The Wooing of Calvin Parks Part 7

A tall, scraggy woman, with pale green eyes seeking each other across a formidable beak, and teeth like a twisted bal.u.s.trade, greeted him with a reproachful look as he drove up to the corner store.

"Good afternoon, Miss Phrony," he said comfortably. "I expect I'm just a mite late, ain't I?"

"I should think you was!" replied the scraggy woman. "I've been waitin'

full two hours, Cap'n Parks."

"Have!" said Calvin affably. "Now ain't that a sight! But it's a good thing you had such pleasant company to wait in; I'm glad of that. How do, Si? how do, Eph?" he nodded to two men who were leaning against the door-posts, chewing straws and observing the universe. "Any trade doin'

with little Calvin to-day?"

"Nothin' only a box of wintergreen lozenges, I guess," said Si, the storekeeper. "Mebbe you might leave another box of broken," he added, after a glance in at his showcase. "Trade hasn't been real smart this week. You ain't goin' to charge me full price for them goods, are you, Cal?"

"If I took off anything," replied Calvin, "'twould be because you were so handsome, and that wouldn't be real good for your disposition, so I expect I shall have to deny myself the pleasure. Three dollars and ninety cents--thank you, sir! Now, Miss Phrony, if you're ready--these your bundles? Why, you've been buyin' out the store, I expect! Let me help you in; up she comes! So long, boys!"

"Think she'll get him?" said Si to Eph, as they watched the wagon disappearing down the road.

"I--don't--know!" replied Si slowly. "Sometimes I think he's as simple as he is appearin', and then again I have my doubts. But one thing's sure; she's goin' to do her darndest towards it!"

CHAPTER VII

MATCH-MAKING

"Cal!" said Mr. Sim.

"Wall!" said Calvin Parks. "That's poetry, Sim, or as nigh to it as you and me are likely to come."

"Quit foolin', Cal! I want to speak to you serious."

"Fire away!" said Calvin, leaning back in his chair and stretching his long legs.

"I want to know what you think of Cousin!" Mr. Sim went on.

Calvin sat up, and drew in his legs.

"She's all right!" he said shortly.

"Of course she's all right!" said Mr. Sim peevishly. "She wouldn't be here if she was all wrong, would she? I want to know what you _think_ of her."

"I think she's a fine-appearin' woman!" said Calvin slowly. "And smart.

And personable. A 1, clipper-built and copper-fastened, is the way I should describe your cousin if she was a vessel."

"You're right, Cal; you're right!" said Mr. Sim. "She's all that and more. She's agreeable, and she's capable, and she's savin', Calvin; savin'. Ma allers said, 'If the time comes when you _have_ to marry, marry a saver!' she'd say."

Calvin said nothing. He felt the honest middle-aged blood mounting in his cheeks, but reflected comfortably that it would not show through the brown.

"Now, Cal," Mr. Sim went on; "a woman like that ain't goin' through life single."

"You bet she ain't!" said Calvin briefly; "you darned old weasel!" he added, but not aloud.

"She ain't no more than forty, and she don't look that. She's well fixed, too; she ain't no need to work, Cousin ain't; she come here to accommodate, you understand."

"I understand!" said Calvin; "you blamed old ferret!" Calvin was fond of finishing his sentences in silence.

"Now what I say is,--" and Mr. Sim leaned forward, and sank his voice to a whisper,--"What I say is, that woman ought not to go out of the family, Calvin Parks!"

Calvin grunted. A grunt may mean anything, and Mr. Sim took it for a.s.sent.

"Jes' so! That's what I'm sayin'. I knew you'd see it that way. Now, Calvin, I want you to help us."

A spark came into Calvin's brown eyes. "Help you!" he repeated. "What's the matter? Ain't you old enough to speak for yourself?"

"Not for myself, Calvin!" cried Mr. Sim. "No, no, no! for Sam'l! for Sam'l!"

"Well, I am blowed!" said Calvin Parks.

Mr. Sim leaned forward anxiously. "Don't you see, Cal?" he cried. "I ain't a marryin' man; that's plain to be seen. Sam'l was allers the one for the gals, you know he was. You remember Ivy Bell?"

Calvin nodded.

"Well, that's the way of it!" Mr. Sim continued. "His mind allers run that way; mine didn't. Besides, I ain't a well man; I ain't in no shape to marry, Calvin, no way in the world, if I wanted to, and I don't. Now, Calvin, I want you to kind of urge Sam'l on. We ain't speakin', Sam'l and me, you know that. I told you how 'twas, fust time you come round.

Nothin' agin one another, only we don't like. So I can't urge him myself; and fust thing we know some outlandishman or other'll step in and kerry her off, and then where should we be, Sam'l and me? I ask you that, Calvin Parks. We're gettin' on, you know, Cal; we're five years good older than what you be, and we couldn't abide hired help, no way in the world. You urge Sam'l on to speak to Cousin, won't you now? I'd take it real friendly of you, Cal. I allers thought a sight of you, and so did Ma. 'Twould please Ma if you got a good woman for Sam'l, Cal. Say you'll think about it!"

"I'll think about it!" said Calvin Parks.

An hour later, Calvin was out in the barnyard, leaning over the pigsty, and looking at the finest hogs in the county. Mr. Sam p.r.o.nounced them so, and he ought to know, Calvin thought. Calvin had never cared for hogs himself.

"You see them hawgs," said Mr. Sam with squeaking enthusiasm, "and you see the best there is. Take 'em for looks, or heft, or eatin', there's no hawgs can touch 'em in this county. I'll go further and say State.

They're a _lovely_ hawg, sir! that's what they are; lovely!"

"All black, be they?" asked Calvin, for the sake of saying something.

"All black!" said Mr. Sam. "I bought 'em off'n Reuben Hutch. They was Cousin's choice in the fust place. She likes 'em black; says they look cleaner, and I guess they do. I don't know as you've remarked it, Cal, but I think a sight of Cousin."

He cast a sly glance at Calvin, who again returned inward thanks for the solid brown of his cheeks.

"I should s'pose you might!" he said shortly.

"A sight!" repeated Mr. Sam emphatically. "You show me a smarter woman than that, Calvin Parks, and I'll show you a toad with three tails."

He paused, as if waiting for Calvin to avail himself of this handsome offer.

"Well!" said Calvin, rather morosely. "I ain't got no smarter woman to show. What are you drivin' at, Sam Sill?"