The Works of Aphra Behn Volume I Part 47

_Giant._ I doubt you'll scarce secure me from that Fear, who court my Fortune, not my Beauty.

_Feth._ Hu, how scornful she is, I'll warrant you-- why I must confess, your Person is something heroical and masculine, but I protest to your Highness, I love and honour ye.

_Dwarf._ Prithee, Sister, be not so coy, I like my Lover well enough; and if Seignior Mountebank keep his Word in making us of reasonable Proportions, I think the Gentlemen may serve for Husbands.

_Shift._ Dissemble, or you betray your Love for us.

[Aside to the Giant.

_Giant._ And if he do keep his Word, I should make a better Choice, not that I would change this n.o.ble Frame of mine, cou'd I but meet my Match, and keep up the first Race of Man intire: But since this scanty World affords none such, I to be happy, must be new created, and then shall expect a wiser Lover.

_Feth._ Why, what a peevish t.i.tt's this; nay, look ye, Madam, as for that matter, your Extraordinariness may do what you please-- but 'tis not done like a Monster of Honour, when a Man has set his Heart upon you, to cast him off-- Therefore I hope you'll pity a despairing Lover, and cast down an Eye of Consolation upon me; for I vow, most Amazonian Princess, I love ye as if Heaven and Earth wou'd come together.

_Dwarf._ My Sister will do much, I'm sure, to save the Man that loves her so pa.s.sionately-- she has a Heart.

_Feth._ And a swinger 'tis-- 'Sbud-- she moves like the Royal Sovereign, and is as long a tacking about.

[Aside.

_Giant._ Then your Religion, Sir.

_Feth._ Nay, as for that, Madam, we are _English_, a Nation I thank G.o.d, that stand as little upon Religion as any Nation under the Sun, unless it be in Contradiction; and at this time have so many amongst us, a Man knows not which to turn his Hand to-- neither will I stand with your Hugeness for a small matter of Faith or so-- Religion shall shall break no squares.

_Dwarf._ I hope, Sir, you are of your Friend's Opinion.

_Blunt._ My little Spark of a Diamond, I am, I was born a _Jew_, with an Aversion to Swines Flesh.

_Dwarf._ Well, Sir, I shall hasten Seignior Doctor to compleat my Beauty, by some small Addition, to appear the more grateful to you.

_Blunt._ Lady, do not trouble your self with transitory Parts, 'Dshartlikins thou'rt as handsom as needs be for a Wife.

_Dwarf._ A little taller, Seignior, wou'd not do amiss, my younger Sister has got so much the Start of me.

_Blunt._ In troth she has, and now I think on't, a little taller wou'd do well for Propagation; I should be both the Posterity of the antient Family of the _Blunts_ of _Ess.e.x_ should dwindle into Pigmies or Fairies.

_Giant._ Well, Seigniors, since you come with our Uncle's liking, we give ye leave to hope, hope-- and be happy-- [They go out with _Harlequin_.

_Feth._ Egad, and that's great and gracious--

Enter _Willmore_ and an Operator.

_Will._ Well, Gentlemen, and how like you the Ladies?

_Blunt._ Faith, well enough for the first Course, Sir.

_Will._ The Uncle, by my indeavour, is intirely yours-- but whilst the Baths are preparing,'twould be well if you would think of what Age, Shape, and Complexion you would have your Ladies form'd in.

_Feth._ Why, may we chuse, Mr. Doctor?

_Will._ What Beauties you please.

_Feth._ Then will I have my Giant, _Ned_, just such another Gentlewoman as I saw at Church to day-- and about some fifteen.

_Blunt._ Hum, fifteen-- I begin to have a plaguy Itch about me too, towards a handsome Damsel of fifteen; but first let's marry, lest they should be boiled away in these Baths of Reformation.

_Feth._ But, Doctor, can you do all this without the help of the Devil?

_Will._ Hum, some small Hand he has in the Business? we make an Exchange with him, give him the clippings of the Giant for so much of his Store as will serve to build the Dwarf.

_Blunt._ Why, then mine will be more than three Parts Devil, Mr. Doctor.

_Will._ Not so, the Stock is only Devil, the Graft is your own little Wife inoculated.

_Blunt._ Well, let the Devil and you agree about this matter as soon as you please.

Enter _Shift_ as an Operator.

_Shift._ Sir, there is without a Person of an extraordinary Size wou'd speak with you.

_Will._ Admit him.

Enter _Harlequin_, ushers in _Hunt_ as a Giant.

_Feth._ Hah-- some o'ergrown Rival, on my Life. [_Feth._ gets from it.

_Will._ What the Devil have we here? [Aside.

_Hunt._ _Bezolos mano's_, Seignior, I understand there is a Lady whose Beauty and Proportion can only merit me: I'll say no more-- but shall be grateful to you for your a.s.sistance.

_Feth._ 'Tis so.

_Hunt._ The Devil's in't if this does not fright 'em from a farther Courtship.

[Aside.

_Will._ Fear nothing, Seignior-- Seignior, you may try your Chance, and visit the Ladies.

[Talks to _Hunt_.

_Feth._ Why, where the Devil could this Monster conceal himself all this while, that we should neither see nor hear of him?

_Blunt._ Oh-- he lay disguis'd; I have heard of an Army that has done so.

_Feth._ Pox, no single House cou'd hold him.

_Blunt._ No-- he dispos'd himself in several parcels up and down the Town, here a Leg, and there an Arm; and hearing of this proper Match for him, put himself together to court his fellow Monster.

_Feth._ Good Lord! I wonder what Religion he's of.

_Blunt._ Some heathen Papist, by his notable Plots and Contrivances.

_Will._ 'Tis _Hunt_, that Rogue-- [Aside.] Sir, I confess there is great Power in Sympathy-- Conduct him to the Ladies-- [He tries to go in at the Door.