Torn: Crushed Part 7

"Time heals all wounds. It may take a very long time to get there, but you will get there eventually," I meekly stated, hoping my words would enlighten him.

"You're certainly very optimistic," he said with a sneer.

"In a way, I am. I guess the vacation in Greece showed me there's more to life than sulking." And being in love with someone who couldn't care less what I was feeling, I silently added.

It wounded me to think that, but it was the truth. Though I felt bad for the both of us, I didn't want to ruin the rest of my life by sulking about the fact that there were just some things in life we would never get to have. It was how the world worked. Sometimes, it was best to learn to accept it, even if it was a hard pill to swallow.

"Two weeks, huh?" he muttered, scratching the side of his chin as he gave me a serious look. "So, when did you and Carter start hooking up?" Instead of giving me a chance to explain, he kept going with his rant and combative words. "He's probably too f.u.c.ked up about seeing Emma so happy and s.h.i.t. That's why he had to f.u.c.k you-to forget her."

What. The. f.u.c.k! Did that really just come out of his mouth?

"Wow. You're on a roll this morning, and it's not even past ten o'clock."

"I'm just saying, in case you're thinking he might dig your crazy and that you guys might have a chance longevity wise."

Pressing my lips together, I tried to compose myself. "Thanks for the great advice, Brody." He was serving his dish cold and heartless. Okay, I got him loud and clear. "You're such a great friend."

"Right."

For a moment, I had some hesitation. Should I remain after he just stabbed me in the front and back, or should I simply leave? After all, being around his s.h.i.tty mood wasn't going to do anything but f.u.c.k my day up. He was a big a.s.shole, no doubt about that. So, why the f.u.c.k should I be around him when he wasn't doing me any good?

My decision made, I spun around to retrace my steps then heard him from behind.

"Where are you going?" he questioned harshly just as the coffee indicated the pot was done.

As much as I loved my coffee in the mornings, I preferred it sweet instead of bitter, thank you very much.

"Back to Carter's arms, as you can imagine," I snapped, feeling a million times better.

Amber the doormat, I was not! It was time to show some restraint and backbone. Doormats got used and b.i.t.c.hes ... Well, they ruled the world.

I ought to take something from Lindsey's view on life.

Chapter Twelve.

It was my second day in Carter's home, and though he was nice and accommodating, I felt as if I needed to get away and be around different people for a while. I knew he meant well, but seriously, being around Brody and his toxic personality, sober or drunk, was just too much for me. I was still in a fragile state, even if I came off as fine and strong. Deep down, I was still coping from the hurt of my past decisions.

Since it was summer, house parties were abundant. My cell phone had been ringing non-stop since I got there with invitations to one party after the other. Given that parties in Carter Mason's home were a daily thing, be it small or ma.s.sive, I wasn't particularly interested in going somewhere else to live it up while making small talk or pretending to be friendly. Declining the parties wasn't a major deal, but one invite stood out.

It was Rob's party. He was a friend, just not a close one. We were mostly party buddies, always chilling when I was in the dumps, and tonight, I needed his casual, laidback self to cheer me up.

Sprawled on the floor in Carter's room as I sifted through the clothes in my luggage, I heard him come out of the bathroom, freshly showered. Then in came a strong, masculine scent that wafted all over the room. d.a.m.n, he smelled yummy.

"Hey, do you have a second?" he questioned as I tried to hide the stupid smile that appeared because my mind was drifting off to pheromone land.

Playing it cool, I used my b.u.t.t to spin my body to face him with an easy smile. "What's up, doll?"

The easy smile tapered off the moment I found him in his shorts, showcasing a defined six-pack. Did he not realize I was still a woman, one who hadn't been laid in ages? Seriously, there should be a rule for that.

He snickered upon hearing me call him doll. "I just got a phone call that I got into this soccer camp in Brazil, and I have to leave first thing tomorrow."

"Oh, wow! That's huge! Congratulations!" I exclaimed, knowing that was a major deal for him.

He was all about the sport, and I believed his love for Emma had derailed him from achieving what he truly wanted. Since Emma had dropped him like a hot potato, it was time to focus back on what he was pa.s.sionate about. I admired him for having the strength and will to keep going. He was young and beautiful; I had great confidence he would bounce back in no time if given, of course, enough distance between Emma and himself. Brazil was the perfect answer.

"Thank you. I'm actually looking forward to it." He made a genuine smile that indicated he was in a good place, that he truly had thought this out, and it was time to live again. "I think it'll be a good thing. I need to focus on where I want my life to go. This is a make it or break it deal for me. If I don't move now and take this opportunity, I might never have another one."

"Then go for it. f.u.c.k the rest. Do what you gotta do, babe. You know more than anyone what's best for you." I beamed before getting up from the floor to embrace him.

Somehow, it felt as though we needed the unforeseen friendship that had blossomed out of nowhere between us, a relationship I was grateful for. He was a good, changed man, and the next woman he decided to commit himself to better know how to cherish him well, or she was going to get it from me. All that aside, I was sincerely happy for him. This was a chance of a lifetime, so screw the rest.

Besides, he was right. It could be what he needed to refocus and concentrate on what he would love to do in the future.

Despite that he was leaving the next day, he made sure I knew I was more than welcome to stay there and carry out the original plan of my two week stay. I was still on the fence about that, because without him, I would have to deal with Brody and Cooper. Coop, I had no problems with. He was an easy, chill guy to be around, but Brody? Well, he seemed to be angry about anything and everything.

Tonight, I had every intention of letting myself go and having some good, ol' fun to forget about Brody and his moodiness. I desperately needed it more than anything. I literally needed to lighten up, and a joint or two would do anyone wonders when stressed out. With that in mind, I was looking forward to what was in store for tonight.

Hours later, I waited until the clock hit nine before I began getting ready. I was a girly chick with a tomboy edge, and I liked to mix and match this edginess in my clothing and the way I carried myself. Don't get me wrong; I loved a beautiful dress as much as the next woman, but I also liked to sweat and have it rough at the gym without a complaint. I wasn't high maintenance. Well, I didn't think I was.

No offense to my best friends, but the three of them were super girly. Emma wouldn't be caught dead trying to play soccer, let alone dress in a sporty outfit. Lindsey would rather dye her hair blonde before trying a beer. Trista would rather get lip injections than do a bicycle marathon for some cause. I understood that we were different individuals and had our own quirks; however, I admit there were times when I didn't feel as if I fit in with them.

I might get struck by lightning by admitting this to myself, but s.k.a.n.ky Cece had more in common with them than I ever did. Speaking of which, or witch since both applied to her, my chances of seeing her tonight were going to be highly likely. I looked forward to partying, but not with her. She always had something snide to say. If it wasn't about me, she would target any of my friends. To be honest, I would rather take hits when it came to myself, but when she decided to start with Emma, Lindsey, or Trista, I got really angry.

She was envious of Emma and Lindsey, and I got that. Those two were hard not to be jealous of because they had a lot of amazing things going for them. Seriously, though, shouldn't she channel that jealousy into trying to achieve something of substance for herself instead of projecting bitterness at every turn?

Apart from being too s.k.a.n.ky, she was actually a pretty girl. If she just learned to strip that toxic personality she had and have a personality makeover, she would be a million times salvageable. Then again, sometimes people were just wired the way G.o.d intended them, and it was up to the person to rise up to the challenge to change themselves. I was definitely ready for change. Anything was welcomed as long as it had a positive outcome. That was all I could ask and pray for.

I was all dolled up and set to rock and roll in my black, studded, gladiator heels; mini, light pink skirt; simple, black, fitted, strapless top; leather jacket with my messy hair in a tight bun, looking like a crown on my head, so I took my leave.

I didn't even stop when Brody wanted to corner me from leaving. Thank goodness I made a quick escape. It was rude to shut him down the way I did, but I just couldn't spar with him tonight. I was still jet-lagged and exhausted from the exchange we'd had that morning. I could only take him once a day in small intervals because his energy was just too much. It weighed too heavy on me, and if I wasn't careful and let him in the way I used to back in the day, I would be in his shoes in no time.

Sometimes, a person needed to be selfish to become a better version of themselves. It was a tough choice, yet it worked for people who brought unhappiness to our lives.

Armed with my newfound, invigorating purpose in life, I was ready to face whatever was in store for me.

Chapter Thirteen.

"The tan f.u.c.king brings out those s.e.xy eyes. I f.u.c.king love it." Rob immediately greeted me the second I walked into the home he had rented for the summer with his usual gang of buddies. He was always abundant with compliments. It was one of the things I liked about him.

"Thanks, Rob!" I gleefully exclaimed before he gave me a welcome hug then dragged me inside the house where the heavy, unmistakable odor of pot permeated the air.

After making sure I had a cold beer in hand, Rob was dragged away by some of his friends to do beer pong while I tried to find my way around the house. There were a few friendly faces around, but no one seemed to really stand out. The crowd was a mixture of everyone in the city, young and the ones who felt like they were still young. It was an interesting vibe; that was for sure.

I was just about to take my shoes off so I could go out and join the people who were on the beach when the screeching sound of a vile b.i.t.c.h halted me.

"Aw, look at you ... partying alone. You've fallen far down the ladder, haven't you, Amber? It's sad. It really is." Cece's unremarkable, scathing self stopped before me, her face plastered with thick make-up that was meant for theatre and her b.o.o.bs constricted within a small tank top that could barely hold them.

I hadn't even found my groove, and she was already out for the attack. f.u.c.k me sideways.

"You're still hung up on me? G.o.d, Cece, you need to get over me. Find a different hobby or maybe join a convent. I heard they're recruiting washed-up, s.k.a.n.ky wh.o.r.es."

Her confident, snarky stance turned dark and vindictive. "At least I'm not you-unwanted by parents and now unwanted by her friends because you're not that interesting. You're the outcast, alone with no man willing to commit to you other than to f.u.c.k you. That's all you're going to be, Amber-a f.u.c.k up, exactly how you were planted on this earth to begin with."

I shook with mad anger, her words triggering something deep within me to the point that I b.i.t.c.hed slap her hard across the face. She should know to stay away from topics that were too sensitive to even touch, especially my childhood.

"You better watch out, Cece. If you're out for blood, I'm going to f.u.c.king cut you and bleed you dry until all your dirty laundry is out in the open. I'm not Lindsey, Emma, or Trista; you don't get to f.u.c.k with me the way you did with them. You hit me, and I f.u.c.king hit back. So back the f.u.c.k off, or I'm going to f.u.c.king run you over. Take your f.u.c.king pick."

I think she was too shocked that I hit her and wasn't even sorry for it. Then she whimpered and slunk away from me, justifiably huffing with what little dignity she had intact.

My right hand stung and felt hot from its dramatic performance. It was worth it, though-to see her back away was worth everything. I had a lot bottled inside me, and she deposited herself in the line of fire, so she deserved it. Besides, she had done enough harm to all of us. That slap was for everyone she had hurt in my life. Not only that, but she also hit below the belt, and I was gob-smacked, shaking with anger as I tried to tell myself that Cece wasn't worth shedding a single tear for. However, my emotions had a different agenda. I could feel the back of my eyes p.r.i.c.kle as her words rang in my mind like a broken record, repeating over and over again until they drove me insane.

Dropping the idea of heading outside to mingle, I found myself in a gla.s.s corner, trying to lower my heart rate and adrenaline from the encounter with Cece, when Rob suddenly popped up out of nowhere.

"Sorry it took forever, but here's the goodies." He gave me a pill, took my beer, and exchanged it for a bottle of water.

Staring at my open palm, I frowned at it. "What's this?" It didn't look like the normal cocaine I was used to, but heck, things might have changed since I last used. I had been out of the loop for quite some time.

"It's Molly."

It sounded harmless, yet I was certain the effect was anything but.

"Is this a new thing?" I skeptically asked, wanting to know more about it before deciding to take it.

"It's basically E with a reboot. Guess it needed a new marking name in the drug world."

Right, cause PR and product branding was f.u.c.king needed for this sort of s.h.i.t.

Staring at the tiny, perfect, blue pill, I flipped it over and was surprised at the name blatantly stamped on the back.

"666? Really? Is there anything else?" I wasn't sure I was comfortable taking anything that had the demon a.s.sociated with. "Don't you have anything less ... umm ... evil?"

"Less evil?" he barked out in laughter, while I found it less than amusing.

I was particular with these things, and I admit, I was b.u.mmed not to get my usual c.o.c.ktail.

Wanting to reason with Rob, I persisted, "You know what I mean ... anything like a heart or something? Anything but this."

Something lit up his features. "Wait, I think we've got b.u.t.terfly in the house. Wait here and I'll go see if I can get one for you." He immediately disappeared before returning a few minutes later with a red pill that had a b.u.t.terfly marked on the back.

"Great, much better. Thanks, boo!"

"Under no circ.u.mstances will you mix this with alcohol until you're a pro or suicidal, 'cause if you're not used to these little droplets, you're going to end up in the ER or stiff in my living room, and we don't want that. So, are we good on that?"

Err ... What happened to Jack and c.o.ke?

I stared at him wildly as I weighed my thoughts. I would rather stick to what I was accustomed to, but apparently, he didn't have that. After all this time, he had run out of it. It was bizarre, yet I didn't argue with him.

It was a mistake I was going to pay dearly for.

With an empty stomach, it took approximately thirty minutes or so to really feel the shift of temporarily altered physical, mental, and emotional wellbeing. I could literally feel my blood coursing through my veins, beating, throbbing. The whole process was spine-tingling, electrifying, and absolutely profound. It was different from what I was used to. This was taking it to another level of mind-blowing experiences. The feel-good sensation was intense, as if it had recharged every single atom in my body and combusted into this beautiful, sensual symphony. It was a c.o.c.ktail of amazingness, bottled into my body, waiting to be explored, needing to come out and experience the transfixing animation around me.

Still standing, pole-axed by this entire transition as I gripped the bottled water in hand, I took my time getting my body accustomed to this new phase. Possible consequences were shoved to the back of my mind while I focused on my body coming alive as if it was brand new.

The anger, the hurt, and all the pain I had carried around in my heart simply vanished in the blink of an eye. I was in a bizarre state where I couldn't even recall what it was I had been feeling before taking the pill, because the sensations had taken over me, capturing me in a way that should terrify me, but since I was indulging in this new feeling, I didn't f.u.c.king care about the past. I wanted the now and what it give me.

"Are you feeling okay there, sweets?" Rob's concerned face was too close for comfort, but I supposed he wanted to see if my pupils were dilated or to make sure I was fine.

And I was more than okay. In fact, I had never felt better.

"Let's go dance!" I said as I shoved the bottle of water in the nearby chair before taking ahold of his hand and sprinting towards the available s.p.a.ce that was cleared for dancing.

I felt wild and intensely high to the point that, when Rob became really touchy, everything he did, even when he whispered into my ear, I felt as if I could o.r.g.a.s.m from it.

"G.o.d, you're so f.u.c.king hot. You don't have any f.u.c.king idea how f.u.c.king good it feels to have you in my hands..."

As much as I didn't intend to go down that route with Rob, the sensation his touch was creating inside of me made me feel as though I couldn't win the war my body was waging internally. Therefore, I gave in to his touchy advances while we danced, and I got so caught up in being "in the moment" that I didn't realize where this could all lead to.

Chapter Fourteen.

The acute migraine that managed to wake me up from a deep slumber made it feel as if a baseball bat had whacked my head. At first, all I could think about was the intense, mind-numbing throb of my head until I became all too aware of the G.o.d-awful smell that infiltrated my nostrils. It seemed like I was being punched in the gut while tons of bricks were being thrown against my chest every millisecond, all while being burned alive.

The gruesome reality of what had transpired the night before flashed through my mind as I cringed with repugnance. Like how it was in a movie, everything came rushing back like a bad Z-list, Indie horror movie.

The events began to spiral the moment I let Rob place a hand on me in a more intimate level compared to what we were normally accustomed to. I supposed in his point of view, I had given him permission to feel as though he had every right to do those things.

"Where are we going?" I frantically asked while he ushered me away from the crowded room where everyone was dancing, shooting, and boozing.

I b.u.mped into people's shoulders as we pa.s.sed by as he maneuvered us into a short hallway, taking a few turns before finally stopping at a door. Once he opened it, it took a few seconds for my eyes to adjust to the dimness of the room, thanks to the only light being what was projected from a laptop screen.

My heart quickly thudded as I scanned about the room, processing what was going on while at the same time not fully getting it. It was as if my mind's mechanics were not as tuned as they normally would be.