Try This One On For Size Part 2

Louis de Marney was completing a nice sale of a pair of George IV candlesticks when Kendrick entered the gallery. One look at Kendrickas crooked wig alerted Louis that something was wrong. Kendrick didnat even pause to gush over the elderly client who was writing a cheque. He went straight to his office, closed the door, then went to the small refrigerator, cunningly disguised as an antique commode. When under stress, Kendrick had need of food. He selected a wing of chicken, wrapped it in a crisp lettuce leaf then sat down at his desk. He was just finishing the little snack when Louis bounced in.

aWhatas wrong?a he demanded, coming to the desk. aYou are eating again!a aDonat bully me, cheri,a Kendrick said. aI have a job for you.a Louis eyed him suspiciously as Kendrick took the Hermitage catalogue from his brief case and turned to page fifty-four.

aI need a replica of this, dear boy. Nothing special. Iam sure your talent will run something up looking like this.a Louis stared at the icon, then took a quick step back.

aDonat tell me that dreadful Haddon is planning to steal this?a he demanded, his voice shrill.

aI have a buyer for it,a Kendrick said softly. aNow, donat get alarmed, cheri. Just make a replica.a aHave you gone out of your mind?a Louis shrilled. aDonat you realize all these things belong to the Soviet Union? Haddon must have gone mad! No, I want nothing to do with it! You mustnat have anything to do with it! Baby, think! Our lives could be utterly ruined!a Kendrick sighed.

aPerhaps I was a little hasty, but Ed is absolutely certain he can get it. Ed has never let us down, has he?a aI donat care! This is something we donat touch!a Louis said, glaring at Kendrick. aI will not have anything to do with it! Suppose this dreadful Haddon does get the icon? What are you going to do with it? You must know that it is quite, quite unsellable! Every beastly cop in the world will be watching for it. The Government will flip their horrid lids! The Russians will be utterly vicious.a aRadnitz wants it,a Kendrick said.

Louis reared back.

aThat ghastly creature! Have you been mad enough to talk to him?a aI am committed, cheri.a aThen itas your funeral! I repeat I will have absolutely nothing to do with it!a Kendrick forced an oily smile.

aYour share of the take, cheri, will be four hundred and fifty thousand dollars.a aI will have nothing to do . . .a Louis paused, his little eyes suddenly calculating. aHow much did you say?a aYes, dear boy. This is a very big deal. Your share will be four hundred and fifty thousand dollars.a aAll I will have to do is to make a replica?a aNo, dear boy, a little more than that,a Kendrick said. aThat is a lot of money. You must expect to do more than make a replica.a aWhat else?a aThere is a problem to solve. Ed will deliver the icon to me on Tuesday. Radnitz insists the icon be delivered to him in Zurich.a Louis reacted as if he had been stung by a hornet.

aWhere?a he screamed.

aZurich, Switzerland,a Kendrick said, aand for heavenas sake, cheri, donat make so much noise.a aSwitzerland?a Louis repeated, the dream of owning nearly half a million dollars suddenly fading. aAre you out of your mind? Every exit will be watched! Interpol will be alerted! The heat will be unbearable! Every suspect art dealer will be plagued! Zurich? Impossible! Claude, you have been utterly irresponsible to have dealt with that dreadful creature!a aNothing is impossible,a Kendrick said quietly. aWe have until Tuesday. Between then and now, we must think.a Louis looked at him suspiciously.

aYou: are not expecting me to try to smuggle this thing out, are you?a Kendrick had considered this might be a possibility, but decided Louis hadnat the nerve.

aNo, cheri, but there must be a safe way.a Kendrick pushed the catalogue towards Louis. aFirst things first. Make the replica, and think.a Louis hesitated, then thought of the money he had been promised.

aAt least, I will do that,a he said, abut Iam warning you that this is a mad and dangerous operation.a aLet us both think. It is possible Ed will fail, but we must be ready. It is surprising what ingenuity and thought will produce.a aTell that to the deaf, dumb and blind,a Louis said. He s.n.a.t.c.hed up the catalogue and flounced out.

Feeling in need of another snack, Kendrick plodded to the refrigerator and regarded the various dishes set out in readiness, then selecting a lobster tail, he returned to his desk and sat down to think.

In his usual showoff manner, Lepski arrived home, pounded up the path, threw open the front door and charged into the living room.

He had had a splendid day telling Beigler and Max Jacoby how Carroll had inherited money, how he had insisted they should spend it on a trip to Europe. He bored the two men to distraction, but this was his big moment, and neither of them could stop him. Finally, Beigler suggested he should go home and leave them to cope with whatever crime happened, and if there was anything important, he would be called.

aHi, baby!a Lepski bawled. aIam back! Whatas for dinner?a Carroll was lying on the settee, her shoes off, her eyes closed.

aMust you shout?a she complained. aIam exhausted.a Lepski gaped at her.

aHave you been jogging or something?a At this hour, Carroll was usually coping in the kitchen, preparing dinner. To see her lying on the settee, inactive, was a shock to Lepski.

aThere are times, Lepski, when I think you are stupid,a Carroll said tartly. aI have been arranging our vacation, and let me tell you, I have been at it all day.a aYeah: tough. Whatas for dinner?a Carroll glared.

aCanat you think of anything else except food?a Lepski leered at her.

aWell, there is another thing, baby, but Iad get the old routine: not now, later. Whatas for dinner?a aI donat know. Iave been at the American Express all day and I am tired.a Lepski regarded his wife, then recognizing the signs he decided the situation had to be handled with tact and soft soap.

aPoor baby. All day, huh? Howas it going? What have you fixed?a aMiranda has her ideas and I have mine!a Carroll exclaimed. aShe couldnat get into her silly head that we want to travel first cla.s.s. She kept on and on about charter flights.a aWhatas wrong with charter flights, for G.o.das sake?a aLepski! This is a vacation to end all vacations! We are travelling first cla.s.s!a aFine . . . fine. Yeah, youare right, baby.a Lepski shifted from one foot to the other. aWhatas for dinner?a Carroll sat up, her eyes stormy.

aI donat know! I donat care! If you say that again I will divorce you!a aDonat know, huh? Okay, letas have a drink.a Lepski went to the liquor cabinet. He opened the doors, then started back. aWhereas my Cutty Sark?a aWill you please sit down and listen to what I have arranged?a Carroll said, her voice suddenly on the defensive.

aWhereas my Cutty Sark?a Lepski bawled.

aCanat you think of anything but food and drink? For goodness sake, sit down and let me tell you what I have arranged.a Lepski stared at her accusingly.

aYou have been around to that drunken old sot, Mehitabel Bessinger, and youave given that old fake my Cutty Sark.a To his surprise, Carroll looked sheepish.

aNow, Tom. Iam sorry about your Scotch. I shouldnat have gone to see her. I have come to the conclusion you are right. She does drink too much.a Lepski gaped at her.

For years now. Carroll had put her faith in this old clairvoyant: a large black woman who foretold the future. Twice she had given Lepski, through Carroll, clues to killers which he had ignored only to find, later, she had been right. Up to now, Carroll had sworn by her. This sudden change startled Lepski.

aWhat are you saying?a he demanded, sitting down.

aWell, Tom, I thought it might be a good idea to consult her about our trip,a Carroll said, looking anywhere but at him.

Lepski made a noise like a fall of gravel.

aSo to oil her works, you took my bottle of Cutty Sark?a aYes, Tom, and I am sorry. I will buy you another bottle. I promise.a This was so unexpected, Lepski dragged his tie down and released the collar b.u.t.ton on his shirt.

aOkay. So what happened?a aShe got out her crystal ball and she seemed to go into a trance.a Carroll put her hands to her eyes and released a long, exhausted sigh. Lepski wasnat the only one who could be a showoff. aI really think the poor old dear was a bit tiddly.a aHold it. Did she get out her G.o.dd.a.m.n crystal ball before or after she got at my Cutty Sark?a aWell, she does need a little stimulant before she can read the future.a aSo she banged back half the bottle, huh?a aA little more than half. Anyway, she talked a lot of rubbish. She said on no account were we to go on this trip. She said I must cancel all my arrangements and stay home. She said we would meet dangerous people and there was a woman named Catherine who would cause us a lot of trouble. She wasnat sure about the name. She said she couldnat see clearly. The crystal ball was misty.a Lepski released a snort that would have startled a bison.

aI bet it was. I would be misty too if I had knocked back more than half of a bottle of Scotch.a aI am a little worried, Tom. Mehitabel has always been right in the past. Do you think we should go? Should we cancel the trip?a Lepski recalled his bragging, bending Beigleras and Jacobyas ears back. They would laugh themselves silly if he backed out of a de luxe European trip. What excuse could he make? He got up and went over to Carroll and patted her gently.

aForget it, baby. The old sot was drunk. She was trying to keep you here. Who else gives her a bottle of Cutty Sark?a aBut it does worry me, Tom. What does she mean about a woman named Catherine? That we would meet dangerous people? I asked her and asked her, but she just sat there, moaning and shaking her head.a Lepski patted her again.

aForget it! Weare going to have the greatest vacation of our lives! Now, come on, baby, forget that old rum-dum. Weare going to have a ball!a Seeing Carroll relaxing, he smiled hopefully, then asked, aWhatas for dinner?a * * *

Ed Haddon paid off a taxi outside a modest motor hotel on the highway leading to Washingtonas downtown area. He was dressed conservatively in a dark business suit and he carried a briefcase. He paused to look at the balcony leading to the entrance to the hotel, but not seeing the man he had come to meet, he walked up the path, heading for the hotelas lobby.

aEd!a A soft voice made him pause and look sharply at an elderly clergyman who was sitting on the balcony and smiling at him. This clergyman appeared to be in his late sixties with a round, pink and white face, wispy white hair and a benign smile that would attract children and elderly ladies. He was heavily built: the body of a man who liked his food and of medium height. He wore half-moon gla.s.ses. Kindness and Christianity oozed from him with the gentleness of a saint.

Haddon stared suspiciously, then he said in a hard, cold voice, aWere you speaking to me?a The clergyman laughed: a nice, mellow sound that would cheer the faithful.

aIs it as good as that, Ed?a he asked.

aJesus!a Haddon moved forward and stared. aThat you, Lu?a aWho else? Not bad, huh?a Haddon stared again, then moved on to the balcony.

aItas really you?a The clergyman nodded and patted a chair by his side.

aGood G.o.d!a Haddon said. aItas marvellous! What an artist!a aWell, yes, you can say that. Itas my best so far. I got your message. So, the dealas on?a Haddon sat down, still staring at the clergyman. He had worked with Lu Bradey for the past ten profitable years. Bradey was the best art thief in the business, and, what was more important, he had never been caught, and had no police record.

Apart from his expertise with any lock, he was a master of disguise. To look at him now: fat, benign, elderly, no one would imagine he was only thirty-five years of age, and as thin as a stick of asparagus. His facial skin was like rubber: a few pads inside his mouth and his lean face turned to fat. By wearing a padded waistcoat, he appeared solid. A wig^ made by himself, gave him baldness and wispy white hair. Haddon had seen him in various disguises, but none of them as successful as this: an elderly, fat, kindly man of the church.

aLu, you are a marvel,a Haddon said. aI mean it!a aSure. I know I am. We go ahead?a aYes. Kendrick has found a buyer.a Bradey grimaced.

aThat fat f.a.g? Why not Abe? I like working with Abe.a aAbeas run out of money. Thereas a problem with Kendrick, but weall get to that.a aI have problems too,a Bradey said. aI spent yesterday morning at the museum. The security there is tighter than a mouseas a.s.shole.a Haddon eyed him.

aWorry you?a aLook, Ed, this is easily the toughest operation we have pulled. Iam relying on you. The museum is swarming with cops, guards, and worse, five b.a.s.t.a.r.ds from the KGB. I went there in another disguise. I had to go through a scanner. The scanner picked up my car keys: itas that sensitive. There was a G.o.dd.a.m.n queue of people who had to leave everything they were carrying in the lobby: bags, umbrellas, canes, briefcases and so on. It took time. All this high security doesnat stop them from going: it adds to the excitement. Now, this icon you want. Itas in a gla.s.s case and electrically wired. Touch the d.a.m.n case and an alarm goes off. There is a heavy cord around it, keeping the gawkers back two feet. Touch the cord and a guard moves in. Pretending I wanted a closer look, I pressed against the cord and two tough guards snarled at me. Believe me, this is a tough one.a aSuppose there was no alarm and no guards, Lu, could you open the gla.s.s case?a Lu chuckled.

aThe lock is for the birds. Of course I could.a aSo, we cut off the alarm. Iave got that fixed. We do the job on Tuesday. Fifteen minutes before you arrive, two City electricians will be on the job. I have them lined up. The electrical feed-in wires are in the grounds of the museum. All these two have to do is to lift a trap and cut a cable. With the crowd going into the museum, whoas going to bother with a couple of electricians in uniform? Okay, suppose one of the guards gets nosey? My two men can handle him. They are smooth operators and will have a forged permit. So, the alarm is out of action. Okay, so far?a aIf you say so, Ed, it is so.a aRight. These Vietnamese? Have you got them lined up?a aYes: thirty-five refugees are arriving by coach to see the wonders of the Hermitage exhibition,a Bradey said with a sly smile. aMe, as the Reverend Samuel Hardcastle, bought the tickets, alerted the museum creeps and hired a coach . . . no problem there.a Haddon took from his briefcase a flat object.

aIave spent money getting this made, Lu. Itas a smoke bomb, made of plastic. Itall go through the scanner without trouble. Thereas a switch. All you have to do is push the switch and youall get a h.e.l.l of a lot of smoke: enough smoke to blot out the first floor of the gallery. Now, imagine: the gallery gets filled with smoke. There will be a panic. Guards rushing here and there, people screaming and rushing for the exits. While this is going on, you get the gla.s.s case open and grab the icon. Iam getting you a replica. You replace the icon with the replica, relock the case, and youare home.a Bradey leaned back in his chair while he thought.

Finally, he said, aNo. Sorry, Ed, this wonat do. First, the bomb. These security creeps are right on the ball. This bomb is bulky. I canat put it in my pocket. It would be spotted at once. Then the replica: someone earning it would also be spotted. Someone carrying out the original would again be spotted even if there was a panic on. No, I donat like it.a Haddon smiled.

aOf course, but you havenat thought of a factor I have thought of. Smart as you are, I am smarter. Now, tell me what is the most sacred thing men, including security guards, respect?a Bradey shrugged.

aIad say a bottle of Scotch.a aYou are wrong. The answer is a pregnant woman: a lovely looking woman about to give birth to a lovely, bouncing baby.a Bradey stiffened.

aHave you gone out of your mind, Ed?a aYou remember Joey Luck?a aSure. He was the best dip in the business. I hear heas retired.a aRight. Iam borrowing a trick of his. His daughter used to strap an egg shaped wicker basket on her tummy and put on a maternity gown. Joe and she then went to some self-service store and filched. She filled the basket with food. It was a beautiful idea and it never failed. So, in your party, you will want two nice-looking girls who appear to be pregnant: one of them will carry the smoke bomb, the other the replica, in baskets strapped to their turns. The original icon will go out the same way . . . like it?a Bradey closed his eyes and thought. Haddon watched him, smiling. Then Bradey opened his eyes and grinned.

aEd!a he said, keeping his voice low. aG.o.dd.a.m.n it! Youare a genius! I love it!a aOkay. How about the girls? Theyall have to be in on this. Any ideas?a aNo problem. Among the party are two Viet wh.o.r.es who would slit their mothersa throats if the money was big enough.a Bradey regarded Haddon. aThis is going to cost. Ed. Iall have to bribe them with five grand apiece.a aSo, okay. Iam not quibbling about costs. This is the big deal. Now, letas look at Kendrickas problem. He has to deliver the icon in Zurich, Switzerland.a Bradey flinched.

aThatas his problem . . . and what a G.o.dd.a.m.n problem! Once the icon goes missing . . .a aI know all that, and so does he. To get the icon into Switzerland is a big, big problem. No icon in Zurich, no money for him, nor you, nor me. Thatas it, Lu, so weall have to help him. Heas smart and heas working on it. If he doesnat come up with a safe idea, the operation is off.a Bradey shook his head.

aHe canat do it, Ed. We might as well call it off now. Mind you if we can sit on the icon for six months until the heat cools off . . .a aIt has to be delivered ten days after the steal.a Bradey shrugged.

aThatas not possible. The security . . .a aI know, but Kendrick may come up with an idea. Heas a smart cookie. Let us a.s.sume he does. I want you to be in Zurich to take delivery of the money. Two million for me: one for you. Okay?a aMan! Heall have to come up with a very smart idea, but, if he does, the deal is fine with me.a aRight. Now let us a.s.sume we can get the icon to Zurich, so weall now go into details.a Haddon dipped into his briefcase and produced a plan of the first floor of the Fine Arts museum where the Hermitage exhibition was on display.

The two men moved closer as they began to study the plan.

For the past years, Carroll Lepski often paused outside Maverick, the best and most fashionable couturier in the city. She would spend some time looking enviously at the display of elegant dresses and furs in the windows, then like Lepski staring at the display of choice cuts at Eddies, she would sigh and pa.s.s on.

But this morning, Carroll had money to spend, and she walked into the shop, her heart racing with excitement. She found herself in a large room, furnished with antiques, with tapestry-covered chairs and several modern paintings of considerable value on the walls. At a large antique desk sat a middle-aged woman so elegantly dressed that Carroll paused.

The woman rose to her feet. Her dark eyes ran over Carroll, observing her linen dress, her elderly shoes and her plastic handbag.

The shop was owned by Roger Maverick who was Claude Kendrickas cousin. The antiques and paintings were loaned to him by Kendrick who changed them every six months.

Maverick had instilled into his staff the following axiom: Never judge a sausage by its overcoat.

Lucille had for years worked with Dior in Paris. Now forty-eight years of age, she had settled in Paradise City, respecting Maverickas genius for clothes and the enormous market opportunities among the rich women who swarmed into the city during the season.

Bearing in mind Maverickas axiom, she gave Carroll a gracious smile, wondering if this good-looking woman, rather shabbily dressed was just another time-waster.

aMadam?a Carroll was never intimidated. She had decided what approach she should use, knowing her appearance in this lush-plush shop would be against her. She came to the point with a directness that startled Lucille.

aI am Mrs. Tom Lepski,a Carroll announced. aMy husband is a first grade detective attached to the cityas force. I have inherited money. We are going to Europe. I need a wardrobe. I donat intend to spend more than seven thousand dollars. What about it?a This was still the dead season. Seven thousand dollars was not to be sniffed at, Lucille thought, and she widened her smile.

aOf course, Mrs. Lepski. I am sure we can find you something suitable for your trip. Do please sit down. Mr. Maverick will be delighted to discuss your needs with you, and make suggestions. Excuse me.a As Carroll sat down, Lucille took the plush elevator to the first floor where she found Maverick draping a bored-looking girl with a dress length.

Roger Maverick was tall, lean and extremely handsome. Around fifty-five years of age, he was not only a dress designer of considerable talent, a h.o.m.os.e.xual, but also a secret dealer in stolen furs, a very profitable sideline.

Lucille told him that the wife of Detective Lepski was below, seeking a wardrobe.

Maverick knew of every detective on the cityas force, and he knew Lepski was the most dangerous. His lean, handsome face lit up.

aShe appears to have inherited money and will spend seven thousand dollars,a Lucille continued.

aSplendid! Now listen, my dear, she is to have the VIP treatment. Take her to the Washington room. Make her comfortable. Champagne . . . you know the thing, I will come along in ten minutes. In the meantime, find out her colours, and what she has in mind.a aSeven thousand dollars,a Lucille said scornfully.

aYes, yes; just do what I say, my dear.a With a slight shrug, Lucille took the elevator to the ground floor.

aMr. Maverick will be with you in a few minutes, Mrs. Lepski. Please come with me.a Carroll followed her into the elevator and to the first floor.

She followed her down a long corridor carpeted in red to a door.

Opening the door, Lucille stood aside and motioned Carroll in.

The room was elegantly furnished with some more of Kendrickas antiques.

aDo sit down, Mrs. Lepski. Perhaps a gla.s.s of champagne while we discuss what you require?a A neatly dressed maid appeared with a silver tray on which stood an ice bucket containing a bottle of champagne and two gla.s.ses.

aYou understand that I am not spending more than seven thousand dollars,a Carroll said firmly. This VIP treatment made her uneasy.

aOf course, Mrs. Lepski.a Lucille poured the wine, handed Carroll a gla.s.s and sat down. aNow tell me please what you have in mind.a Three hours later, Carroll left the shop, walking on air.

She thought Roger Maverick the nicest, the most understanding, brilliant man she had ever met. She was now satisfied that she was equipped for the exciting trip to Europe. She had quickly realized that Maverick knew exactly what would suit her, and after a hesitant beginning, she relaxed and let him choose for her.

When the choice had been settled, she had begun to worry.

Everything was so elegant that she couldnat imagine what it would cost.

aNot more than seven thousand,a she said firmly when Maverick, beaming at her, asked if she was contented.

aMrs. Lepski, this is our dead season. Frankly, what you have chosen, in the season, would cost something around twenty thousand dollars. Frankly again, I have had these lovely clothes for some little time. Unhappily, I do not always have the opportunity of dressing a lady with a figure like yours. Usually, my clients are inclined to be stout. These are model dresses. I am only too happy to let you have them below half price. In fact, I will offer them to you for five thousand dollars which will allow you to have shoes and handbags to go with them.a aWhy, thatas marvellous!a Carroll had exclaimed.

aSo happy you are happy. May I ask you to come here the day after tomorrow so my fitter can make a few minor alterations? I will have a selection of handbags and shoes for you to choose from.a * * *

As Maverick was a late riser, he took a late lunch, and invariably lunched at the Arts Club. There he found Claude Kendrick eating a breast of chicken in a heavy cream and mushroom sauce. Maverick sat at the same table and the two men exchanged smiles of greeting.

aHowas business?a Kendrick asked, spearing a potato.

aSlow, but the season hasnat as yet begun.a Maverick ordered twelve bluepoint oysters. aYou are getting too fat, dear Claude. You should never eat potatoes.a Kendrick sighed and speared another potato.

aLouis is always nagging me, but I have to keep up my strength.a aI had an unexpected client this morning,a Maverick said. aMrs. Tom Lepski, the copas wife.a Kendrickas face darkened. He had had several unpleasant interviews with Lepski whom he considered an uncouth bully.

aWhat on earth did she want?a aApparently she has come into money, and they are going to Europe for a vacation. Iave kitted her out. She has a nice figure. I got rid of some of my model stuff that has been hanging fire. She spent some five thousand dollars.a Kendrick looked longingly at another potato, then decided he mustnat waste this delicious sauce. He began to mash the potato.

aVery nice. Europe?a aThe usual tourist circuit: Paris, Monte Carlo, Montreux.a Kendrickas fork, loaded with chicken, potato and sauce, hovered before his open mouth. His little eyes turned cloudy.

He lowered the fork.

aThey are going to Switzerland?a aShe says so. She wants to see the mountains. I told her she should also go to Gstaad.a aAnd Lepski goes with her?a aOf course.a Maverick regarded his fat cousin. aWhatas on your mind?a The oysters arrived.

aI donat know yet.a Kendrick gobbled the food on his fork, then pushed back his chair. aIall leave you to enjoy those delicious looking oysters. Meet me in the lounge for coffee.a aBut you havenat finished your lunch.a aIt is time I began to think of my weight,a and Kendrick plodded out of the restaurant and into the big, half-empty lounge.