The Works of Guy de Maupassant Volume IV Part 33

The gendarme smiled, pleased at his chief's idea, and Lecacheur also smiled now, for the affair of the shepherd struck him as very funny: deceived husbands are always amusing.

Twelve o'clock had just struck when the brigadier, followed by his man, knocked gently three times at the door of a little lonely house, situated at the corner of a wood, five hundred yards from the village.

They had been standing close against the wall, so as not to be seen from within, and they waited. As n.o.body answered, the brigadier knocked again in a minute or two. It was so quiet, that the house seemed uninhabited; but Lenient, the gendarme, who had very quick ears, said that he heard somebody moving about inside, and then Senateur got angry. He would not allow anyone to resist the authority of the law for a moment, and, knocking at the door with the hilt of his sword, he cried out:

"Open the door, in the name of the law."

As this order had no effect, he roared out:

"If you do not obey, I shall smash the lock. I am the brigadier of the gendarmerie, by G--! Here Lenient."

He had not finished speaking when the door opened and Senateur saw before him a fat girl, with a very red color, blowzy, with pendant b.r.e.a.s.t.s, a big stomach and broad hips, a sort of sanguine and b.e.s.t.i.a.l female, the wife of the shepherd Severin, and he went into the cottage.

"I have come to pay you a visit, as I want to make a little search," he said, and he looked about him. On the table there was a plate, a jug of cider and a gla.s.s half full, which proved that a meal had been going on.

Two knives were lying side by side, and the shrewd gendarme winked at his superior officer.

"It smells good," the latter said.

"One might swear that it was stewed rabbit," Lenient added, much amused.

"Will you have a gla.s.s of brandy?" the peasant woman asked.

"No, thank you; I only want the skin of the rabbit that you are eating."

She pretended not to understand, but she was trembling.

"What rabbit?"

The brigadier had taken a seat, and was calmly wiping his forehead.

"Come, come, you are not going to try and make us believe that you live on couch gra.s.s. What were you eating there all by yourself for your dinner?"

"I? Nothing whatever, I swear to you. A mite of b.u.t.ter on my bread."

"You are a novice, my good woman, _a mite of b.u.t.ter on your bread_.... You are mistaken; you ought to have said: a mite of b.u.t.ter on the rabbit. By G--d, your b.u.t.ter smells good! It is special b.u.t.ter, extra good b.u.t.ter, b.u.t.ter fit for a wedding; certainly, not household b.u.t.ter!"

The gendarme was shaking with laughter, and repeated:

"Not household b.u.t.ter, certainly."

As brigadier Senateur was a joker, all the gendarmes had grown facetious, and the officer continued:

"Where is your b.u.t.ter?"

"My b.u.t.ter?"

"Yes, your b.u.t.ter."

"In the jar."

"Then where is the b.u.t.ter jar?"

"Here it is."

She brought out an old cup, at the bottom of which there was a layer of rancid, salt b.u.t.ter, and the brigadier smelt it, and said, with a shake of his head:

"It is not the same. I want the b.u.t.ter that smells of the rabbit. Come, Lenient, open your eyes; look under the sideboard, my good fellow, and I will look under the bed."

Having shut the door, he went up to the bed and tried to move it; but it was fixed to the wall, and had not been moved for more than half a century, apparently. Then the brigadier stooped, and made his uniform crack. A b.u.t.ton had flown off.

"Lenient," he said.

"Yes, brigadier?"

"Come here my lad and look under the bed; I am too tall. I will look after the sideboard."

He got up and waited while his man executed his orders.

Lenient, who was short and stout, took off his kepi, laid himself on his stomach, and putting his face on the floor looked at the black cavity under the bed, and then, suddenly, he exclaimed:

"All right, here we are!"

"What have you got? The rabbit?"

"No, the thief."

"The thief! Pull him out, pull him out!"

The gendarme had put his arms under the bed and laid hold of something, and he was pulling with all his might, and at last a foot, shod in a thick boot, appeared, which he was holding in his right hand. The brigadier took it, crying:

"Pull! pull!"

And Lenient, who was on his knees by that time, was pulling at the other leg. But it was a hard job, for the prisoner kicked out hard, and arched up his back across the bed.

"Courage! courage! pull! pull!" Senateur cried, and they pulled him with all their strength so that the wooden bar gave way, and he came out as far as his head; but at last they got that out also, and they saw the terrified and furious face of Polyte, whose arms remained stretched out under the bed.

"Pull away!" the brigadier kept on exclaiming. Then they heard a strange noise, and as the arms followed the shoulders, and the hands the arms, and, in the hands the handle of a saucepan, and at the end of the handle the saucepan itself, which contained stewed rabbit.

"Good Lord! good Lord!" the brigadier shouted in his delight, while Lenient took charge of the man; and the rabbit's skin, an overwhelming proof, was discovered under the mattress, and then the gendarmes returned in triumph to the village with their prisoner and their booty.

A week later, as the affair had made much stir, Lecacheur, on going into the _Mairie_ to consult the school-master, was told that the shepherd Severin had been waiting for him for more than an hour, and he found him sitting on a chair in a corner, with his stick between his legs. When he saw the mayor, he got up, took off his cap, and said:

"Good morning, Maitre Cacheux;" and then he remained standing, timid and embarra.s.sed.

"What do you want?" the former said.