The Thousand and One Nights Volume I Part 30

[299] Nuzhet el-Mutaammil, &c., sect. 1.

[300] Ibid.

[301] Nuzhet el-Mutaammil, &c., sect. 1.

[302] Mir-at ez-Zeman, events of the year above mentioned.

[303] Idem, Proverbs of the Arabs: and ?amoos, _voce_ "kharaja."

[304] Ch. iv. vv. 26, 27.

[305] Nuzhet el-Mutaammil, &c., sect. 4.

[306] Idem, sect. 6.

[307] Mishkat el-Ma?abee?, vol. i. p. 229.

[308] Idem, vol. i. p. 223.

[309] Idem, vol. ii. p. 78.

[310] Idem, vol. ii. p. 79.

[311] Nuzhet El-Mutaammil, &c., sect. 4.

[312] Idem, sect. 8.

[313] Nuzhet el-Mutaammil, &c., sect. 8.

[314] Ibid.; and Mishkat el-Ma?abee?, vol. ii. p. 105.

[315] Mishkat el-Ma?abee? vol. ii. p. 104.

[316] Nuzhet el-Mutaammil, &c., _loco laudato_; and Mishkat el-Ma?abee?, vol. ii. p. 89.

[317] Nuzhet el-Mutaammil, &c., _loco laudato_.

[318] Account of the Emeer Mo?ammad agha El-Baroodee, obituary, year 1205.

[319] Nuzhet el-Mutaammil, &c., sect. 8.

[320] Mishkat el-Ma?abee?, vol. ii. p. 377.

[321] Ibid.

[322] ?ur-an, ch. v. v. 9.

CHAPTER V.

COMMENCING WITH PART OF THE TWENTY-FOURTH NIGHT, AND ENDING WITH PART OF THE THIRTY-SECOND.

THE STORY OF THE HUMPBACK.

There was, in ancient times, in the city of El-Ba?rah,[V_1] a tailor who enjoyed an ample income, and was fond of sport and merriment.

He was in the habit of going out occasionally with his wife, that they might amuse themselves with strange and diverting scenes; and one day they went forth in the afternoon,[V_2] and, returning home in the evening, met a humpbacked man, whose aspect was such as to excite laughter in the angry, and to dispel anxiety and grief: so they approached him to enjoy the pleasure of gazing at him, and invited him to return with them to their house, and to join with them in a carousal that night.

He a.s.sented to their proposal; and after he had gone with them to the house, the tailor went out to the market; night having then approached.

He bought some dried fish, and bread and limes and sweetmeat, and, returning with them, placed the fish before the humpback and they sat down to eat; and the tailor's wife took a large piece of fish, and crammed the humpback with it, and, closing his mouth with her hand, said, By Allah, thou shalt not swallow it but by gulping it at once, and I will not give thee time to chew it. He therefore swallowed it; but it contained a large and sharp bone, which stuck across in his throat, his destiny having so determined, and he expired. The tailor exclaimed, There is no strength nor power but in G.o.d the High, the Great! Alas, that this poor creature should not have died but in this manner by our hands!--Wherefore this idling? exclaimed the woman.--And what can I do?

asked her husband.--Arise she answered, and take him in thy bosom, and cover him with a silk napkin: I will go out first and do thou follow me, this very night and say, This is my son, and this is his mother; and we are going to convey him to the physician, that he may give him some medicine.

No sooner had the tailor heard these words than he arose, and took the humpback in his bosom. His wife, accompanying him, exclaimed, O my child! may Allah preserve thee! Where is the part in which thou feelest pain; and where hath this small-pox attacked thee?--So every one who saw them said, They are conveying a child smitten with the small-pox. Thus they proceeded, inquiring as they went, for the abode of the physician; and the people directed them to the house of a physician who was a Jew; and they knocked at the door, and there came down to them a black slave-girl, who opened the door, and beheld a man carrying (as she imagined) a child, and attended by its mother; and she said, What is your business?--We have a child here answered the tailor's wife, and we want the physician to see him: take, then, this quarter of a piece of gold, and give it to thy master, and let him come down and see my son; for he is ill. The girl, therefore, went up, and the tailor's wife, entering the vestibule, said to her husband, Leave the humpback here, and let us take ourselves away. And the tailor, accordingly, set him up against the wall, and went out with his wife.

The slave-girl, meanwhile, went in to the Jew, and said to him, Below, in the house, is a sick person, with a woman and a man: and they have given me a quarter of a piece of gold for thee, that thou mayest prescribe for them what may suit his case. And when the Jew saw the quarter of a piece of gold, he rejoiced, and, rising in haste, went down in the dark; and in doing so, his foot struck against the lifeless humpback. O Ezra! he exclaimed--O Heavens and the Ten Commandments! O Aaron, and Joshua son of Nun! It seemeth that I have stumbled against this sick person, and he hath fallen down the stairs and died! And how shall I go forth with one killed from my house? O Ezra's a.s.s![V_3]--He then raised him, and took him up from the court of the house to his wife, and acquainted her with the accident.--And why sittest thou here idle? said she; for if thou remain thus until daybreak our lives will be lost: let me and thee, then, take him up to the terrace, and throw him into the house of our neighbour the Muslim; for he is the steward of the Sul?an's kitchen, and often do the cats come to his house, and eat of the food which they find there;[V_4] as do the mice too: and if he remain there for a night, the dogs will come down to him from the terraces and eat him up entirely.[V_5] So the Jew and his wife went up, carrying the humpback, and let him down by his hands and feet to the pavement; placing him against the wall; which having done, they descended.

Not long had the humpback been thus deposited when the steward returned to his house, and opened the door, and, going up with a lighted candle in his hand, found a son of Adam standing in the corner next the kitchen; upon which he exclaimed, What is this? By Allah, the thief that hath stolen our goods is none other than a son of Adam, who taketh what he findeth of flesh or grease, even though I keep it concealed from the cats and the dogs; and if I killed all the cats and dogs of the quarter it would be of no use; for he cometh down from the terraces!--And so saying, he took up a great mallet, and struck him with it, and then, drawing close to him, gave him a second blow with it upon the chest, when the humpback fell down, and he found that he was dead; whereupon he grieved, and said, There is no strength nor power but in G.o.d! And he feared for himself, and exclaimed, Curse upon the grease and the flesh, and upon this night, in which the destiny of this man hath been accomplished by my hand! Then, looking upon him, and perceiving that he was a humpback, he said, Is it not enough that thou art humpbacked, but must thou also be a robber, and steal the flesh and the grease? O Protector, cover me with thy gracious shelter!--And he lifted him upon his shoulders, and descended, and went forth from his house, towards the close of the night, and stopped not until he had conveyed him to the commencement of the market-street, where he placed him upon his feet by the side of a shop at the entrance of a lane, and there left him and retired.

Soon after, there came a Christian, the Sul?an's broker, who, in a state of intoxication, had come forth to visit the bath; and he advanced, staggering, until he drew near to the humpback, when he turned his eyes, and beheld one standing by him. Now some persons had s.n.a.t.c.hed off his turban early in the night,[V_6] and when he saw the humpback standing there, he concluded that he intended to do the same; so he clenched his fist, and struck him on the neck. Down fell the humpback upon the ground, and the Christian called out to the watchman of the market,[V_7] while, still in the excess of his intoxication, he continued beating the humpback, and attempting to throttle him. As he was thus employed, the watchman came, and, finding the Christian kneeling upon the Muslim[V_8] and beating him, said, Arise, and quit him! He arose, therefore, and the watchman, approaching the humpback, saw that he was dead, and exclaimed, How is it that the Christian dareth to kill the Muslim? Then seizing the Christian, he bound his hands behind him, and took him to the house of the Walee;[V_9] the Christian saying within himself, O Heavens! O Virgin! how have I killed this man? and how quickly did he die from a blow of the hand!--Intoxication had departed, and reflection had come.

The humpback and the Christian pa.s.sed the remainder of the night in the house of the Walee, and the Walee ordered the executioner to proclaim the Christian's crime, and he set up a gallows, and stationed him beneath it. The executioner then came, and threw the rope round his neck, and was about to hang him, when the Sul?an's steward pushed through the crowd, seeing the Christian standing beneath the gallows, and the people made way for him, and he said to the executioner, Do it not; for it was I who killed him.--Wherefore didst thou kill him? said the Walee. He answered, I went into my house last night, and saw that he had descended from the terrace and stolen my goods; so I struck him with a mallet upon his chest, and he died, and I carried him out, and conveyed him to the market-street, where I set him up in such a place, at the entrance of such a lane. Is it not enough for me to have killed a Muslim, that a Christian should be killed on my account? Hang, then, none but me.--The Walee, therefore, when he heard these words, liberated the Christian broker, and said to the executioner, Hang this man, on the ground of his confession. And he took off the rope from the neck of the Christian, and put it round the neck of the steward, and, having stationed him beneath the gallows, was about to hang him, when the Jewish physician pushed through the crowd, and called out to the executioner, saying to him, Do it not; for none killed him but I; and the case was this: he came to my house to be cured of a disease, and as I descended to him I struck against him with my foot, and he died: kill not the steward, therefore; but kill me. So the Walee gave orders to hang the Jewish physician; and the executioner took off the rope from the steward's neck, and put it round the neck of the Jew. But, lo, the tailor came, and, forcing his way among the people, said to the executioner, Do it not; for none killed him but I; and it happened thus: I was out amusing myself during the day, and as I was returning at the commencement of the night, I met this humpback in a state of intoxication, with a tambourine, and singing merrily; and I stopped to divert myself by looking at him, and took him to my house. I then bought some fish, and we sat down to eat, and my wife took a piece of fish and a morsel of bread, and crammed them into his mouth, and he was choked, and instantly died. Then I and my wife took him to the house of the Jew, and the girl came down and opened the door, and while she went up to her master, I set up the humpback by the stairs, and went away with my wife: so, when the Jew came down and stumbled against him, he thought that he had killed him.--And he said to the Jew, Is this true? He answered, Yes.

The tailor, then, looking towards the Walee, said to him, Liberate the Jew, and hang me. And when the Walee heard this he was astonished at the case of the humpback, and said, Verily this is an event that should be recorded in books! And he said to the executioner, Liberate the Jew, and hang the tailor on account of his own confession. So the executioner led him forward, saying, Dost thou put forward this and take back that; and shall we not hang one? And he put the rope round the neck of the tailor.

Now the humpback was the Sul?an's buffoon, and the Sul?an could not bear him to be out of his sight; and when the humpback had got drunk, and been absent that night and the next day until noon, the King inquired respecting him of some of his attendants, and they answered him, O our lord, the Walee hath taken him forth dead, and gave orders to hang the person who killed him, and there came a second and a third person, each saying, None killed him but I:--and describing to the Walee the cause of his killing him. When the King, therefore, heard this, he called out to the Chamberlain, and said to him, Go down to the Walee, and bring them all hither before me. So the Chamberlain went down, and found that the executioner had almost put to death the tailor, and he called out to him, saying, Do it not:--and informed the Walee that the case had been reported to the King. And he took him, and the humpback borne with him, and the tailor and the Jew and the Christian and the steward, and went up with them all to the King; and when the Walee came into the presence of the King, he kissed the ground, and related to him all that had happened. And the King was astonished, and was moved with merriment, at hearing this tale; and he commanded that it should be written in letters of gold. He then said to those who were present, Have ye ever heard anything like the story of this humpback? And upon this the Christian advanced, and said, O King of the age, if thou permit me I will relate to thee an event that hath occurred to me more wonderful and strange and exciting than the story of the humpback.--Tell us then thy story, said the King. And the Christian related as follows:--

[Ill.u.s.tration]

[Ill.u.s.tration]

THE STORY TOLD BY THE CHRISTIAN BROKER.

Know, O King of the age, that I came to this country with merchandise, and destiny stayed me among your people. I was born in Cairo, and am one of its Copts, and there I was brought up. My father was a broker; and when I had attained to manhood, he died, and I succeeded to his business; and as I was sitting one day, lo, a young man of most handsome aspect, and clad in a dress of the richest description, came to me, riding upon an a.s.s, and, when he saw me, saluted me; whereupon I rose to him, to pay him honour, and he produced a handkerchief containing some sesame, and said, What is the value of an ardebb[V_10] of this? I answered him, A hundred pieces of silver. And he said to me, Take the carriers and the measurers, and repair to the Khan of El-Jawalee[V_11]

in the district of Bab en-Na?r:[V_12] there wilt thou find me. And he left me and went his way, after having given me the handkerchief with the sample of the sesame. So I went about to the purchasers; and the price of each ardebb amounted to a hundred and twenty pieces of silver; and I took with me four carriers, and went to him. I found him waiting my arrival; and when he saw me he rose and opened a magazine, and we measured its contents, and the whole amounted to fifty ardebbs. The young man then said, Thou shalt have, for every ardebb, ten pieces of silver as brokerage; and do thou receive the price and keep it in thy care: the whole sum will be five thousand; and thy share of it, five hundred: so there will remain for me four thousand and five hundred; and when I shall have finished the sale of the goods contained in my store-rooms, I will come to thee and receive it. I replied, It shall be as thou desirest. And I kissed his hand, and left him. Thus there accrued to me, on that day, a thousand pieces of silver, besides my brokerage.[V_13]

He was absent from me a month, at the expiration of which he came and said to me, Where is the money? I answered, Here it is, ready. And he said, Keep it until I come to thee to receive it. And I remained expecting him; but he was absent from me another month; after which he came again, and said, Where is the money? Whereupon I arose and saluted him, and said to him, Wilt thou eat something with us? He, however, declined, and said, Keep the money until I shall have gone and returned to receive it from thee. He then departed; and I arose, and prepared for him the money, and sat expecting him; but again he absented himself from me for a month, and then came and said, After this day I will receive it from thee. And he departed, and I made ready the money for him as before, and sat waiting his return. Again, however, he remained a month absent from me, and I said within myself, Verily this young man is endowed with consummate liberality! After the month he came, attired in rich clothing, and resembling the full moon, appearing as if he had just come out of the bath, with red cheek and fair forehead, and a mole like a globule of ambergris. When I beheld him I kissed his hand, and invoked a blessing upon him, and said to him, O my master, wilt thou not take thy money?--Have patience with me, he answered, until I shall have transacted all my affairs, after which I will receive it from thee. And so saying, he departed; and I said within myself, By Allah, when he cometh I will entertain him as a guest, on account of the profit which I have derived from his money; for great wealth hath accrued to me from it.

At the close of the year he returned, clad in a dress richer than the former; and I swore to him that he should alight to be my guest.--On the condition, he replied, that thou expend nothing of my money that is in thy possession. I said, Well:--and, having seated him, prepared what was requisite of meats and drinks and other provisions, and placed them before him, saying, In the name of Allah! And he drew near to the table, and put forth his left hand, and thus ate with me: so I was surprised at him;[V_14] and when we had finished he washed his hand, and I gave him a napkin with which to wipe it. We then sat down to converse, and I said, O my master dispel a trouble from my mind. Wherefore didst thou eat with thy left hand? Probably something paineth thee in thy right hand?--On hearing these words, he stretched forth his arm from his sleeve,[V_15] and behold, it was maimed--an arm without a hand! And I wondered at this; but he said to me, Wonder not; nor say in thy heart that I ate with thee with my left hand from a motive of self-conceit; for rather to be wondered at is the cause of the cutting off of my right hand. And what, said I, was the cause of it? He answered, thus:--

Know that I am from Baghdad: my father was one of the chief people of that city; and when I had attained the age of manhood, I heard the wanderers and travellers and merchants conversing respecting the land of Egypt, and their words remained in my heart until my father died, when I took large sums of money, and prepared merchandise consisting of the stuffs of Baghdad and of El-Mo?il, and similar precious goods, and, having packed them up, journeyed from Baghdad; and G.o.d decreed me safety until I entered this your city. And so saying, he wept, and repeated these verses:--

The blear-eyed escapeth a pit into which the clear-sighted falleth; And the ignorant, an expression by which the shrewd sage is ruined.

The believer can scarce earn his food, while the impious infidel is favoured.

What art or act can a man devise? It is what the Almighty appointeth!

I entered Cairo, continued the young man, and deposited the stuffs in the Khan of Mesroor,[V_16] and, having unbound my packages and put them in the magazines, gave to the servant some money to buy for us something to eat, after which I slept a little; and when I arose, I went to Beyn el-?a?reyn.[V_17] I then returned, and pa.s.sed the night; and in the morning following, I opened a bale of stuff, and said within myself, I will arise and go through some of the market-streets, and see the state of the mart. So I took some stuff, and made some of my servants carry it, and proceeded until I arrived at the ?eysareeyeh of Jaharkas,[V_18] where the brokers came to me, having heard of my arrival, and took from me the stuff, and cried it about for sale; but the price bidden amounted not to the prime cost. And upon this the Sheykh of the brokers said to me, O my master, I know a plan by which thou mayest profit; and it is this: that thou do as other merchants, and sell thy merchandise upon credit for a certain period, employing a scrivener and a witness and a money-changer, and receive a portion of the profits every Thursday and Monday; so shalt thou make of every piece of silver two; and besides that, thou wilt be able to enjoy the amus.e.m.e.nts afforded by Egypt and its Nile.--The advice is judicious, I replied: and accordingly I took the brokers with me to the Khan, and they conveyed the stuffs to the ?eysareeyeh, where I sold it to the merchants, writing a bond in their names, which I committed to the money-changer, and taking from him a corresponding bond. I then returned to the Khan, and remained there some days; and every day I took for my breakfast a cup of wine, and had mutton and sweetmeats prepared for me, until the month in which I became ent.i.tled to the receipt of the profits, when I seated myself every Thursday and Monday at the shops of the merchants, and the money-changer went with the scrivener and brought me the money.

[Ill.u.s.tration]