The Works of Lord Byron Volume IV Part 88

(If nations may be likened to a goose), And realised the phrase of "h.e.l.l broke loose."[529]

LIX.

Here crashed a st.u.r.dy oath of stout John Bull, Who d.a.m.ned away his eyes as heretofore: There Paddy brogued "By Jasus!"--"What's your wull?"

The temperate Scot exclaimed: the French ghost swore In certain terms I shan't translate in full, As the first coachman will; and 'midst the war,[hc]

The voice of Jonathan was heard to express, "_Our_ President is going to war, I guess."

LX.

Besides there were the Spaniard, Dutch, and Dane; In short, an universal shoal of shades From Otaheite's isle to Salisbury Plain, Of all climes and professions, years and trades, Ready to swear against the good king's reign,[hd]

Bitter as clubs in cards are against spades:[530]

All summoned by this grand "subpoena," to Try if kings mayn't be d.a.m.ned like me or you.

LXI.

When Michael saw this host, he first grew pale, As Angels can; next, like Italian twilight, He turned all colours--as a peac.o.c.k's tail, Or sunset streaming through a Gothic skylight In some old abbey, or a trout not stale, Or distant lightning on the horizon by night, Or a fresh rainbow, or a grand review Of thirty regiments in red, green, and blue.

LXII.

Then he addressed himself to Satan: "Why-- My good old friend, for such I deem you, though Our different parties make us fight so shy, I ne'er mistake you for a _personal_ foe; Our difference _political_, and I Trust that, whatever may occur below, You know my great respect for you: and this Makes me regret whate'er you do amiss--

LXIII.

"Why, my dear Lucifer, would you abuse My call for witnesses? I did not mean That you should half of Earth and h.e.l.l produce; 'Tis even superfluous, since two honest, clean, True testimonies are enough: we lose Our Time, nay, our Eternity, between The accusation and defence: if we Hear both, 'twill stretch our immortality."

LXIV.

Satan replied, "To me the matter is Indifferent, in a personal point of view: I can have fifty better souls than this With far less trouble than we have gone through Already; and I merely argued his Late Majesty of Britain's case with you Upon a point of form: you may dispose Of him; I've kings enough below, G.o.d knows!"

LXV.

Thus spoke the Demon (late called "multifaced"[531]

By multo-scribbling Southey). "Then we'll call One or two persons of the myriads placed Around our congress, and dispense with all The rest," quoth Michael: "Who may be so graced As to speak first? there's choice enough--who shall It be?" Then Satan answered, "There are many; But you may choose Jack Wilkes as well as any."

LXVI.

A merry, c.o.c.k-eyed, curious-looking Sprite[532]

Upon the instant started from the throng, Dressed in a fashion now forgotten quite; For all the fashions of the flesh stick long By people in the next world; where unite All the costumes since Adam's, right or wrong, From Eve's fig-leaf down to the petticoat, Almost as scanty, of days less remote.[533]

LXVII.

The Spirit looked around upon the crowds a.s.sembled, and exclaimed, "My friends of all The spheres, we shall catch cold amongst these clouds; So let's to business: why this general call?

If those are freeholders I see in shrouds, And 'tis for an election that they bawl, Behold a candidate with unturned coat![he]

Saint Peter, may I count upon your vote?"

LXVIII.

"Sir," replied Michael, "you mistake; these things Are of a former life, and what we do Above is more august; to judge of kings Is the tribunal met: so now you know."

"Then I presume those gentlemen with wings,"[hf]

Said Wilkes, "are Cherubs; and that soul below Looks much like George the Third, but to my mind A good deal older--bless me! is he blind?"

LXIX.

"He is what you behold him, and his doom Depends upon his deeds," the Angel said; "If you have aught to arraign in him, the tomb Gives license to the humblest beggar's head To lift itself against the loftiest."--"Some,"

Said Wilkes, "don't wait to see them laid in lead, For such a liberty--and I, for one, Have told them what I thought beneath the sun."

LXX.

"_Above_ the sun repeat, then, what thou hast To urge against him," said the Archangel. "Why,"

Replied the spirit, "since old scores are past, Must I turn evidence? In faith, not I.

Besides, I beat him hollow at the last[534], With all his Lords and Commons: in the sky I don't like ripping up old stories, since His conduct was but natural in a prince.

LXXI.

"Foolish, no doubt, and wicked, to oppress A poor unlucky devil without a shilling; But then I blame the man himself much less Than Bute and Grafton[535], and shall be unwilling To see him punished here for their excess, Since they were both d.a.m.ned long ago, and still in Their place below: for me, I have forgiven, And vote his _habeas corpus_ into Heaven."

LXXII.

"Wilkes," said the Devil, "I understand all this; You turned to half a courtier[536] ere you died, And seem to think it would not be amiss To grow a whole one on the other side Of Charon's ferry; you forget that _his_ Reign is concluded; whatsoe'er betide, He won't be sovereign more: you've lost your labour, For at the best he will but be your neighbour.

LXXIII.

"However, I knew what to think of it, When I beheld you in your jesting way, Flitting and whispering round about the spit Where Belial, upon duty for the day[hg], With Fox's lard was basting William Pitt, His pupil; I knew what to think, I say: That fellow even in h.e.l.l breeds farther ills; I'll have him _gagged_--'twas one of his own Bills[537].

LXXIV.

"Call Junius!" From the crowd a shadow stalked[538].

And at the name there was a general squeeze, So that the very ghosts no longer walked In comfort, at their own aerial ease, But were all rammed, and jammed (but to be balked, As we shall see), and jostled hands and knees, Like wind compressed and pent within a bladder, Or like a human colic, which is sadder.[hh]

LXXV.

The shadow came--a tall, thin, grey-haired figure, That looked as it had been a shade on earth[hi]; Quick in its motions, with an air of vigour, But nought to mark its breeding or its birth; Now it waxed little, then again grew bigger[hj], With now an air of gloom, or savage mirth: But as you gazed upon its features, they Changed every instant--to _what_, none could say.

LXXVI.

The more intently the ghosts gazed, the less Could they distinguish whose the features were; The Devil himself seemed puzzled even to guess; They varied like a dream--now here, now there; And several people swore from out the press, They knew him perfectly; and one could swear He was his father; upon which another Was sure he was his mother's cousin's brother:

LXXVII.

Another, that he was a duke, or knight, An orator, a lawyer, or a priest, A nabob, a man-midwife;[539] but the wight[hk]

Mysterious changed his countenance at least As oft as they their minds: though in full sight He stood, the puzzle only was increased; The man was a phantasmagoria in Himself--he was so volatile and thin.

LXXVIII.

The moment that you had p.r.o.nounced him _one_, Presto! his face changed, and he was another; And when that change was hardly well put on, It varied, till I don't think his own mother (If that he had a mother) would her son Have known, he shifted so from one to t'other; Till guessing from a pleasure grew a task,[hl]

At this epistolary "Iron Mask."[540]

LXXIX.