The Works of Aphra Behn Volume I Part 60

_Feth._ Ay, she sleeps as 'twere her last. What if I made bold to unrig her? So if I miss the Lady, I have at least my Charges paid: what vigorous Lover can resist her Charms?-- [Looks on her.

But shou'd she wake and miss it, and find it about me, I shou'd be hang'd-- [Turns away.

--So then, I lose my Lady too-- but Flesh and Blood cannot resist-- What if I left the Town? then I lose my Lady still; and who wou'd lose a Hog for the rest of the Proverb?-- And yet a Bird in Hand, Friend _Nicholas_-- Yet sweet Meat may have sour Sauce-- And yet refuse when Fortune offers-- Yet Honesty's a Jewel-- But a Pox upon Pride, when Folks go naked--

_Harl._ Well said. [Incouraging him by Signs.

_Feth._ Ay-- I'll do't-- but what Remedy now against Discovery and Rest.i.tution?

_Harl._ Oh, Sir, take no care, you shall-- swallow 'em.

_Feth._ How, swallow 'em! I shall ne'er be able to do't.

_Harl._ I'll shew you, Seignior,'tis easy.

_Feth._ 'Gad that may be, 'twere excellent if I cou'd do't; but first-- by your leave.

[Unties the Necklace, breaks the String, and _Harl._ swallows one to shew him.

_Harl._ Look ye, that's all--

_Feth._ Hold, hold, Seignior, an you be so nimble, I shall pay dear for my Learning-- let me see-- Friend _Nicholas_, thou hast swallow'd many a Pill for the Disease of the Body, let's see what thou canst perform for that of the Purse.

[Swallows 'em.

--so-- a comfortable business this-- three or four thousand pound in Cordial-Pearl: 'Sbud, _Mark Anthony_ was never so treated by his _Egyptian_ Crocodile-- hah, what noise is that?

_Harl._ Operator, Operator, Seignior.

_Feth._ How, an Operator! why, what the Devil makes he here? some Plot upon my Lady's Chast.i.ty; were I given to be jealous now, Danger wou'd ensue-- Oh, he's entring, I would not be seen for all the World. Oh, some place of Refuge-- [Looking about.

_Harl._ I know of none.

_Feth._ Hah, what's this-- a Clock Case?

_Harl._ Good, good-- look you, Sir, do you do thus, and 'tis impossible to discover ye.

[Goes into the Case, and shews him how to stand; then _Fetherfool_ goes in, pulls off his Periwig, his Head out, turning for the Minutes o'th' top: his Hand out, and his Fingers pointing to a Figure.

Enter _Shift_ and _Hunt_.

_Feth._ Oh Heaven, he's here.

_Shift._ See where she sleeps; get you about your business, see your own little Marmoset and the Priest be ready, that we may marry and consummate before Day; and in the Morning our Friends shall see us abed together, give us the good morrow, and the Work's done.

[Ex. _Hunt_.

_Feth._ Oh Traytor to my Bed, what a h.e.l.lish Plot's here discover'd!

[_Shift_ wakes the _Giant_.

_Giant._ Oh, are you come, my Sweetest?

_Feth._ Hah, the Mistress of my Bosom false too! ah, who wou'd trust faithless Beauty-- oh that I durst speak.

_Shift._ Come let's away, your Uncle and the rest of the House are fast asleep, let's away e'er the two Fools, Blunt and Fetherfool, arrive.

_Giant._ Hang 'em, Pigeon-hearted Slaves--

_Shift._ A Clock-- let's see what hour 'tis-- [Lifts up the Light to see, _Feth._ blows it out.

--How! betray'd-- I'll kill the Villain. [Draws.

_Feth._ Say you so, then 'tis time for me to uncase.

_Shift._ Have you your Lovers hid?

[Gets out, all groping in the dark, _Feth._ gets the _Giant_ by the Hand.

_Giant._ Softly, or we're undone; give me your Hand, and be undeceiv'd.

_Feth._ 'Tis she, now shall I be reveng'd. [Leads her out.

_Shift._ What, gone! Death, has this Monster got the Arts of Woman?

[_Harl._ meets him in the dark, and plays tricks with him.

[Ex. all.

Enter _Willmore_ and _La Nuche_ by dark.

_Will._ Now we are safe and free, let's in, my Soul, and gratefully first sacrifice to Love, then to the G.o.ds of Mirth and Wine, my Dear.

[Ex. pa.s.sing over the Stage.

Enter _Blunt_ with _Petronella_, imbracing her, his Sword in his Hand, and a Box of Jewels.

_Pet._ I was d.a.m.nably afraid I was pursu'd. [Aside.

_Blunt._ Something in the Fray I've got, pray Heaven it prove a Prize, after my cursed ill luck of losing my Lady Dwarf: Why do you tremble, fair one?-- you're in the Hands of an honest Gentleman, Adshartlikins.

_Pet._ Alas, Sir, just as I approach! Seignior Doctor's Door, to have my self surrounded with naked Weapons, then to drop with the fear my Casket of Jewels, which had not you by chance stumbled on and taken up, I had lost a hundred thousand Crowns with it.

_Blunt._ Ha um-- a hundred thousand Crowns-- a pretty trifling Sum-- I'll many her out of hand.

[Aside.

_Pet._ This is an _Englishman_, of a dull honest Nation, and might be manag'd to advantage, were but I transform'd now. [Aside.] I hope you are a Man of Honour; Sir, I am a Virgin, fled from the rage of an incens'd Brother; cou'd you but secure me with my Treasure, I wou'd be devoted yours.

_Blunt._ Secure thee! by this Light, sweet Soul, I'll marry thee;-- _Belvile's_ Lady ran just so away with him-- this must be a Prize-- [Aside.] But hark-- prithee, my Dear, step in a little, I'll keep my good Fortune to my self.

_Pet._ See what trust I repose in your Hands, those Jewels, Sir.

_Blunt._ So-- there can be no jilting here, I am secur'd from being cozen'd however.

[Ex. _Pet._

Enter _Fetherfool_.

_Feth._ A Pox on all Fools, I say, and a double Pox on all fighting Fools; just when I had miraculously got my Monster by a mistake in the dark, convey'd her out, and within a moment of marrying her, to have my Friend set upon me, and occasion my losing her, was a Catastrophe which none but thy termagant Courage (which never did any Man good) cou'd have procur'd.

_Blunt._ 'Dshartlikins, I cou'd kill my self.