The Thousand and One Nights Volume I Part 32

The King said, This is not more pleasant than the story of the humpback: nay, the story of the humpback is more pleasant than this; and ye must all of you be crucified.--The Jew, however, then came forward, and, having kissed the ground, said, O King of the age, I will relate to thee a story more wonderful than that of the humpback:--and the King said, Relate thy story. So he commenced thus:--

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THE STORY TOLD BY THE JEWISH PHYSICIAN.

The most wonderful of the events that happened to me in my younger days was this:--I was residing in Damascus, where I learnt and practised my art; and while I was thus occupied, one day there came to me a memlook from the house of the governor of the city: so I went forth with him, and accompanied him to the abode of the governor. I entered, and beheld, at the upper end of a saloon, a couch of alabaster overlaid with plates of gold, upon which was reclining a sick man: he was young; and a person more comely had not been seen in his age. Seating myself at his head, I e.j.a.c.u.l.a.t.ed a prayer for his restoration;[V_46] and he made a sign to me with his eye. I then said to him, O my master, stretch forth to me thy hand:--whereupon he put forth to me his left hand; and I was surprised at this, and said within myself, What self-conceit! I felt his pulse, however, and wrote a prescription for him, and continued to visit him for a period of ten days, until he recovered his strength; when he entered the bath, and washed himself, and came forth: and the governor conferred upon me a handsome dress of honour, and appointed me superintendent of the hospital of Damascus.[V_47] But when I went with him into the bath, which they had cleared of all other visitors for us alone, and the servants had brought the clothes, and taken away those which he had pulled off within, I perceived that his right hand had been cruelly amputated; at the sight of which I wondered, and grieved for him; and looking at his skin, I observed upon him marks of beating with mi?ra'ahs, which caused me to wonder more. The young man then turned towards me, and said, O doctor of the age, wonder not at my case; for I will relate to thee my story when we have gone out from the bath:--and when we had gone forth, and arrived at the house, and had eaten some food, and rested, he said to me, Hast thou a desire to divert thyself in the supper-room? I answered, Yes:--and immediately he ordered the slaves to take up thither the furniture, and to roast a lamb and bring us some fruit. So the slaves did as he commanded them: and when they had brought the fruit, and we had eaten, I said to him, Relate to me thy story:--and he replied, O doctor of the age, listen to the relation of the events which have befallen me.

Know that I am of the children of El-Mo?il. My paternal grandfather died leaving ten male children, one of whom was my father: he was the eldest of them; and they all grew up and married; and my father was blest with me; but none of his nine brothers was blest with children. So I grew up among my uncles, who delighted in me exceedingly; and when I had attained to manhood, I was one day with my father in the chief mosque of El-Mo?il. The day was Friday; and we performed the congregational prayers, and all the people went out, except my father and my uncles, who sat conversing together respecting the wonders of various countries, and the strange sights of different cities, until they mentioned Egypt; when one of my uncles said, The travellers a.s.sert, that there is not on the face of the earth a more agreeable country than Egypt with its Nile:[V_48]--and my father added, He who hath not seen Cairo hath not seen the world: its soil is gold; its Nile is a wonder; its women are like the black-eyed virgins of Paradise; its houses are palaces; and its air is temperate; its odour surpa.s.sing that of aloes-wood, and cheering the heart: and how can Cairo be otherwise when it is the metropolis of the world?[V_49] Did ye see its gardens in the evening (he continued), with the shade obliquely extending over them, ye would behold a wonder, and yield with ecstasy to their attractions.[V_50]

When I heard these descriptions of Egypt, my mind became wholly engaged by reflections upon that country; and after they had departed to their homes, I pa.s.sed the night sleepless from my excessive longing towards it, and neither food nor drink was pleasant to me. A few days after, my uncles prepared to journey thither, and I wept before my father that I might go with them, so that he prepared a stock of merchandise for me, and I departed in their company; but he said to them, Suffer him not to enter Egypt, but leave him at Damascus, that he may there sell his merchandise.

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I took leave of my father, and we set forth from El-Mo?il, and continued our journey until we arrived at Aleppo, where we remained some days; after which we proceeded thence until we came to Damascus; and we beheld it to be a city with trees and rivers and fruits and birds, as though it were a paradise, containing fruits of every kind. We took lodgings in one of the Khans, and my uncles remained there until they had sold and bought; and they also sold my merchandise, gaining, for every piece of silver, five, so that I rejoiced at my profit. My uncles then left me, and repaired to Egypt, and I remained, and took up my abode in a handsome ?a'ah, such as the tongue cannot describe; the monthly rent of which was two pieces of gold.[V_51]

Here I indulged myself with eating and drinking, squandering away the money that was in my possession; and as I was sitting one day at the door of the ?a'ah, a damsel approached me, attired in clothing of the richest description, such as I had never seen surpa.s.sed in costliness, and I invited her to come in; whereupon, without hesitation, she entered; and I was delighted at her compliance, and closed the door upon us both. She then uncovered her face, and took off her izar, and I found her to be so surprisingly beautiful that love for her took possession of my heart: so I went and brought a repast consisting of the most delicious viands and fruit and everything else that was requisite for her entertainment, and we ate and sported together; after which, we drank till we were intoxicated, and fell asleep, and so we remained until the morning, when I handed her ten pieces of gold; but she swore that she would not accept them from me, and said, Expect me again, O my beloved, after three days: at the hour of sunset I will be with thee: and do thou prepare for us, with these pieces of gold, a repast similar to this which we have just enjoyed. She then gave me ten pieces of gold, and took leave of me, and departed, taking my reason with her. And after the three days had expired, she came again, decked with embroidered stuffs and ornaments and other attire more magnificent than those which she wore on the former occasion. I had prepared for her what was required previously to her arrival; so we now ate and drank and fell asleep as before; and in the morning she gave me again ten pieces of gold, promising to return to me after three more days. I therefore made ready what was requisite, and after the three days she came attired in a dress still more magnificent than the first and second, and said to me, O my master, am I beautiful?--Yea, verily, I answered.--Wilt thou give me leave, she rejoined, to bring with me a damsel more beautiful than myself, and younger than I, that she may sport with us, and we may make merry with her? For she hath requested that she may accompany me, and pa.s.s the night in frolicking with us.--And so saying, she gave me twenty pieces of gold, desiring me to prepare a more plentiful repast, on account of the lady who was to come with her; after which, she bade me farewell, and departed.

Accordingly, on the fourth day, I procured what was requisite, as usual, and soon after sunset she came, accompanied by a female wrapped in an izar, and they entered, and seated themselves. I was rejoiced, and I lighted the candles, and welcomed them with joy and exultation. They then took off their outer garments, and when the new damsel uncovered her face, I perceived that she was like the full moon: I had never beheld a person more beautiful. I arose immediately, and placed before them the food and drink, and we ate and drank, while I continued caressing the new damsel, and filling the wine-cup for her, and drinking with her: but the first lady was affected with a secret jealousy.--By Allah, she said, verily this girl is beautiful! Is she not more charming than I?--Yea, indeed, I answered.--Soon after this, I fell asleep, and when I awoke in the morning, I found my hand defiled with blood, and, opening my eyes, perceived that the sun had risen; so I attempted to rouse the damsel, my new companion, whereupon her head rolled from her body. The other damsel was gone, and I concluded, therefore, that she had done this from her jealousy; and after reflecting a while, I arose, and took off my clothes, and dug a hole in the ?a'ah, in which I deposited the murdered damsel, afterwards covering her remains with earth, and replacing the marble pavement as it was before. I then dressed myself again, and, taking the remainder of my money, went forth, and repaired to the owner of the ?a'ah, and paid him a year's rent, saying to him, I am about to journey to my uncles in Egypt.

So I departed to Egypt, where I met with my uncles, and they were rejoiced to see me. I found that they had concluded the sale of their merchandise, and they said to me, What is the cause of thy coming? I answered, I had a longing desire to be with you, and feared that my money would not suffice me.--For a year I remained with them, enjoying the pleasures of Egypt and its Nile; and I dipped my hand into the residue of my money, and expended it prodigally in eating and drinking until near the time of my uncles' departure, when I fled from them: so they said, Probably, he hath gone before us, and returned to Damascus:--and they departed. I then came forth from my concealment, and remained in Cairo three years, squandering away my money until scarcely any of it remained: but meanwhile I sent every year the rent of the ?a'ah at Damascus to its owner: and after the three years my heart became contracted, for nothing remained in my possession but the rent for the year.

I therefore journeyed back to Damascus, and alighted at the ?a'ah. The owner was rejoiced to see me, and I entered it, and cleansed it of the blood of the murdered damsel, and, removing a cushion, I found, beneath this, the necklace that she had worn that night. I took it up and examined it, and wept a while. After this I remained in the house two days, and on the third day I entered the bath, and changed my clothes. I now had no money left; and I went one day to the market, where (the Devil suggesting it to me, in order to accomplish the purpose of destiny) I handed the necklace of jewels to a broker; and he rose to me, and seated me by his side: then having waited until the market was replenished, he took it, and announced it for sale secretly, without my knowledge. The price bidden for it amounted to two thousand pieces of gold; but he came to me and said, This necklace is of bra.s.s, of the counterfeit manufacture of the Franks, and its price hath amounted to a thousand pieces of silver. I answered him, Yes; we had made it for a woman, merely to laugh at her, and my wife has inherited it, and we desire to sell it: go, therefore, and receive the thousand pieces of silver. Now when the broker heard this, he perceived that the affair was suspicious, and went and gave the necklace to the chief of the market, who took it to the Walee, and said to him, This necklace was stolen from me, and we have found the thief, clad in the dress of the sons of the merchants. And before I knew what had happened, the officers had surrounded me, and they took me to the Walee, who questioned me respecting the necklace. I told him, therefore, the same story that I had told to the broker; but he laughed, and said, This is not the truth:--and instantly his people stripped me of my outer clothing, and beat me with mi?ra'ahs all over my body, until, through the torture that I suffered from the blows, I said, I stole it;--reflecting that it was better I should say I stole it, than confess that its owner was murdered in my abode; for then they would kill me to avenge her: and as soon as I had said so, they cut off my hand, and scalded the stump with boiling oil,[V_52] and I swooned away. They then gave me to drink some wine, by swallowing which I recovered my senses; and I took my amputated hand, and returned to the ?a'ah; but its owner said to me, Since this hath happened to thee, leave the ?a'ah, and look for another abode; for thou art accused of an unlawful act.--O my master, I replied, give me two or three days' delay that I may seek for a lodging:--and he a.s.sented to this, and departed and left me. So I remained alone, and sat weeping, and saying, How can I return to my family with my hand cut off? He who cut it off knoweth not that I am innocent: perhaps, then, G.o.d will bring about some event for my relief.

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I sat weeping violently; and when the owner of the ?a'ah had departed from me, excessive grief overcame me, and I was sick for two days; and on the third day, suddenly the owner of the ?a'ah came to me, with some officers of the police, and the chief of the market, and accused me again of stealing the necklace. So I went out to them, and said, What is the news?--whereupon, without granting me a moment's delay, they bound my arms behind me, and put a chain around my neck, saying to me, The necklace which was in thy possession hath proved to be the property of the governor of Damascus, its Wezeer and its Ruler: it hath been lost from the governor's house for a period of three years, and with it was his daughter.--When I heard these words from them, my limbs trembled, and I said within myself, They will kill me! My death is inevitable! By Allah, I must relate my story to the governor; and if he please he will kill me, or if he please he will pardon me.--And when we arrived at the governor's abode, and they had placed me before him, and he beheld me, he said, Is this he who stole the necklace and went out to sell it?

Verily ye have cut off his hand wrongfully.--He then ordered that the chief of the market should be imprisoned, and said to him, Give to this person the compensatory fine for his hand,[V_53] or I will hang thee and seize all thy property. And he called out to his attendants, who took him and dragged him away.

I was now left with the governor alone, after they had, by his permission, loosed the chain from my neck, and untied the cords which bound my arms; and the governor, looking towards me, said to me, O my son, tell me thy story, and speak truth. How did this necklace come into thy possession?--So I replied, O my lord, I will tell thee the truth:--and I related to him all that had happened to me with the first damsel, and how she had brought to me the second, and murdered her from jealousy; on hearing which, he shook his head, and covered his face with his handkerchief, and wept. Then looking towards me, he said, Know, O my son, that the elder damsel was my daughter: I kept her closely; and when she had attained a fit age for marriage, I sent her to the son of her uncle in Cairo; but he died, and she returned to me, having learnt habits of profligacy from the inhabitants of that city:[V_54] so she visited thee four times; and on the fourth occasion, she brought to thee her younger sister. They were sisters by the same mother, and much attached to each other; and when the event which thou hast related occurred to the elder, she imparted her secret to her sister, who asked my permission to go out with her; after which the elder returned alone; and when I questioned her respecting her sister, I found her weeping for her, and she answered, I know no tidings of her:--but she afterwards informed her mother, secretly, of the murder which she had committed; and her mother privately related the affair to me; and she continued to weep for her incessantly, saying, By Allah, I will not cease to weep for her until I die. Thy account, O my son, is true; for I knew the affair before thou toldest it me. See then, O my son, what hath happened: and now I request of thee that thou wilt not oppose me in that which I am about to say; and it is this:--I desire to marry thee to my youngest daughter; for she is not of the same mother as they were:[V_55] she is a virgin, and I will receive from thee no dowry, but will a.s.sign to you both an allowance; and thou shalt be to me as an own son.--I replied, Let it be as thou desirest, O my master. How could I expect to attain unto such happiness?--The governor then sent immediately a courier to bring the property which my father had left me (for he had died since my departure from him), and now I am living in the utmost affluence.

I wondered, said the Jew, at his history; and after I had remained with him three days, he gave me a large sum of money; and I left him, to set forth on a journey; and, arriving in this your country, my residence here pleased me, and I experienced this which hath happened to me with the humpback.

The King, when he had heard this story, said, This is not more wonderful than the story of the humpback, and ye must all of you be hanged, and especially the tailor, who is the source of all the mischief. But he afterwards added, O tailor, if thou tell me a story more wonderful than that of the humpback, I will forgive you your offences. So the tailor advanced, and said,--

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THE STORY TOLD BY THE TAILOR.

Know, O King of the age, that what hath happened to me is more wonderful than the events which have happened to all the others. Before I met the humpback, I was, early in the morning, at an entertainment given to certain tradesmen of my acquaintance, consisting of tailors and linen-drapers and carpenters and others; and when the sun had risen, the repast was brought for us to eat; and lo, the master of the house came in to us, accompanied by a strange and handsome young man, of the inhabitants of Baghdad. He was attired in clothes of the handsomest description, and was a most comely person, except that he was lame; and as soon as he had entered and saluted us, we rose to him; but when he was about to seat himself, he observed among us a man who was a barber, whereupon he refused to sit down, and desired to depart from us. We and the master of the house, however, prevented him, and urged him to seat himself; and the host conjured him, saying, What is the reason of thy entering, and then immediately departing?--By Allah, O my master, replied he, offer me no opposition; for the cause of my departure is this barber, who is sitting with you. And when the host heard this, he was exceedingly surprised, and said, How is it that the heart of this young man, who is from Baghdad, is troubled by the presence of this barber? We then looked towards him, and said, Relate to us the cause of thy displeasure against this barber; and the young man replied, O company, a surprising adventure happened to me with this barber in Baghdad, my city; and he was the cause of my lameness, and of the breaking of my leg; and I have sworn that I will not sit in any place where he is present, nor dwell in any town where he resides: I quitted Baghdad and took up my abode in this city, and I will not pa.s.s the next night without departing from it.--Upon this, we said to him, We conjure thee, by Allah, to relate to us thy adventure with him.--And the countenance of the barber turned pale when he heard us make this request. The young man then said,--

Know, O good people, that my father was one of the chief merchants of Baghdad; and G.o.d (whose name be exalted!) blessed him with no son but myself; and when I grew up, and had attained to manhood, my father was admitted to the mercy of G.o.d, leaving me wealth and servants and other dependants; whereupon I began to attire myself in clothes of the handsomest description, and to feed upon the most delicious meats. Now G.o.d (whose perfection be extolled!) made me to be a hater of women; and so I continued, until, one day, I was walking through the streets of Baghdad, when a party of them stopped my way: I therefore fled from them, and, entering a by-street which was not a thoroughfare, I reclined upon a ma??abah at its further extremity. Here I had been seated but a short time when, lo, a window opposite the place where I sat was opened, and there looked out from it a damsel like the full moon, such as I had never in my life beheld. She had some flowers, which she was watering, beneath the window; and she looked to the right and left, and then shut the window, and disappeared from before me. Fire had been shot into my heart, and my mind was absorbed by her; my hatred of women was turned into love, and I continued sitting in the same place until sunset, in a state of distraction from the violence of my pa.s.sion, when, lo, the ?a?ee of the city came riding along, with slaves before him and servants behind him, and alighted, and entered the house from which the damsel had looked out: so I knew that he must be her father.

I then returned to my house, sorrowful; and fell upon my bed, full of anxious thoughts; and my female slaves came in to me, and seated themselves around me, not knowing what was the matter with me; and I acquainted them not with my case, nor returned any answers to their questions; and my disorder increased. The neighbours, therefore, came to cheer me with their visits; and among those who visited me was an old woman, who, as soon as she saw me, discovered my state; whereupon she seated herself at my head, and, addressing me in a kind manner, said, O my son, tell me what hath happened to thee? So I related to her my story, and she said, O my son, this is the daughter of the ?a?ee of Baghdad, and she is kept in close confinement: the place where thou sawest her is her apartment, and her father occupies a large saloon below, leaving her alone; and often do I visit her: thou canst obtain an interview with her only through me: so brace up thy nerves. When I heard, therefore, what she said, I took courage, and fortified my heart; and my family rejoiced that day. I rose up firm in limb, and hoping for complete restoration; and the old woman departed; but she returned with her countenance changed, and said, O my son, ask not what she did when I told her of thy case; for she said, If thou abstain not, O ill-omened old woman, from this discourse, I will treat thee as thou deservest:--but I must go to her a second time.

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On hearing this, my disorder increased: after some days, however, the old woman came again, and said, O my son, I desire of thee a reward for good tidings. My soul returned to my body at these words, and I replied, Thou shalt receive from me everything that thou canst wish. She then said, I went yesterday to the damsel, and when she beheld me with broken heart and weeping eye, she said to me, O my aunt, wherefore do I see thee with contracted heart?--and when she had thus said, I wept, and answered, O my daughter and mistress, I came to thee yesterday from visiting a youth who loveth thee, and he is at the point of death on thy account:--and, her heart being moved with compa.s.sion, she asked, Who is this youth of whom thou speakest? I answered, He is my son, and the child that is dear to my soul: he saw thee at the window some days ago, while thou wast watering thy flowers; and when he beheld thy face, he became distracted with love for thee: I informed him of the conversation that I had with thee the first time; upon which his disorder increased, and he took to his pillow: he is now dying, and there is no doubt of his fate.--And upon this, her countenance became pale, and she said, Is this all on my account?--Yea, by Allah, I answered; and what dost thou order me to do?--Go to him, said she; convey to him my salutation, and tell him that my love is greater than his; and on Friday next, before the congregational prayers, let him come hither: I will give orders to open the door to him, and to bring him up to me, and I will have a short interview with him, and he shall return before my father comes back from the prayers.

When I heard these words of the old woman, the anguish which I had suffered ceased; my heart was set at rest, and I gave her the suit of clothes which I was then wearing, and she departed, saying to me, Cheer up thy heart. I replied, I have no longer any pain. The people of my house, and my friends, communicated, one to another, the good news of my restoration to health, and I remained thus until the Friday, when the old woman came in to me, and asked me respecting my state: so I informed her that I was happy and well. I then dressed and perfumed myself, and sat waiting for the people to go to prayers, that I might repair to the damsel; but the old woman said to me, Thou hast yet more than ample time, and if thou go to the bath and shave, especially for the sake of obliterating the traces of thy disorder, it will be more becoming.--It is a judicious piece of advice, replied I; but I will shave my head first, and then go into the bath.

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So I sent for a barber to shave my head, saying to the boy, Go to the market, and bring me a barber, one who is a man of sense, little inclined to impertinence, that he may not make my head ache by his chattering. And the boy went, and brought this sheykh, who, on entering, saluted me; and when I had returned his salutation, he said to me, May G.o.d dispel thy grief and thine anxiety, and misfortunes and sorrows! I responded, May G.o.d accept thy prayer! He then said, Be cheerful, O my master, for health hath returned to thee. Dost thou desire to be shaved or to be bled?--for it hath been handed down, on the authority of Ibn-'Abbas,[V_56] that the Prophet said, Whoso shorteneth his hair on Friday, G.o.d will avert from him seventy diseases;--and it hath been handed down also, on the same authority, that the Prophet said, Whoso is cupped on Friday will not be secure from the loss of sight and from frequent disease.--Abstain, said I, from this useless discourse, and come immediately, shave my head, for I am weak. And he arose, and, stretching forth his hand, took out a handkerchief, and opened it; and lo, there was in it an astrolabe, consisting of seven plates;[V_57]

and he took it, and went into the middle of the court, where he raised his head towards the sun, and looked for a considerable time; after which he said to me, Know that there have pa.s.sed, of this our day, which is Friday, and which is the tenth of ?afar,[V_58] of the year 263[V_59] of the Flight of the Prophet,--upon whom be the most excellent of blessings and peace!--and the ascendant star of which, according to the required rules of the science of computation, is the planet Mars,--seven degrees[V_60] and six minutes; and it happeneth that Mercury hath come in conjunction with that planet; and this indicateth that the shaving of hair is now a most excellent operation: and it hath indicated to me, also, that thou desirest to confer a benefit upon a person: and fortunate is he!--but after that, there is an announcement that presenteth itself to me respecting a matter which I will not mention to thee.

By Allah, I exclaimed, thou hast wearied me, and dissipated my mind, and augured against me, when I required thee only to shave my head: arise, then, and shave it; and prolong not thy discourse to me. But he replied, By Allah, if thou knewest the truth of the case, thou wouldst demand of me a further explication; and I counsel thee to do this day as I direct thee, according to the calculations deduced from the stars: it is thy duty to praise G.o.d, and not to oppose me; for I am one who giveth thee good advice, and who regardeth thee with compa.s.sion: I would that I were in thy service for a whole year, that thou mightest do me justice; and I desire not any pay from thee for so doing.--When I heard this, I said to him, Verily thou art killing me this day, and there is no escape for me.--O my master, he replied, I am he whom the people call E?-?amit,[V_61] on account of the paucity of my speech, by which I am distinguished above my brothers; for my eldest brother is named El-Ba?boo?;[V_62] and the second, El-Heddar; and the third, Ba?ba?; and the fourth is named El-Kooz el-A?wanee; and the fifth, El-Feshshar; and the sixth is named Sha?ali?; and the seventh brother is named E?-?amit; and he is myself.

Now when this barber thus overwhelmed me with his talk, I felt as if my gall-bladder had burst, and said to the boy, Give him a quarter of a piece of gold, and let him depart from me for the sake of Allah: for I have no need to shave my head. But the barber on hearing what I said to the boy, exclaimed, What is this that thou hast said, O my lord? By Allah, I will accept from thee no pay unless I serve thee; and serve thee I must; for to do so is inc.u.mbent on me, and to perform what thou requirest; and I care not if I receive from thee no money. If thou knowest not my worth, I know thine; and thy father--may Allah have mercy upon him!--treated us with beneficence; for he was a man of generosity.

By Allah, thy father sent for me one day, like this blessed day, and when I went to him, he had a number of his friends with him, and he said to me, Take some blood from me. So I took the astrolabe, and observed the alt.i.tude for him, and found the ascendant of the hour to be of evil omen, and that the letting of blood would be attended with trouble: I therefore acquainted him with this, and he conformed to my wish, and waited until the arrival of the approved hour, when I took the blood from him. He did not oppose me; but, on the contrary, thanked me; and in like manner all the company present thanked me; and thy father gave me a hundred pieces of gold for services similar to the letting of blood.--May G.o.d, said I, shew no mercy to my father for knowing such a man as thou!--and the barber laughed, and exclaimed, There is no deity but G.o.d! Mo?ammad is G.o.d's Apostle! Extolled be the perfection of Him who changeth others, but is not changed! I did not imagine thee to be otherwise than a man of sense; but thou hast talked nonsense in consequence of thine illness. G.o.d hath mentioned, in his Excellent Book, those who restrain their anger, and who forgive men:[V_63]--but thou art excused in every case. I am unacquainted, however, with the cause of thy haste; and thou knowest that thy father used to do nothing without consulting me; and it hath been said, that the person to whom one applies for advice should be trusted: now thou wilt find no one better acquainted with the affairs of the world than myself, and I am standing on my feet to serve thee. I am not displeased with thee, and how then art thou displeased with me? But I will have patience with thee on account of the favours which I have received from thy father.--By Allah, said I, thou hast wearied me with thy discourse, and overcome me with thy speech! I desire that thou shave my head and depart from me.

I gave vent to my rage; and would have risen, even if he had wetted my head, when he said, I knew that displeasure with me had overcome thee; but I will not be angry with thee, for thy sense is weak, and thou art a youth: a short time ago I used to carry thee on my shoulder,[V_64]

and take thee to the school.--Upon this, I said to him, O my brother, I conjure thee by Allah, depart from me that I may perform my business, and go thou thy way. Then I rent my clothes; and when he saw me do this, he took the razor, and sharpened it, and continued to do so until my soul almost parted from my body; then advancing to my head, he shaved a small portion of it; after which he raised his hand, and said, O my lord, haste is from the Devil;--and he repeated this couplet:--

Deliberate, and haste not to accomplish thy desire; and be merciful, so shalt thou meet with one merciful: For there is no hand but G.o.d's hand is above it;[V_65] nor oppressor that shall not meet with an oppressor.

O my lord (he then continued), I do not imagine that thou knowest my condition in society; for my hand lighteth upon the heads of kings and emeers and wezeers and sages and learned men; and of such a one as myself hath the poet said,--

The trades altogether are like a necklace, and this barber is the chief pearl of the strings.

He excelleth all that are endowed with skill, and under his hands are the heads of Kings.

--Leave, said I, that which doth not concern thee! Thou hast contracted my heart, and troubled my mind.--I fancy that thou art in haste, he rejoined. I replied, Yes! Yes! Yes!--Proceed slowly, said he; for verily haste is from the Devil, and it giveth occasion to repentance and disappointment; and he upon whom be blessing and peace[V_65] hath said, The best of affairs is that which is commenced with deliberation:--and, by Allah, I am in doubt as to thine affair: I wish, therefore, that thou wouldst make known to me what thou art hasting to do; and may it be good; for I fear it is otherwise.

There now remained, to the appointed time, three hours; and he threw the razor from his hand in anger, and, taking the astrolabe, went again to observe the sun; then after he had waited a long time, he returned, saying, There remain, to the hour of prayer, three hours, neither more nor less. For the sake of Allah, said I, be silent; for thou hast crumbled my liver!--and thereupon, he took the razor, and sharpened it as he had done the first time, and shaved another portion of my head.

Then stopping again, he said, I am in anxiety on account of thy hurry: if thou wouldst acquaint me with the cause of it, it would be better for thee; for thou knowest that thy father used to do nothing without consulting me.

I perceived now that I could not avoid his importunity, and said within myself, The time of prayer is almost come, and I desire to go before the people come out from the service: if I delay a little longer, I know not how to gain admission to her. I therefore said to him, Be quick, and cease from this chattering and impertinence; for I desire to repair to an entertainment with my friends. But when he heard the mention of the entertainment, he exclaimed, The day is a blessed day for me! I yesterday conjured a party of my intimate friends to come and feast with me, and forgot to prepare for them anything to eat; and now I have remembered it. Alas for the disgrace that I shall experience from them!--So I said to him, Be in no anxiety on this account, since thou hast been told that I am going to-day to an entertainment; for all the food and drink that is in my house shall be thine if thou use expedition in my affair, and quickly finish shaving my head.--May G.o.d recompense thee with every blessing! he replied: describe to me what thou hast for my guests, that I may know it. I have, said I, five dishes of meat, and ten fowls fricandoed, and a roasted lamb.--Cause them to be brought before me, he said, that I may see them. So I had them brought to him, and he exclaimed, Divinely art thou gifted! How generous is thy soul!

But the incense and perfumes are wanting.--I brought him, therefore, a box containing nedd[V_67] and aloes-wood and ambergris and musk, worth fifty pieces of gold.--The time had now become contracted, like my own heart; so I said to him, Receive this, and shave the whole of my head, by the existence of Mo?ammad, G.o.d bless and save him! But he replied, By Allah, I will not take it until I see all that it contains.--I therefore ordered the boy, and he opened the box to him; whereupon the barber threw down the astrolabe from his hand, and, seating himself upon the ground, turned over the perfumes and incense and aloes-wood in the box until my soul almost quitted my body.

[Ill.u.s.tration]

He then advanced, and took the razor, and shaved another small portion of my head; after which he said, By Allah, O my son, I know not whether I should thank thee or thank thy father; for my entertainment to-day is entirely derived from thy bounty and kindness, and I have no one among my visiters deserving of it; for my guests are, Zeytoon the bath-keeper, and ?alee? the wheat-seller, and 'Owkal the bean-seller, and 'Akresheh the grocer, and ?omeyd the dustman, and 'Akarish the milk-seller, and each of these hath a peculiar dance which he performeth, and peculiar verses which he reciteth; and the best of their qualities is, that they are like thy servant, the memlook who is before thee; and I, thy slave, know neither loquacity nor impertinence. As to the bath-keeper, he saith, If I go not to the feast, it cometh to my house!--and as to the dustman, he is witty, and full of frolick: often doth he dance, and say, News, with my wife, is not kept in a chest!--and each of my friends hath jests that another hath not: but the description is not like the actual observation. If thou choose, therefore, to come to us, it will be more pleasant both to thee and to us: relinquish, then, thy visit to thy friends of whom thou hast told us that thou desirest to go to them; for the traces of disease are yet upon thee, and probably thou art going to a people of many words, who will talk of that which concerneth them not; or probably there will be among them one impertinent person; and thy soul is already disquieted by disease.--I replied, If it be the will of G.o.d, that shall be on some other day:--but he said, It will be more proper that thou first join my party of friends, that thou mayest enjoy their conviviality, and delight thyself with their salt. Act in accordance with the saying of the poet:--

Defer not a pleasure when it can be had; for fortune often destroyeth our plans.

Upon this I laughed from a heart laden with anger, and said to him, Do what I require, that I may go in the care of G.o.d, whose name be exalted!

and do thou go to thy friends, for they are waiting thine arrival. He replied, I desire nothing but to introduce thee into the society of these people; for verily they are of the sons of that cla.s.s among which is no impertinent person; and if thou didst but behold them once, thou wouldst leave all thine own companions.--May G.o.d, said I, give thee abundant joy with them, and I must bring them together here some day.--If that be thy wish, he rejoined, and thou wilt first attend the entertainment of thy friends this day, wait until I take this present with which thou hast honoured me, and place it before my friends, that they may eat and drink without waiting for me, and then I will return to thee, and go with thee to thy companions; for there is no false delicacy between me and my companions that should prevent my leaving them: so I will return to thee quickly, and repair with thee whithersoever thou goest.--Upon this I exclaimed, There is no strength nor power but in G.o.d, the High, the Great! Go thou to thy companions, and delight thy heart with them, and leave me to repair to mine, and to remain with them this day, for they are waiting my arrival.--But he said, I will not leave thee to go alone.--The place to which I am going, said I, none can enter except myself.--I suppose then, he rejoined, that thou hast an appointment to-day with some female: otherwise, thou wouldst take me with thee; for I am more deserving than all other men, and will a.s.sist thee to attain what thou desirest. I fear that thou art going to visit some strange woman, and that thy life will be lost; for in this city of Baghdad no one can do anything of this kind, especially on such a day as this; seeing that the Walee of Baghdad is a terrible, sharp sword.--Wo to thee, O wicked old man! I exclaimed, what are these words with which thou addressest me?--And upon this, he kept a long silence.

The time of prayer had now arrived, and the time of the Khu?beh[V_68] was near, when he had finished shaving my head: so I said to him, Go with this food and drink to thy friends, and I will wait for thee until thou return, and thou shalt accompany me:--and I continued my endeavours to deceive him, that he might go away; but he said to me, Verily thou art deceiving me, and wilt go alone, and precipitate thyself into a calamity from which there will be no escape for thee: by Allah! by Allah! then, quit not this spot until I return to thee and accompany thee, that I may know what will be the result of thine affair.--I replied, Well: prolong not thine absence from me. And he took the food and drink and other things which I had given him, but intrusted them to a porter to convey them to his abode, and concealed himself in one of the by-streets. I then immediately arose. The mueddins on the menarehs had chanted the Selam of Friday;[V_69] and I put on my clothes, and went forth alone, and, arriving at the by-street, stopped at the door of the house where I had seen the damsel: and lo, the barber was behind me, and I knew it not. I found the door open, and entered; and immediately the master of the house returned from the prayers, and entered the saloon, and closed the door; and I said within myself, How did this devil discover me?

Now it happened, just at this time, for the fulfilment of G.o.d's purpose to rend the veil of protection before me, that a female slave belonging to the master of the house committed some offence, in consequence of which he beat her, and she cried out; whereupon a male slave came in to him to liberate her; but he beat him also, and he likewise cried out; and the barber concluded that he was beating me; so he cried, and rent his clothes, and sprinkled dust upon his head, shrieking, and calling for a.s.sistance. He was surrounded by people, and said to them, My master hath been killed in the house of the ?a?ee! Then running to my house, crying out all the while, and with a crowd behind him, he gave the news to my family; and I knew not what he had done when they approached, crying, Alas for our master!--the barber all the while being before them, with his clothes rent, and a number of the people of the city with them. They continued shrieking, the barber shrieking at their head, and all of them exclaiming, Alas for our slain!--Thus they advanced to the house in which I was confined; and when the ?a?ee heard of this occurrence, the event troubled him, and he arose, and opened the door, and seeing a great crowd, he was confounded, and said, O people, what is the news? The servants replied, Thou hast killed our master.--O people, rejoined he, what hath your master done unto me that I should kill him; and wherefore do I see this barber before you?--Thou hast just now beaten him with mi?ra'ahs, said the barber; and I heard his cries.--What hath he done that I should kill him? repeated the ?a?ee. And whence, he added, came he; and whither would he go?--Be not an old man of malevolence, exclaimed the barber; for I know the story, and the reason of his entering thy house, and the truth of the whole affair: thy daughter is in love with him, and he is in love with her; and thou hast discovered that he had entered thy house, and hast ordered thy young men, and they have beaten him. By Allah, none shall decide between us and thee except the Khaleefeh; or thou shalt bring forth to us our master that his family may take him; and oblige me not to enter and take him forth from you: haste then thyself to produce him.

[Ill.u.s.tration]

Upon this, the ?a?ee was withheld from speaking, and became utterly abashed before the people: but presently he said to the barber, If thou speak truth, enter thyself, and bring him forth. So the barber advanced, and entered the house; and when I saw him do so, I sought for a way to escape; but I found no place of refuge except a large chest which I observed in the same apartment in which I then was: I therefore entered this, and shut down the lid, and held in my breath. Immediately after, the barber ran into the saloon, and, without looking in any other direction than that in which I had concealed myself, came thither: then turning his eyes to the right and left, and seeing nothing but the chest, he raised it upon his head; whereupon my reason forsook me. He quickly descended with it; and I, being now certain that he would not quit me, opened the chest, and threw myself upon the ground. My leg was broken by the fall; and when I came to the door of the house, I found a mult.i.tude of people: I had never seen such a crowd as was there collected on that day; so I began to scatter gold among them, to divert them; and while they were busied in picking it up, I hastened through the by-streets of Baghdad, followed by this barber; and wherever I entered, he entered after me, crying, They would have plunged me into affliction on account of my master! Praise be to G.o.d who aided me against them, and delivered my master from their hands! Thou continuedst, O my master, to be excited by haste for the accomplishment of thine evil design until thou broughtest upon thyself this event; and if G.o.d had not blessed thee with me, thou hadst not escaped from this calamity into which thou hast fallen; and they might have involved thee in a calamity from which thou wouldst never have escaped. Beg, therefore, of G.o.d, that I may live for thy sake, to liberate thee in future. By Allah, thou hast almost destroyed me by thine evil design, desiring to go alone: but we will not be angry with thee for thine ignorance, for thou art endowed with little sense, and of a hasty disposition.--Art thou not satisfied, replied I, with that which thou hast done, but wilt thou run after me through the market-streets?--And I desired for death to liberate me from him; but found it not; and in the excess of my rage I ran from him, and, entering a shop in the midst of the market, implored the protection of its owner; and he drove away the barber from me.