line. Interpol has moved in. Youall have another long delay at Paris.a Jason owed Lepski a favour. A year ago, Jasonas son got involved with a wh.o.r.e who tried blackmail. Lepski had fixed her.

aCan you fix something for us, Ned?a Lepski asked. aYou draw a lot of water.a The two men looked at each other, then Jason nodded.

aSure, leave it to me. Iall telex Charles de Gaulle to give you the VIP treatment. Youall be at the head of the queue, and if you show your shield, theyall pa.s.s you through p.r.o.nto. Howas that?a aFine, and thanks.a They shook hands and Jason hurried away.

aSee?a Lepski crowed. aI may be an idiot in little things, but Iam a big deal in my job.a Impressed, Carroll said, aYouare marvellous, Tom! I wonat ever let anyone say you are an idiot in little things ever again.a aAnd donat you say it either.a Lepski grinned. aCome on, letas get drunk.a He grabbed hold of the vanity box, paused and gaped at her. aFor G.o.das sake! What have you in this box . . . lead?a aIf you are too weak to carry it, give it to me!a Carroll adored the vanity box, but had admitted to herself that it did seem unreasonably heavy.

Watching from the gallery, Haddon slowly relaxed. The vanity box, worth six million dollars, had gone over the first hurdle. Lepskias plane wouldnat arrive now in Paris until 11.00 the following morning. He picked up the telephone receiver and called Lu Bradey at the Sherman hotel, New York.

His talk was brief.

aTheyall arrive in Paris at eleven tomorrow morning,a he said. aSo far, no problems,a and he hung up.

In his turn, Bradey put through a call to Duvineas Paris apartment.

His call was as brief.

aEleven morning, tomorrow, Charles de Gaulle. No problems,a and he hung up.

By the time Carroll and Lepski boarded the Jumbo jet, both of them were in a mellow mood. They had been cosseted by a bright-eyed, pretty hostess who was all over Lepski, and after finishing a second bottle of champagne, Carroll began to like her.

Settled in their seats, with half a bottle of Cutty Sark under his belt, Lepski was inclined to relax and sleep, but his peace was disturbed when, through the window, he saw a small coach arrive and from it spilled some thirty young people. The men and the girls were wearing the modern uniform of Levis and sweatshirts. They came storming into the first cla.s.s section, shouting to each other in a language Lepski couldnat identify.