The Whale and the Grasshopper Part 24

"'Yes, I did,' ses he.

"'There must be a finch or a canary in the family then,' ses I.

"'Maybe both,' ses he.

"'How does he sing?' ses I.

"'Sing!' ses he. 'Why, he never stops singing at all, only when the twilight fades and the darkness comes from east and west, and north and south, and the blackness of the night covers up the hills and the valleys, the trees and the rivers, and the streams and the houses themselves,' ses he.

"'He must be a wonder,' ses I.

"'A wonder he is surely,' ses he. 'He starts at five o'clock in the morning and sings all day.'

"'If that's so,' ses I, 'I'll be outside your door with my ear to the keyhole at quarter to five, so that I can't miss the first note to break the silence and tell us that day is come.'

"'And herself is going to stay up all night, lest she might miss even the flutter of his wings, when he wakes from his sleep,' ses Lareen.

"Well, when the morrow came, I was at Lareen's door at the peep o'

day, listening to the sweetest music that was ever heard in town or city, in lonely glen or by the cobbled seash.o.r.e when the storm does be raging and huge breakers dash themselves to pieces on the treacherous rocks. Wonderful indeed was the song of the linnet with the crown of gold, and musicians came from all parts of the world to hear him, and all listened with great attention and took down in a book each note as he uttered it. And when they returned home, they made operas, oratorios, and symphonies from the melodies they heard in Lareen's kitchen. And selections were made for the violin, 'cello, and organ, and played at cla.s.sical concerts where the well-fed fashionable people, who have no more love for art or music than a tinker's donkey, pay for being bored to death. And thus it was that the fame of Lareen's linnet grew until the King of Spain heard all about him, and immediately he sailed away from the sh.o.r.es of his native country with more money in his pocket than all the kings of Europe could earn in ten thousand years. And when, after a weary journey, he found himself seated by the fire talking to Lareen, all of a sudden he up and ses: 'Lareen,'

ses he, 'I'll give you a golden guinea for every mistake you have made since you came to the use of reason, if you will give me the linnet with the crown of gold,' ses he.

"'And did you accept his offer?' ses I.

"'No, I did not,' ses he.

"'You d.a.m.n fool,' ses I. 'Sure, if you only got a half sovereign inself for every mistake you made since you were born, you would have been made a millionaire on the spot.'

"'And how do you know I have made so many mistakes?' ses he.

"'Why, you omadhaun,' ses I, 'don't you know as yet that nearly everything we do is some kind of a mistake or other, but we don't know it until we are told so by some one else?'

"'I do not,' ses he. 'And I am just as well pleased that I don't.'

"'And what did the king say when he heard your refusal?' ses I.

"He took out his handkerchief and began to cry, and then ses he: 'I will give you your choice of a wife, and I will give you your own way as long as you can stand it, if you will give me the linnet, and I will make you a Knight of the Spade and Turnip besides.'

"'Thank you kindly,' ses Lareen. 'But, not for all the women that ever made fools of their husbands would I part with the linnet with the crown of gold.'

"So the king sailed away that night with sadness in his heart and tears in his eyes, and 'twas said that he was never heard whistling anything till the day he died but the song of the linnet with the crown of gold.

"And then the King of Prussia came and ses to Lareen: 'There's going to be a great war one day,' ses he, 'and if you will give me the linnet with the golden crown, I will give you half of France, the whole of Belgium, and maybe the Tower of London as well, when the war is over.'

"'Don't count your chickens before they are hatched,' ses Lareen, 'and remember the gentleman who went to live on St. Helena after the battle of Waterloo.'

"'Oh, the spalpeen!' ses he. 'He was bound to be caught anyway, because he overestimated his own importance.'

"'Just like a good many more people who don't know it,' ses Lareen.

"'So you won't give me the linnet?' ses the king.

"'No,' ses Lareen. And with that the king shook his head and went his way.

"The next to come was the King of j.a.pan. And he up and ses: 'There's going to be great ructions on the other side of the Atlantic another day, and if you will give me the linnet with the golden crown, I will give you your choice of New York or Boston when the war is over.'

"'And how are you going to land an army, might I ask?' ses Lareen.

"'With the aid of the navy,' ses the king, with a smile.

"'Bedad, I wonder if that ever occurred to America,' ses Lareen.

"'I don't know, and what's more, I don't care,' ses the king.

"'There's too much old talk about peace, I'm thinking,' ses Lareen.

"'That's so,' ses the king. 'And talk by itself never did anything. Why, man alive, there is no such thing as peace in the world. The very people who advocate peace are always at cross-purposes with some one else. Sure every thing that's alive fights, from the fish in the sea to the birds of the air, and those who are not prepared always gets the worst of it. A man with a gun is better than a man with a blackthorn stick in his fist at any time, even though he might be an Irishman inself,' ses he.

"'And a small dog often leathered the devil out of a large dog when he caught him unawares,' ses Lareen.

"'Now you're talking sense,' ses the King. 'And 'tis only after a fight that you can tell who is the better man. Life itself is a fight from beginning to end, and when we cease fighting, well,' ses he, 'that's the end of us. But be all that as it may, what about giving me the linnet?'

"'I wouldn't part with him,' ses Lareen, 'for all the money in the world.'

"'Well,' ses the King, ''tis a great pity that you don't know you are so foolish.' And with that he put on his hat, curled his moustache, and walked out the door.

"And every day brought some mighty monarch or other to Lareen's cottage, and each and every one tried their very best to persuade him to part with the linnet, but they all went as they came, because Lareen was determined that he would never part with him until the day of his death."

"And what happened in the end?" said Padna.

"One day, after the King of the Ballyallen Islands came and offered all his wealth and possessions for the loan of the linnet to entertain some of his wife's people at the Royal Palace during the Christmas holidays, a large grey cat from the police sergeant's house across the road tumbled the cage from the wall, opened the door, and golloped up the linnet, with less ceremony than if he was a mouse or a c.o.c.kroach."

"And what happened then?"

"Lareen killed the cat and made a fur cap with its skin and sent it to the Czar of Russia to remind him to be kind to the poor musicians, because there's nothing finer in the country than its music, except its literature, of course," said Micus.

"Lareen was a fool not to sell the linnet when he got the first good offer. Any man who leaves opportunity slip between his fingers, so to speak, is a fool, and the man who doesn't know what he likes is the greatest fool of all. 'Pon my word, I don't know what to think of half the people I hear about," said Padna.

"Neither do I, but while the song of a bird and a sense of duty means more for some than either money or glory, there's hope for the world,"

said Micus.

"Bedad, I don't doubt but there is," said Padna.

THE MAN WITH THE WOODEN LEG