The Tables Turned Part 5

_Mr. H_. You say that the audience was very small; that was at first; but did it not increase as time went on?

_Arch_. Yes; an itinerant vendor of ices drew up his stall there, and two policemen--these gentlemen--strolled in, and some ten or more others stood round us before the orator had finished.

_Mr. H_. (_Aside_: H'm! old beggar will be so very specific. Let's try him as to the sedition.) (_To_ ARCH.) My lord, you said that you were shocked at what the prisoner said: what was the nature of his discourse?

_Arch_. I regret to have to say that it was a ma.s.s of the most frightful incendiarism, delivered with an occasional air of jocularity and dry humour that made my flesh creep. Amidst the persistent attacks on property he did not spare other sacred things. He even made an attack on my position, stating (wrongly) the amount of my moderate stipend. Indeed, I think he recognised me, although I was partially disguised.

_J. F_. (_Aside_: True for you, old Benson, or else how could I have subpoenaed you?)

_Mr. H_. I thank your Grace: that will do.

_J. F_. I now call Lord Tennyson.

[LORD TENNYSON _sworn_.

_J. F_. My lord, have you been present, in disguise, at a meeting of the Socialist League in 13 Farringdon Road?

_Lord T_. What's that to you? What do you want to know for? Yes, I have, if it comes to that.

_J. F_. Who brought you there?

_Lord T_. A policeman: one Potlegoff. I thought he was a Russian by his name, but it seems he is an Englishman--and a liar. He said it would be exciting: so I went.

_J. F_. And was it exciting?

_Lord T_. NO: it was _dull_.

_J. F_. How many were present?

_Lord T_. Seventeen: I counted them, because I hadn't got anything else to do.

_J. F_. Did they plot anything dreadful?

_Lord T_. Not that I could hear. They sat and smoked; and one fool was in the chair, and another fool read letters; and then they worried till I was sick of it as to where such and such fools should go to spout folly the next week; and now and then an old bald-headed fool and a stumpy little fool in blue made jokes, at which they laughed a good deal; but I couldn't understand the jokes--and I came away.

_J. F_. Thank you, my lord.

_Mr. H_. My lord Tennyson, I wish to ask you a question. You say that you couldn't understand their jokes: but could you understand them when they were in earnest?

_Lord T_. No, I couldn't: I can't say I tried. I don't want to understand Socialism: it doesn't belong to my time. [_Exit_.

_J. F_. I call Professor Tyndall.

[PROFESSOR TYNDALL _sworn_.

_J. F_. Professor Tyndall, have you seen me before?

_Pro. T_. Yes; I have seen you in a public-house, where I went to collect the opinions of the lower orders against Mr. Gladstone.

_J. F_. Who was I with?

_Pro. T_. You were with a man whom I was told was a policeman in plain clothes, and with some others that I a.s.sume to have been friends of yours, as you winked at them and you and they were laughing together as you talked to the policeman.

_J. F_. Do you see the policeman in Court?

_Pro. T_. Yes; there he is.

_J. F_. Was he drunk or sober?

_Pro. T_. What, now?

_J. F_. No--then.

_Pro. T_. (_with decision_). Drunk.

_J. F_. Was I drunk?

_Pro. T_. What, now?

_J. F_. No--then; though you may tell me whether I'm drunk or not now, if you like, and define drunkenness scientifically.

_Pro. T_. Well, you were so, so.

_J. F_. Thank you, Professor.

_Mr. H_. One question, Professor Tyndall. Did you hear what the prisoner was saying to the policeman--who, by the way, was, I suspect, only shamming drunkenness?

_J. F_. (_Aside_: He could carry a good deal, then.)

_Pro. T_. Yes, I heard him. He was boasting of the extent and power of the Socialist organisation.

_Mr. H_. And did you believe it? did it surprise you?

_Pro. T_. It did not in the least surprise me: it seemed to me the natural consequences of Gladstone's Home Rule Bill. As to believing it, I knew he was jesting; but I thought that his jesting concealed very serious earnest. He seemed to me a determined, cunning, and most dangerous person.

_Mr. H_. I thank you, professor. [_Exit_ PRO. T.

_J. N_. Prisoner, do you want to re-examine the witnesses? What's that noise outside? They ought to be arrested.

["_Ma.r.s.eillaise_" _again without, and tumult nearer_. FREEMAN _listens intently, without heeding the_ JUDGE.

_J. N_. Prisoner, why don't you answer? Your insolence won't serve you here, I can tell you.

_J. F_. I was listening, Judge; I thought I heard that echo again.

_J. N_. Echo again! What does the fellow mean? It's my belief you're drunk, sir: that you have stimulated your courage by liquor.

_A Voice_. Look out for _your_ courage, old c.o.c.kywax; you may have something to try it presently!