The White Wolf and Other Fireside Tales - novelonlinefull.com
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For this was what had happened: as he entered his lodgings and closed the front door, the letter-box behind it fell open and he saw a sealed envelope lying inside. He picked it out and read the address.
"Mrs. Wilc.o.x!" he called down the pa.s.sage. "When did this come?"
Mrs. Wilc.o.x, appearing at the kitchen door and wiping her hands, could not tell. The midday post or else the three o'clock. There were no others. Come to think of it, she had heard a postman's knock when she was dishing up the dinner, but had supposed it to be next door.
It sounded like next door.
Gilbart took the letter upstairs with him. The address was in Casey's handwriting. "Queer fellow, Casey." He broke the seal in the little bay window. "Just like him, though, to shake hands yesterday without a spark of feeling, and then send his good-byes to reach me after he was well on his way." He drew out the inclosure, unfolded it, and saw that the paper bore the printed address of the Sailors' Home where Casey dossed when ash.o.r.e, and where writing-paper was supplied gratis.
"Couldn't have come ash.o.r.e after I left him: he'd paid his bill at the Rest and his bag was aboard. Must have had this in his pocket all the time; might just as well have handed it to me--with instructions not to open it--and saved the stamp. What a secretive old chap it is!"
He held the letter close to his eyes in the waning daylight.
"DEAR JOHN,--By the time this reaches you we shall have started; and by then, or a little later, I shall have gone and the Berenice with me. If you ask where, I don't know; but it is where we shall never meet.
"You serve your country in your own way. I am going to serve mine.
Perhaps I shall also be serving yours; for it is only by striking terribly and without warning that the brave men in this world can get even with the cowards who make its laws.
"One thing I envy you--you'll be alive to see the rage of the sheep.
I am playing this hand alone and without help. So when your silly newspapers begin to cry out about secret societies, _you will know_. I never belonged to one in my life.
"I think I am sorriest about the way you'll think of me. But that makes no real difference, because I know it to be foolish. I have the stuff on board and the little machine. I cannot fix the time to an hour up or down; but you may take it for sure that _some time between 10 p.m. and midnight the_ Berenice _will be at the bottom of the sea_ with
"Yours, P. C."
While John Gilbart read this there was silence in the stuffy little room, and for some minutes after. Then he stepped to the mantelpiece for the match-box and candle. A small ormolu clock ticked there, and while he groped for the matches he put out a hand to stop the noise, which had suddenly grown intolerable. He desisted, remembering that he did not know how the clock worked--that Mrs. Wilc.o.x, who wound it up religiously on Monday mornings, was proud of it, and--anyway, _that_ wasn't the machine he wanted to stop. He found a match, lit it and held it close to the letter.
The match burned low, scorched his fingers. He dropped it in the fender, where it flickered out, just missing the "waterfall" of shavings with which Mrs. Wilc.o.x decorated her fireplace in the summer months.
He did not light another, but went back to the window and stood there, quite still.
Down the street to the westward, over the wet roofs still glimmering in the twilight, one pale green rift divided the heavy clouds, and in that rift the last of the daylight was dying. Across the way, in the house facing him, a woman was lighting a lamp. As a rule the inhabitants of Prospect Place did not draw the blinds of their upper rooms until they closed the shutters also and went to bed: and Gilbart looked straight into the little parlour. But he saw nothing.
He was trying--vainly trying--to bring his mind to it. Nothing really big had happened to him before: and his first feeling, characteristically selfish, was that this terrible thing had risen up to alter all the rest of his life. He must disentangle himself, get away to a distance and have a look at it. His brain was buzzing. Yes, there it rose, like a black wall between this moment and all the hours to come; a brute barrier stretching clean across the prospect. Again and again he brought his mind up to it as you might coax a horse up to a fence; again and again it refused. Each time in the last few steps his heart froze, extending its chill until every separate faculty hung back springless and inert. And there was no getting round!
Why had this happened to _him_ of all people? It never for a moment occurred to him to doubt Casey's word. He saw it now; hideous as the deed was, Casey was capable of it--had always been capable of it.
Let it go for a miserable tribute to Casey's honesty in the past that Gilbart accepted the infernal statement at once and without suspicion.
He knew now that from the bottom of their intercourse this candid devil had been grinning up at him all the time; only his own cowardly, comfortable habit of seeing the world as he wished it had kept his eyes turned from the truth. Men don't as a rule commit crimes; not one man in millions translates himself into a crime of this sort; the odds against his daring it are only to be told in millions. Yet it had happened. Man or devil, Casey never paltered with his creed; if the world differed from him, then it was Casey against the world; a hopeless business for him, yet he would get in a blow if possible. And Casey had got in his blow. The incredible had happened; but (Gilbart groaned) why had it happened to _him?_ In his stupefaction he returned again and again upon this, catching in the flood at that one little straw of self; not inhumanly, as callous to the ruin of others; but pitifully, meanly, because it was the one thing familiar in the roar and din. He cursed Casey; cursed him for betraying his friendship. The man had no right-- He pulled up suddenly, with a laugh. After all, Casey had played the game, had faced the music, and would go down with the _Berenice_.
One soul against three hundred and fifty, perhaps; not what you would call atonement; but, after all, the best he had to offer. Wonder how many Samson pulled down with him at Gaza? Wonder if the Bible says?
"Beg pardon, Mr. Gilbart?"
It was Mrs. Wilc.o.x standing in the doorway with his tea on a tray.
"It--it was nothing," he stammered. She must have heard his laugh.
"Talking to yourself? I often hear you at it over your sermons and things; sometimes at your dressing, too; I hears you when I'm in here doing up the room. You'd like the lamp lit, I suppose?" She set down the tray.
"Not just yet."
"Well, it's a bad habit, reading with your meals."
"It's not worth while to bring a lamp. I must drink my tea in a hurry, and run out. I have an engagement."
He heard her go out and close the door. "Casey had no right. It was a betrayal. If the man were bent on this infernal crime--put the atrocity of it aside for a moment--call it just an ordinary crime; . . . but why need he have written that letter? Why involve _him?_ Well, not involve, perhaps; still there was a kind of responsibility--"
His eyes had been fastened on the little parlour across the road.
The woman after lighting the lamp had set it in the centre of a round table and left the room. Between this table and the hearth an old man sat in an arm-chair, smoking his pipe and reading a newspaper. The back of the chair was turned toward the window, but over it Gilbart could see the crown of a grey head and small, steady puffs of smoke ascending between it and the upper edge of the paper. A light appeared in the room above; the light of a candle behind the drawn blind. It lasted there perhaps for ten minutes, and once the woman's shadow moved across the blind.
The light went out, and after a minute or two the woman reappeared in the parlour. She carried a work-basket, and after speaking a word with the old man in the chair she set the basket down on the table, drew up a chair and began to darn a child's stocking. Now and then she looked up as if listening for some sound or movement in the room overhead, but after a moment or two began to ply her needle again. The needle moved more slowly--stopped--she bowed her head over the stocking.
Gilbart knew why. She was the wife of a petty officer on the _Berenice_. The old man in the chair went on reading.
All this while a light had been growing in Gilbart's brain, and now he saw. In this street, and the next, and the next, lived scores who had sons, husbands, brothers on board the _Berenice_; thin walls of brick and plaster dividing to-night their sore hearts and their prayers; a whole town with its hopes and its happy days given into keeping of one ship; not its love only but its trust for life's smallest comforts following her as she moved away through the darkness. And he alone knew! He had only to throw open the window--to fling four words into that silent street--to shout, "The _Berenice_ is lost!"--and with the breath of it windows would fly open, part.i.tions fall down, and all those privacies meet and answer in one terrible outcry. He put up a hand to thrust it away--this awful gift of power. He would have none of it; he was unfit. "Oh, my G.o.d!"--it was he, not Casey, who held the real infernal machine. It was here, not in the _Berenice_, that the levin must fall; and he, John Gilbart, held it in his fingers. "Oh, my G.o.d, I am unfit--thrust not this upon me!"
But there was no escape. He must take his hat and run--run to the Port Admiral. The errand was useless, he knew; for all the while at the back of his soul's confusion some practical corners of his brain had been working at the problem of time--was there time to follow and prevent?
There was not. He knew the _Berenice's_ natural speed to be eighteen knots. Put it at sixteen, fifteen even; still not the fastest destroyer in the port--following in a bee-line--could overtake her by midnight.
And there might be, must be, delays. Yet G.o.d, too, might interfere; some providential accident might delay the cruise. _He_ must run, at any rate. He picked up his hat and ran.
Now that he was taking action--doing something--the worst horror of responsibility left him for a while; he seemed to have cast some of it already off his own shoulders and on to the Admiral's. As he ran he found time to think of Casey. Casey was doing this thing--not in hatred or in villainy for gain--but because it seemed to him right--right, or at least necessary. Casey was laying down his own life in the deed.
How could man, framed in G.o.d's image, expect ultimate good out of devilish cruelty? Yet from the world's beginning men had murdered and tortured each other on this only plea; had butchered women and the very babes; had stamped upon G.o.d's image and--marvel of marvels--for its soul's salvation, not for their own advantage. At every stride Gilbart felt his moral footing, trusted for years without question, cracking and crumbling and swirling away in blocks. Red flames leapt into the fissures and filled them. The end of the world had surely come; but--he must run to the Admiral! He kept that uppermost in his mind, and ran.
The windows of the Admiralty House blazed with light. The Admiral's wife was giving a dinner and a dance, and already a small crowd had gathered to see the earlier guests arrive. The sight dashed Gilbart.
Suddenly he remembered that the letter had reached him by the afternoon post. It was now half-past seven, and he would have to explain the interval; for of course the Admiral would suspect the whole story at first. Gilbart knew the official manner; he had been privileged to study the fine flower of it in this particular Admiral one afternoon six months before, when the great man had condescended to sit on the platform at the Mission anniversary. "Tut, tut--a stupid practical joke "--that would be the beginning; and then would follow cross-examination in the coldest court-martial fashion. Well, he could explain; but it would be just as well to have the story pat beforehand.
One minute--ten minutes went by. Cabs rattled up and private carriages; officers in glittering uniforms, ladies m.u.f.fled in silk and swansdown stepped past the policeman behind whom Gilbart hesitated. This would never do; better he had gone in with the story hot on his lips.
He twitched the policeman's elbow.
"May I pa.s.s, please? I want to see the Admiral."
"That's likely, ain't it?"
"But I have a message for him; an urgent one--one that won't keep a moment!"
"Why, I have seen you hanging round here this quarter hour with these very eyes! 'Won't keep'? Here, you get out!"
"I tell you--"
"Oh, deliver us!" the policeman interrupted. "What's the matter with you? Come to keep the Admiral's dinner cold while you hand over command of the Channel Fleet?" He winked heavily at one or two of the nearest in the crowd, and they laughed.
Gilbart eyed them savagely. He had a word in his mouth which would stop their laughing; and for one irrational moment he was near speaking it, near launching against half a dozen loafers the bolt which only to hold and handle had aged him ten years in an hour. The word was even on his tongue when a carriage pa.s.sed and at its open window a young girl leaned forward and looked out on the crowd. Her face in the light of the entrance-lamp was exquisitely fair, delicately rose and white as the curved inner lip of a sea-sh.e.l.l. At her throat, where her cloak-collar fell back a little, showing its quilted lining of pale blue satin, a diamond necklace shimmered, and a rosebud of diamonds in her hair sparkled so that it seemed to dance. It caught Gilbart's eye, and somehow it seemed to lift and remove her and the house she was entering--the lit windows, the guests, the Admiral himself--into another world. If it were real, then (like enough) this fragile thing, this Dresden G.o.ddess, owned a brother, perhaps a lover, on board the _Berenice_. If so, here was another world waiting to be shattered--a world of silks and toys and pretty uniforms and tiny bric-a-brac--a sort of doll's house inhabited by angels at play. But could it be real?
Could such a world exist and be liable as his own to _It_? Could the same brutal touch destroy this fabric and the sordid privacies of Prospect Place--all in a run like a row of card-houses?
"Never you mind _'im_, Mister Gilbart," said a voice at his elbow, and he turned and looked in the face of a girl who, in an interval of dressmaking, had once helped him with his district work.
"Him?"
"The peeler," Milly Sanders nodded; and it flashed on Gilbart that the policeman's joke, the carriage, the girl's face and these thoughts of his had all gone by in something less than ten seconds. "He've got the 'ump to-night, that's what's the matter with 'im." And Milly Sanders nodded again rea.s.suringly.
"What are you doing here?" Gilbart asked.
"Me? Oh, it's in the way of business, as you might say. I comes here to pick up 'ints. I s'pose now you thought 'twasn't very feelin'-'earted, and my d.i.c.k gone away foreign only this mornin'?"