The Sweetest Scent Part 9

He closed his eyes and only then realized how hurt he felt all over. Physically weary, bruised and battered. His eyelids were heavy like concrete, and his eyes itched, like they were dirty or burning with unshed tears. Yet, he didn't feel like crying, or screaming, or punching a bag, or anything. He simply lay there, waiting in silence.

Unaware of the pa.s.sage of time, Bro startled a bit when he heard the door creak open and then close. Shuffling of feet, rustling of clothes, and the dipping of the mattress signaled the arrival of another person. Then the sweetest perfume a.s.sailed his nostrils: Lacey's natural scent. Not even a hint of blood anymore. Fragrances of bergamot-scented soap and strawberry shampoo hung thickly in the air, indicating she had indeed showered and changed before coming to him.

A warm arm wrapped around his waist, and a head rested on his pectoral muscle. His own arms came around the other body instinctively.

For a while it was quiet.

Then Bro had to say something out loud. "Did Jordan and Bas go back to the station?" Lacey replied with only a nod he felt through his T-shirt. "Are you okay?"

She was still and silent for a long time, and Bro thought she might have fallen asleep as her breathing was even and slow. But then she whispered, "I guess." Wanting to say something encouraging and yet soothing remained a mere intention for Bro before Lacey continued. "I can't cry anymore. I don't have any more tears left. I'm tired of blubbering my eyes red or pouring my heart out. I don't want to do it any longer. Dad.... He's not going to get one more drop from me."

Bro stroked her hair, still damp and slick from the shower. "Okay."

"Does that make me a bad person...?"

She sounded so small saying that, it made Bro shiver. "No. Of course not. People can push you too far sometimes. And then your emotions just sort of... dull, you know. Lose their edge. And it doesn't feel the same anymore; it doesn't make you react the same. It's okay. It's just human." He fell silent, wanting Lacey to take the lead and guide him wherever she needed to go.

She sighed, and her hold of him tightened for a moment. "I know you're mad at me-"

"No, I'm not."

"You wanted my dad to know his accusations weren't true."

"Yeah, but I'm not angry with-"

"He wasn't in a state of mind where he could process anything. Certainly nothing as important as the fact that Mom had gone to the mall to buy a present for Dad for their upcoming anniversary, not to come pick me up from my violin lessons."

"He's gotta find out at some point, Lace. Or he's gonna go to his grave believing it was your fault when it wasn't. But... I am not not angry with you. Not now, not ever." Licking his dry lips, he prayed for guidance and patience, and a bunch of other things just for the h.e.l.l of it. "What I am is confused. Or I was. I get it. Why you didn't tell him. Why you didn't cry. Why you feel so...." angry with you. Not now, not ever." Licking his dry lips, he prayed for guidance and patience, and a bunch of other things just for the h.e.l.l of it. "What I am is confused. Or I was. I get it. Why you didn't tell him. Why you didn't cry. Why you feel so...."

He let his words trail off, not wanting to finish that statement of how alien she had felt then. Maybe Bro had gotten too used to Lacey's girlish side and expected her to always need his masculine protection and strength. Now he was lost when she didn't appear to need him for those things anymore.

Lacey shifted upward until she was able to nuzzle Bro's neck. The physical response was immediate as Bro's c.o.c.k stiffened in his jeans and heat rose all over his skin, p.r.i.c.kling.

Against his skin, she whispered, "I feel like I grew up today, Bro. Like I have been a child all this time without realizing it, and today I came face-to-face with the real world. The adult world. It hurt, all that stuff he said, what he accused me of." Suddenly she snorted, the hot puff of breath tickling Bro's skin and giving him goose b.u.mps. "Mom would've kicked his a.s.s for saying that."

Bro smiled a bit. "I wish I had met your mom."

"She would've loved you." Lacey kissed his pulse point. "Not like I love you, but still. My mom's death broke my dad, and he just can't get over it. I miss her too, every day. But I can't live in the past, not like he's trying to." Then she shuddered violently. "But I didn't realize my appearance reminded him of her all the time."

Bro felt a chill in his spine. "So, what? Now you're gonna change to appease him?" He tried so hard to keep the venom from his voice but knew he had been unsuccessful when Lacey let out a long-suffering breath. "I'm sorry, Lace. I'm so f.u.c.king sorry."

"I know, honey. I know." Lacey kissed his neck again, and Bro felt the hot moisture of her lips like a sweet benediction, granting him deliverance. "Before this whole mess, I was thinking about transitioning." Bro's heart nearly stopped then as he envisioned the boy he knew becoming physically a girl. The process was supposed to be about the goal of matching an inner sense of gender with an outer one. That was all well and good-but where did that leave those who were in a relationship with a transitioned person? Lost? Confused? Angry? Afraid? Happy? Still in love...?

Bro got up so fast Lacey dropped down on the mattress. G.o.d, he'd really hoped he could have displayed better self-control than this, but he failed. His head was spinning, and his vision grew hazy. He felt like he was having a panic attack. Pressing his tight chest, he aimed to regain his composure. But he failed at that too.

"Lace...," he mumbled, his knees so rubbery he fell down on his b.u.t.t on the floor.

Right away Lacey was there, angling her way onto his lap, cupping his face until they were looking into each other's eyes. "I said I was thinking about the process and and... I like my dresses and stockings and bra and makeup. But But... I like being a boy. You know, just for you. Like I'm... candy wrapped in shiny paper. Colorful and sweet, to be unwrapped by you for the delicious treat inside."

Bro stared, his jaw hanging open. "Candy...?"

At that, Lacey actually giggled, covering her mouth with her hand in such a familiar gesture Bro felt most of the tension leave his body. "Yes. For you. And And for me too, really. I don't want actual b.r.e.a.s.t.s, or a... a p.u.s.s.y. I like my boy bits. I like that for me too, really. I don't want actual b.r.e.a.s.t.s, or a... a p.u.s.s.y. I like my boy bits. I like that you you like my boy bits." like my boy bits."

"Yeah, I love your boy bits." Bro grinned but quickly sobered up. "I'm sorry I freaked out. I just.... Everything's moving so fast, you know?"

"And we're just trying to hang on that bucking bull for our dear lives? Yes, I know exactly what you mean." Lacey pressed her forehead against his, and Bro surrounded her with his arms, embracing her close. "I guess I was thinking about transitioning into a woman because I miss Mom. As much as I like my girly things, a part of me maybe chose them because of her. I always idolized her. I wanted to be pretty like her."

"You are are beautiful," Bro said determinedly, but feeling anything but confident. "You want to stop being a girl?" beautiful," Bro said determinedly, but feeling anything but confident. "You want to stop being a girl?"

Lacey gave him a long look he couldn't decipher. "I'm not a girl."

Bro gave an exasperated sigh. "Yeah, I know that. But... you know what I mean."

Shrugging, Lacey looked sad. "I like being a girl, or looking like one, anyway. It stopped being about Mom a long time ago, even if the inspiration did come from her. I like the way I am now. I didn't understand Dad saw her in me every time. I'm sorry he feels that way, but... but I can't ever be what he wants me to be. Nothing but a boy."

"You're more than that. And that's fine. It's perfectly fine."

Lacey smiled, and Bro felt warm, as if the sun shone on his face. "Thanks, honey."

"You're my girl," Bro said, this time with absolute faith. "And you're my boy." you're my boy."

Lacey snickered, brushing her lips gently over his. "I sure am."

The kiss was soft and tentative at first, mere flicks of tongue and nipping of lips, but soon it grew hotter, wetter, needier, and more open. Lacey delved inside Bro's mouth, and he groaned, seeking more by sucking on her tongue and lips almost desperately. Craving her was like requiring the heart to beat; living was impossible without it.

Lacey's hands dipped low and slipped beneath Bro's T-shirt in search of skin. Bro was happy to oblige.

"Make love to me, Bro."

Lacey's whisper caused all the blood in Bro's body to rush south of his belt. "Yeah."

Then she spoke so low Bro almost missed it-and a part of him wished he had indeed missed it. "Tonight, I want you inside me."

Chapter 9.

"ARE you... all right...?" Lacey searched Bro's shocked face for clues that he didn't want to have a.n.a.l s.e.x with her right then, or perhaps ever. After all, it wasn't like they had never spoken of it. It had been understood for a long time they were going to do the big you... all right...?" Lacey searched Bro's shocked face for clues that he didn't want to have a.n.a.l s.e.x with her right then, or perhaps ever. After all, it wasn't like they had never spoken of it. It had been understood for a long time they were going to do the big it it at some point. at some point.

Then she learned that instead of doubts about the act itself, he questioned her motives. "Why? Why now?" Bro's voice was low, strained, nearly rough. Lacey knew instantly the reasons behind the query and the tone.

"It wouldn't be like a Band-Aid, I swear. It's just...." She swallowed hard, clasping the front of his shirt in her hands. "He said such horrible things. I want to erase this feeling like... dirt, you know. In his mind this is wrong. He thinks that two guys shouldn't love each other, that it couldn't be beautiful and loving. I don't believe that."

Bro sighed, dropping his gaze to her hands, and covered them with his own. "Making love because of your dad? Not exactly how I pictured it." The bitterness came through in waves.

"No, not because of him." She shook her head furiously, and Bro looked up at her, frowning. "You and me?" Lacey cupped his face, smoothing out the wrinkles on his forehead with her thumbs. "We're A-okay. He's not getting between us. In fact, he's gone. I'm not thinking about him."

"But you just said-"

"You didn't let me finish. Since we met in the music room, being with you has been all I think about. Well... a lot of what I think about." Lacey let out a breathless snicker, and a ghost of a smile flickered across Bro's lips too. "Since Mom died, it's like I'm stuck in a storm, and it never ends. The only thing that ever made everything calm and not spin was my music. And then later... you."

Bro nodded, clearly shaken. "You too. I mean...." Seeking the right words turned into a silence, and Lacey could relate.

"I know, honey. Yes, I'm feeling lonely. Yes, I'm sort of alone now. Yes, Dad's still in my head, in some distant, dark places. But no, he's not why I want you to make love to me."

Bro swallowed visibly, his Adam's apple bobbing frantically. "No...?"

"I've been inside the storm for so long I almost can't imagine my life without it. With you, it doesn't feel so bad, or so daunting and depressing. With you, the storm's kind of... hot."

Lacey was running out of words, and she needed her guy to understand. She watched Bro frown again and bite his lip, but she interpreted the look as puzzlement instead of as a rejection.

"Hot?" he repeated.

Lacey struggled to find words to the meaning within her heart. "Like... like fire... and water. Your hot love and pa.s.sion for me. And your cooling presence. Two in one."

Bro's head c.o.c.ked to the side, and Lacey could practically see the gears turning in his head. "So...." He spoke slowly, as if figuring it out as he went along. "Your life's in turmoil, and I make things calm for you?" Lacey nodded, letting out a breath as he was starting to get it. "But at the same time, I also keep things a bit wild, kind of like a storm, and you're used to it, and it's hot because it's me?" Bro sounded less certain now, but Lacey felt only relief as she nodded again, at last able to smile as tension left her. "Lace... that's a bit...." Suddenly he seemed to change his mind; he shook his head as if to dislodge unwanted thoughts and exhaled. "Okay."

"Okay?" Lacey hoped he meant what she wished he was saying.

Bro smiled. "Yeah. Okay. I get it. There's been crazy s.h.i.t going down lately. You want a break. But you also want to... to just get f.u.c.ked." The wildfire-like blush that spread across his cheeks in a heartbeat made Lacey want to kiss him so badly she trembled at the impulse.

"Yes." She smiled back, rea.s.sured. "Only gently. At first, anyway. Then we can go, you know, hard and fast."

Bro brushed his fingers across her cheek and jawline. "No. No hard and fast tonight. I I want to go slow. I want the pleasure to build, and build, and build until you beg me to come." His eyes narrowed. "I'm not gonna back down on this. It's my way or no way." want to go slow. I want the pleasure to build, and build, and build until you beg me to come." His eyes narrowed. "I'm not gonna back down on this. It's my way or no way."

Lacey didn't know if she was pleased at the way Bro wanted to handle things or upset he was calling all the shots. But deep down, she knew his motives were pure and selfless as he didn't want to hurt her, so she let go of her indignation. And the thought of him manhandling her into rapture was a definite bonus.

She smirked. "Okay."

Bro studied her face the same way he had a while back, searching for signs of doubt, fear, and other obstacles to overcome. Apparently he didn't find any. "Okay then. Up on the bed."

Lacey giggled. "You're such a romantic."

Nonetheless, she wiggled herself out of his lap and dropped down on the bed. Bro stood up-and froze, staring at her, lost and confused. But Lacey understood. Her attire from before had been torn, so she had to borrow clothes after her shower. Now she had on a simple T-shirt and sweats, both baggy and gray, totally unlike her.

"My dress got ripped, and it's filthy. You didn't have anything of mine here. Unless you're hiding a skirt of your own in the back of the closet. Are you?" Lacey quirked an eyebrow in jest and as a dare.

"What if I told you I am?"

Lacey's eyes grew wide in shock until Bro's smirk told her all she needed to know. "If you did, I'd tell you to put up or shut up." She waggled her eyebrows, daring him.

Kneeling on the bed between her spread legs, he grinned wickedly. "I don't have any dresses here, it's true, but I may have at least one pair of your stockings buried in the back of the closet. I might put them on for you-for a price."

A thrill shot through Lacey at the image of Bro in stockings and garters just for her, the silk glowing in the dim light of a bedroom, in expectation of a sensuous rendezvous for two.

"Oh, G.o.d," she gasped at the visual fantasy.

Bro laughed low, seductively. "If I put out for you, I'm sure you'll put out for me."

"Oh, it's like that, is it?" Lacey teased.

Grinning, Bro nodded. "Yeah, it's just like that, baby. And you can't say no."

"No?" Lacey's eyebrows rose.

"Nope." Bro's gaze scoured Lacey's clad figure even though Lacey couldn't imagine him being able to see even an inch of exposed skin. Then she remembered he had seen her naked numerous times, and heat flashed through her body. The crotch of her sweats tented.

"Why are you the only one allowed to say... that word?" she insisted.

"'Cause very soon I'll be the master of yes."

As the echo of his words and meaning died down, Bro dipped his head to brush his lips over the peachy skin beneath Lacey's ear. He tugged the fabric of the shirt out of the way as he glided his mouth down the curve of her neck and finally sucked up a mark on her shoulder. His barely-there touch followed the elegant lines of her muscles and tendons and traced the edges of the delicate protruding bones.

Lacey sucked in a breath, desperate for anything to cool her flaming insides. "Yes, my master," she whispered, only partially joking.

Licking his way to her mouth, Bro proceeded to kiss Lacey breathless.

Until she grimaced in pain and let out a cry.

Immediately Bro backed off, frightened. "What?"

Embarra.s.sed, Lacey blushed. "It's my lip. It hurts." In the scuffle with her father and Audrey, her lower lip had taken the brunt of a blow, and blood had gushed into her mouth. At least she hadn't lost any teeth. Though the split had closed quickly, the coppery taste of blood hadn't disappeared for a long time. The side of her face throbbed unpleasantly every once in a while, and her ears had been ringing after it had happened too.

"Why the h.e.l.l didn't you say anything?" Bro growled with displeasure and moved off her.

Clutching at her boyfriend's T-shirt, Lacey yanked him back, though not hard enough to keep him as close as he had been. "I didn't want to stop-"

"You must think me really callous if you believe I'd want to f.u.c.k you-and hurt you with every kiss." The anguish Lacey felt was mirrored on Bro's face, and she felt horrible for giving him cause to doubt her so.

"I'm sorry." She felt like shrinking but couldn't in reality fold herself into a neat knot no one could ever force open again.

She heard Bro sigh ruefully. "Don't apologize, Lace. Come on. Let me see those pretty peepers of yours." The silly lure worked, and Lacey looked up to see Bro's expression soften as he smiled. "There you are." He took a deep breath, as if to steady himself. "Lacey, I get why you want this. And G.o.d knows how much I'd love to just-" He shook his head, caught off guard with his wayward thoughts. "But one man has already hurt you today. I won't add to that."

"But-" Lacey stammered to speak.

"No buts." Bro was adamant, his chin lifting decisively. "Honey, you're hurt. It's okay to admit you're not a hundred percent right now."

Lacey waited until Bro stopped talking. "Can I talk now?" Bro rolled his eyes, but for effect nodded his acquiescence. After everything she had been through today, she wanted warmth, physical closeness, the intimacy of love and all that came with it. But at what cost?

As she looked into Bro's hesitant gaze, Lacey had her answer. "I love you. Another day, then."

When Bro c.o.c.ked his head to the side and looked at her amusedly, Lacey's stomach suddenly lurched. He was so up to something. "Just because there's stuff we can't do, doesn't mean there's nothing we can do, right?" He waggled his eyebrows, and stuck his tongue out between his teeth.

Lacey burst out laughing, but stopped when her sore muscles and ribs ached. "Ouch." Bro was about to leap to her aid, but she held out a hand. "I'm fine. Just don't make me laugh so much, you fiend." He managed to look sheepish, which prompted another giggling spell from her. "So, what do you want to do?"