The Willoughby Captains Part 38

"Sulphuretted hydrogen," said Cusack, briskly. "First of all you take a--"

"Oh, shut up shop! We don't want a chemistry lecture," broke in Parson.

There was a brief pause, then Philpot asked, "I say, is it true then, there's not going to be a new race?"

"Of course not," said Parson; "what's the use when we can't be sure of fair play?"

"Jolly right too," said Cusack, delighted to agree with his old enemy for once; "those schoolhouse cads are cheats, every one of them?"

"All right!" exclaimed Telson jumping up; "I'll fight you, young Cusack, for that!"

Cusack was somewhat taken aback by this unexpected outbreak, but was inclined, nevertheless, to accept the challenge. Parson, however, interfered peremptorily.

"Look here," he said, "we're in quite enough row for one day, without wanting any more. So shut up, you fellows, do you hear?"

"Make him apologise, then," said Telson, wrathfully.

"Oh, all serene. n.o.body was hurting you," said Cusack.

"Do you apologise, or do you not?" demanded Telson.

"I didn't say I didn't, did I?"

This was as much as the irascible schoolhouse f.a.g could expect, so he sat down again.

"You know," said Pilbury, anxious to make things _quite_ pleasant again, "a lot of the fellows say the schoolhouse would have won in any case."

"I'd like to know who says that," demanded Parson, whose turn it now was to be angry.

"Oh, everybody in our house. They looked like winning, you know, from the very start, didn't they, Pil?"

"Yes, a lot you and your friend Pil know about rowing," sneered Parson.

"Know as much as you do!"

"Pity if you know such a lot you can't put a boat on the river."

"I tell you what we'll do," said Cusack. "Pil and I will row any two of your lot; there now. Funk it, eh?"

Parson looked hard at the speaker, and then glanced at Telson. Telson glanced back at Parson, and then eyed the Welchers grimly.

"You'd promise fair play?" asked Parson.

"Of course we would; we always do."

"You'd _give_ us fair play, then?" demanded Parson.

"Yes, honour bright."

"All serene. Telson and I will row you; eh, Telson?"

"Rather!" said Telson, "and give them a start too."

"All very well, you fellows," said King, "but suppose we're all expelled to-morrow."

This unpleasant suggestion took away most of the interest in the proposed race, and it was decided to defer further arrangements till the fate of the parties should be decided.

After this the party waited gloomily till seven o'clock came, and then, in decidedly low spirits, rose in a body and repaired to Mr Parrett's study.

Had they been aware of the actual state of that amiable athlete's mind from the moment they last saw him, handkerchief in mouth, hurrying down the pa.s.sage, till now, their trepidation would have been considerably relieved. The first thing Mr Parrett had done on regaining his room after that "bad quarter of an hour" with his juniors was to throw himself into a chair and laugh heartily.

The fact was, his sense of humour was inconveniently acute for the master of a public school, so that what would strike other masters as a heinous offence, occurred to him more as a ludicrous chapter of accidents. And to Mr Parrett's mind a more ludicrous chapter of accidents had rarely occurred in his history. He saw the whole matter at once, and the more he thought about it the funnier it all seemed.

And yet, funny as it was, it was a painful necessity that discipline must be maintained, and that however much he enjoyed the joke he must be severe on the jokers.

When, therefore, the group of youthful culprits slowly filed into his room, his voice was stern and his countenance betrayed no symptoms of the amus.e.m.e.nt which lurked beneath.

"Now, you boys," said he, surveying the anxious array carefully, "what have you to say for yourselves?"

"Please, sir," began Parson, Telson, and Cusack, all at a breath.

"Stop," said Mr Parrett; "only one at a time. You, Parson, what have you to say?"

"Please, sir," said Parson, "we're all awfully sorry. It was quite an accident, really."

"What was an accident?" demanded Mr Parrett.

"Why, you getting mauled about like--"

"Tell me, Parson," said Mr Parrett, pinching himself to keep himself grave, "was it an accident that your water-can was hung over the door and the string stretched across the bottom of it?"

"Oh no, sir; not that, but--"

"Was it an accident that you had missiles in your hands and threw them in the direction of the door as it was opened?"

"No, sir."

"Then, sir, what was the accident?"

"You were the accident, please, sir," said Parson, sadly.

"I guessed so. And for whom were these preparations intended, pray?"

"For the Welchers, sir," began Parson, longing to launch out into a full explanation; "and please, sir--"

But again the master pulled him up short, and, turning to Cusack and his brother Welchers, said, "And you--_your_ preparations were for--?"

"For the Parretts, sir," broke in Cusack.