Toaster's Handbook Part 188

"My son," replied the mistress pridefully. "Oh, he has gone back to Yale. He could only get away long enough to stay until New Year's day, you see. I miss him dreadfully, tho."

"Yas, I knowing yoost how you feel. My broder, he ban in yail sax times since Tanksgiving."

YONKERS

An American took an Englishman to a theater. An actor in the farce, about to die, exclaimed: "Please, dear wife, don't bury me in Yonkers!"

The Englishman turned to his friend and said: "I say, old chap, what _are_ yonkers?"

"YOU"

Here's to the world, the merry old world, To its days both bright and blue; Here's to our future, be it what it may, And here's to my best--that's you!

ZONES

TEACHER--"How many zones has the earth?"

PUPIL--"Five."

TEACHER--"Correct. Name them."

PUPIL--"Temperate zone, intemperate, ca.n.a.l, horrid, and o."--_Life_.