The Works of Charles and Mary Lamb Volume IV Part 41

JOHN He hath his stoopings and reposes; but his proper element is the sky, and in the suburbs of the empyrean.

THIRD GENTLEMAN Is your wine-intellectual so exquisite? henceforth, I, a man of plain conceit, will, in all humility, content my mind with canaries.

FOURTH GENTLEMAN I am for a song or a catch. When will the catches come on, the sweet wicked catches?

JOHN They cannot be introduced with propriety before midnight. Every man must commit his twenty b.u.mpers first. We are not yet well roused. Frank Lovel, the gla.s.s stands with you.

LOVEL Gentlemen, the Duke. (_Fills_.)

ALL The Duke. (_They drink_.)

GRAY Can any tell, why his Grace, being a Papist--

JOHN Pshaw! we will have no questions of state now. Is not this his Majesty's birth-day?

GRAY What follows?

JOHN That every man should sing, and be joyful, and ask no questions.

SECOND GENTLEMAN d.a.m.n politics, they spoil drinking.

THIRD GENTLEMAN For certain,'tis a blessed monarchy.

SECOND GENTLEMAN The cursed fanatic days we have seen! The times have been when swearing was out of fashion.

THIRD GENTLEMAN And drinking.

FIRST GENTLEMAN And wenching.

GRAY The cursed yeas and forsooths, which we have heard uttered, when a man could not rap out an innocent oath, but strait the air was thought to be infected.

LOVEL 'Twas a pleasant trick of the saint, which that trim puritan _Swear-not-at-all Smooth-speech_ used, when his spouse chid him with an oath for committing with his servant-maid, to cause his house to be fumigated with burnt brandy, and ends of scripture, to disperse the devil's breath, as he termed it.

ALL Ha! ha! ha!

GRAY But 'twas pleasanter, when the other saint _Resist-the-devil- and-he-will-flee-from-thee Pure-man_ was overtaken in the act, to plead an illusio visus, and maintain his sanct.i.ty upon a supposed power in the adversary to counterfeit the shapes of things.

ALL Ha! ha! ha!

JOHN Another round, and then let every man devise what trick he can in his fancy, for the better manifesting our loyalty this day.

GRAY Shall we hang a puritan?

JOHN No, that has been done already in Coleman-Street.

SECOND GENTLEMAN Or fire a conventicle?

JOHN That is stale too.

THIRD GENTLEMAN Or burn the a.s.sembly's catechism?

FOURTH GENTLEMAN Or drink the king's health, every man standing upon his head naked?

JOHN (_to Lovel_) We have here some pleasant madness.

THIRD GENTLEMAN Who shall pledge me in a pint b.u.mper, while we drink to the king upon our knees?

LOVEL Why on our knees, Cavalier?

JOHN (_smiling_) For more devotion, to be sure. (_To a servant_.) Sirrah, fetch the gilt goblets.

(_The goblets are brought. They drink the king's health, kneeling. A shout of general approbation following the first appearance of the goblets_.)

JOHN We have here the unchecked virtues of the grape. How the vapours curl upwards! It were a life of G.o.ds to dwell in such an element: to see, and hear, and talk brave things. Now fie upon these casual potations.

That a man's most exalted reason should depend upon the ign.o.ble fermenting of a fruit, which sparrows pluck at as well as we!

GRAY (_aside to Lovel_) Observe how he is ravished.

LOVEL Vanity and gay thoughts of wine do meet in him and engender madness.

(_While the rest are engaged in a wild kind of talk, John advances to the front of the stage and soliloquises_.)

JOHN My spirits turn to fire, they mount so fast.

My joys are turbulent, my hopes shew like fruition.

These high and gusty relishes of life, sure, Have no allayings of mortality in them.

I am too hot now and o'ercapable, For the tedious processes, and creeping wisdom, Of human acts, and enterprizes of a man.

I want some seasonings of adversity, Some strokes of the old mortifier Calamity, To take these swellings down, divines call vanity.

FIRST GENTLEMAN Mr. Woodvil, Mr. Woodvil.

SECOND GENTLEMAN Where is Woodvil?

GRAY Let him alone. I have seen him in these lunes before. His abstractions must not taint the good mirth.

JOHN (_continuing to soliloquize_) O for some friend now, To conceal nothing from, to have no secrets.

How fine and n.o.ble a thing is confidence, How reasonable too, and almost G.o.dlike!

Fast cement of fast friends, band of society, Old natural go-between in the world's business, Where civil life and order, wanting this cement, Would presently rush back Into the pristine state of singularity, And each man stand alone.

(_A Servant enters._) Gentlemen, the fire-works are ready.

FIRST GENTLEMAN What be they?

LOVEL The work of London artists, which our host has provided in honour of this day.

SECOND GENTLEMAN 'Sdeath, who would part with his wine for a rocket?

LOVEL Why truly, gentlemen, as our kind host has been at the pains to provide this spectacle, we can do no less than be present at it. It will not take up much time. Every man may return fresh and thirsting to his liquor.