The Zankiwank and The Bletherwitch Part 8

O fountain pure and bright, Dance in the joyous sun; And sparkle in your might Until all life is done.

In the winter, cold and dreary, Cease the waters in their play; But the lovers, grey and weary, Seek the tryst of yesterday!

Time and tide flow on for ever, Heedless of man's joy or pain; But beyond the tideless river Trusting hearts will meet again.

O fountain pure and bright, Dance in the joyous sun; And sparkle in your might, Until all life is done.

The voices faded and died away; the scene changed and a purple curtain descended, hiding everything and everybody except the Winny Weg. An extraordinary commotion outside warned the half-dozing children that a fresh flight of goblins might be expected. And sure enough in stalked an army of giants from one side, who were met by an army of dwarfs from the other, the latter on stilts. But the curious thing about them was that the giants had only got one eye, which was stuck on the ends of their noses, while the dwarfs had their eyes where their ears ought to be, and their ears in the place usually reserved for the eyes. Besides which they each had a large horn fixed in the middle of their foreheads.

Both armies expressed surprise at seeing each other, the leaders of which said quite calmly, as though they were asking one another to have a penny bun cut up in four between them--both said quite calmly--

"I suppose we must fight now we have met?"

Upon hearing this the Winny Weg mounted her broom-stick and flew up out of harm's way.

And then commenced the most terrible battle ever seen on land or sea.

They fought with penknives and darning-needles, the battle lasted half an hour, and only one stilt was injured. So they began again, using coal scuttles and tongs, and the din was so fearful, and the giants and the dwarfs got so mixed up that a railway train filled with Shadows of the Past rushed on and sent both armies flying. Then the shadows deepened and deepened, and the lightning flashed, the thunders crashed, the sea roared, and a great red cavern opened and swallowed up everything, including Maude and Willie, who certainly were not quite awake to what was going forward, and all they could recollect of the occurrence was that they saw the winkles and the shrimps on the sea-sh.o.r.e playing at bowls with the c.o.c.kles.

[Ill.u.s.tration]

Part IV

The Land of Topsy Turvey

_In the noon of night, o'er the stormy hills The fairy minstrels play; And the strains replete with fantastic dreams, On the wild gusts flit away.

Then the sleeper thinks, as the dreamful song On the blast to his slumber comes, That his nose as the church's spire is long, And like its organ hums!_ R. D. WILLIAMS.

_Wouldst know what tricks, by the pale moonlight, Are played by one, the merry little Sprite?

I wing through air from the camp to the court, From King to clown, and of all make sport, Singing I am the Sprite Of the merry midnight Who laughs at weak mortals and loves the moonlight._ THOMAS MOORE.

The Land of Topsy Turvey

If Maude and Willie had been in a state of somnolency during their sojourn in Shadow Land, they felt themselves very much awake on reaching the land of Topsy Turvey. They knew they were in Topsy Turvey Land because they were greeted with a jingling chorus to that effect immediately they opened their eyes:--

O this is Topsy Turvey Land, Where ev'ry one is gay and bland, And day is always night.

We welcome to all strangers give, For by their custom we must live, Because we're so polite.

O this is Topsy Turvey Land, And all our goods are in demand, By mortal, fay and sprite.

Our novelties are warranted, And through the land their fame is spread, Because we're so polite.

[Ill.u.s.tration]

Surely they had been whisked back to Charing Cross again without knowing it? The long wide thoroughfare in which the children now found themselves was just like one of the main shopping streets in London.

Some parts reminded them of Regent Street, some of the Strand, and some of Oxford Street. Yes, and there was the Lowther Arcade, only somehow a little different. It was odd. Toy shops, novelty stores, picture shops, and shops of all sorts and sizes greeted them on either hand. Moreover, there were the shopkeepers and their a.s.sistants, and crowds of people hurrying by, jostling the loungers and the gazers; and the one policeman, who was talking to a fat person in a print gown who was standing at the area steps of the only private house they could see.

They were wondering what they should do when the policeman cried out:--

"Come along there! Now then, move on!" How rude of him. However, they "moved on," and were nearly knocked down by the Zankiw.a.n.k, who darted into the post-office to receive a telegram and to send one in reply.

They followed him, of course; they knew the telegram was from the Bletherwitch, and the Zankiw.a.n.k read it out to them:--

"Fashions in bonnets changed. Have ordered six mops. Don't forget the cauliflower. Postpone the wedding at once. No cards."

"Now what does that mean," murmured the expectant bridegroom. "My Bletherwitch cannot be well. I'll send her some cough lozenges." So he wrote a reply and despatched it:--

"Take some cough drops every five minutes. Have ordered cuc.u.mber for supper. Pay the cabman and come by electricity."

"That certainly should induce her to come, don't you think so? She is so very sensitive. Well, I must not be impatient, she is exceedingly charming when you catch her in the right mood."

[Ill.u.s.tration]

Maude scarcely believed that the Bletherwitch could possess so many charms, or she would not keep her future husband waiting so long for her. But she knew it was useless offering any advice on so delicate a subject, so she and Willie begged the Zankiw.a.n.k to be their guide and to show them the Lions of Topsy Turvey, which he readily agreed to do.

And now, as they left the post-office, they turned their attention to the shops and were surprised to read the names over the windows of several individuals they had already met in the train. For instance, the Wimble lived next door to the Wamble, and each one had printed in the window a very curious legend.

This is what the Wamble had:--

GOOD RESOLUTIONS BOUGHT, SOLD AND EXCHANGED.

A FEW BAD, AND SOME SLIGHTLY DAMAGED, TO BE DISPOSED OF--A BARGAIN.

_No connection with the business next door._

While the Wimble stated the nature of his wares as follows:--

BAD RESOLUTIONS BOUGHT, SOLD AND EXCHANGED.

A FEW GOOD, AND SOME SLIGHTLY INDIFFERENT, TO BE DISPOSED OF--A BARGAIN.

_No connection with the business next door._

"No connection with the business next door," repeated Willie.

"Why, you told us that they were brothers--twins," indignantly cried Maude.

"So they are! So they are! Don't you see they are twins from a family point of view only. In business, of course, they are desperately opposed to each other. That is why they are so prosperous," explained the Zankiw.a.n.k.

"Are they prosperous? I never heard of such a thing as buying and selling Resolutions. How can one buy a Good Resolution?" enquired Maude.

"Or exchange Bad Resolutions," said Willie. "It is quite wicked."