The Weight Part 29

That made me mad, like she had to warn me. "Can't you do any any d.a.m.n thing without making it some kind of deal?" I said. d.a.m.n thing without making it some kind of deal?" I said.

She raised her hand to slap me. I didn't move.

Then she was crying and kissing me at the same time. I don't even know how I ended up inside her.

"I said don't be rough, not play dead!" she hissed in my ear. But I could tell she wasn't mad at all.

The first time she woke me up that night, she was a little rough herself. The second time, she was just right.

I don't mean she was good, like an expert or anything. She was just...right, is the only way I can say it.

"This is my breakfast specialty." She was standing in the kitchen, talking over her shoulder at me. "Warmed-over Thai."

I didn't say anything.

"Trust, remember?"

"I do," I told her. She was sitting on the floor with her legs crossed, the ledgers in her lap.

"I'm not going to ask you why you want to find Jessop."

"If you want to know, I'll tell you."

"That isn't what I meant by trust, Sugar. He doesn't live in Tallaha.s.see. Or Tampa, either. It's way east of here, d.a.m.n near in the middle of the state."

"So?"

"The middle of this state, it's another world from the coasts. Plus, where he lives, it's a tiny tiny little town. They probably pay attention to anyone who even stops for gas." little town. They probably pay attention to anyone who even stops for gas."

"Were you ever there?"

"Not there, exactly. But in that part of the state? Sure. That's where I was born."

"So you met-?"

"I was a runaway, Sugar. I hitched a ride and I was gone. I didn't meet Jessop until I'd been on my own for a few weeks. And that wasn't so far from here. Tampa's where he took me.

"If he hadn't gotten busted for underage...I didn't have any fake ID, and I wasn't even...developed yet, not really. This was before I got the implants. The way the cops explained it to me, if we got married, they'd drop the charges on Jessop. But I'd need my mother's permission. I never even went back myself. Jessop went over there, paid her the money, and she signed. Like he was buying a used car."

The address she got from Albie's ledger wasn't the same one the lawyer told me. I figured Albie paid closer attention than any parole officer would. The Law might know where Jessop got his mail, but Albie would know where he lived.

A lot of good that did me. If Jessop had any sense, he'd stay close to his home base between jobs.

"He'd see me coming a mile away."

"You are difficult to hide," she said, kind of smiling at me. That's when I realized I must have said it out loud, instead of just thinking it.

"So far, n.o.body's seen me here, though. Do you think you could go out and get some more food? Enough we don't have to go out for every meal?"

"Sure," she said. I could see from her face that she knew why I wanted her out of there.

"Wait. Come here for a minute, Rena."

"Lynda."

"I'll get it."

She came over and dropped into my lap. "You have have to get it, Sugar. Before I was Rena, I was someone else. Jessop never put a hand on Rena. And you never have, either. Understand?" to get it, Sugar. Before I was Rena, I was someone else. Jessop never put a hand on Rena. And you never have, either. Understand?"

"Lynda," I said. And kissed her hair.

She snuggled against me. I kept thinking about trust. "Do you know this town?" I asked her.

"I used used to know it. Now all I know is what I told you: take-out joints, pharmacies, one mini-mall. I looked them up before we came down here. I even have a little map. But that's about it." to know it. Now all I know is what I told you: take-out joints, pharmacies, one mini-mall. I looked them up before we came down here. I even have a little map. But that's about it."

"d.a.m.n."

"What?"

"I thought maybe there was a way to get this Jessop here. Not here here, here. In Tampa someplace, I meant."

"Oh."

"Can you sit here and listen?" I said.

"Of course I can."

"No smoking."

"Sugar..."

"You want to smoke, sit over where you were. I still want you to listen."

She wiggled in my lap. Not like she was teasing, like she was making up her mind. Then she kind of settled in.

"Why didn't you take off the minute Albie was gone?" I asked.

"I didn't know I was supposed supposed to do that. I called Solly, and he sent you down empty. Without any will, I mean. How come?" to do that. I called Solly, and he sent you down empty. Without any will, I mean. How come?"

"Because he read it."

"Oh."

"And he wanted Albie's book."

"And he didn't care if I...Yeah, I get it. I get it now."

"I'm supposed to be down here looking for this Jessop. But, really, I'm supposed to get that book."

"That was the deal?"

"That was it. Only, Solly, he didn't know what was in that partners desk. He probably thought it was a stash of gold. That's something Solly always was a fanatic about, gold. 'Jewish Traveler's Checks' is what he called it."

"How does this help us?"

"You have to help me me first, Lynda. I don't mean a trade or anything like that. I mean, you and me, we have to help each other. You're smarter than me about some things; I'm smarter than you about other things. We have to put that together." first, Lynda. I don't mean a trade or anything like that. I mean, you and me, we have to help each other. You're smarter than me about some things; I'm smarter than you about other things. We have to put that together."

"That's what Albie always told me."

"I don't-"

"Add everything up. Always add everything up. If you do that right, whatever's missing, that's what you're looking for."

"Okay, but-"

"Sugar, just sit here for a couple of hours. You can think while you're sitting; I can think while I'm running around stocking us up. When I come back, that's when we can sit down and do the adding up. Together, okay?"

"Okay," I said. I was a little disappointed she hadn't noticed me calling her Lynda. But then I thought maybe that meant she didn't think I was dumb.

I didn't want to disappoint her her, so I really did try and think over everything we had. But all I could really think of was what we didn't.

"Let me do it," she said, when I got up to help her unload the car. "There's no reason for anyone around here to get a look at you. That's what the slot in front of each unit is for. Your guests, or if you want to drive right up to the door to off-load stuff."

It took her a lot of trips, but not much time-it was only a few steps to the door, and she left it open. She'd bought some real big suitcases, too, but they were empty.

When she-when Lynda Lynda-got back from putting the car away, she closed the door behind her.

"Hungry?"

"I guess so."

"I thought you guys had to have a ton of calories every day."

"You don't get a ton of calories in prison."

"But you still lift weights and all?"

"If you can. It all depends. And if you have enough money on the books, you don't have to eat mainline, either. The problem really isn't calories, it's getting healthy food."

"Well, that's my specialty. Salads and stuff like that, I mean. What I got was either fresh or frozen. I'm a killer on the microwave, but I'm not touching an oven."

"You want me to-?"

"I want you to sit there like a good boy and let me put some plates together for us."

I liked how she put everything away, even the plates and gla.s.ses in the dishwasher. Not the way she did it, just that she did it before she had a smoke. Most smokers, they finish eating, they light up.

"Can we do this, Sugar?"

"What you said before? Sure, I think we can. We have to try, anyway."

That's when she fired up a cigarette, and said, "Me first. I'm going to say things. Each one, you tell me if I'm right, if I'm wrong, or if you just don't know, okay?"

I just nodded.

"Albie and Solly were like brothers. They go back to before either of us was born."

"That's what Solly said. I don't know if it's true."

"It was, once, anyway. They each had a book. Those little blue books. And they each had a will."

"Solly said that, too."

"When Albie...died, I called Solly. He told me he was sending a man down. He said he'd call again, first. I thought you were bringing Albie's will down with you."

"Only, I really came for that little blue book."

"I know. But you didn't say a word about it. That's why I...acted like I did. I never talk like that now, but that doesn't mean I don't remember how how to. And I didn't want to just come out and ask you. About the will, I mean." to. And I didn't want to just come out and ask you. About the will, I mean."

"I get it."

"But you looking for Jessop, that was real?"

"Now, sitting here, I don't know anymore, Lynda. All I know for sure sure is that Solly wanted Albie's book." is that Solly wanted Albie's book."

"I knew that all along."

"You knew? Then why didn't you just-?"

"Albie told me not to."

"What? You mean, like, some kind of...I don't know what to call it, but you know what I mean."

"A voice from beyond?" She smiled. Sweet and gentle, just like Grace did when I met her. "No. When he told me, I was standing in his den. He was at his desk. He said if he went before Solly I should call Solly. Just tell Solly, then just listen.

"It used to upset me, him talking like that. But I knew it was just him getting me ready. Albie always used to say, if a train is coming at you, closing your eyes won't save you...but if you look right at it, you at least have a chance to jump."

"He was right about that. That's me, perfect-I never saw it coming."

"What are you-?"