Three Plays by Granville-Barker Part 64

MR. GEORGE BOOTH. I have come immediately to tell you of my decision . .

perhaps this trouble will then be a little more off my mind.

EDWARD. What is it?

MR. GEORGE BOOTH. I couldn't think the matter out alone. I went this afternoon to talk it all over with my old friend Colpus. [_at this news_ EDWARD'S _eyebrows contract and then rise_.] What a terrible shock to him!

EDWARD. Oh, nearly three of his four thousand pounds are quite safe.

MR. GEORGE BOOTH. That you and your father . . you, whom he baptised . .

should have robbed him! I never saw a man so utterly prostrate with grief. That it should have been your father! And his poor wife! . .

though she never got on with your father.

EDWARD. [_with cheerful irony._] Oh, Mrs. Colpus knows too, does she?

MR. GEORGE BOOTH. Of course he told Mrs. Colpus. This is an unfortunate time for the storm to break on him. What with Christmas Day and Sunday following so close they're as busy as can be. He has resolved that during this season of peace and goodwill he must put the matter from him if he can. But once Christmas is over . . ! [_he envisages the Christian old vicar giving_ EDWARD _a h.e.l.l of a time then_.]

EDWARD. [_coolly._] So I conclude you mean to prosecute. For if you don't, you've given the Colpuses a lot of unnecessary pain . . and inflicted a certain amount of loss by telling them.

MR. GEORGE BOOTH. [_navely._] I never thought of that. No, Edward, I have decided not to prosecute.

EDWARD _hides his face for a moment_.

EDWARD. And I've been hoping to escape! Well . . it can't be helped [_and he sets his teeth_.]

MR. GEORGE BOOTH. [_with touching solemnity._] I think I could not bear to see the family I have loved brought to such disgrace.

EDWARD. So you'll compound my felony?

MR. GEORGE BOOTH. [_a little nervous._] That's only your joke!

EDWARD. You'll come to no harm.

MR. GEORGE BOOTH. On the contrary. And I want to ask your pardon, Edward, for some of the hard thoughts I have had of you. I consider this effort of yours to restore to the firm the credit which your father lost a very striking one. What improvements have you effected so far?

EDWARD. [_wondering what is coming now._] I took the money that my father left . .

MR. GEORGE BOOTH. And I suppose you take the ordinary profits of the firm?

EDWARD. Yes. It costs me very little to live.

MR. GEORGE BOOTH. Do you restore to the clients all round in proportion to the amount they have lost?

EDWARD. [_cautiously._] That's the law.

MR. GEORGE BOOTH. D'you think that's quite fair?

EDWARD. No, I don't.

MR. GEORGE BOOTH. No, I consider the treachery to have been blacker in some cases than in others.

EDWARD. [_his face brightening a little._] Are you going to help me in this work of mine?

MR. GEORGE BOOTH. Surely by consenting not to prosecute I am doing so.

EDWARD. Will you do no more?

MR. GEORGE BOOTH. Well, as far as my own money is concerned, this is my proposal. [_he coughs and proceeds very formally._] Considering how absolutely I trusted your father and believed in him, I think you should at once return me the balance of my capital that there is left.

EDWARD. [_cold again._] That is being done.

MR. GEORGE BOOTH. Good. That you should continue to pay me a fair interest upon the rest of that capital, which ought to exist and does not. And that you should, year by year, pay me back by degrees out of the earnings of the firm as much of that capital as you can afford. We will agree upon the sum . . say a thousand a year. I doubt if you can ever restore me all that I have lost, but do your best and I shan't complain. There . . I think that is fair dealing!

EDWARD _does not take his eyes off_ MR. BOOTH _until the whole meaning of this proposition has settled in his brain. Then, without warning, he goes off into peals of laughter, much to the alarm of_ MR. BOOTH, _who has never thought him over-sane_.

EDWARD. How funny! How very funny!

MR. GEORGE BOOTH. Edward, don't laugh.

EDWARD. I never heard anything quite so funny!

MR. GEORGE BOOTH. Edward, stop laughing.

EDWARD. What will Colpus . . what will all the other Christian gentlemen demand? Pounds of flesh! Pounds of flesh!

MR. GEORGE BOOTH. Don't be hysterical. I demand what is mine . . in such quant.i.ties as you can afford.

EDWARD'S _laughter gives way to the deepest anger of which he is capable_.

EDWARD. I'm giving my soul and body to restoring you and the rest of you to your precious money bags . . and you'll wring me dry. Won't you?

Won't you?

MR. GEORGE BOOTH. Now be reasonable. Argue the point quietly.

EDWARD. Go to the devil, sir.

_And with that he turns away from the flabbergasted old gentleman._

MR. GEORGE BOOTH. Don't be rude.

EDWARD. [_his anger vanishing._] I beg your pardon.

MR. GEORGE BOOTH. You're excited. Take time to think of it. I'm reasonable.

EDWARD. [_his sense of humour returning._] Most! Most! [_There is a knock at the door._] Come in. Come in.

HONOR _intrudes an apologetic head_.

HONOR. Am I interrupting business? I'm so sorry.