Three Hats Part 12

FRED. Thanks for your good intentions. But how can _you_ interfere? _You_ are not her father.

(Exit FRED, L. 2 E. quickly.

SEL. Not her father! What? Here I say! (He rushes after FRED, who slams his door.)

Enter DIBBS, hurriedly, C.

DIBBS. Sir, sir! (MR. SELWYN sits, L.)

SEL. What is it now?

DIBBS (aside, taking him down, R.). A lady downstairs--says she must see Mr. Fred Bellamy--her name's Lottie--and she says she's been deceived----

SEL. Great Goodness! 'Tis she! (Aside to DIBBS.) Hush, not a word! I'll be there in an instant.

(Exit DIBBS, C.

CAPT. K. (entering, L. U. E.). Me darling!

SEL. (stopping). Who's this familiar fellow?

GRACE. Oh! Corney! Papa's changed his mind _again_, and withdrawn his consent!

CAPT. K. Would he give you to this Bellamy? (GRACE nods, "Yes.")

SEL. Is that Captain Katskill?

CAPT. K. Never while I am alive.

SEL. Excuse me, sir----(advancing).

CAPT. K. (only half turning to him). Sir, I did not address meself to you! (Continuing conversation to ladies.) I do not yet despair me darling!

SEL. Darling! How dare you call my----

CAPT. K. (sharply). Sir, I am not talking to you!

SEL. (piqued at his abruptness). You are a vagabond!

CAPT. K. Sir, for the third and last time I say I am not speaking to you. (Continuing.) After all Mr. Selwyn is not really the father of my Gracie.

SEL. Now _he's_ at it!

CAPT. K. She's the child of his cousin's widow--he told me so himself.

MRS. S. (aside). What does he mean?

SEL. (furious). My cousin's--what?

Enter FRED, with his luggage in hand, L. 2 E.

SEL. Look here, Captain Killarney----

CAPT. K. Katskill of Kilkenny, sir!

FRED (dropping his luggage with a bang). Katskill!

SEL. You want to marry my daughter, and yet you dare to insult me!

FRED. He wants to marry Grace! Just now he wanted to marry Lottie!

ALL. Lottie!

FRED. Yes! Lottie Blithers! Dare you deny it, you Hibernia Don Juan! Her own father told me all about it.

MRS. S. Can this be true?

SEL. He wants _two_ wives! (Music till end of act.)

Enter DIBBS suddenly, C.

DIBBS. No, _three_!

ALL. Wha-a-t?

DIBBS. A Mormonite!

CAPT. K. (threatening DIBBS). Ah! Ye young divil!

DIBBS (dodging behind bureau). Who's afraid? You know you're after Miss Tompkins! I listened at the keyhole and heard you ask the old man!

GRACE and FRED. Miss Tompkins?

SEL. Any _more_? (Vehemently.)

MRS. S. (to CAPTAIN KATSKILL indignantly). Leave this house, sir!

CAPT. K. Ladies! I swear--Grace----

GRACE (very angry). Don't Grace me, sir! Adieu for ever!

CAPT. K. Oh! (To FRED.) It is _you_, sir, I have to thank for this!

FRED (defiantly). Well?

CAPT. K. I shall call you out!

SEL. Hullo! Baulked in his bigamy, he thirsts for blood!