The Willoughby Captains Part 14

"Oh!" said Wyndham, who had been one of the combatants, "he gave Watkins and Cattermole a hiding, and swore he'd allow no removes from the Limpets' eleven to the school second this term if there was any more row."

This reply by no means added to Riddell's comfort.

"Gave Cattermole and Watkins a hiding." Fancy _his_ attempting to give Cattermole and Watkins a hiding! And not only that, he had held out some awful threat about Limpets' cricket, which appeared to have a magical effect.

Fancy the effect of _his_ threatening to exclude a Limpet from the second-eleven--when it was all he knew that the school had a second- eleven!

The difficulties and perplexities which had loomed before him in the morning were closing around him now in grim earnest! The worst he had feared had happened, and more than the worst. It was now proved beyond all doubt that he was utterly incompetent. Would it not be sheer madness in him to attempt this impossible task a day longer?

The reader has no doubt asked the same question long ago. Of _course_ it's madness of him to attempt it. A m.u.f.f like Riddell never _could_ be captain of a school, and it's all bosh to suppose he could be. But, my dear reader, a m.u.f.f like Riddell _was_ the captain of a school; and what's more he didn't give it up even after the day's adventures just described.

Riddell was not perfect. I know it is an unheard-of thing for a good boy in a story-book not to be perfect, and that is one reason which convinces me this story of mine must be an impossible one. Riddell was not perfect. He had a fault. Can you believe it--he had many faults?

He even had a besetting sin, and that besetting sin was pride. Not the sort of pride that makes you consider yourself better than your neighbours. Riddell really couldn't think that even had he wished it.

But his pride was of that kind which won't admit of anybody to help it, which would sooner knock its head to bits against a stone wall than own it can't get through it, and which can never bring itself to say "I am beaten," even when it is clear to all the world it is beaten.

Pride had had a fall this day at any rate; but it had risen again more stubborn than ever; and if Riddell went to bed that night the most unhappy boy in Willoughby, he went there also resolving more than ever to remain its captain.

Other events had happened that day which, one might suppose, should have convinced him he was attempting an impossibility. But these must be reserved for the next chapter.

CHAPTER EIGHT.

THE WILLOUGHBY PARLIAMENT IN SESSION.

The "Parliament" at Willoughby was one of the very old inst.i.tutions of the school. Old, white-headed Willoughbites, when talking of their remote schooldays, would often recall their exploits "on the floor of the house," when Pilligrew (now a Cabinet Minister) brought in his famous bill to abolish morning chapel in winter, and was opposed by Jilson (now Amba.s.sador to the Court at Whereisit) in a speech two hours long; or when old Coates (a grandfather, by the way, of the present bearer of that name in the school) divided the house fifteen times in one afternoon on the question of presenting a requisition to the head master to put more treacle into the suet puddings! They were exciting days, and the custom had gone on flourishing up to the present.

The Willoughby Parliament was an inst.i.tution which the masters of the school wisely connived at, while holding aloof themselves from its proceedings. There was no restraint as to the questions to be discussed or the manner and time of the discussion, provided the rules of the school were not infringed. The management was entirely in the hands of the boys, who elected their own officers, and paid sixpence a term for the privilege of a seat in the august a.s.sembly.

The proceedings were regulated by certain rules handed down by long tradition according to which the business of the House was modelled as closely as possible on the procedure of the House of Commons itself.

Every boy was supposed to represent some place or other, and marvellous was the scouring of atlases and geography books to discover const.i.tuencies for the young members. There was a Government and an Opposition, of course, only in the case of the former the "Ministers"

were elected by the votes of the whole a.s.sembly, at the beginning of each session. They were designated by the t.i.tles of their office.

There was a Premier and a Home Secretary, and a First Lord of the Admiralty, and so on, and great was the pride of a Willoughbite when he first heard himself referred to as the Right Honourable!

Everything that came before the house had to come in the form of a bill or a resolution. Any one anxious to bring up a subject (and there was nothing to prevent the junior f.a.g bringing in a bill if he liked) usually handed in his motion early in the session, so as to stand a good chance of getting a date for his discussion. Later on, when more subjects were handed in than there were evenings to debate them, the order was decided by ballot, and due notice given every Friday of the business for the next evening.

Another feature of these meetings was, of course, the questions. Any one was ent.i.tled to question the "Government" on matters affecting the school, and the putting and answering of these questions was usually the most entertaining part of an evening's business. Naturally enough, it was not always easy to decide to whose department many of the questions asked belonged, but tradition had settled this to some extent. The Home Secretary had to answer questions about the monitors, the First Lord of the Admiralty about the boats, the Secretary of State for War about fights, and so on, while more doubtful questions were usually first asked of the Premier, who, if he didn't find it convenient to answer them, was ent.i.tled to refer the inquirer to some other member of the Government.

It need hardly be said that the meetings of the Willoughby Parliament were occasionally more noisy than dignified, and yet there existed a certain sense of order and respect for the "authority of the House"

which held the members in check, and prevented the meetings from degenerating into riots. Another reason for the same result existed in the doctor, who sanctioned the Parliament only as long as it was conducted in an orderly manner, and did not offend against the rules of the school. And a final and more terrible reason still was in the fact that the House had the power of expelling a member who was generally obnoxious.

The session at Willoughby always opened on the Sat.u.r.day after the May sports, and notice had been duly given that Parliament would a.s.semble this year on the usual date, and that the first business would be the election of a Speaker and a Government.

The reader will easily understand that, under present circ.u.mstances, an unusual amount of interest and curiosity centred in the opening meeting of the school senate, and at the hour of meeting the big dining-hall, arranged after the model of the great House of Commons, was, in spite of the fact that it was a summer evening, densely packed by an excited a.s.sembly of members.

Most of the boys as they entered had stopped a moment to read the "order paper," which was displayed in a prominent place beside the door. It was crowned with notices, the first three of which gave a good idea of the prospect of a lively evening.

1. "That the captain of the school be elected Speaker of this House."

Proposed by T. Fairbairn; seconded by E. Coates.

2. "That Mr Bloomfield be elected Speaker of this House." Proposed by G. Game; seconded by R. Ashley.

3. "That Francis Cusack, Esquire, member for the Isle of Wight, be elected Speaker of this House." Proposed, A. Pilbury, Esquire; seconded, L. Philpot, Esq.

The humour of the last notice was eclipsed by the seriousness of the other two. It had always been taken for granted that the captain of Willoughby was also the Speaker of the House, and a contested election for that office was without precedent. Now, however, the old rule was to be challenged; and as the members waited for the clock to strike six they discussed the coming contest among themselves with a solemnity which could hardly have been surpa.s.sed in Westminster itself.

The clock sounded at last; every one was in his place. The seniors sat ranged on the front benches on either side of the table, and the others crowded the benches behind them, impatiently waiting for the proceedings to commence.

According to custom, Riddell, as captain of the school, rose, and briefly proposed, "That Mr Isaacs, Senior Limpet, be requested to preside until after the election of a Speaker."

The appearance of the captain to move this resolution had always been the signal for a loud ovation from the House. But this year the cheers were confined to a very small cl.u.s.ter of schoolhouse boys, and died away languidly in the general silence which prevailed elsewhere. Riddell's motion being seconded and carried, Mr Isaacs, a pallid unintelligent- looking Limpet, rose and advanced to the chair at the end of the table usually occupied by the Chairman of Committees, and, knocking with a hammer once or twice, demanded silence. This being secured, he called out, "Mr Fairbairn!" and sat down.

Fairbairn's speech was brief and to the point.

"I beg to move that the captain of the school be elected Speaker of this House. I don't know that I need say anything in support of this."

("Oh, oh!" from a voice opposite.) "The captain always has been Speaker, and Mr Riddell has already taken an active part in the business of the house and knows what the Speaker's duties are. We all miss old Wyndham,"--(loud cheers)--"but I'm sure Riddell will be a worthy successor to him in the chair of this House."

Coates having said, "I beg to second the motion," Mr Isaacs put it to the meeting, and asked if there was any amendment. Whereupon Game rose, amid loud cheers from all quarters.

Game, as has already been said, was an honest fellow. He meant what he said, and generally said what he meant. He was fully convinced in his own mind that Willoughby would go to the dogs under the new captain, and therefore if Riddell had been his own twin-brother he would have protested against him all the same.

"I beg to move an amendment," he said, "and it is this: That Mr Bloomfield be appointed Speaker of this House instead of Mr Riddell."

(It will be noticed by the way that when Willoughby sat in Parliament everybody was "Mr") "And the reason I do so is because I consider Mr Bloomfield ought to be captain of the school instead of Mr Riddell.

(Loud Parrett cheers.) I've nothing to say against Mr Riddell--(cheers from the schoolhouse)--except that I don't consider he's the right man in the right place. (Great applause.) He's been made captain against our wishes,"--("Hear, hear," and "Oh, oh!")--"and we can't help it. But we're not obliged to have him captain here, and what's more, we don't mean to! (Terrific cheers, especially from the juniors.) Mr Bloomfield's our man. Only to-day he stopped a row in the Fourth in two minutes which Mr Riddell couldn't have stopped if he'd stayed till now." (Laughter, and cries of "Give him a clothes-brush!") "The fellows all look up to Mr Bloomfield. He ran grandly for the school at the sports the other day, and licked the London fellow. (Here the enthusiasm became positively deafening.) What's Mr Riddell done for the school? I should like to know. We want a fellow who has done something for the school, and, I repeat, Mr Bloomfield's our man, and I hope you'll elect him Speaker."

Game sat down amidst a tempest of applause, which brought a flush of pleasure even to his serious face.

Many curious eyes were turned to Riddell to see the effect of this uncomplimentary oration upon him.

At first he had looked nervous and uncomfortable, and had even whispered to Fairbairn, who sat next him, "Don't you think I'd better go?"

"For goodness' sake, no!" exclaimed Fairbairn. "Don't be a fool, Riddell."

The caution had its weight. Riddell saw he must brave it out; and that being settled, he felt more comfortable, and listened to all the unpleasant things that were said in a composed manner which greatly perplexed his adversaries.

Ashley, who seconded Game's motion, was hardly so fortunate in his remarks as his predecessor.

"I second the motion, gentlemen," he said. "It's time we made a stand against this sort of thing." ("What sort of thing?" from voices on the schoolhouse side.) "Why, schoolhouse tyranny. (Frantic Parrett cheers.) Why is the whole credit of Willoughby to be sacrificed for the sake of your precious schoolhouse?" ("Question!" "Order!" drowned by renewed cheers.) "Why, just because he's a schoolhouse fellow, is a m.u.f.f to be stuck over us? and just because he's a Parrett's fellow, is a splendid fellow like Mr Bloomfield to be snubbed in the face of the whole school? (Loud cheers.) It's time Willoughby found out that Parrett is the c.o.c.k house of the school." ("Oh! oh!" from the Welchers.) "It's got the best men in it. (Parrett cheers.) It's head of the river." ("Oh no, not yet," from Fairbairn.) "Well, it will be very soon. It's ahead in everything." ("Except intelligence," from Crossfield.) "No, I don't even except intelligence. (Loud cheers from Bosher, and laughter.) And, as a sign of its intelligence, I beg to second the motion."

This abrupt and somewhat vague termination to Ashley's spirited address did not detract from the applause with which it was greeted by his own partisans, or from the wrath with which it was received by the schoolhouse boys.

The moment he sat down Crossfield sprang to his feet. This was the signal for loud schoolhouse cheers, and for general attention from all quarters, for Crossfield usually had something to say worth listening to.

"Mr Limpet, sir,"--(loud laughter; Isaacs, who had been drawing n.i.g.g.e.rs on the paper before him, started, and blushed very much to find himself thus appealed to)--"I am sure we are all much obliged to the honourable member who has just sat down for the `sign of intelligence' he has just favoured us with. (Laughter.) We've been looking for it for a long time--(laughter)--and it's come at last! (Cheers and laughter.) Sir, it would be a great pity to let such an occasion pa.s.s without notice.

I'm not sure that the doctor might not think it worth a half-holiday. A sign of intelligence from the hon. gentleman! And what is the sign, sir? (Laughter.) The hon. member seconds the motion." ("Hear, hear!"

from Parrett's.) "Gentlemen of the same party say `Hear, hear!' as much as to say, `We, too, show signs of intelligence!' Do you really, gentlemen? I could not have believed it. (Loud laughter.) Why does he second the motion? Because he's a Parrett's boy, and Mr Bloomfield is a Parrett's boy, and all Parrett's boys say a Parrett's boy ought to be the head of the school! Gentlemen, parrots aren't always to be trusted, even when they show signs of intelligence! (Cheers and laughter.) Don't you believe all a parrot tells you about parrots. (Laughter.) I prefer the arguments of the gentleman who moved the amendment. He says he doesn't think Mr Riddell is fit to be captain. (Cheers.) I agree with him--(tremendous Parrett's cheers, and consternation of schoolhouse)--I don't think Mr Riddell is fit to be captain. He doesn't think so himself." ("Hear, hear!" from Riddell, and laughter.) "But the gentleman says Mr Bloomfield is the man. (Loud cheers.) I don't agree with that at all. Mr Riddell knows very little about sports, though I do hear he was seen c.o.xing a schoolhouse boat this morning. (Derisive cheers.) Mr Bloomfield knows almost as little about cla.s.sics! (Loud laughter from the schoolhouse.) Why, gentlemen, do you mean to say you think a fellow who couldn't translate `Balbus hopped over a wall' without looking up three words in a lexicon is fit to be a Willoughby captain?" (Laughter from the juniors, and cries of "Time!" from Parretts.) "I say not. Even though he's a Parrett's boy, and therefore can show a sign of intelligence! (Laughter.) No; what I say is, whether we believe in him or not, Mr Riddell is captain; and until you can show me a less bad one, I'll vote for him."

This oration, delivered with great animation and amidst constant laughter, helped to put the meeting in rather better humour, all except the Parrett's fellows, who did not enjoy it at all.