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[9] _Imitation_, I, xiii.
[10] St. Matt. xi, 29.
[11] _Imitation_, I, ii.
[12] Heb. iv, 15.
[13] St. Luke says, "When the devil had ended every kind of temptation, he departed from Him until a convenient season."--Chap, iv, 13. "He was tempted throughout the forty days, and that what is recorded is merely an ill.u.s.tration of what took place. The enemy tried all his weapons, and was at all points defeated."--Plummer, _Internal. Crit.
Comment_, in loc.
[14] St. Jerome, Epistle to Heliodorus.
[15] H. E. Manning, _Sin and its Consequences_, p. 173.
[16] St. Matt. vi, 20.
[17] Phil. ii, 12.
[18] St. John xix, 30.
[19] 2 Cor. vi, 2; Ps. xliii, 5; St. Luke xxi, 28.
[20] Heb. v, 14. The words of the author of the Epistle may be paraphrased somewhat as follows: "Who by reason of the possession of perfected habit have the mental faculties exercised (by a course of spiritual gymnastics), for discriminating between good and evil." See Westcott and Alford _in loc_. St. Macarius, speaking of these spiritual gymnastics, says, "We have need of many and great efforts, of much secret and unseen toil, to be able thoroughly to sift and scrutinize our thoughts, and to exercise the languid senses of the soul to discern both good and evil. We must continually arouse and excite the debilitated members of the soul by a close application of our minds to G.o.d."--_Inst.i.tutes of Christian Perfection_, Bk. I, ch. vii.
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CHAPTER XII
THE RETURN FROM CAPTIVITY
We may set before ourselves the methods of warfare that lead to spiritual victory; we may study them with all care and prayer; but the weakness of our nature being what it is, we must not expect to go through life without meeting defeat at the hands of the enemy. Even the Saints have not been immune from sin. When St. Paul spoke of sinners, he added, "Of whom I am chief."[1] St. John not only said, "If we say that we have no sin, we deceive ourselves," but he added those terrible words, "If we say that we have not sinned, we make Him a liar."[2]
A most necessary part, therefore, of our instruction in the school of the soldier is concerning the course we are to follow when we find we have fallen; how we are to find our way back from the captivity; by what means we are to renew our allegiance to our divine Leader.
We all know that the necessary thing is _Repentance_, but it is not everyone who understands what repentance is. In its essence repentance is {188} not an emotion; it is not a mere att.i.tude of mind; it is a work, a serious work, and in many instances a hard work. In this chapter we do not purpose using any special method, scholastic or otherwise, of showing what this work is, or how it should be accomplished. In a simple, perhaps informal way, we shall, as the Holy Ghost may guide us, consider some of the aspects of the interior spirit we must cultivate if, after a fall, we would by true repentance come back to our loving Father.
I. _Hastening to Repent_
It will help us if we recall one of the principles we thought of in the beginning of our study, when we were considering the terms and conditions of the warfare. We learned then that any fall into sin, in the measure of its seriousness, means, "not an idle, pa.s.sive confinement in some spiritual prison, but an active enlistment in the armies of h.e.l.l to fight against our Lord Jesus Christ."
When we think of this, we shall understand that the first consideration must be the speed with which we must hasten to release ourselves from the horrid bondage into which we have fallen. Two reasons for this haste suggest themselves.
(1) First of all, the soul that desires to love will make all speed in order that G.o.d's Name may {189} be relieved of the dishonour that befalls it when one of His family, one called by His name, signed and sealed as His soldier, renounces Him and gives in his allegiance to the Devil. We can brook no delay in such a matter. How keenly sensitive is human honour in like affairs! Let us not think that the divine honour is a duller thing than that indefinable possession men guard as the most sacred of all their moral treasures.
(2) Again, for our own sakes, no time is to be lost in returning to G.o.d. Sin is a poison. Every moment the poison remains in the system makes it more difficult to expel. It is absorbed and carried to every part of the body, working wherever it touches with deadly effect. If we should take a poisonous draught by mistake, how instant we should be that we might be rid of it. How much more insistent should we be that the poison whose effects are eternal should not be given time for its deadly work.
It is at this point that Satan's temptation comes in. "What is the use?" he whispers, "you will sin again." So does he try to discourage us, and the soul who thinks only of self is apt to stop and listen.
Not so with him whose penitence has its root in love; not so with him who feels keenly that his act has dishonoured a loving, tender Father and Friend. He will not brood over his {190} fall, for he knows that every hour of such weak repining is an hour of added sin. He will sweep the temptation aside, and cry with strong resolution, "I will arise and go to my Father!" For he knows that if he waits, the numbing influence of the poison will creep into heart and will, and that after a time he may have neither desire nor power to repent.
We must not leave this subject, however, without finding a reply to Satan's suggestion,--"It is of no use; you will sin again." Many a soul has been entrapped by it. Many a one, through fear of future failure, has been held back from righting the present wrong. But to yield to such a fear is to commit a special offence against the Holy Ghost. No promise is more constant in Holy Scripture than that if we rise in the strength He will give us, go forward again, and set no special task for ourselves beyond just doing the best we can, He will keep and sustain us. "He shall give His angels charge over thee to keep thee in all thy ways;"[3] "Fear not, little flock, for it is your Father's good pleasure to give you the kingdom."[4] "Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid;"[5] "I will never leave thee nor forsake thee."[6]
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What completer a.s.surance can we ask of the Holy Spirit than these repeated promises that G.o.d will fight for us, defend us on every side, and give us the victory? and he who fears to rise and go forward in the face of such a.s.surances, is a.s.suming that the Spirit has spoken falsely, or that G.o.d will not keep His word.
II. _A Tranquil Sorrow_
Our penitence, though prompt and swift, must withal be tranquil. True penitence allows no place for excitability.
(1) Because it grasps the truth that our fall was not a matter for surprise. It was only what we are to expect when, failing to use the grace G.o.d constantly offers, we venture upon our own strength. The only wonder and surprise should be that we do not fail a hundred times more frequently.
(2) Because surprise at falling indicates pride. We imagined we were strong. In self-righteousness we prided ourselves on our security, and we found that "security is the suburbs of h.e.l.l." But true penitence knows no such pride, and therefore feels no surprise. The broken and contrite heart is, of necessity, the humble heart; it is the heart that thanks G.o.d with wondering grat.i.tude for every hour of faithfulness to Him.
(3) Again, true penitence is tranquil because {192} it is sure of acceptance at the Father's hands. Perturbation in its approach to G.o.d would indicate uncertainty of mind as to its reception; and this would mean a lack of trust in His promises. Consider again what the promises are: "Turn unto the Lord your G.o.d, for He is gracious and merciful, slow to anger, and of great kindness";[7] "To the Lord our G.o.d belong mercies and forgivenesses, though we have rebelled against Him; neither have we obeyed the voice of the Lord our G.o.d;"[8] "Him that cometh to Me I will in no wise cast out";[9] "The Blood of Jesus Christ His Son cleanseth us from all sin."[10]
Can the heart desiring to return to the allegiance of our G.o.d have any qualm of doubt in the face of such promises? If there is true penitence, rather will it return in a confident peace, knowing with a most a.s.sured certainty that "the mercy of the Lord is from everlasting to everlasting upon them that fear Him."[11]
(4) The penitent soul turns to the Father in tranquillity because it knows that, though there has been grievous fall, yet all is not lost.
He will give it another chance. In the Father's house are many mansions, and He is still preparing a place for us. All the treasures of His {193} Kingdom may yet be ours if we come back in true sorrow.
We broke our resolution, we wounded Him again in the same old sin, but He has not given us up. Even while we are wondering how we can ever face Him again, He is starting out on His way to the wilderness to seek the sheep that is lost. The stones of the way cut His Sacred Feet; the thorns and briars of sin tear His Hands as He bends down to extricate the entangled soul; but He cares naught for these if only He can fetch home again His banished one.
We are told that "The Saints are the sinners who kept on trying." They reign in glory to-day not because they were pure from sin, but because when sin entered in they did not forget the Father's tender love, but came back, calm and sure, to the peace of His pardoning embrace.
III. _A Spirit of Reparation_
A heart that loves, and that has offended the object of its love, naturally longs for opportunity to make reparation. If our return to the divine allegiance after a fall is in the smallest measure sincere, we shall not have to spur ourselves on to a desire for reparation. It will spring up unbidden, strong and dominant. The heart will be restless and disquieted until opportunity be found.
This desire is not a supernatural gift only. It {194} belongs even to the natural heart of man. We see it showing itself in little children.
Mark the child who has offended a loving mother, who has wept out its heart-broken confession on her bosom, and been forgiven and soothed, and sent away restored to the mother's favour. How quick is that little one all day long to watch for and grasp opportunities of responding to her slightest wish. The little heart instinctively longs to make good the wrong of its disobedience. So with the heart that, having sinned against G.o.d, has repented. This is one of the best tests of true and G.o.dly repentance. If we long to repair the wrong, if we are quick to seize opportunities to honour Him whom our sin had dishonoured, there can be no question that we have sorrowed after a G.o.dly sort.
How does G.o.d meet this spirit on the part of the penitent?
Here enters the divine Love and says, "My child, you have indeed dishonoured Me in your sin, and wounded and crucified Me afresh. Your love demands an opportunity for reparation and my answering love will give it you. Go forth to this renewed battle; show that you can be a good soldier of the Cross. Fight valiantly that you may win even greater glory for My Name than that which was lost by your failure."
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What more can the generous heart ask of G.o.d? Suppose when we came to Him in deep sorrow for our fault, He should say to us, "I will pardon you, but never will I give you the opportunity of serving me again. I trusted you once and you failed me. I will not trust you again."
Would our hearts desire heaven on such a condition? I think there is not one of us who would not feel that to stand in His presence among the redeemed on such terms would be the veriest h.e.l.l. But the love of G.o.d deals not thus with sinners. "Though you have failed Me," He says, "I will trust you again. Go forth once more. My grace will make you strong; My love will hedge you round about."
IV. _The Work of Amendment_