To Love Again Part 16

Capisco. They both said ciao and hung up. At her end Isabella felt resentful. Why should she have to stay home, and what right did he have to tell her not to trust Corbett? She stepped out of her office, wandered into the kitchen, and found Natasha pouring herself a cup of coffee and looking grim.

Did you have a nice chat with Bernardo?

Yes, lovely. But do me a favor, not you too. Natasha had been quick to storm into her room at seven, with the newspaper in her hand and a look of fury still on her face. I don't think I can take any more today. I made a mistake. I was overconfident. I shouldn't have gone out last night, but I did. I had to. I couldn't stand it anymore. But I realize now that I have to stay in the background at least for a while.

What's he going to tell the press?

That I was here for a few days and that I'm going to live in France.

That ought to keep them scouting around Paris for a day or two. And you, what are you going to do?

What I have been doing. My work and not much else.

At least one nice thing happened out of all that ruckus last night. She watched Isabella intently.

What? Isabella looked blank.

You ran into Corbett again. Natasha paused, watching her face. And may I say that you made quite a hit.

With Corbett? Don't be silly. But as she turned away Natasha was sure she saw her blush.

Do you like him? There was a long silence. Well?

But slowly Isabella turned to her with a warm light in her eyes. Natasha, don't push.

She nodded. I think he might call you. Isabella nodded silently in answer, but her heart did a little leap as she went back to her office and closed the door.

Chapter TWENTY.

Isabella was still in her room, dressing for dinner, when Corbett arrived. From behind her closed door, as she listened, she heard the delighted shrieks of Jason and in a moment the equally pleased giggles of her own son. She smiled to herself. It wouldn't do him any harm to see a man for a change. It had been too long since he had been around Bernardo, and unlike her own home, Natasha didn't have any men working in her household. Alessandro had contact with only females, which lately had made him miss his father all the more.

Isabella zipped up the black wool dress she was wearing, smoothed her black stockings, and slipped into black suede shoes. She put on black enamel and pearl earrings and ran a hand over her dark, severely worn hair. She grinned to herself as she flicked the light off. The swan had turned into an ugly duckling again. But it didn't matter. She wasn't trying to woo Corbett Ewing, and like Alessandro, it would do her good to have a male friend.

When she walked quietly into the living room, she found him besieged by both boys, who had just opened two large packages that had yielded identical firemen's hats equipped with flashing lights and sirens with two firemen's coats to match.

Look, we're firemen now! They donned their equipment and zoomed around the room. Alessandro was obviously delighted to see Corbett again, and the shrieking from the sirens was appalling, as Natasha winced.

Lovely gift, Corbett. Remind me to call and thank you tomorrow morning at six o'clock.

He started to answer and then saw Isabella standing across the room. He rose quickly, looked at her nervously, and walked toward her to take her hand. h.e.l.lo, Isabella. How are you? But her eyes told him how she was. She was tired. Exhausted. But he found himself struck by her beauty again. She would have been surprised to hear it, but he decided that she looked even more so in the stark black wool, without the magnificence of satins and the striking white coat. You must have had quite a day. He rolled his eyes sympathetically, and she smiled as she followed him into the room and sat down on the couch.

Oh, I survived it. One always does. What about you?

For me it was easy. All they knew about me was that I had white hair. The only thing they didn't say was that I was an elderly gentleman He started to say more but the boys cut him off.

Look, look, it squirts water!

Oh, no! Jason had discovered that there was a little pipe fitted somewhere into the hat that could be filled with water and subsequently used to douse all of one's friends.

Corbett, I may never speak to you again! Natasha groaned and announced to the boys that it was time for bed.

No, Mommy ' Aunt Isabella ' no ' please! Jason looked at them pleadingly, but Alessandro simply moved in closer to Corbett's knees. He was staring at him with interest while Jason continued to play with the hat. Isabella had never seen him so quiet, and from a little distance she watched. Corbett had noticed it too and he turned to smile at him and casually put an arm around the small shoulders.

What do you think of all this, Alessandro?

I think it is' . He groped for the right English, very fun. I like very much the hat. He stared up at Corbett admiringly and grinned.

I thought they were pretty good too. Would you like to come and see a real firehouse with me sometime?

For firemans? He looked at Corbett and then at his mother with awe. You go too? Isabella nodded, noticing that Alessandro now spoke in English to her too.

Of course. I meant both of you. What do you say?

Si! But that was too much for him. He spent the next five minutes rattling frantically to his mother in Italian. There were lengthy discussions about how wonderful American firemen must be, what they wore, how big their trucks were, and whether or not they really used a bra.s.s pole.

Non so ' non so ' aspetta ' wait, we'll find all that out! Isabella was laughing with him, and she watched with amus.e.m.e.nt as he shifted his seat from next to hers onto Corbett's knee.

We will go soon?

I promise!

Very good. He clapped his hands and took off in hot pursuit of Jason, and moments later they were banished to their room, despite begging, pleading, protests, and outraged comments that it was too early for firemen to go to bed. When at last they were gone, the room was strangely quiet.

Corbett watched Isabella once again. You have a lovely boy.

I'm afraid he's a little eager for male company, as you probably observed. But after what Corbett had undoubtedly read in the papers that day, there was no need to hide the truth. In Rome he had one of my business a.s.sociates who is his G.o.dfather. Here he has she looked at Natasha only us. It's not quite the same thing. But you needn't feel obliged to take him to a fire-house. The gifts you brought are marvelous. You've done more than enough.

Don't be silly. I'd love it. Natasha can tell you. Jason is one of my best friends.

Fortunately, she confirmed it, since his charming father never shows up. She and Isabella had discussed that often in the past two months. But Jason seemed happy anyway, and having another child around was doing both boys a lot of good. It made up for other lacks, other losses, as neither of their mothers could.

I'll work it out for some time this week. Maybe this weekend, if you're all free. But as he said it Isabella looked at him and laughed.

Oh, yes, we're quite free.

Corbett was glad that she was laughing. After what he had read that day, he was not sure how she still could. But as he watched her he realized how very strong she was. She was bruised, she was lonely, but she was undaunted, and there was still laughter there, and fire, and a certain indestructible joy. He smiled at her openly and then raised an eyebrow.

Tell me, Isabella, he said, would you like to hear some more from me about textiles tonight? Or shall we just discuss art? He was laughing at her now too. In a moment they were all laughing, and the atmosphere in the room was easy and free.

I'm sorry. I couldn't help it. But what you told me was very interesting. Even if we do buy most of our satins in France.

That's your mistake. But the least you could have done was tell me that you were in fashion or something related to the trade.

Why? I was enjoying what you had to tell me. And you were absolutely right about everything except synthetics. I hate using them in couture.

But you do use them in ready-to-wear, don't you?

Obviously. I have to, for durability, and the price.

Then I'm not so far off. They launched into an intricate discussion of chemicals and colors. Quietly Natasha left them. When she returned, the conversation had moved on to Asia, the difficulties of doing business there, the climate, the financial arrangements, problems of exchanges, open markets, all highly specialized terms, until at last Hattie announced dinner and Natasha yawned.

I adore you both, but you're boring the h.e.l.l out of me.

I'm sorry. Isabella was quick to apologize. It's just very nice to have someone to talk to about business for a change.

I'll forgive you.

Corbett smiled at his hostess.

The three of them had a delightful evening. They made their way to lemon souffl+! and then finally espresso as Hattie pa.s.sed a small silver platter covered with mints.

I shouldn't. Natasha sounded like Scarlett O'Hara as she plopped four of the tiny candies into her mouth.

Neither should I. Isabella hesitated, but then shrugged. But why not? According to Natasha and Bernardo, I'm going to be in hiding for the next ten years anyway, so I might as well get enormous and fat I can let my hair grow to my ankles, '

Natasha quickly interrupted, I didn't say ten years, I said one.

What difference does it make? One year? Ten? Now I know how people feel when they're sentenced to prison. It never seems real until you're living it, and once you are, it's difficult to believe it will ever stop. It just goes on and on and on until one day it's over, and by then it probably doesn't matter anymore. She looked serious as she stirred her coffee and Corbett watched.

I don't know how you stand it I'm not sure I could.

Apparently I don't stand it very gracefully or I'd never have indulged in that fiasco last night. Thank G.o.d for you, Corbett, or I would have been thrown to the wolves, and by now I wouldn't even be able to stay here at Natasha's. I'd have to be hiding alone with Alessandro some place else. The three of them were considerably sobered by the thought.

I'm glad I was there then.

So am I. She looked at him openly, and slowly she smiled. I'm afraid I was very foolish. But also very lucky. Thank you again. She had come to her senses, but he was shaking his head.

I didn't do anything. Except run like h.e.l.l.

That was enough. For a moment their eyes met across the table, and he looked at her with a warm smile. Reluctantly they left the dining room and returned to the living room to sit by the fire. They chatted about Natasha's books, the theater, travel, and events in New York, and for a moment Natasha looked worried seeing a look of longing come into Isabella's eyes. Corbett understood quickly, and for a moment they were all quiet. And then Natasha stood up lazily and turned her back to the fire.

Well, you two. I think I'm going to be rude for a change. I'm tired. But she knew also that Corbett had wanted to speak to Isabella alone. Surprised, Isabella waited for Corbett to suggest that he should go, but he didn't. He stood to kiss Natasha, and then they were alone.

He watched her briefly as she looked absently into the fire, the glow lighting her face softly, the light reflecting in her large dark eyes. He wanted to tell her how lovely she looked, but knew instinctively that he could not.

Isabella' . His voice was whisper-soft, and she turned her face toward his. I'm awfully sorry about last night.

Don't be. It was inevitable, I suppose. I only wished that it could be different.

Natasha's right, you know. Eventually, it will be.

But not for a very long time. The laughter had faded, and she looked at him wistfully. In some ways I've been spoiled.

Is that sort of thing important to you, like last night?

Not really. But people are. What they're doing, what they look like, what they think it's very difficult suddenly living without them in my own tiny world.

It needn't be quite as tiny as this. He glanced around the softly lit living room and turned his eyes to hers with a smile. There are ways for you to get out without being seen.

I tried that last night.

No, you didn't You walked right into the bullring, dressed like the matador, and when everyone noticed you, you were surprised.

She laughed at the comparison. I hadn't thought of it quite that way.

He laughed softly too. I'm not sure if I said just the right thing. But you can get out of here. You can go for drives in the country. For long walks. There's no need to lock yourself up here entirely. You need it. You need to get out.

She stretched unhappily, trying to quell the yearning in her heart.

Will you let me take you out sometime? With Alessandro perhaps? Or alone?

That would be very nice. She sat very still for a moment and looked into his eyes. But you don't have to, you know. You're very kind.

He wouldn't take his eyes from hers. He shook his head softly, then looked away. I understand more than you think I do. I lost my wife a long time ago. Not as shockingly as you lost your husband. But it was intolerably painful in its own way. I thought I would die without her in the beginning. One loses all that is familiar, all that matters, everything that really counts. The one person who knows how you think, how you laugh, how you cry, how you feel, the person who remembers the favorite jokes of your childhood, the worst fears, the person who knows it all, who has the key. Suddenly you're left alone and you're certain that no one will ever understand again.

And do they? Isabella watched him, fighting back tears. Does someone else learn the language, understand the secrets; does anyone ever really care again? She was thinking, Will I ever care again?

Eventually I'm sure there is always someone. Maybe the secrets aren't quite the same, maybe they laugh differently, or they cry more, or their needs are differently geared to yours. But there are other people, Isabella. As much as you don't want to hear it, it's something you should know.

Have there been for you? Anyone who could replace her?

In some ways no. But I haven't really been open to it, not unlike you. What has happened though is that I've learned to live with it. It doesn't hurt every day. But then again I didn't lose my home, my country, my whole way of life as you have right now.

She sighed softly. The only two things I haven't lost are my business and my child. Which is why I'm here. There was a false alarm about Alessandro, and I decided that I couldn't live that way anymore.

But you still have those two things, and no one can take them from you. Not the business and not the child. They are both safe here with you.

Alessandro is, but I worry about the business a great deal.

I don't think you have to. From what I've read of it, it seems to be quite secure.

For now. But I can't run it this way forever. You of all people must understand that.

He did, better than he wanted to tell her. After what she had just told him, he couldn't say more. He felt a weight settle on his shoulders as he warmed his hands at the fire.

Eventually there are changes you can make. You can open a larger office here. You can divide your administration in such a way as to allow you to run it from anywhere. But only if you have to. And this probably isn't the right time.

I plan to go back to Rome.

He nodded sagely in answer, saying nothing. Then softly: In time I'm sure you will. And in the meantime you're here. I'd like to help you make the most of that The one thing that saved me when Beth died was my friends.

Isabella nodded her understanding; she knew that only too well.